F O U R:
Chapter Three:
T I M E:
S H U I C H I
It was times like these Shuichi wished he had a car. Botan's apartment wasn't exactly close to his campus, and walking there in the middle of the night was beginning to look less and less like a good idea- but he wasn't about to turn around now. Something told him that if he stopped and went back he might think about it more in the morning, and decide to leave Botan to the seclusion she obviously wanted. There were times in one's life when one had to go on gut instinct, and this was one of those times. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now. He wasn't going to accept being shoved out of the ferry girl's life without an explanation.
The autumn air was beginning to chill the dark haired young man as he drew closer to the building Botan lived in. Almost there now. It was strange that only at just that moment did he begin to think about how late at night it was. Almost midnight. Surely Botan would be asleep. His step faltered again, and once more he considered going back, but- no. He had decided to do this, and he would go through with it. If he had to wake Botan up, so be it. Perhaps if she was half asleep she would be less inclined to throw him out of her apartment.
It was interesting how one's feet would sometimes move faster than one's thoughts. Shuichi hardly recalled the last few streets he had crossed before reaching the door of the apartment building. He glanced at the contraption next to the door: A keypad and speaker. Residents of the building must have been given a code to unlock the front entrance. An extra button on the keypad was used by visitors to call the front desk. If he called the front desk, they would ask who he was visiting- if visitors were even allowed in at this hour- and he would have to say Botan... But Shuichi couldn't just say Botan. He would have to supply whatever last name she used here in the human world- and he had no idea what that was. Even if he were to make a lucky guess, he wouldn't be able to get in without the front desk informing the blue haired young woman of her visitor- and considering her recent behavior, he didn't think she would let him in willingly.
So that left the keypad. A quick examination revealed to him which buttons were the most used, but.. There was no way to tell by looking what order the numbers were keyed in. The brown eyed young man knew how these kinds of locks worked. A simple six digit code- easilly remembered, but with ten digits to choose from, difficult to figure out. Even with his skills in deduction, he could only narrow it down to about twelve combinations based on the condition of the keys. He might get lucky and get it right- but then again, he might not, and if he stood around entering random passcodes, someone would get suspicious. The system was probably programmed to send out an alarm if enough incorrect codes were entered in a row. Here, too, the risk was great.
Shuichi was just asking himself how much he was willing to risk to get in when a solution appeared before him- or behind him, to be precise. A woman's voice called out, "Hey there, haven't seen you before. You new here?"
Shuichi turned to see a slightly older woman with bleached hair, loudly smacking her gum and looking at him with an appraising eye. She adjusted her heavy-looking purse, waiting for an answer. Seeing his chance, the college student put on his best bewildered look. "Um- yeah. I just moved in, and I lost the paper I had written the passcode on. I can't get in, and I've got a really important term paper to write." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "It's- uh- It's due tomorrow."
The woman laughed heartilly at this. "College, huh? I remember that- y'know putting off a paper like that is gonna come back to bite you in the ass, kid." Shuichi's shoulders drooped as he directed his eyes heavenward. In his most exasperated tone, he said. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Like my professor isn't on my case about it already." In reality, he was relieved- the woman didn't seem to remember that the next day was a national holiday- there wouldn't be any classes.
The woman shook her head. "Okay, okay- I'm not gonna scold you, kid. Look, I'll help you get in this one time, but how about you try memorizing the code, yeah?" She said with a conspirational wink. The young man plastered on a grateful grin. "Oh, I promise- I won't let this happen again, miss...?"
Blue eyes twinkled, and glossed lips smirked. "Yuko. Nagaki Yuko. You?"
"Todaichi Sosuke." Said Shuichi with a quick, informal bow. "Thanks Nagaki-san."
"Yuko-chan, please." Said the woman, keying in the passcode. Shuichi's eyes followed her fingers, memorizing the order and numbers of the code. "Well, there you go, Sosuke-kun. Now get up to your apartment and finish that paper. You don't have a lot of time." The woman gave a laugh and a wave, walking through the open door. "See ya later, Sosuke-kun."
"See you, Yuko-chan." Said Shuichi, entering behind her and heading for the stairs while the woman went to the elevator. All that was left to do now was ascend the stairs to Botan's place. The confrontation was looming just a few floors up.
B O T A N
Sleep was not coming easy to the immortal, and she was beginning to think she wouldn't get a wink of sleep the entire night. She was certainly emotionally exhausted, but her physical body was wide awake, complaining that it hadn't done anything to be tired. As irritated as she was at it, she was inclined to agree. What had she done that day to expend any energy? She had walked around her apartment, watched television, read a book, ate- she hadn't left the building the entire day!
Well, what had she to do outside of the building? She had decided against seeing any of her friends, so that was out. She had no intention of making any new friends during her vacation, so there was no point in socializing. Simply going down the stairs, out the door, and into the outside world, she was sure she would be confronted with reminders of her pain. She'd had to put down the book she had been reading because of its strong themes of lasting friendship- themes that struck too close to her heart, and reminded her that such friendship was well out of her reach. She'd turned off her television when she came across a chick flick about a lonely bridesmaid at her friend's wedding- the film made her think of the two weddings she had missed, and those she would certainly miss in the future.
By the end of the day, Botan had unplugged her television and radio, and had shoved the offending book under a couch cushion. The pain was too fresh, and she too sensitive, to deal with movies, songs, and books that might at all strengthen her misery- but doing nothing didn't help her, either. Without any distraction, her mind began to wonder to her friends- especially to Shuichi. Had she hurt him? Was he angry? Was that for the best? What if she regretted her actions? She had already deleted his number from her phone, and thrown out the piece of paper with Yusuke's and Kuwabara's numbers written on them. She had even erased her call history from her cell, so she wouldn't be tempted to contact anyone. Was that foolish of her? Or was that the right thing to do?
The blue haired girl pulled her soft, warm covers tightly around her, trying to convince her body to rest. Her eyelids were starting to droop, and her body was relaxing, when she heard a loud knock at her door. She yanked her covers over her head, but the knocking came again, louder and more urgent. "Go away..." She grumbled. Who could possibly be bothering her this late? The knocking had become a pounding on her door. Botan threw her covers off, dragging her feet toward the entrance of her apartment. If her "visitor" woke up her neighbors, she'd be the one in trouble.
She slowly unlocked the door, and the pounding stopped. Her tired mind hadn't suspected just who would be behind that door- so the determined face of her visitor came as quite a surprise.
The last person she wanted to see.
S H U I C H I
He had predicted she would try to slam the door in his face, and stuck his foot in the doorway, ending that plan. She glared at him, but the impact of her anger was lessened by the fear evident in her features. She pushed harder on the door, shoving at his foot with her own, and grunting with the effort. He didn't say a word at this, keeping a firm hold on the doorknob and pushing back with slightly greater force. Her mussy blue mane fell in her distraught face as she resorted to stomping on his foot. As he had guessed, and as evidenced by her hair and her nightgown (a surprising orange color), she had been sleeping when he arrived. She dug her bare heel into his instep, and his none too sturdy shoes didn't cushion the impact. The pain didn't really bother him much, but he was a bit irritated at her stubbornness in getting him out of her door.
Botan's glare, which had been directed at his unyielding foot, returned to his face, meeting his eyes with anger and desparation. The pain in her pink eyes was evident as she doubled her efforts to remove him, kicking at his shin and forcing her shoulder against the door. Not a word, but grunts and groans of effort, left her lips, and Shuichi continued his silence, his brows coming together in frustration. "Get. out." Botan finally said, stomping his foot again. "Get out! Get out get out get out!" She plead, releasing the door and trying to shove him into the hall. The dark haired young man was immovable. "Leave! I told you I didn't want to see you! Go away!" She began to beat on the door with her free hand, and tears had begun to drip from her angry eyes. Her voice had been growing in volume with each syllable, and it was now nearly a shreik. "Get out! Leave me alone! I don't want you here!"
Deciding that at such a volume Botan would surely be heard by her neighbors- and the words she was crying out did not paint the prettiest of pictures- Shuichi abandoned his defensive position for offensive. Botan was by no means weak, but she was not as strong as a fighter such as himself. He put greater force on the door, overpowering the immortal and making his way into the apartment. Startled, she took a few steps back, allowing him entrance without meaning to. The dark eyed man closed the door quietly behind him, then focused those dark eyes on the distraught girl before him.
"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" He asked quietly, his expression carefully neutral. Botan seemed to have decided it was her turn to be silent. She simply glared at him, her lips sealed in a tight line, and crossed her arms over her chest. Unphased by her silence, Shuichi continued. "Why did you say you didn't want to see me anymore?" Her gaze flickered away from him, and landed unfortunately on her phone. Shuichi followed her eyes, his own narrowing. "Why did you hang up when Yukina answered the phone? Why haven't you contacted anyone? Why are you holing up in your apartment like this?" He turned his gaze back on her frightened, angry face, which had begun to take on a third emotion that was fighting for a place in her expression: guilt.
"Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you? I don't have a clue why you're doing this-" "You're right." Botan said finally. "You don't have a clue- and I'm not going to tell you-" "But why-"
"It's none of your business!" Cried Botan, the tears returning to your eyes. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Once I'm gone, you won't even think of me anymore, so why waste time on me now?" Seeming to realize what she had revealed, Botan covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stop the words that had already escaped. The calmness left Shuichi's face to be replaced with confusion. "What...? What do you mean, I won't think of you anymore?"
The angry arms over her chest became frightened hands holding herself together. She focused her gaze on something on the floor to her right, her voice shaky as she reluctantly explained. "You... You'll just go on with your life, like everyone else will. You- you won't miss me a bit. None of you will. You'll all just live your lives like I'd never been in them!" Her whole body was shaking, and not from the autumn chill. "I- I can't do that! It's not the same! It's not- it's not...!"
"What are you talking about?" Asked Shuichi, stepping closer to her. "We won't think about you? We won't miss you? How could we do that? You were an important part of all of our lives, Botan-"
"Were. Were, was, had been- Not anymore." Botan whispered, slumping over while still holding herself. "You- your lives have all- have all moved on. You've grown, you've aged- all of you- you're- you're in college. Keiko and Yusuke, Kuwa-chan and Yukina- they're married. Hiei is- is who knows where, living it up in Makai. Your lives keep moving-"
"Botan- your life- surely, it moves to-"
"Look at me!" Botan cried, bringing her face up to meet Shuichi's gaze. "How old do I look? How old do you look? Do you have any idea how many thousands of years older than you I am, and I haven't aged a day? In four years, I wouldn't have changed either- like you have- I wouldn't have changed, except- except I met all of you! I- I could have kept doing my job in Rekai, ignorant and happy! But I met all of you- I- I got to know and love and think of you all as my dearest friends- and then I went back."
Shuichi took a few more cautious steps forward, trying not to scare his upset friend, as she continued. "I went back, and for four years everything was the same. Every day, the same. Every week, the same. Every year, all the same- while you were all here, moving forward, aiming for something- and my not being there didn't affect a thing! Don't you see? When I leave Ningenkai, it doesn't have any- any impact on your lives. If I leave without ever letting Yusuke and the others know I was here, then they will be absolutely fine! I'm sure they never expected to see me again, and they've been doing fine despite that! You- you just don't understand. It isn't fair! You all had a much bigger impact on my life than I ever had on yours! You- all of you- you ruined me!"
Shuichi reached forward, gripping the distraught girl's shoulders tightly and meeting her crying eyes with his determined ones. "Botan, you've had a bigger impact on all of our lives than you know. If it weren't for your help, Yusuke wouldn't have come back to life- and all of the things that happened to us- they wouldn't have happened in the first place. You've always been there to support us Botan, even when it seemed like it might be the end- you were there. You gave us strength Botan. All of us. We all miss you. Just a few weeks ago we were all at Yusuke's house, and Keiko and Yukina were flipping through a photo album. Every single time they came across a picture of you, they would talk about how much they wished you were still with us. When they got to the pictures of Keiko's wedding, she started crying. And do you know why?"
Botan was so overwhelmed she couldn't even shake her head. She just stared, wide eyed, as Shuichi continued. "She said it was wrong, because there were no pictures with you in them. She wanted you there so badly."
Botan closed her eyes at this. "N-no... Even- even with all that... It doesn't help. It doesn't change the facts-"
"Does it really matter?" Shuichi interrupted her. "Yes, you'll always look younger than us- yes, you'll outlive us- but why should that matter? If there's nothing to be done about it, why torture yourself over it? All of us- we wanted to see you again- are you really going to take that away from us because we've gotten a bit older?"
Botan was past answering. Sobs wracked her body as she closed the distance between herself and her friend, clinging to him like a crying child. Not knowing what else to do, Shuichi put his arms around her. He glanced behind him at Botan's couch, and decided that- as she might be crying for some time- sitting would be much more comfortable. He guided her to the couch as best he could, with her refusal to let go of him hindering him a bit.
It was a few minutes before her crying quieted. Shuichi hadn't expected her to say anything elese, but her bitter voice rose to his ears, a bit muffled by his shirt. "And when you die?" She asked. "What am I supposed to do when you're all gone...?"
Shuichi didn't have an answer for that. Looking back on the conversation, he realized there were a lot of questions he didn't have an answer for- avoided answering. When Botan went back to Rekai after this... What would life be like for her?
A/N: I don't like this chapter very much... I don't know what it is, but there's something about it that just doesn't seem good enough. I'll probably rewrite it- but I would like to hear your opinions on it first. Maybe I'm just being too critical of myself. What do you all think?
Also, you'd think I would know more four-letter words, but the chapters are annoyingly difficult to name.