I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Brooke took small steps from Haley's car to Lucas's door. She was really nervous to see him after everything. She didn't know if she felt relief that Haley told her that he cared so much or fear because of that. She hadn't cared as much for anyone as she did for Lucas in the short period of time that she has known him. She hadn't admitted that to Haley or anyone else and it was something that she probably wouldn't voice. When she got to the door she glanced back at Haley pulling out of the driveway. It looked dark in the house and she wasn't even sure if he was there. Haley had said that he went to the house earlier so maybe he went back. She took a deep breath and was about to knock when the door opened.
Lucas looked almost stunned to see Brooke on the other side of the door. He had been sitting in the dark on the couch clutching his phone. He didn't think Brooke would come over but he was waiting patiently for his phone to ring. He had seen headlights pull into the driveway and he thought he heard a door close. When he saw the headlights start to backout he decided to check it out. When he opened the door and saw Brooke on the other side he felt a wave of emotions. He felt happiness, relief, anger, and sadness wash over him. She looked almost the same and he wasn't sure how to begin the conversation. He just opened the door and moved aside so she could enter. When she walked past him he grabbed her hand as he closed the door. He held her hand as he walked into the livingroom and flicked on the light, sitting with her on the couch.
Brooke glanced around the livingroom trying to avoid his gaze. It ended up landing on the smashed glass frame in the corner. She knew Lucas was watching her intently, but she didn't want to be the first to break the silence. She felt him squeeze her hand lightly and brush his thumb along the inside of her hand.
"Brooke," he whispered and she finally looked up and met his gaze. She gave him a small smile encouraging him to continue.
"I know you think that I still have something going on with her, but I don't. I swear I only talked to her to tell her to not contact me anymore."
Brooke finally removed her hand from his and stood from the couch. She walked over to the broken glass and picked up the picture and studied it for a moment. "You still care for her," she said softly.
"I don't love her. I can…." He started but was cut off by Brooke as she sat next to him once again.
"But you care for her," she said and looked into his eyes.
Lucas sighed heavily and put his head in his hands for a moment. "Do you not care about Jake," he asked instead of answering her question.
She placed the picture on the table in front of him and contemplated her answer for a moment. "No, Lucas I don't. He hurt me too much for me to still care for him. When I see him all I can remember is the hurt he caused me, not the good times or the love we once shared. Will he always be a part of my past? Yes, but that is all. He's like a stranger in passing now, not someone I care about. So there is my answer. What is yours?"
"Lucas looked up at Brooke and took her hand in his once more. "I swear to you that I don't love her and I do not want to be with her. Yes, I care about her because we shared so many years together, but that is it. I don't wish bad things for her, but a part of me hates her. I can promise you that you are all I want anymore though," he said as he tried to pull her closer, but she didn't move.
"Then why not tell me you had contact with her? What are we Luke? Are we together, or are we friends that spend a lot of time together and frequently kiss? I just want to know where we stand before I leave here tonight," she said softly as she played with his fingers that were intertwined with hers.
"What do you want us to be? What do you want from me? I know I'd like to be with you, but I'm putting the ball in your court," he said as he locked his deep blue eyes with hers.
"I want to be with you Luke, I do, but I can't do it if you can't be honest with me. I need to know that you won't keep things from me or lie to me," she said without breaking the intense gaze with him.
"Then we are together. I won't keep things from you, but I can't promise that you will like everything you find out. I can't promise that my lifestyle will be easy for you," he said as he watched her bite her bottom lip and then nod. "I have a condition as well Brooke. No more keeping this a secret. If you want to be with me, you need to be with me. I want to be able to go out and do things that other couples do and not pretend that we aren't together. I need you to give me that otherwise this won't work."
"Lucas…." She said and sighed. He knew she was going to protest, but he was going to stand his ground.
"No Brooke. It's all or nothing. Take it or leave it," he said firmly, but panicking on the inside. He was hoping this ultimatum wasn't going to blow up in his face because he needed her, he wanted her.
He watched her go back in forth in her head for a few moments. He knew she had a battle going on, but eventually she looked up and nodded her head at him and said 'Ok.'
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
As soon as the words left her mouth he kissed her. It wasn't a lustful kiss or a desperate kiss. It was just a nice slow kiss as they leaned back into the couch and Brooke fell more into his body. Lucas could not help but to smile everytime they gave eachother small kisses. He was happy. He hadn't even had to fight with her, just be honest and she didn't run. He so badly wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he knew that if he did that she would run. She had just agreed to go public with him so he didn't want to push too much in one night.
Lucas turned on the fireplace and they just laid together on the couch. He felt tired but he didn't want to fall asleep. He wanted to just stay up all night with her and talk. He felt her sigh heavily as she laid her head against his chest.
He ran his hand through her hair as he spoke to her. "What's wrong pretty girl?"
"I'm tired Luke, but I don't want to fall asleep."
He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her body against his. "Sleep pretty girl. I'll be here in the morning, just rest," he said as he rubbed his fingertips up and down her back as he felt her breath even out and she fell asleep.
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
Okay so I wanted to get up another chapter since it took me so long to UD. I thought I'd give you guys something more! Next chapter I will have some obstacles coming up and it will be a little more action. Hope that is okay with all of you. I'll try to have the next UD by the end of the week :) I know this one was short and mostly fluff, but I wanted to give you guys some Brucas and background on feelings for future chapters! The song I used is another from the Vampire Diaries. It's Cut by Plumb and I love it! Plus my music seems to keep me motivated!