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Dear Journal,

Yesterday I met a really cute kid named Seth. He was amazing and I am pretty sure he liked me. All he did was walk me to the grocery store, but the time I was with him, I forgot all about my crappy life. I forgot about all my horrible loved ones. But, there's the problem. I feel like if I love him, he will end up like one of those horrible loved ones. Then, there will be absolutely no one who can make my pain go away. I would rather know someone can make my pain go away existed, then him be gone forever. That brings me to my final decision: I am going to try my hardest to stay away from Seth. But what it comes down to is my self control. And we both know I don't have any. I got to go Journal. I will talk to you soon.

~ Jamie

Jamie Pov

Tomorrow is the first day of school. I can barely believe that I have been in La Push for almost a week. I haven't made any friends and Mom has been gone since last Wednesday. I don't really mind though. I can use my days as I like without doing her errands. I have seen Seth so many times, its like the universe enjoys my pain.

I saw him the other day at the First Beach. He was just sitting there staring into the ocean. He looked like he was in deep thought. He was scrunching his eyes and he had a smirk on his face. When he saw me approaching, his eyes got huge and he got a huge sloppy smile on his face. He motioned for me to come over. I turned around and ran away. I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart a million times. I wish I could explain everything to him, but I just can't. He might not like me anymore. Oh well.

********NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL*******

"BEEP!" I shot up from bed and pushed down my alarm clock. Today was the first day of school; the first day of high school. And I am the new kid, lucky me. Cliques have already been made, I will just be the outcast. Its not that different from my role from my middle school, but I had friends back then. Now I don't. I quickly put on an Aeropostale striped sweater and dark jeans. I pulled my hair up in a bun and brush my teeth. I grabbed an apple, my bag, and house keys. I walked down the drive way and followed all the kids to the school.

I finally reached the high school's parking lot. Huge arms wrapped themselves around my waist and I screamed.

"Relax. It's just me Seth. I want you to meet my friends," he said.

I turned around to see his huge dopey eyes and killer smile.

"I'm sorry. I have to go get my schedule," I said.

His expression fell, "So you are avoiding me."

"Excuse me?"

"You went to the school yesterday to get you schedule."

"Are you following me?"

"I.. ummm.. yes?" he stuttered.

A huge hand came down on Seth's shoulders and I looked up to see an almost exact copy of Seth, except taller.

"Don't worry about Seth. He is harmless. He only follows girls he likes," the boy smiled. "I am Jake."

"Hello," I said politely. "I'm Jamie, but I really have to leave. Seth, I'm so sorry."

I ran away from the two boys. On my way to the building, boys whistled and hollered. But, they stopped when they heard a low growl. I fastened my pace. I could not hurt Seth.

*********8th period********

"And so class, that is why photosynthesis is different from respiration," Mr. Glassmoker recited from the text book.

I absolutely hate biology. The only thing that made it fun was watching the girls flirt with Seth and find him just staring at me. I smiled to my self. Then, I scolded myself. I couldn't have him. I raised my hand.

"Yes Ms. Lyman," Mr. Glassmoker said.

"May I go to the restroom?" I asked.

He nodded and continued with his lesson. I left the room and headed to the restroom. Then, I realized, I didn't know where it was. I tried to find my way back, but I was lost. That's when I heard it; three short beeps.

A lockdown.

Maybe it is a drill?

"This is not a drill, this is not a drill," the loudspeaker said.

I was lost in a school with a killer on the loose. I ran to the closest room and walked in… it was the boy's locker room. I squished myself in a locker and prayed no one would find me. I heard screaming and crying and gun shots. Then, everything stopped. The loudspeaker came on.

"Hello to the survivors of this disaster. If you give us Jamie Lyman, we will leave peacefully. If not, everyone in this town will die. You have twenty minutes. Good luck," the loudspeaker said.

This was all my fault. Who ever attacked the school wanted me and only me. I had to give myself in. what was on life versus a whole towns?

I squished myself out of the locker and walked down the eerily empty hallway. Then I saw a shadow. I approached it and it was Mr. Glassmoker.

He was all banged up. He had a cut in his forehead, bruises all over and bloodshot eyes. He saw me and took something out of his arms. It was a gag and a rope. Oh my god.

"I am so sorry Jamie. But I have a family here, I cant let you live when so many others will die," he whispered.

I swallowed. "I know. It's okay."

He slowly tied me together and put the gag in my mouth. He then dragged me on the floor. I was crying to myself. My life was over. I could never tell Seth how I felt. Mr. Glassmoker stopped. I saw a figure approaching us. I closed my eyes. I felt Mr. Glassmoker being hit and falling to the floor. I felt warm hands on me

"You stupid girl. Trying to get yourself caught. I need you, you cant leave me," the voice said.

"Seth?" I croaked.

He grabbed me in a bear hug and I felt tears.

"I thought you were gone, Jamie. I need you, please don't ever leave me," he gasped.

"I need you too," I whispered.

"I am getting you out of here," he whispered.

Then, everything went black.

Love, hate? R&R