Summary: What if there had been no Blight when Lilith Cousland joined the ranks of the Grey Wardens. How would she have coped with her new role and what relationships would she have forged when free of the pressure of saving the entire country.
A/N: Oh, I've had such a stressful day today! And quite a stressful week in the lead-up to today, come to think of it. I was hoping to update this story some time last week seeing as it was half term, but, I was busy, busy, busy and just didn't seem to get any time to myself to write. So, I'm gonna start writing now seeing as it's just me and the kitty-cat. Oh, before I forget, the new title is courtesy of "ItSMeAmbeR" who gave me some wonderful suggestions in her review. If there's one thing I hate about writing stories, it coming up with titles, so thanks again. Onwards to the second chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age: Origins or any of its characters (just my Lilith Cousland) and receive no profit from this story.
The ceremony of dinner continued much as it always did on Lilith Cousland's first night with the Grey Wardens. There were plates piled high with, as all but the noblewoman herself would agree, good food and ale and conversation flowed freely, with much of this conversation initially being aimed at the newcomer. The other Wardens asked many questions of the youth, hoping to glean some details about her past from her answers, however, they were met with an impassive brick wall. She, of course, remained perfectly polite and civil, as she had always been taught to do whilst growing up, giving answers that seemed to reveal sufficient information when, in fact, they were mostly just evasions and after a short time passed it became evident to her interrogators that she simply desired to eat her meal in peace, a fact that they attributed to fatigue from her journey.
Being the new recruit, Lilith had been seated between Alistair, in the hopes that she might feel less intimidated by the junior member of the order than any others, and Duncan, with whom she was already well-acquainted from their days of travelling. When not evading the questions posed to her, and in turn the painful memories that they dredged up, she sat quietly at the table, picking through her meal and giving the vast majority of it to her Mabari, who sat faithfully at her side. Now and then, she would take sips from the flagon that had been placed on the table in front of her, immediately scrunching up her nose in disgust at the distasteful liquid that it held. Being brought up as nobility, it was not seen as proper for a young lady to drink such beverages and while her brother, father and any male guests that may have joined them drank heartily at mealtimes, her mother and herself always received a glass of wine to accompany their own repast. Upon taking another sip of her ale, the room went quiet as, unbeknownst to the lady in question, all present watched her intently. A bought of good-natured laughing broke out when, having swallowed the swill, she scowled at the potent liquid as if it had in some way wronged her.
Confused by the sudden outburst of laughter, Lilith finally lifted her gaze from the evil drink and realised for the first time how ridiculous she must look. Upon seeing the warm smiles on the faces of the men around her, she couldn't help but join in their laughter and, after the humbling experience of humiliating herself, she partook in an amicable conversation with her companions.
xXx
After eventually finishing her meal, Lilith stood to excuse herself and retire for the night. However, Duncan, who rose with her and placed his hand gently on her arm, halted her retreat.
"Tomorrow morning," he started, his voice dropped low and his face unusually grave, "you will have to partake of the Joining."
"The Joining?" she asked, worried by his dark countenance and, as she now noticed, that of all the other Wardens in the room.
"It is an ancient ritual that all recruits must undertake if they are to become Grey Wardens," he explained, continuing quickly when he noticed that she was about to interrupt, "I cannot reveal the details of the ritual, however. It has remained a secret to outsiders for generations."
"What do you need of me?" she asked hesitantly, though trying to maintain a steady voice.
"When you rise in the morning, you are not to go to breakfast. Instead you should make your way to the Ceremonial Chamber. I will be there preparing the ritual, but ask any of the others and they will be able to show you way."
She nodded slowly, already feeling nervous about what this 'Joining' could entail. 'Why would they go to such lengths to keep it a secret?' she wondered apprehensively, 'Unless it entails something horrible, like blood magic.' The thought made her shiver unconsciously; she had never seen a mage before, but, like all children, had been told the cautionary tales and had learned of demons and abominations from her lessons with Aldous.
Noticing her obvious discomfort, Duncan dismissed her, assuring the evidently nervous girl that there was no need to worry and instructing her to get a good night's sleep.
Weary as she was from her days of travelling, she imagined she would sleep the moment her head hit the pillow and though it was a marked improvement from resting on the cold earth, she found her mind ablaze with questions and trepidation about the coming day. Nevertheless, the necessity of sleep after the long days since she had left her home eventually overcame her anxiety and she slipped into a deep slumber, once again haunted by that fateful night that had passed just six days previous.
xXx
The sunlight that shone through the bare window managed to illuminate almost all of the relatively small room that was to be Lilith's sanctuary for the foreseeable future. Rolling over with a 'huff', the somewhat disgruntled young noblewoman vaguely wondered how she had forgotten to close the curtains the night before, her eyes immediately shooting wide open as she registered this thought. She took in her surroundings: the bare brick walls, the curtainless window, the plain, moth-eaten blanket that covered her and the somewhat lumpy mattress on which she lay. This was not Highever, this was not her home, but waking up in a room not entirely unlike her own had fooled her for a second and all of the pain that had slowly started to seep away suddenly buffeted her at full force at the realisation that the past week had not been some terrible nightmare. Her family was gone, her home was invaded and today she was to become a Grey Warden by some unknown and doubtlessly awful Joining Ritual.
She slowly edged out of bed, wincing as her bare feet touched the freezing stone floor. Noticing a full basin in the corner of her room, she crept towards it, still feeling somewhat groggy from sleep. However, one splash of the ice-cold water that the basin held washed away all remnants of her sleepy state of mind, making her suddenly very aware of just how cold it was in her room. 'My room,' she thought, absentmindedly as she dried her now soaked face and body, 'I suppose I'll have to get used to a different way of living now.'
Having completely dried off, she surveyed the room properly. It was bright and the dark walls didn't seem nearly as oppressive as they had when she first saw them the night before. During her observation, she noticed the pile of linen tunics and pants that Duncan had bought her during their detour to the Denerim market district. They had managed to find a cloak to hide her identity in one of the smaller villages along the way, however, Duncan affirmed that they would need to do some shopping if she wanted to be able to wear clothes that actually fitted. At first, she had objected, telling him that her appearance was of no import and that she would be willing to wear whatever was available. However, having seen the size of the men that made up the Warden's ranks, she was glad that Duncan had been so insistent. She would have looked like a child had she been forced to walk around in whatever spare garments she could find in the Compound and she certainly didn't need any help in adding to that illusion; she was already small enough for people to make that mistake.
After dressing quickly, she exited her room to make her way downstairs, hoping to bump into someone who would be able to take her where she needed to go. Still, she didn't expect to literally collide with someone much larger, and therefore much steadier, than her the moment she opened the door. From her new position on the floor, seated on her, now, rather sore behind, she looked up to see the man to whom she had first been introduced the previous night, 'Alistair', she reminded herself, looking down on her with an expression that she was sure must have matched her own perfectly.
"Sorry!" he yelped, having regained his senses and pulled her back onto her feet as if she weighed nothing more than a rag doll.
"That's okay," she replied, laughing at the extremely guilty expression he wore and wiping down her newly soiled garments, "I'm sure I'll live."
Alistair flinched at her phrasing, moving out of the way of the door so that she could pass. 'We can only hope so.' He thought, morosely.
"So," she started, turning to look at the blond with a serious expression, but mirth dancing in her eyes, "Care to tell me why you were standing right outside the door to my room? It's a bit odd, don't you think?"
She laughed that same melodious laugh that she had the night before at the sight of his suddenly enflamed cheeks, as he stumbled to explain himself. "Oh, well, it's not what it looks like, I swear. I'm not some pervert or anything." He rushed, trying to come up with something more coherent to say as she just stared quizzically at him, "Duncan! He, err, he sent me to find you. For the Joining, you know?" He finished weakly.
"Oh," she said after a short silence during which he was sure she would accuse him of something deranged, "Alright then. Lead on." She finished, cheerily.
Although she said it, she seemed to have no interest in letting him lead her to their destination and she continued walking ahead of him, unknowingly giving her companion time to ponder. Alistair watched her lithe form as she almost skipped down the corridor, her trepidation from the night before seemingly forgotten. He felt he couldn't quite figure her out: one minute she was glaring daggers at him and the next she was laughing at him without any sort of malice. He was startled from his thoughts as she quietly called his name.
"I wanted to apologise for yesterday," she started, turning to face him and piercing him with her startling, azure eyes, "I must have seemed pretty rude glaring at you the way I did and then just acting like nothing happened during dinner. It's just that, I really wasn't expecting anyone to be there and I certainly wasn't expecting you to be staring at me. I was… startled, that's all, but that's no reason for the way I acted, so, I'm sorry." She blurted out, never taking her gaze from his face.
"That's okay," he replied weakly, feeling slightly baffled by her outburst, "I'm sorry, too. I realise I must have intruded on some private moment. I really didn't mean to."
A wave of sadness seemed to wash over her face before she turned and continued down the corridor. Knowing that there was an upcoming fork in their path, Alistair hurried to catch up so that he could show his companion the way. However, he was unable to stand the somewhat uneasy silence that settled between them.
"It was a beautiful song." He stated absentmindedly, thinking without delay that he might have, once again, said the wrong thing. However, contrary to his expectations, Lilith was smiling when he next looked at her.
"It's an old lullaby," she stated, a faraway look etched into her beautiful eyes, "Mother used to sing it to me every night when I was child."
"Well, here we are." He stated dynamically, pointing out a large, ornately carved door.
"This is the Ceremonial Chamber?" she asked, her apprehension returning ten-fold. The only answer she received was a firm nod, as the current junior member of the Grey Wardens pushed open the heavy door and gestured for her to enter.
Slowly, she made her way into the dark room. She noticed Duncan standing next to a large stone altar and cautiously observed the oversized chalice that stood alone on the tabletop.
"Well then," Duncan started, his countenance dark and his voice grave, "Shall we begin?"
At this signal, Alistair slammed the heavy wooden door back into place, plunging the room further into the gloom that encompassed it.
A/N: Dun dun duuuuun! That ending sort of turned out too sinister, but, oh well, it's all in the name of tension. I was originally going to write the Joining, but, everyone who's played the game knows exactly what it's all about and all I'd really be doing is putting the game's visuals into words, so it doesn't seem worth it. This is also quite a long chapter for me, but I suppose that's because it is just sort of waffly and wordy. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed it. I know that it wasn't particularly eventful, but the next chapters should actually contribute something to the story, so, please don't give up on me. Right then, thanks for reading and please leave a review to tell me what you thought!