I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to update! I really am.

I hope you like it and think it's worth the wait :)

A shiver raked through me as the cold breeze hit hard against my skin. It was late and I couldn't see far behind the first row of trees in the dark forest up ahead. I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting there for on the hard ground but I couldn't bring myself to move and go back inside. I took a deep breath, the fresh air refreshing as it traveled through me.

Since that time I had started to have trouble sleeping. I would toss and turn and generally only garner four or so hours of rest a night. I had come to the conclusion that there wasn't much point spending my restless hours in bed with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling just waiting for my tiredness to claim me. Even tonight, Percy had made me promise to give it an honest shot and I really had. I'd tried for two hours before I decided to get out of bed and walk around the school. I'd walked by Remus' classroom but he wasn't around so after wandering for a while I eventually ended up outside, I'm not really sure why, but I thought that maybe being there would do me some good.

Both my friends and Remus had begun to notice a bit of a change in me. My focus was starting to slip and it was becoming increasingly hard to keep my grades up. When thinking about it I thought that I had held up remarkably well during the span of my Hogwarts career considering most of my waking (and when I put mind to it I decided a lot of my dreams had revolved around it as well) hours since year five were filled with my worrying and stressing myself out over Harry's well-being. I'd been told before, mostly by past boyfriends, that I needed to let go of some of my control but I found that the older Harry got the harder it became to do so. You'd think that my worries would lessen considering he was becoming more and more capable of taking care of himself, but they hadn't.

Twice now, I hadn't been able to protect him this school year. I knew it was ridiculous, thinking that I should have known better and not let my guard down. I know it's silly of me to think that I could always be around him and make sure that nothing bad could ever happen to him. I know that. And I also know there's no point in thinking "what ifs" when Harry wasn't even harmed in the first place. But I still found that my conscience wouldn't let me release any of the guilt that I was feeling because of it.

I shifted in place, hearing a crinkle emit from the pocket of my sweater. I furrowed my brows for a moment before remembering that I'd placed a letter in there earlier in the day.

I hadn't told anyone yet. I knew that I was only a few months from leaving Hogwarts for good but getting a letter from the Ministry seemed to make everything that much more real and scary. It seemed incredibly strange, and for some reason I wasn't sure how to react when I originally read the text scrolled onto the paper earlier in the day:

Miss Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has taken notice of your career at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and, pending the results of your Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests this spring, we are delighted to extend an offer for you to join our highly prestigious Auror training program.

The letter continued on from there, providing me with more details about how and when I needed to accept or decline by, assuming that I did well on my exams. Thinking about it again now made me feel both equally excited as it did terrified. From what I'd heard the training program was extremely intense and often what few candidates had made it in, even less had made it out - so that part was a bit frightening. But when I thought about it, this was something I was extremely interested in doing with my life. I've always known I've been great at Defense, and I've been even better with Remus teaching me, but thinking about a career when you're still 17 is a bit mind-boggling.

Although, Remus had mentioned that my dad had wanted to train to be an Auror, but then the war had happened and he'd put his dreams on hold to work for the Order full time. And then he never got the chance to even try, so another part of me felt that this was something I should do for him. Something to make him proud of me, something to make me feel more connected to him as his daughter. And, mind you, if I were to become an Auror I would have multiple weapons at my back which would make me feel even better about my ability to protect Harry.

I closed my eyes for a few moments, too much thinking driving me crazy, and I began to feel the effects of the late hour. When I opened them, I thought that I had seen a movement in the distance up ahead. I tried to focus, and my eyes made out the outline of an animal. For a moment I was frightened and I wondered how an animal had been able to slip past and make it this close to the castle until I realized that what I was seeing was actually a large, black dog. And then I remembered something. Harry had previously told me about seeing a black dog when we left the Dursleys' and then again in his tea cup earlier in the year during Divination. I'd brushed it off as nothing before but I couldn't stop my mind from coming to the immediate conclusion that it was the Grim.

Don't be an idiot. It's probably a dog that's just wandered here from some home in Hogsmeade. I willed myself to believe it as I watched it slowly make its way toward me.

It seemed timid, something that let me calm down slightly. "Come here, boy." I held out my hand and left it there as it came right up to me. It was dark and its hair was straggly. It looked like it could use a good washing and some more food but he seemed friendly, regardless. It stilled as it sniffed my hand before it looked up at me. "Oh." I was surprised when I noticed that the dog had grey eyes. I'd seen many dogs that had brown or blue eyes, sometimes both, but never gray. I tentatively reached forward and gently placed my hands on the sides of his face and held him still, taking a closer look. I couldn't put my finger on it but something about this dog seemed terribly familiar to me and I found it oddly comforting.

I took in a deep breath and released it from my grasp before it laid down beside me, placing it's head in my lap.

I'm not sure how long the two of us were sitting there for, me petting the top of his head and it breathing steadily, but I found myself getting lost inside my head before I heard the sound of a door opening. The dog jerked it's head up and for a moment I was worried that it might charge at the person but instead it leaped up and ran off back into the darkness and out of sight.

"There you are."

The corners of my mouth turned upwards once I heard his voice. "Thought you'd lost me?"

I heard the sound of his feet connecting with the gravel before he hit the grass, once again causing near-silence. "I wasn't sure where you'd gotten to." He sat down on the cold ground next to me, a slight frost still loomed but the temperature had risen since the dead of winter allowing large portions of the grass to show through.

"Sorry. I just couldn't sleep."

"Thinking too much again?"

I bit my lip and let out a resigned sigh, "you know me. I find it hard not to. Especially lately."

He pulled his legs closer towards his body, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. "Your father was like that too, more-so after his parents died."

"Really?"

"Hmm. It was close to the height of the war. You were so little and he was constantly checking up on you and your mother during the day. He got all of us involved, made us go to your house in the middle of the day. It was ridiculous, really. The three of you were safe at the time and I know Lily found it a bit overbearing."

I smiled and let out a laugh, "did she?"

"Told me so on more than one occasion."

It's hard for me to express just how much getting to know Remus has meant to me. Disregarding the fact that we're together, it's been almost overwhelming to have contact with someone who knew both of my parents so deeply. Every time I'd tried and ask my aunt or uncle about them I'd either get silence or a sarcastic remark in return. It became so hurtful, to know that they had so much information to share yet they refused to dilvuldge anything, I eventually gave up and tried my hardest to forget. I tried to pretend that they hadn't known them at all and they weren't just being cruel to me. It sounds silly when I say it but my feelings will forever be hurt to know that they didn't and don't care to help me ease the pain of losing my parents.

But then there's Remus. He's Remus and he's wonderful and he's kind and he wants to help me feel better about being an orphan and he willingly shares information with me - often without any prompting. I'd had twelve years of wondering and not getting a single answer until quite unexpectedly my new Defense teacher surprises me and makes up for all of the lost time and memories.

He knew everything about what happened to my family. He remembered the day my dad told him, Sirius and Peter about picking the name Hannah. He remembered my grandparents on both sides. He remembered the day that Harry was born. He remembered every little detail about my family going into hiding and everything about that night and everything that happened afterwards. I had spent hours telling him every little piece of information that I could think of about how I'd spent my life since then - how I'd gone to a regular elementary school until I got my Hogwarts letter at age 11, how I almost wasn't allowed to attend Hogwarts until I'd threatened Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon that it didn't matter, that I'd learn all about magic on my own and I'd be a little terror to the neighbourhood unless they let me go. I told him about meeting Percy and how we became best friends and how the Weasleys were the only true family I could really remember. I told him everything. He's the only person in the world that knows certain details about me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I watched as he looked out across the lawn and into the trees. I found myself staring at him, something that I often do, and I suddenly realized that the only time my head is clear is when I'm with him. When I look at him I forget that I'm worried about Harry all the time, I'd just forgotten that I'm under a lot of pressure to perform well on my NEWTs in the hopes that the Ministry keeps their offer to take me on as an Auror, I forget that I've been lying to my friends about where I've been going late at night when I'm really just going to spend time with him and I forget that my godfather just might be trying to kill my little brother and I. I feel calm and clear and safe and for a moment all of my uncertainties don't matter anymore because there's him and he's in front of me and he's amazing and he's all that matters.

"Remus."

My voice nearly cracked as I said his name, whether it was the late hour or my revelation that caused it, I don't know. He looked up at me and released his grasp on his legs, straightening them out on the ground. I took my opportunity and crawled towards him, quickly straddling his hips before he had a chance to object. A startled gasp escaped through his lips and something about the sound made me in desperate need of him, my hips grinding into his on their own volition. "Hannah."

I breathed outward and reached my hands up to cup his face. I paused and I don't know what came over me but for some reason I felt like crying. I shook my head, refusing to let any tears fall from my eyes as I looked into his. "Remus." I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. I pulled back before he had time to respond as I shifted and placed a kiss on his cheek, a kiss on his jaw, his ear, his neck. I wanted to show him how much his care and support means to me because I've always felt like my words are never enough to express the gravity of it. He's Remus Lupin for Christ's sake and he has to know how special he is.

His hands found their way around my waist and the warmth of his skin was felt even beneath my sweater. I closed my eyes for a moment before I rested my forward against his. "Remus. Remus, I love you."

His fingers stopped running along my back and he froze. He sucked in a breath and inched his head back to get a better look at my face. "What did you say?"

"I said 'I love you'."

I shivered again, but this time not from the cold but from the touch of his hands finding their way up my body to my face. He said nothing and it felt like minutes upon minutes had passed where in reality I know it was only a few seconds. The look on his face was indiscernible and I started to grow nervous. "Should I not have -"

"No!" He shook his head and the harshness of his tone almost startled me but I relaxed immediately as a smile formed on his face. "No, you should have... it's just been a very long time since someone's said that to me."

I leaned forward and nudged his nose with my own, forcing him to change his angle so I could kiss his lips. My mouth ghosted upon his, "well that's a crime, Remus, because you're fucking perfect."

His lips crashed onto mine and any intention of delicate kisses had completely gone out the window. His lips were bruising on my own and I couldn't breathe but I didn't want him to stop. His hands danced along my back before he squeezed my ass, pulling me closer towards him. I ground my hips into his as best I could, but I wanted to be closer, the angle not good enough. His hands came in between our bodies and he none-too-gently pushed me off of him, my back landing against the hard ground before his body quickly covered my own. His head darted to the side and he bit down on my neck before running his tongue along the mark.

I couldn't help but let the moan escape at the feel of his tongue as he began to suck, being sure to leave a mark for me to attempt to hide the next morning as to not get any probing questions from my friends. I spread my legs further, wrapping them around his hips and pulling him even closer to me. I wanted moremoremore but it was dark and cold and I couldn't seem to stop my body from grinding up into his, the warmth emitting between us almost being too much to handle in itself.

What began as a hard rhythm was becoming increasingly more frantic, each of us trying to keep up with the other, with his breath a staccato beat in my hear. I was close, and I just needed something, something more to push me over the edge. I reached up and grabbed onto the back of his cardigan and dug my fingernails into his back, desperately wanting him even closer but I knew it wasn't possible.

He moved, slightly, and I felt his lips on the shell of my ear. "I love you."

His admission sent me tumbling and I closed my eyes as he thrust one, two, three more times into me before he fell, both of us un-moving as we tried to catch our breath.

He sat up slightly as my hands fell from his back and I placed them on the sides of his face and smiled, "perfect."