Summary: What if there had been no Blight when Lilith Cousland joined the ranks of the Grey Wardens. How would she have coped with her new role and what relationships would she have forged when free of the pressure of saving the entire country.
A/N: Right, I'm finally updating. I can't believe it's been exactly three weeks since the last chapter! I had a bit of difficulty in figuring out how to start this chapter. I knew where it needed to go, but I didn't know how to get there and I still don't like the start. I wrote it, then planned on deleting it, then read it and thought maybe it wasn't so bad, then wanted to delete it again, BUT, I can't come up with anything better, so, it'll just have to do. I promise you the end of the chapter is actually worthwhile, haha. Okey doke, I hope you like this chapter (or the end of it anyway!) and if you spot any typos or anything please tell me, I'm not a very good proof-reader.
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age: Origins or any of its characters (just my Lilith Cousland) and receive no profit from this story.
A week had passed since Duncan had abruptly announced that he was going to scour Ferelden in search of new recruits. However, he gave no certifiable reason for the impromptu decision, simply claiming that the Wardens' numbers in Ferelden were much too few.
Though it had been a largely uneventful seven days, the atmosphere around the compound was less than relaxed. Some of the Wardens had been undeniably on edge since Duncan's departure, fearing that his sudden desire to increase their numbers meant that trouble was on the horizon, though none had any suggestion as to how the Warden-Commander could possibly know such a thing. On the other hand, another portion of the order agreed fully with Duncan's sentiment: the Wardens of the other nations of Ferelden, even in times of peace, could claim to have at least twice as many men at their disposable, and considering their recent success in recruiting one Lilith Cousland, there was no harm in seeing if their lucky streak continued. The rest of the Wardens, however, knew not what to think and simply waited quietly for Duncan to send word.
With Duncan gone, Lilith, being the newest addition to the Warden's ranks, felt like she had somewhat slipped through the cracks. While the other warriors were eager to spar with her and help her with her training, their sessions always seemed to end too soon for the young Noble's liking, as her partner excused himself to take care of his duties. Conversely, the only order she had been issued since Duncan's departure was that she was to stay within the walls. Other than that, it seemed she was free to pass her time however she fancied.
At first, she had rather enjoyed this arrangement. She spent the mornings training, wandered the surprisingly vast gardens after lunch and sometimes retired to the library to read before spending the evening with her fellow Wardens. However, the tedium of her day-to-day life was starting to grow tiresome. Monotony had often been the routine of her day at Highever. The servants, the castle's guards and even her parents insisted constantly that she needn't bother herself with anything. But she had expected things to be different now; as she watched the hard work that the others conducted to keep things running smoothly, she knew she could no longer sit by. She would contribute to the management of the Keep and damn anybody who attempted to stop her.
It was with this newfound conviction that, having removed her armour and donned a more appropriate outfit, she made her way out of her room in search of anybody that she could cajole into giving her some sort of meaningful task to accomplish, her Mabari faithfully trotting after her. As she neared the bottom of the stairs, she eyed a rather short, but nevertheless well built, man heading in her direction. The man had a rather youthful face, even if his features seemed slightly crooked, but his greying hair belied his true age. She could only recall talking to the man once and only for a short time but she couldn't deny that she found something entirely off in his physiognomy,
"Ronin!" she called, moving to intercept the man's path as he neared the stairs.
"What can I do for yeh, lass?" he asked, his thick accent giving the question an unusual intonation.
"I'm bored out of my mind, Ronin!" she complained vehemently, "I demand that I am given something to do. No longer shall I pass my life in utter uselessness." She exclaimed haughtily.
She cut off the slightly baffled man before he could reply, assuming that he would deny her request, though she could see no reason that he should, "Please, Ronin," she whined, seeming much less confident than she had mere moments ago, "You are all always so busy; there must be some way I can help with the workload." She finished, turning pleading eyes up to the older man. However, her blue eyes turned to ice the moment the man started chuckling to himself, all of her ire and frustration beginning to bubble over.
Noting the deadly glares he was receiving, Ronin quickly checked his laughter. "Sorry," he started sheepishly, "'Course we'd love to 'ave some extra help, but Duncan said you'd probably want some time t'settle in before we started demanding things o' you." His lips suddenly curved into a smile again as he added, laughingly, "Nobody wanted to be on the receiving end o' that 'noble indignation' o' yours." He finished, laughing heartily.
"Oh…" she stuttered, turning her head sheepishly from the man's face, embarrassed at her petulant outburst, "That was very considerate of you," she said, graciously, "but it is not necessary. I am a Grey Warden now and I intend to fulfil all of the duties that come with the title, even if it means I have to clean out the chamber pots." She finished with a smile.
"T'won't be necessary," he said, chuckling awkwardly as he was still unused to her sudden changes in demeanour.
"Thank the Maker for that," she replied, genuinely relieved that the man had not taken her seriously, "So, what can I do?" she asked eagerly, bouncing slightly on the spot in anticipation.
"Nothing."
Her jaw fell slack as she registered the word, causing Ronin to laugh raucously, "It's Sunday, lass. We don't do nout on a Sunday. Bu' don't you worry, we'll set you t'work tomorrow." He finished before sidestepping her and continuing on his way.
The long whine issued from her war hound only made Lilith feel even more deflated after making an fool of herself, yet again.
"Even you feel bad for me, don't you, boy?" she asked, as she dropped down next the great beast, taking his massive head between her hands and rubbing his ears. The same gloomy whine was her only response. "At least it was only one man this time and not the whole Order," she said hopefully, to which she received another whine, "I know, even I didn't believe that. These Wardens gossip like old fish wives." She conceded sadly, scratching her Mabari's head once more before standing and making her way to the gardens.
xXx
It was late morning and though summer was dwindling and bad weather was on the horizon, the sun still perched high above the Warden compound, spreading its warming rays across the verdant grass and many wildflowers that surrounded the grand building. However, Alistair failed to take stock of any of this as he entered the gardens in search of Lilith. He wasn't entirely sure why he was trying to find her, as he had nothing of any particular import to say to her. Nevertheless, he felt that they had become friends during the time since her arrival and friends didn't need a reason to seek out other friends. At least, that is what he told himself, for his sanity's sake.
He had only known her a little over a week and first impressions had been less than fantastic, however, he readily admitted that that incident was mostly his fault and he found her faltering apology the next day incredibly endearing. He discovered that he enjoyed her company more than he had enjoyed the company of anyone before and though he had believed his life to be complete when he joined the Wardens, he now couldn't imagine what it had been like when she hadn't been there with her impish smile and quirky sense of humour.
He headed in the direction of the small, walled-off portion of the garden that had been a permanent fixture since a lesser noble donated the estate to the Wardens during the Glory Age. As he passed through the archway and into the garden proper, he was stilled by the sight before him: Lilith stood amongst the luscious flowerbeds, filled with the same exotic variety of colourful flora that annually grew therein, her white linens, milky skin and even lighter hair making her a striking contrast against the deep hues of the blooms. He watched in awe as she spun around to glance at her hound, covering her mouth as delicate laughter bubbled past her lips at the sight of the dog, who was bounding happily through the long blades of grass, snapping his massive jaws at the passing butterflies.
Upon noticing his approach, she turned towards him, lowering her hand from her lips and waving him over. It was only as he neared her position that he noticed the flower that she had evidently threaded through one of the small braids that adorned her ashen hair.
"Lily?" he asked, conversationally, indicating the white blossom. He didn't fail to notice the tension that travelled through her body at the word. She simply hummed in agreement, refusing to meet his eyes.
Feeling slightly awkward and knowing not what else to say, he pressed on, "I've never liked lilies. The Chantry was always full of them when there was due to be a funeral and I've never quite shook the connection."
"Lilies are-" she started, before correcting herself, "were my mother's favourite flower. She used to insist on filling the Castle with them and she always called me her little Lily." She finished quietly, a small wistful smile on her face.
Alistair was stunned; it was the first time she had ever really talked about her life before joining the Wardens and he couldn't help but notice the use of past tense. So deep in contemplation was he that he hadn't noticed when she reached down and plucked a small yellow flower from the ground. He was only disturbed from his reverie when she placed it softly behind his ear, her fingers seeming to linger as they grazed lightly against his cheek and jaw, before retreating back to her side.
"It suits you." She said approvingly, a warm smile on her face. The former Templar could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks, his skin still tingling from her soft touch as he stared into the clear depths of her eyes. Despite the smile that she wore, he could see great sadness in those azure orbs and though it pained him to break the tender moment that had just passed between them, his curiosity was too great to ignore.
"How, exactly, did Duncan recruit you?"
He watched quietly as she seemed to retreat into herself, as she had always done at any mention of her previous life. A myriad of emotions seemed to pass across her face and he could tell that she was waging an inner war against her own demons. What he couldn't know was that she was trying desperately to convince herself that she could trust this man, her fellow Warden, her friend.
Just as he was starting to believe that she would deny his quest for knowledge, she spoke up.
"We… we were betrayed," she started, her voice shaky and hoarse with unshed tears that were already glistening in her eyes. There was a long silence in which she seemed to retreat into herself once more, her breathing deep and steady so that she could maintain some semblance of calm, before she finally turned to face him.
Alistair's heart broke at the sight of the girl in front of him, her face crumpled in pain and silent tears cascading down her cheeks. She looked so small, fragile and he understood how hard it must have been for her to allow herself to show this vulnerability to anyone. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and protect her from anything that would cause her this kind of pain, but he knew that he couldn't, and so he stayed still and silent as she recalled her tale.
"Arl Howe," she began, spitting the name out venomously, "was an old friend of the family. He and my father fought together during the Orlesian occupation and had remained close ever since, so when he arrived at the Castle unannounced, we thought nothing of it.
"I was awoken in the middle of the night to Maximus' barking," she continued, laying her hand upon the dog's head; her hound, as faithful as ever, had come to her side shortly after she had started talking, a sense of concern etched into his canine features, "just before three of Howe's men burst into my room.
"They killed everyone!" she cried, her voice breaking harshly as the tears began to truly fall, "My brother, his wife and my dear little nephew, Oren; Mother's friend, Lady Landra, and her son and lady-in-waiting; Our soldiers and knights; Even Mother Mallol and the sisters in the Chantry.
"Whe-" she started, her words becoming less audible as violent sobs racked though her body, "when we found my Father, he was all but dead. He'd been ran through while waiting for Mother and I to arrive. If we'd only been faster…" she trailed off as she felt strong arms wrap protectively around her torso. Alistair knew what the end of her sentence entailed and he couldn't stand by and listen to her as she blamed herself for her father's death. He thought that perhaps she might have pushed him away, but he was relieved when her small hands clutched frantically at the front of his shirt, her face buried against the fabric.
They remained like that for some time, Lilith's heart-wrenching sobs not lessening any as Alistair rubbed soothing circles across her back in an attempt to comfort her. When, finally, her tears turned only to soft sniffles, she spoke up again, her voice quiet and broken as she stared up into her guardian's amber eyes. With her final revelation, the true reason for her presence with the Wardens was finally made known.
"If it hadn't been for Duncan, I'd have died that night along with my parents. The Maker himself sent Duncan to Highever for a reason and so I swore fealty to his cause."
A/N: Finally finished this chapter! I wasn't originally planning on ending it here, but, I think this is probably a good place to stop and I'll carry on with what would've been the rest of this chapter in the next one. Hopefully it'll work out to two decent-sized chapters instead of one incredibly long one that isn't updated for another three weeks, haha. Dog finally got a name in this chapter, yay! I watched Tangled at the weekend and that's my little homage to it. Other than the excessive amount of singing that I forgot was an integral part of Disney movies, I really love that film! Right then, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please leave a review to tell me what you thought.
Oh! I'm thinking of maybe writing a little companion piece to this chapter. Just a quick one-shot to actually tell, for the purposes of this story, the version of events that transpired on that fateful night. I'm not certain if I will do it, but, if I post it before this story's finished, I'll let you guys know. Okay, thanks again for reading!