Parallax 2.05

Jamie retreated into the guest room Sunny had made available to her. She wasn't rude about it—she didn't storm off or make a fuss, slamming doors as she passed them. Instead, I watched as she had quietly asked Sunny if she could be excused to her room. When Sunny had asked if she was feeling well, Jamie had simply stated her desire for solitude. Pretty much in those exact words, too.

Jamie's time here was limited. Whatever charity Sunny and Karen had felt towards her and her situation, it didn't extend far enough to include permanent residency. I didn't need to be in her head to know that she had not taken the news well. Still, I couldn't blame them; from what I could tell, they had been at this for quite some time and asking them to make an exception for us would limit their ability to aid future individuals in need.

Jamie probably understood this as well. As much as she might have wanted to complain and rant about her upcoming eviction, she also knew that she'd received much more than she had any right to expect from a pair of strangers. The two ideas were at odds within her head, a pair of conflicting impulses to deny her situation or to accept it and try to make something from it. From the way Sunny's eyes followed her as she made her way to her room, I suspected she understood just what sort of bombshell she had dropped on the girl. She stayed behind in the main room, giving Jamie the space she'd need to think her way through the problem.

I might have done the same on my own, but Jamie had taken that choice away from me. She was keeping herself closed off from the link, unwilling or unable to allow our thoughts to mingle. Even if she'd been acting as bright and chipper as she had earlier in the week, that alone would have been enough to send up warning flags in my head.

The moment the door was closed, Jamie rolled over to the bed and tipped herself forward to sprawl across the covers. I left the wheelchair to hover in place above her, but that was the most I could do. I considered speaking out, but paused as I realised I had nothing I could say to instantly make this better for her.

"I'm not going to ask if you're okay, because we both know that you're not." That didn't mean I wouldn't try, however.

Jamie remained still and silent, not responding to my presence or my words.

"I'm not going to pretend I know exactly what you're going through," I continued. "But at the same time, I'm probably the closest you'll ever get to someone like that. Let it out."

I felt a faint flicker in the link, like a soft whisper. Barely a moment had passed before it snapped itself closed once more.

"Jamie... "

"I don't want to talk about it, not right now," she said. She finally rolled over onto her back, settling against the pillows. "I think, right now, I just want to pass out and pretend the last few hours never happened."

"Um... " I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. "Did you want me to try to keep you company?"

She cracked one eye open to stare at me for a few moments, then closed it, turning her face away. "Thanks, but I'm not going anywhere. Feel free to amuse yourself somehow."

I frowned as I stared down at her. It was slightly disturbing for me to realise that I didn't know how to read her body language or more subtle expressions. Without being able to draw on the link I had no clue as to her intentions and it was discomforting to find out I might not know Jamie as well as I should.

She opened one eye again. "You're still here?" she asked. "Skedaddle."

ooo

The room we had been given was utilitarian. It had a bed, a nightstand, a desk, and a medium-sized footlocker. It was comfortable, but impersonal... and when you got right down to it, it was rather dull.

I tried to tell myself that was the only reason I had decided to relocate myself to Karen's room. It was more interesting, more vibrant. There were lots of things for me to pull down from her shelves to read.

Despite the possible distractions, my thoughts remained wholly focused on Jamie. Or rather, what Jamie had chosen to do. She had seemed to be zoning out at random intervals during the past few days, but it was rare for her to fall asleep and leave me here. The only other time I could recall this happening was the day we had broken back into the hospital.

Another memory rose to the forefront of my consciousness—the night immediately afterwards where she had revealed to me her ability to control which body or avatar she could place herself into. At the time the information we had uncovered had grabbed more of my attention than her little revelation, but now that I had thought about it I suddenly realised this was a huge aspect of our abilities.

The first thing that came to mind was that neither of us could be 'trapped' in either universe if we had freedom of movement across the planes. A second thing was that both of us could be active simultaneously, with the apparent drawback that we'd have to store our physical bodies somewhere safe before we crossed over. The third thing was that I had absolutely no clue how to go about duplicating her feat.

Part of it had to do with how our abilities had worked prior to her awakening. I had always operated under the assumption that an active consciousness in our body worked as a tether of sorts to anchor our ghost forms. If I were awake, Jamie's ghost would be drawn to me; conversely, when Jamie's body was awake my current self would be drawn to her. This current situation broke the pattern. Jamie was apparently able to jump back to her physical body even whilst I was still awake, and she was able to jump into her ghostly avatar even whilst I was in mine.

Of course, she might have been just been asleep. If it turned out she was, I'd probably feel rather foolish about myself.

Well, there was only one real way to find out. I settled myself in the air, closed my eyes, and turned my focus inward. I'd never tried actual meditation before, but I figured it was nothing more than dropping one's self into a proper mindset. I reached deep into myself, looking for that small something within me, and tried to give my physical body the command to wake up.

I cracked open my eyes to the sight of Karen's poster-covered walls. Hm... I reached deeply into myself and gave myself the command to... fall asleep?

Still nothing.

This... might be a bit harder than I thought...

ooo

I wasn't sure how long I spent trying to duplicate Jamie's little trick. I don't think that I ever quite managed it, although I did get glimpses and flashes of scenery at the edge of my awareness. It seemed that my body was able to dream even whilst I wasn't there... and apparently I dreamed of playing with kittens. Or at least a kitten. The one in my dream reminded me of the ones Jamie had found in the town during one of our patrols. I wasn't quite sure, since what little connection I did have with my body disappeared shortly afterwards and I was kicked back into my ghost avatar.

When I came back to myself, I found myself staring into a pair of wide eyes framed in round lenses. I reflexively jerked backwards even as Karen did the same, taking a half-step backwards and bringing one hand up to adjust her glasses.

"What are you doing in my room?" she asked. She looked around as she tossed her schoolbag onto her desk chair. "Where's Jamie?"

"Jamie's in her room," I said. "She kicked me out so she could sleep."

"Ah," she said with a knowing tone. "I passed Sunny on the way in. Did she tell—?" She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and winced slightly as she noticed my expression. "I guess she did. Is Jamie alright?"

I hesitated before I could toss out a reflexive, She's fine. I was still unable to reach her through the link. It wasn't like there was a void or an emptiness where she'd normally be, but rather each time I reached out to her my probe was rebuffed. It was like there was a solid barrier that my thoughts couldn't cross.

"I don't know," I finally said.

"Hmm. Go see if she's up for visitors," Karen said, waving me away. "I'm just going to change out of my uniform real quick and head over."

"Alright." I looped back through the air and flew through the wall. I felt a brief twinge as my power tried to interact with the drywall, then the electrical wires routed through the building—a second twinge as I emerged into open air and glided across the guest bedroom.

Jamie was still asleep on the covers, but her eyes snapped open the moment I settled into place above her. She said nothing, lifting an eyebrow at me in unspoken question.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. How are you? No. Are you feeling better? No. Both of those sounded trite even in my head. I might not have known exactly what was going through her head, but I knew Jamie better than anyone else and I knew she wasn't nearly as calm as she might have appeared.

"Sleep well?" I asked instead.

"As well as I could, all things considered," she replied. She closed her eyes briefly and opened them again, blinking away the sleep from her eyes. "Do you think we could get a kitty?"

I smiled at the wistful tone in her voice. "I think I picked up part of that," I said. "Seemed like a nice dream." I noticed her expression shift and frowned. "What?"

Jamie had paled slightly, staring at me with wide eyes. She seemed to catch herself and she turned her head away, a slight flush across her cheeks. "You weren't supposed to see that," she mumbled.

I lowered myself to rest above her chest. "You shouldn't be afraid to share your thoughts," I said. "I can't help you if I don't know what you're feeling. We've lived like this for years, what have you to be afraid of?"

"Everything," she said. She threw one arm over her eyes, still avoiding my gaze. "I'm alone."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" I asked with mock offense.

She lowered her arm, staring up at me. "I'm serious. You don't have a choice in staying with me, and it's the same for me. I... I can talk to you, and that's it. We're siblings who can't even touch each other." Her voice became softer and flatter as she spoke. Her expression froze into stillness and her eyes looked... dead.

There was a pair of knocks on the door and it creaked open to admit Karen's head poking around the frame. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she asked with a sort of false cheer.

"Don't mind me, just having another breakdown over here," Jamie said, even as she waved the other girl inside. "Your sister told me she was throwing me out."

"Did she?" Karen asked airily. "That doesn't sound like Sunny. Her sentences are usually at least twice as long."

"Would she?" Jamie turned towards her. "Do it, I mean? I... I don't have anywhere else to go."

"That's not true, I'm sure she was giving you options on where you could go. She wouldn't be so irresponsible as to forget that."

It didn't escape either of us that Karen hadn't denied her older sister's plan of action. Jamie seemed to shrink in on herself. "But I wouldn't know anyone at any of those places. I'd rather stay here."

Karen smiled sadly. "I'd love to keep you around if we could, Jamie. You're like the first friend I've had in a long time."

"And you were my only one," Jamie said.

Karen arched a brow and pointed at me. "Your ghost doesn't count?"

"He is me, sort of..." Jamie shook her head, "It's not the same thing."

Whatever she was doing to shake herself out of her train of thought, the motion seemed to have broken something else loose. I had a sudden sensation not unlike that of glass cracking and found that I could suddenly hear a low buzzing. It seemed like it was coming from our link, but it was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

... e... y...

Karen approached the bed and sat down on the edge, placing a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Jamie, I really like having you around, honest. But the world is bigger than the both of us. And Sunny and I... we'd like to help everyone in it if we could. It's why we do what we do. If we didn't... well, I might never have met you in the first place. If we kept you, we couldn't take anyone else in either."

Jamie lowered her head and said nothing.

...my friend... nted... y fri...

"I mean, would you want to deny some future people the chance to make friends with us too?"

"But... you're my friend, right?" Jamie asked.

I frowned as I focused onto the strange noise. It almost sounded like Jamie's train of thought, except... different.

Karen grinned, but there was a slight tension in her eyes. "As friendly as anyone could be after knowing each other for just over a week."

My friend. I wanted you to be my friend. I don't want to be alone, be my friend.

Karen's smile softened. "It's not like we'd never see each other again, you know. I'm familiar with the places that Sunny picks where to send our... former tenants. The people who run them aren't so bad—they're actually quite nice. And I still visit some of the others who live there too."

Jamie squeaked slightly as Karen moved her hand across to her opposite shoulder and gave her a one-armed hug.

"So, don't worry, nobody's abandoning you."

I felt a surge of emotion and suddenly the thoughts across the link became clearer and more distinct, but no less confusing. They were still muted, but it felt like they were pressing against a barrier of sorts. The trace amounts leaking through were a confusing mass of thoughts and feelings.

Mama gone, Papa gone, family gone home gone, who are my friends who are my playmates who are my heroes my enemies my support i had friends i had a friend i'm alone i'm alone i'm alone...

Jamie's hand came up to rest over Karen's. "Nobody's abandoning me... nobody's leaving me, except they're making me leave you."

"Ah, Jamie?" I tried. "Nobody's forcing anyone to—"

Jamie's hand tightened against Karen's, keeping it pressed against her shoulder.

"Eh?" Karen tried to pull her arm back but found it locked in place. "Jamie?"

"My parents didn't want me," Jamie said, her voice suddenly hard. "The scientists didn't want me, they just wanted my brain."

"Scientists? Jamie what are you talking about?" Karen leaned away slightly to get more leverage for her arm, but Jamie held her solidly in place.

"Karen," I began, "she's not feeling very well right now. You might want to give her some space—"

"But you're my friend, right?" Jamie lifted her head slightly, although she kept her gaze focused on the far wall, rather than look at either of us. "Friends don't abandon each other, yeah?"

i was happy i was happy and you're taking it from me you're taking away my friends my life my family my home i thought you were my friend my ally my sister i trusted you why did i trust you can't trust you why did i think you were any different

There was a dissonance between what I was sensing over the link and what Jamie was saying. Her face was inanimate, a flat expression that didn't match her hopeful tone at all. In contrast, I was picking up some very strong feelings from her, as if her careful self-control and shielding was disintegrating even as she spoke. Emotions were filtering through now in ever larger amounts and I suddenly realised—

—Oh... this was going to be bad.

Karen had a slightly worried expression on her face, slowly transitioning to panic. "Jamie I promise you, I'll be your friend but there's no reason to—"

"I was happy here," Jamie continued. "For the first time since I woke up, I had a place I felt I could belong. James doesn't count, his parents aren't my parents. His friends aren't my friends. I haven't had parents or friends of my own in years!"

"Jamie!" I barked, part warning, part command. She was venturing dangerously close to giving away our biggest secret, yet something told me she was on the verge of something far worse. "L-let Karen go, Jamie!"

"I-I... we were happy to have you too, Jamie," Karen stuttered. She brought her free hand behind her, fishing for something in the seat of her trousers. "But—

"I don't even remember Mama's hugs!" Jamie's voice rose in volume and pitch as she let herself get more and more worked up.

"Jamie..." I tried one last time.

"And nobody wants me!" She all but shouted over my objection. Karen yelped as Jamie's hand clamped down onto hers in a pincer grip.

"Jamie!" Karen's eyes flashed towards me briefly before she refocused on Jamie's face. "Jamie, I'm so sorry but... SUNNY!" Her other hand withdrew itself from her pocket and I caught a glimpse of a small object nestled in its palm. She flipped it around in with a practiced flick of her wrist and I caught a glimpse of a metallic cylinder—

Karen's arm rose, raising the pocket-sized torch as if to club it against Jamie's side.

—and my vision went red.

There was a pair of sharp screams, a sickening thunk, and suddenly the bed creaked as Karen keeled over, falling across Jamie's legs. Jamie merely frowned as the unconscious girl's body settled against her, then turned her head to stare at me.

I released my hold on the torch, allowing it to drop to the floor as my mind frantically tried to recall what had just happened. I didn't even remember going for the light, much less turning it back on its owner. Yet, the evidence was clearly in front of me. Jamie didn't look surprised at all. Instead she leaned forward and ran a hand across the growing lump on the back of Karen's head with an oddly compassionate expression on her face.

"Move away from her," a cold voice said from the doorway.

I closed my eyes as if the action could simply will away the reality I was finding myself in. This was not happening...

"Jamie," Sunny said, brandishing a cast-iron spatula. "I understand that you are... slightly distraught. But please move that thing away from my sister."

"She's my friend," Jamie said, not looking up from the unconscious girl. "I won't abandon my friends."

"I would like to help you as well, Jamie," Sunny said. "But my sister's safety comes first. Move. It. Away... please."

James. Jamie's tone was sharp, commanding. The link was overflowing with feelings now, Jamie's barriers had broken down completely now. A sudden surge of grief filled me, followed by an icy calm, followed by rage.

I hadn't been looking, keeping my eyes closed as tightly as I could, but I was still aware of my surroundings to a certain degree. When Jamie called out to me, when my world went red, I had time for one last thought.

I've felt this before, I suddenly realised. Then I was swept away by the torrent and I knew no more.

ooo

a/n—sorry for the late update. i've been taking summer classes and these last two weeks have been filled with final projects and last-minute cramming.

i'm curious to see what responses there might be in regards to this little development. i think i might have mentioned in some of my other stories that while i consider myself to be fairly decent at building up events, my payouts tend to be ... meh? (let me know if you think otherwise)

along this same line, even if this is the main thing that really get's the plot moving... now that it's out of the way i need to figure out just how i'm gonna conclude this. i have a vague ideaaa... but again, actually working it out so it doesn't seem like a poor ending? this will be... fun.