"I'm not sure I want to relate that tale." Jack said, his hands gesturing as usual.
"Come now Jack," Will said. "If you don't tell it, there's no reason for this bottle of rum, and if there's no need for it, I may as well just give it to our mutual goddess friend, hmm?" As he spoke, Will waved about the bottle he'd pulled from somewhere, and Jack's eyes followed it like a cat as his fingers twitched.
"I'm feeling much more loquacious." Will handed over the bottle and Jack snatched it, his eyes narrowing. "You've been taking lessons from Lizzie."
"With good reason." Jack grunted, mistrustful.
With Jack now prepared to relate the tale, tall as it would inevitably be, seats were conjured or transfigured, drinks were passed around, as were various finger foods, and everyone, even Jack the Monkey and the Augrey (who had been mid epic-chase) settled in for story-time.
"After failin' to lose Barbossa in Shipwreck Cove after the battle, we went to Tortuga, where the-" Will, remembering well the names Jack had for Hector, cleared his throat, to remind Jack of the younger members of the audience. "Thief stole my ship again." He ran his hand lovingly over the stair he was sitting on. "Unfortunately for him, I'd taken the circles from the charts. So I left Gibbs happy with the rum and women on Tortuga, took the dinghy, and made my way to the little island I'd last been on with your bonnie lass," he nodded at Will, "an' set about studying and making copies of the charts, before headin' off to collect Gibbs from London and going after the Fountain of Youth.
That all went just as wrong as my attempt wiv Jones, so I gave up on livin' forever. Barbossa had the Queen Ann's Revenge and the Pearl was in a bottle. Fortunately I happened to be in good standing wiv the mermaids, and they helped restore the Pearl and take us back to me island. We then picked up one of the copies of the charts, picked up a crew in Tortuga, and did some honest pirating.
Found Marty and Cotton set up with families in a little port on Dominica, turns out they'd been marooned after being heard voicing concern for me. Guess 'e learned 'is lesson after you, Bill. So I left Gibbs there and sailed off again.
Five years later the Pearl was in dock for repairs and I end up back in Port Royal. I swear to you, that port has it in for women in that fort when I'm around. After pulling her from the drink and having the required talk, irons, hostage and chase about the town courtesy of the newly minted Commodore Gillette, where should I end up but drunk old Mr Brown's smithy, complete wiv passed out old lush. Remembering last time, I tied 'im up then got out of me chains, and true to form, the new William walked in. We followed the steps and I end up back in the prison, with the new dog no more likely to move than the old.
That night, in sails Barbossa wiv the old curse on him again, and starts blowing the place to pieces. Isla de Muerta had risen again the year before, and thinking to be clever he took the Aztec gold so's he could take on the East India Trading Company with no risks. One of his crew developed a conscience, and sent off a piece to England. The ship it was on got destroyed, one deckhand survived and got pulled aboard the Dauntless, where the new Govenor's daughter took care of him and confiscated the medallion he carried.
She got taken, he got ignored, broke me out, we commandeered the new Interceptor, went to Tortuga, got slapped, gave the ship to Anamaria, picked up the Pearl and crew, saved her, shot Barbossa and finished the year with a new ship and two new friends.
Having met my fair share of immortals and other magical beings, I knew there was something not quite right about those two, but as I had come out of that venture distinctly better off than last time, I chose not to question it. I didn't need to.
Two months after telling me they didn't want to go back to Port Royal and asking if they could join me crew, they take me to me cabin and tell me their names are really Nicholas and Perenelle, and they are 300 or so years old." Hermione couldn't hold it in.
"Surely you don't mean the Flamels?" Jack grinned.
"Ah, you know them! Lovely pair, really." Hermione and Harry's expressions had darkened, knowing Jack's old friends were now dead, but Jack had gotten lost in the tale again.
"So, they tell me they're immortal thanks to a rock Nicky had made, and since they owed me life debts and I seemed a decent sort, pirate or not, did I want in? Well of course I bloody did! Three weeks and a trip to me island later, I was the Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow, and here I am."
"So why did the Pearl end up in storage for over a century then?" Asked Will.
"As much as I would have loved to have sailed her around the seas forever, I had to be thought dead, and what better way than to stage the sinking of the Pearl, this time without betrayals and terrible beasties. I had a second reason for leaving her in the goblins impeccable care.
After years of sailing with me, the Flamels cornered me with what they thought were several bombshells.
First, magic was real. I'd become friends with them while dealing with cursed undead skeleton pirates, and it wasn't the first time I'd done it, I'd met gods, mermaids and other mythical sea creatures, had relations with goddesses bound in human form, been to Davey Jones' Locker and back and seen the Fountain of Youth amongst other magical items in action, of course magic was real.
Second, they had magic and could use it through certain sticks they called 'wands'. They and I were immortal through a magical rock Nicky had made. Spells through sticks were not that surprising really.
Third, they thought I might be magical too, and that's why my mad plans usually worked. This made me pause. I'd known about the magical world since I was a whelp. Bartered and traded with some magicals, plundered from some, had affairs with others, but never had one caught on that I might be magical meself. Now I had a dilemma. Did I tell 'em the truth, and hope they keep mum, or did I go the old pirate route of 'Dead men tell no tales'? Figuring they'd trusted me to keep the stone quiet, I trusted them. Told 'em I knew I was, that me grandad was a Black that got kicked out for not having enough magic to go to their fancy school. I'd decided as a whelp that the sea had always been there for my family more than any fancy rich family and drafty old school in Scotland, so I'd sail the sea and make me own riches, and any magic could do what it wanted.
They told me they were thinking of changing identities and go and explore what is now Australia, and that if I wanted I could go with them and they would teach me magic with a wand. The Golden Age of Piracy was ending, Cotton had died and Gibbs was on his way out with his family round him, so I figured why not. Paid off the crew, gave the Revenge to my First Mate, put all my stuff in storage and left Captain Jack Sparrow behind until I felt it was time to come back. I've just left the Massai after growin' me hair back.
Now, have I told enough of me story, or do you want it all in one go?"
The last sentence broke everyone out of their trances. Goodbyes were said and promises to visit again soon were given. Presents and children were gathered, and the guests made their way to the apparition point then home. Hermione spoke with Harry, then sent Ron back to the Burrow on his own, having decided to stay a few days.