"Nicholas, what is going on? Do you know this girl?" Schmidt asked crossing his hand over his chest.
Everyone in the loft had their full attention on him, including Jess, the girl he had only just hooked up with a half hour before, which he still found to be extremely weird and awkward.
Nick scoffed loudly and did his best turtle face. "No. Why would you say that? I just meet her Schmidt."
"You too seem a little too friendly for people that just met. Plus, you're acting weird."
"How did you know each other's name?" Winston asked suspiciously.
Great, not Winston too! Nick thought sighing heavily. He never was a good liar. It always showed. Soon enough his story will start to have holes in it where he can't remember everything that he had said and then the sweating would start…
"I thought I heard you guys say it earlier today. Remember when I was leaving for work and you said 'don't be late, we are interviewing a girl called Jess at one today'."
"Who said that?" Schmidt snapped quickly.
"You did buddy, remember?" Nick said laughing nervously and squeezing his friend's shoulder a little hard to inflict some kind of pain.
"I don't remember saying that at all. Nick, are you lying to me?"
"What? No! I told you, I just met her now."
Schmidt jumped off the edge of the sofa and walked up to Nick quickly. "Let me see your back."
"No, Schmidt." Nick said walking in the opposite direction when he had figured out what his was going to do next.
"Nick, stop moving, I want to see your back."
"Not in front of our guest, Schmidt." He said half-yelling. "Can you please just grow up for once?"
But it was too late. Schmidt had cornered him against the fridge and he had nowhere to go. With one quick movement, that made Nick feel extremely vulnerable and violated at the same time, Schmidt stuck his hand under the small of Nick's back. It was only there for a second, but that was long enough to prove his point.
"Disgusting! It's saturated!" he said wiping his moist hand on the nearest hand towel he could find. "You are the worst liar in the world, sweat-back! So why don't you tell us the truth?"
"What's going on?" Jess asked Winston from the couch.
"Uh, Nick sort of has this thing whenever he is lying…he gets really sweaty and clammy."
"Oh." Jess said quietly.
"So, how do you know Nick?" Winston asked her.
Something told her that he too was not buying the lie that Nick had said before.
Jess thought of her own little lie to say. These were complete strangers, they would never be able to read her as well as they did Nick, seeing that she had only just met them. But nothing believable came to mind.
"Look, I really don't care how you two know each other." Coach said almost yelling loudly and making Jess jump a little out of her skin. "I have to be back at work in twenty minutes, so can we just do this interview?"
"Yes, that's an excellent idea Coach!" Nick said agreeing with his friend and taking a spot in the couch to face Jess.
"I'm not buying any of this Nick," Schmidt said quickly making all of them groan loudly. "But for the purpose of time, yes, we can get back to our interview for now. You and I, however…" he said pointing to Nick. "…are not through with this conversation."
"So, Jess…" Nick said changing the subject. "Tell us a little about yourself."
"She already did!" Coach yelled impatiently. "She told us when we were waiting for you! You were half an hour late, Nick! She's a teacher. She sings a lot. She was dumped and can't live with her best friend anymore. Moving on…"
"Anything else?" Nick asked, picking up on a little of Jess' uncomfortableness.
Coach was the most impatient person in the history of the world, and to his friends who knew him well enough; they had come to know that it was only a part of his personality. To a stranger like Jess however, it could be a little intimidating. He would have to speak to her about him later.
"I'm clean. I can cook. I find housework relaxing and I enjoy it."
"That's okay, we actually already have a loft maid." Nick said nodding towards Schmidt. "He is very domesticated."
"Somebody has to be, in order to clean up after your mess, Nick." He said snapping defensively. "So are you one of those girls that says that she likes cleaning, but is lying? Because I just need to know from know if you are messy. I can't look after another full grown adult. Nicholas is bad enough. Seriously, this guy would have no clean clothes if it weren't for me always doing his laundry!"
Nick felt like he had just taken a hard punch to the gut.
Way to go, Schmidt, he thought angrily, nice way to put him down in front of the girl he happened to like.
"I actually love cleaning." She said honestly. "I'm more than happy to look after my own clothes, so there is no need for you to have to do any of them. And as far as cooking or cleaning the kitchen, bathroom or loft goes…is there like a schedule where one person does it one week? Or do you have allocated chores?"
"You're kidding me, right?" Schmidt scoffed loudly. "Didn't you hear, Nick before? No one cleans here. I'm practically the loft maid!"
"Well that doesn't seem very fair to you. I'm sure that you could benefit from having some help, right?"
Schmidt nodded dramatically and looked in the direction of his other roommates, to see if they were taking any of this in. The other three just rolled their eyes quickly, dismissing their drama queen friend.
"Moving on…" Coach said, getting everyone's attention again. "How are you with bringing home people?"
"What do you mean?" she asked a little confused.
"I mean, are you one of those girls that have a hundred different types of brainless friends that are always going to be walking in and out of our loft? Or do you keep to yourself?"
"I have friends but most of the time we are too busy to see each other. We all work conflicting schedules, so we can only meet up on special occasions. But my best friend, Cece, the one that I have been crashing at her place…she's a model and she's the only person I really see like every day."
"I'm sorry, she's a model?" Schmidt asked quickly. "Do you have a photo of her?"
"Yeah, I have tonnes on my phone, why?"
"Never mind him. He is just being a perve." Nick said, encouraging Jess to put her phone away.
"What about boyfriends?" Coach asked. "Will you be bringing them into the loft when you start dating again?"
"That would be my intention, unless there's some kind of rule that says that we are not allowed. " She said, frowning a little. "Why? Are we not allowed to bring anyone back?"
"No you are. But I am just trying to prepare myself in the evident that you are one of those girls that changes boyfriends like they are underwear. I really hate meeting new people! So if you intend on bringing home different men, please spare me the trouble of having to meet them. I don't need to be introduced to someone that will not be in the picture for long."
"Hey!" Jess exclaimed loudly. "I don't know what gave you the impression that I am some kind of… floozy! But I assure you that I am not like that at all."
'Good." Coach said snapping loudly. "Now, I know we briefly touched on it before, but Nick was not here. So I will say it again. Our roommate agreement clearly states that if you are our successful candidate that you are not to sleep with any of the guys in this loft. Is that clear?"
Jess swallowed a little hard and briefly looked up at Nick for a spilt second. He quickly turned his eyes down to the ground.
"Do you understand, Jess?" Coach asked impatiently.
"Yes." She mumbled quietly.
"Good, because if we decide on you later. You too will have to sign the agreement and Jess; the terms are different for you. If you happen to sleep with any of the men in this loft, you will be evicted immediately. We cannot have a hostile loft. We are not going to pick sides, so please save us any trouble and find men elsewhere. "
"I know it must be so hard for you right now, given the current emotionally state that you are in." Schmidt said, trying to sympathise with her. "But it's for the best."
"So there is just one last thing to discuss…"Winston said. "We all share expenses here. Food, electricity, bills…so are you alright with chipping in weekly, like the rest of us or would you rather we change our agreement for once a fortnight?"
'Weekly is fine."
"Great. Well, I think that's it." he said smiling.
"So did I get it?" Jess squeaked excitedly.
"Actually, we need to take a vote." Schmidt said quickly. "Gentlemen, let's go to the bathroom."
"Can't we just do it here?" Nick asked scrunching up his face.
"So she can see?" he sneered, rolling his eyes quickly. "No, Nicholas. Let's go. Jess, we will be right back…this won't take long."
"Okay," she said stretching her arms put in front of her. "Please vote yes guys." She called out after them sweetly.
"Well, it's obviously a yes from me." Schmidt said when they had all gotten inside the bathroom and closed the door.
Nick rolled his eyes at his lame friend. He knew the moment the word model was mentioned that it was always going to be a yes.
"She seems nice enough, so it's a yes from me too." Winston said smiling.
"No." Coach said loudly.
"What?" Schmidt and Winston said in unison.
"I don't like her…she's too happy. Plus she said that she likes singing a lot. I hate people who sing, hum and whistle!"
"Well it comes down to you Nicholas," Schmidt said stating the obvious. "If you say no, then we will have a tie and then we will more than likely have to keep considering other candidates."
"I don't know guys…" he said trailing off quickly.
He was in two minds about this whole thing. A part of him wanted to say yes. That way he got to see her more often. She had really, in such a short time, infatuated him and the more dominant part of him wanted to spend more time getting to know the mysterious girl. But on the other hand, he knew that her living under his roof would more than likely mean the end of their situation. Jess would be forced to sign the roommate agreement and that would mean that they were never to have sex again. He wasn't sure what he wanted more.
"Come on, Nick!" Coached yelled, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Please don't make me decide this now. Can I have some more time to think about it?" he asked, starting to feel extremely nervous and sweaty.
"No! You need to decide now! Make a decision…yes or no. It's not that hard!" he said continuing to yell.
'Stop pressuring me." He said putting his hoodie over his head and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Nice going, Coach! Now you freaked him out." Schmidt said rolling his eyes.
"NICK, YOU'RE WEAK!"
"Come on Nick, she doesn't seem that bad." Winston said trying to persuade his friend. "Do you remember the girl that we interviewed before Jess? She that she was in-between jobs and that she would need to go with the flow until she found her way in life! You don't want someone like that, do you?"
He shook his head quickly to say no.
"Or what about the other girl? The one with the bad acne and dandruff snowflakes, Nick?" Schmidt asked. "I'm still extremely scarred to sit on our couch, despite thoroughly scrubbing it."
"COME ON NICK!"
The truth was, he knew that he wasn't going to find someone better than Jess. The go with the flow girl, was a lost cause; she was looking for an easy ride. Somewhere to crash because she had just broken up with her loser boyfriend. Nick had gotten the feeling that she had no intention of ever paying rent, until she had found her next victim to date. He really did not like her one bit.
Dandruff girl, was slightly better, but she too made him feel extremely uncomfortable to be around. Nick was not the cleanest person alive, but he showered every second day. She obviously showered one a week, based on the condition of her face and hair; and that honestly disgusted him a bit.
The girl before them was the biggest prude. She was super religious despite claiming to have left her sect of a religion. She was still trying her best to adapt and break away from their traditions about men and women living together without being married. Nick had the feeling that she would bring out the Bible whenever she was faced with a conflicting situation and he honestly did not want to be on his best behaviour around someone like that. Not to mention, the lectures he would surely receive from the good book whenever he brought a different girl home. He had said no to her easily.
"NICK, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" Coach yelled.
Just go with your gut, Nick.
Jess is a lovely girl, but can you really see anything more than a fling with her? He thought to himself.
It was a classic head versus penis scenario. His head knew that realistically they were doomed from the start. Jess was just coming out of a really long relationship. She was vulnerable and confused. He was more than likely going to be her rebound guy, whether they liked it or not. And over the years of working in a bar, he had learnt that rebounds never last. So a part of him knew that he should just say yes, and give the poor girl a place to stay.
They had one fun day together, that would be enough, right? It wasn't like he had feelings for her or anything!
But his penis did not give up that easily. The truth was, he kind of liked her a lot. She was very different from the other girls that he had been with before. There was something about her that drew him towards her. He wanted to see where they would go from here. He wanted to sleep with her again, because she had just given him the best sex of his life and he was not ready to let that go.
"NICK!"
Nick closed his eyes and thought of Jess quickly. He pictured her sitting on the couch in the living room, lonely and alone. He pictured the way that he had found her in the morning. Eyes bloodshot red…desperate and hopeless..
He sighed heavily. He couldn't disappoint her again. She really needed a place to stay and that should be enough reason to at least put one good thing in her life in order for her.
"Yes." He said, his voice hoarse and just above a whisper.
"FINALLY!"
"Hallelujah!" Schmidt cried out, kissing him on the lips quickly.
"I really hate when you do that, Schmidt!" he said angrily, wiping his lips.
"Let's go and tell her." Winston said opening the bathroom door.
xooxo
"So, it's a yes?!" Jess said excitedly when they had just broken the news to her.
Nick nodded solemnly. He was still not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Jess said flinging her arms around Schmidt and Winston quickly, before running to do the same to Coach and then Nick.
"I don't like hugs, so in future, don't ever do that to me again." Coach said quickly.
"Got it." she said winking at him playfully.
She had no idea that he was being serious.
"So when can I move in? Is the room available?"
"You can move in whenever." Schmidt said.
"Great, I'll do it today. Most of my stuff is in the car and the rest is at Cece's."
"You still need to show me that photo." He said reminding her.
"I'll do one better, Schmidt. I'll invite her over tonight." She said smiling. "That way she can meet you all."
"Fantastic." Coach said sarcastically. "I'm going back to work now. See you guys tonight."
"Bye, Coach!" Jess called out after him. "It was nice to meet you! Thank you for saying yes."
They all figured that it was best that she didn't know that he had voted against her.
"Well, Winstonian are you heading back to the Station? Do you want me to give you a lift on my way to work? I have to get back; I have a meeting with Japan at two-thirty."
"Yeah, let's go." Winston said. "It was nice to meet you, Jess. Welcome to the loft."
"Yes, welcome Jess." Schmidt said holding open the door for Winston, "Don't forget to invite your friend tonight, okay? See you later."
And with that they were both gone. Nick sighed heavily. How did he get stuck being with Jess when everyone else had already left? He should have left first! He thought mentally kicking himself in the head for being so stupid. Now this was going to be very awkward….
"Is he…gay?" Jess asked, breaking the awkward silence first.
"Who? Schmidt?" he asked laughing. "No."
"But he seems…very-"
"-Metrosexual?" Nick asked finishing her sentence.
"Yes."
"That's because he is. Oddly enough he's not gay. Don't be fooled by how clean, organised and domesticated he is…he's very much into women. You will see that when you move in. He has a different girl almost every night."
"Oh." She said quietly.
Another awkward silence fell over them again.
"Winston seems nice." She said, being the one to break it again.
"He is." Nick said nodding in agreement. "He is a great guy."
He wasn't really sure what to say now. He was never really good at small talk.
"Does Coach hate me or something? He kept yelling at me." She asked in a quirky voice.
"He yells at everyone. Don't take it personally."
"Okay, because I was worried that he was going to say no."
Nick didn't have the heart to tell her that he did. The last thing he wanted was for her to be reading too much into Coach not liking her. He didn't see the need to complicate things. In time she would get to know Coach and all the aspects of his impatient and yelling personality.
He looked at his watch. He really needed to be getting back to the bar now. Nate would be starting to get worried.
"So about before…"
"Jess, I uh, have to go back to the bar." Nick said quickly cutting her off. "Can we talk later?"
"Sure." She said nodding, tying her best to cover up her disappointment.
"Here are your keys." He said passing her a set that was on the bench counter.
"Schmidt said that I would need to leave the first two months deposit with him before I got them." She said reaching into her bag for an envelope. "So, I'll, uh just give this to you then, right?"
"Thanks, I'll give that to him later. He handles all the bills and expenses. We all just give him our share."
"Okay," Jess said nodding.
"So, do you want a quick tour?" Nick asked, feeling a little slack to just leave her in an empty, unfamiliar loft by herself.
"Sure, if you have time."
"Kitchen and livingroom you've already seen. This room is Schmidt's." Nick said walking her quickly into Schmidt's room.
"Wow, he's so neat."
"The room next door is Winston's." he said quickly weaving out of Schmidt's and heading into the next room. "Last room down the hall, is Coach's. I would show you his room, but he freaks out. Maybe he will show you himself one day. Bathroom," he said pointing to the room. "We only have one toilet and shower in this whole place, so we tend not to look the door when we shower. There's a thick curtain as you can tell, so nobody can see you when you're in there and we keep it take way in case someone needs to use the toilet."
Jess scrunched up her face quickly. Nick could tell that she was not too impressed with their arrangement.
"Look, I'll talk the guys into letting you lock the door while you shower. If you take quick ones, I'm sure that they can hold it in."
"Thanks."
"Also, in case you ever want to use the toilet while one of us is showering, you can't flush the toilet, because the water becomes freezing cold. The pipping is really bad in here, but we get by."
"That's not going to be a problem. I don't ever intend on using the toilet while one of you guys are in there. I can just wait, I'm good at holding it in."
Nick laughed loudly. "You say that now, but be warned Schmidt takes extremely long showers. That guy exfoliates! I tell you, he is worse than a girl!"
"Are you sure that he is not gay?"
"Bring your model friend over tonight and test that theory," Nick said exiting the bathroom. "This is your room. It's the biggest room of the house, I really hope you like it."
"Nick, its perfect." Jess said walking in and taking in the whole room. "I love it. The big windows are beautiful. Do they open?"
"They do and you can climb out of them, which I do not advise."
Jess shot Nick a quick look.
"Long story." He mumbled. "The room directly opposite yours is mine." He said pointing to his closed door. "And that's the loft. Welcome, I hope you feel at home."
"You're not going to show me your room?" she asked, sounding disappointed.
"It's a mess." He said lying a little. "I'll show you it another time. I really should be getting back to the bar. What are you going to do now?"
"Move my stuff in." she said sighing heavily and walking around the room a little.
"Do you need help with your stuff?" Nick asked feeling the need to offer help, to appear like somewhat of a gentleman.
"That's nice of you. But you have work. I can do it myself. Thanks anyway, Nick."
"How about you move the things that you can lift and when I get home, I'll help you with the rest? I should be finished by four today."
"That sounds great." She said smiling. "Thanks."
xoxo