Chapter 16

I think this fic will be finished within the next three or four chapters. I have a wonderful idea for a new story which I so want to begin to write! Be prepared! :D

Gunter let himself drop into the hot water, until it engulfed his still hurting head. He enjoyed the feeling of his hair floating weightlessly around him and the pleasant warmth before re-emerging from the water. He raised his hands to pull his hair out of his eyes.

Again, he wondered how he could have lost control over his alcohol consume so easily the night before. The tall man at his side hadn't told him a single word about what happened or what he had done last night. Though he was pretending that „nothing, just you being very clingy" happened, Gunter was sure he had done something, he knew Gwendal well enough to notice his unusual, almost strange, behavior.

He was talking to him like he did every other day, but there was something in his voice that made Gunter wonder... he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it had to be a mixture between amusement, caution and subliminal distance. Whenever the raven-haired mazoku looked at him, there was an unfamiliar glance in his eyes, and he had no idea what kind of meaning that should have.

Something definitely had happened last night. If he just could remember...

Maybe it was for the better that he didn't, the white-haired adjutant pondered.

Gunter looked at his friend, who had also sunk deep into the water until it reached his chin, which was now unshaved and covered with stubby, black hair. He looked paler than usual, but nonetheless handsome as always.

Gwendal closed his eyes so he wasn't able to see the other mazoku's glance.

As the counselor still looked bluntly at the general, the latter opened his eyes again, slowly, leaving them half-open in the process. Those piercing blue, way too intense eyes got him kind of flustered, and Gunter quickly turned away, hiding his blushing face, hoping that the steam would cover him.

He wanted nothing more than to ask the dark-haired mazoku again what happened, but he was sure he wouldn't get any different answer than before.

Gwendal finally took the word.

„I think the wedding yesterday went very well, throughout the whole day. You did a excellent job organizing it."

„Thank you," he answered, grateful for the easy topic, „well, we had plenty of time for planning, almost a whole year. The band was a recommendation by a politician of Small Shimaron, in fact. I heard them already when we were invited to a party over there."

The other one nodded in agreement. „They were very good for sure, and the mood for dancing was right. And the wine you selected was also excellent."

Now it was for Gunter to nod and grin. „I know."

The way they could finally chat with each other like always made the white-haired counselor feel easy again. Everything was back to normal, and Gwendal also seemed to behave like he always did. It was a load off his mind.

After sitting and chatting in the smaller bathtub in the corner of the big pool for over half an hour, Gunter felt very refreshed, both physically and mentally. His headache was gone as well.

He sighed relieved, looking at his friend. „I feel way better now. Thank you so much, Gwendal."

„There's nothing to thank me for," the dark-haired general winked and got to his feet to leave the small pond.

Gunter followed him, stepping to the nearby placed towels to wrap one around his wet body. As he took the bottle of water they had taken with them to have another gulp, he noticed how close he was to Gwendal, and... there was this strange feeling again. The adjutant took a deep breath, noticing that unique fragrance of the other one again.

And, suddenly, he felt like that triggered something inside of him. Blurry memories floated into his mind, getting clearer as he focused on various parts.

Me in Gwendal's arms, sucking on his neck. Again, in his arms, in the bed, his finger in my mouth. The hot feeling on my cheeks, caused both by the alcohol and by... the huge arousal. Those filthy thoughts circling through my mind, desire, way too long unsolved desire. Gwendal taking my clothes off...

Wait. That was before. I was sleeping naked.

Gwendal, kissing me back onto my neck... right before unclothing me and drawing me into the bed. Holding me due to his body. His heavy panting at me sucking at his finger like giving him- ...

He screamed inwardly. What the hell had he been thinking? He couldn't believe he had done all this. And then... falling asleep. Nothing more. Nothing more? Well, he was pretty sure of that.

Gunter felt so ashamed. He covered his face in both hands at his embarrassment.

„Gunter? What's up?" he heard his friend say.

Oh, dear Shinou, how should I ever be able to look into his face again.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him softly. Should he tell Gwendal that he remembered it all? Well, that would be just fair, but he also embarrassed himself even more in before the other one. And he embarrassed Gwendal, for though he himself had been the more active part, but the other one wasn't that innocent at all as well.

He shook his head, though he couldn't tell for himself if it was refusal or disbelieve why he did it.

It was just fair. He had to.

Uncovering his face, looking direct into the other one's eyes, Gunter felt paralyzed. By this intense look, by the way how stunningly amazing Gwendal looked. This can't be normal... Do I- do I have a crush on him? He's my friend! For years! Since when do I... that will ruin everything. But now that Yuri is definitely out of reach... Maybe that's just an overreaction.

Those thoughts circled through his mind, confusing him even more, getting him completely off balance. Just like the man in front of him. He could feel his chest tightening as he looked at Gwendal again. His frown was as deep as usual, but his gaze seemed reasonably irritated.

Or I finally realized what would be the better option for me. What would always have been the better option. Maybe I just... suppressed it all the time.

And Gunter was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve.

„Gwendal... It came back to my mind... Everything. I suddenly remembered everything. What happened last night..." his voice broke.

The black-haired man's eyes widened, but he couldn't say if it was shock or... something else.

„I don't know exactly, but I think... I think I have a crush on you."

He looked into those beautiful indigo eyes again, searching for a sign of happiness, of perception, of something that told him that Gwendal would feel the same.

Instead, the general sighed heavily, and the warm hand on his shoulder was gone away too soon as the other one turned around.

For several minutes, there was not a single word spoken between them. Gunter didn't dare to move or speak. The silence lay heavily between them.

Finally, Gwendal turned around again. Though he didn't look into Gunter's face, he seemed nervous and uneasy. „I hate to say this, Gunter, and I hope that you... well, that I don't loose you as a friend, which you are a very dear one to me, but – I'm sorry, I can't return your affection that way. Please forgive me."

The tall mazoku turned around and left the public bath without another glance over his shoulders.

Gunter felt like being slapped in the face. But it was none of that slaps on the left cheek.

Crestfallen and broken-hearted, he sat down on the floor and began to cry.

Gwendal felt guilty. So very guilty.

But how could he? He had to reject his best friend's affection.

Though he couldn't sort out his own feelings, which were still confused by the happenings of last night, of getting aroused so much at Gunter's actions and his undeniable reaction to them. And now being told that the adjutant had a crush on him.

Hadn't he also had a crush on Yuri-heika?

He seemed to get over with it pretty easily after the wedding. Wasn't that just another crush like that one?

I don't want to be just one of Gunter's crushes.

Gunter had always been falling in love quickly.

But he had overcome being in love with Yuri pretty quickly, so it won't be different in my case, the general thought.

Gwendal decided he had just to forget it and keep his distance to Gunter, so the latter would have time to deal with his feelings. It wouldn't last long for sure. He had never wanted to raise the counselor's hopes for the wrong reasons, but he couldn't deny that he obviously had done so last night. But he had been drunk as well, and Shinou knew what his brain was reduced to in that moment.

Maybe, men really were just perverts, like he had been in those very moments. He felt his cheeks getting hot at what he had thought and done. What was he thinking? Now their relationship was all messed up – hopefully, not ruined, but still – and he had to sort that out again.

Another heavy sigh escaped his lips as he reached and entered his room, luckily not seen by anybody.

Gunter's pillow and blanket were still on the bed. The plate with the food still stood on the bedside table, and his clothes still lay on that chair by the window. He would have to order the maidens to clean them and give them back to the other one.

Gwendal closed the door and leaned back at it, still only clothed with that single towel. His head was getting increasingly dizzy as another thought stroke his mind.

If I don't want to be just one of Gunter's crushes, what else do I want to be?

Well, Gunter and Gwendal aren't easy to write, but I consider that very challenging.

Poor Gunter, btw :( Do you want him to get happy, though? Then – you guessed it – review! :)