Where We Are

Chapter Three

The Doctor's lounge had darkened as Carol sat there, mug in her hand, yet the coffee had gone cold hours ago. Her shift had finished at seven and here it was, nine-thirty, and she still sat in the lounge, watching Zach's chest rise and fall with his deep breaths as he slept on the couch. Every now and again, when an ambulance arrived in the bay outside, streams of red and blue light illuminated Carol's face. Her eyes were down, watching her son sleep, one hand folded around the mug, the other holding her head, her legs curled up underneath her. Her anger had not abated in the least through the day, causing Kerry to repeatedly ask her if anything was wrong. Of course, she had tried her best to convince her boss otherwise but maybe her grimace had given away the fact that all was not well.

Carol had almost decided to try to have a civil conversation with John that evening when they went home but when she had rang his office around six, she was told by a med student that he had already left for the night. Upon hearing this, Carol had run outside to see that the car was gone from its usual spot in the parking garage and her anger flared to new levels. Unable to face going home to the argument that was inevitable, Carol had collected Zach from day care as usual and then returned to the lounge, where she still sat now.

The door of the lounge suddenly opened and Mark Greene entered, many charts shoved under his arm. He didn't seem to notice Carol as he began making himself a coffee. After pouring the steaming liquid into a mug, Mark turned towards the table in the corner and happened to spot Zach, lying on his stomach, still fast asleep. His eyes quickly scanned the rest of the room and smiled when he saw Carol in the chair.

'What are you still doing here?' he asked, going to sit on the end of the couch, near her chair.

Carol shrugged and finally leaned over to rest her mug on the table in front of her. She unfolded her legs from under her but crossed her arms and kept her eyes down.

'What's up?' her best friend asked.

Carol looked up at him, but quickly averted her eyes when she saw him watching her closely. 'Nothing' she mumbled, starting to pick at the arms of her woollen jumper.

She heard Mark sigh and place his mug down next to hers. 'Carol, you do know that you can tell me anything, right? I'm your friend and I'm here to help' he said, placing a hand on her knee, gently.

The tears Carol had refused to let fall during the course of the day, flooded her eyes instantly at her best friend's touch. She took a deep breath and tried to blink away the tears. Then it came to her that Mark would be a good person to confide in, because, beside him being one of the people she trusted most in the world, he had gone through this already.

'Mark, how did it start, you know, when you and Jen split up?' she asked, slowly. Comprehension flooded Mark's features as he finally understood Carol's mood.

'You and Tag having problems?' he asked, softly.

Carol looked up at him again and their eyes locked. She nodded, again trying to blink away tears.

'Well, I guess she just got tired of me never being around. She was trying to finish Law school and my hours were getting in the way. Rach was so young at the time that it was hard for her. Then she was offered that job in Milwaukee and the distance put more of a strain on things. Rach was being passed back and forth and it wasn't fair for any of us. Then she met Craig and I realised I had lost her' Mark explained as much as he could because he knew his friend needed answers.

Carol nodded, noticing how alike the situations were, apart from she and John still lived together. If you could really say that, even.

'Can I ask what's going on with you two?' Mark asked, softly. Carol was silent for so long, Mark began to think she had not heard him. He had just opened his mouth to speak again when she answered.

'Kind of the same thing, I guess. He's never around. Zach cries himself to sleep at night when he doesn't get to see his dad. I know he works hard but so do I, Mark, and I still manage to look after our son and the house and everything else. It's not fair. We're fighting all the time and Zach hears most of it which makes it all worse. And he just doesn't seem to care at all' Carol explained and Mark nodded, understandingly.

Now, after opening up to Mark, Carol found it hard to stop. 'We drove in together yesterday but he rang to say I could go home without him. When he finally arrived home we started fighting and he slept in the spare room. This morning he left without even seeing me or Zach. He left a note saying I could take the El. Zach was freezing by the time we got here and now he's gone with the car again and the thoughts of taking Zach out into that cold is killing me and John doesn't even care!' she ranted.

Mark pressed his lips together, not altogether sure how he should comfort Carol. In the end, he settled on saying, 'Do you want a ride home?'

Carol's mouth pulled up at one side in a half hearted smile and Mark took that as a yes. He stood, abandoning all the charts he had brought with him to work on and scooped his sleeping godson into his arms. Carol stood, went to her locker and pulled out her coat and scarf and then followed Mark and Zach out the door.

'Night Dr Greene, night Carol' Randi called from the admit desk as the trio past them.

'Night, Randi' both doctor and nurse called back and Zach stirred on Mark's shoulder.

'Uh-oh, looks like this little guy is waking up' Mark whispered to Carol.

'No chance. He sleeps like a rock' she replied, resting a hand on her son's back and rubbing it until he relaxed again. Mark smiled, then wrapped his spare arm around Carol's shoulders and led her out into the night.

They walked as quickly as possible through the parking garage to Mark's mini-van, the cold wind whipping at their faces. Mark laid Zach out on the backseat and Carol slid in beside her son as they did not have a car seat for him. Mark hopped into the front seat and quickly turned over the ignition. He switched on the heaters to full blast and before they even left the garage, the car was toasty warm.

'Thanks for this, Mark. I couldn't bear to put him on that El' Carol said, quietly, as Mark waited for a gap in the oncoming traffic. She saw Mark smile through the rear view mirror.

'If you want we could go over to my place. Rach is there with a sitter and I'm sure she'd love to see Zach' Mark suggested.

Carol was tempted, anything to put of the inescapable argument, but Zach was already asleep and if she went straight home and put him to bed first, maybe he would be spared from hearing his parents fight.

'Thanks, but I think I should get Zach home. I'm on again at seven so we'll be up early' she replied.

Mark nodded and, finally getting a large enough gap, pulled out onto the street. Carol stared out the window while simultaneously running her fingers through Zach's curls. Honestly, she was exhausted but knew it would be a while before she could sleep, and even longer before she could sleep peacefully. Her eyes were starting to droop when she spotted a familiar car parked against the curb.

'Stop' she called out to Mark and he complied, looking around for whatever had caused Carol's reaction.

'What's wrong?' he asked.

'That's our car' Carol said, looking more closely at the grey sedan. Mark looked in the same direction as Carol and knew without hesitation that it was, indeed, her car, for the small sign reading "Prince on Board", which Mark himself had bought when Zach was born, was hanging from the back window.

'That med student, Sasha, said he had gone home. What's going on?' Carol asked, but Mark knew she didn't intend to get an answer.

Carol's mind was racing. What was going on? Why was the car here when she had been told John was gone home, hours ago? Had something happened to him? Had he been lying?

'Can we go back, please?' Carol asked, needing to know. Maybe he had left her the car after all and Sasha, the med student, had just forgotten to pass on the message.

'Sure' Mark replied, looking over his shoulder to check for cars and then swinging the car around and going back into the parking garage. 'Do you want me to come in with you?' he asked, as he pulled back into his earlier space.

'No, that's okay. You stay with Zach' Carol replied, getting out of the car and heading back towards the hospital.

'Hey, Carol, what are you doing back?' Randi asked, seeing the charge nurse re-entering the ER. Carol forced a smile.

'Forgot something' she said and headed for the stairs. Randi's eyes followed her with confusion, wondering why she was going upstairs. Then she shrugged and went back to her work.

Emerging onto the Psychiatrics floor, Carol turned left and her feet automatically led the way to John's office. When the door came into view, she saw a dull light emitting from under the door. Her anger reappeared, suddenly thinking that he had lied about going home just to avoid her. Nobody else was around so Carol didn't hesitate and walked straight towards the door and swung it open.

Her heart dropped through her stomach as her eyes took in the scene around her.

John was sitting in his chair, his shirt on the floor, his belt unbuckled and sitting astride him was Sasha, the med student, in nothing but lace panties. Silence filled the whole room.

'Carol' John eventually croaked.

But it seemed that Carol's whole being had shut down. She couldn't move, she couldn't think, she could barely breathe. Her fist clenched so hard over the door handle that her knuckles went white. Sasha had removed herself from John's lap and was dressing quietly in a corner. John rose from his seat, fastening his trousers as he approached his stunned wife.

'Carol' he whispered again.

This time Carol snapped to and as John drew nearer, she started to back away from him.

'Sorry I interrupted' she spat, forcing herself to inject as much venom into her words as possible. John reached out to her but she moved away, turned and fled down the corridor. He called after her, but she didn't stop and took the stairs two at a time.

Mark was standing at the admit desk with a now awake Zach in his arms when Carol reached the ER. She forced herself to slow down and breathe before she could be bombarded with her friend's questions. As she approached the desk, Mark turned and Zach called, 'Mommy'.

Carol reached out and took Zach from Mark and held him close, determined to hold in her tears until he was out of sight. But vivid images kept flashing through her mind and it made it hard to remain in control.

'What's going on? Did you see Tag?' Mark questioned, looking at his best friend with concern.

Carol simply nodded and took a deep breath, still struggling to hold it together. 'Mark, could we go back to yours, please' she requested, finally, gripping onto Zach even more.

Mark's eyebrows came together but he nodded anyway. 'Sure' he replied, taking the child back into his arms and leading her out of the ER for the second time.

D&C

Doug turned the key in the lock and entered his cold, darkened house. He was exhausted from a long day at work and he'd had to begin organising his trip to Phoenix too. He entered the kitchen, flicked on a light and then grabbed a beer from the fridge. He rummaged through the drawer for a bottle opener, popped the cap, and then headed for the sitting room. He threw himself down onto the couch and flicked on the sports channel on the TV, then settled back to watch the highlights.

After watching in for a few minutes and becoming fidgety on the couch, he decided to simply check his emails and then head to bed. He ambled over to the computer in the corner of the room and turned it on. When it eventually came to life, he entered his email details and was surprised to find three emails waiting for him. He smiled when he saw that the second was from one Susan Lewis.

Even though Doug had left Chicago and her behind, he found it impossible to totally disconnect himself with the place and people that had once made him so happy. Especially Susan and his onetime best friend, Mark Greene. So, every few months they traded emails, keeping each other up to date of the goings-on of their busy lives. Still smiling, Doug clicked on Susan's email.

Doug,

Here I was, sitting at the admit desk in work today when the chief of staff asked me would I be available to accompany some delegates from other hospitals on a tour of our ER and Paediatrics unit in a few days. I agreed, half heartedly, until he handed me a list of doctors that would be coming and here wasn't your name half way down.

YOU'RE COMING TO PHOENIX!

To my hospital! I can hardly believe it, this is great. I've been living here for a whole year now and I haven't seen anyone from County since I left Chicago and now, you're coming! You'll love Phoenix and I promise to show you all the sites when you get here (you do have a few days, right?). And Phoenix Heart is such a great hospital, I love my work there and I'm sure you'll like it too. Maybe I can convince you to relocate! I'm so excited to see you again. It's been way too long!

In response to your last email, Chloe and Susie are great. Susie is four years ago already, can you believe it? She started pre-school this year and I actually cried, I was worse than Chloe! How are things going for you in DC? Have you found yourself a nice wife yet? I haven't heard from Mark in a while, how is he?

I'm so excited to see you! See you in a few days!

Love, Susan

Doug smiled, imaging his old friend's expression when she had spotted his name on her list. He had been completely shocked when Susan had told him she had moved to Phoenix but then again, Susan loved Little Susie more that anyone and where Susie went, Susan went. He guessed that she still didn't trust her sister with the child and that's why she followed but they all seemed to be doing great now, or so she said. Doug remembered that day when Chloe had disappeared, four years ago, leaving Susan to bring the baby along to the wedding...

He stopped his thoughts right there, he didn't want to think about her. Not tonight.

He clicked on "Reply" and began to type.

Susan,

Yes, I'm coming to Phoenix. I'm looking forward to having a break from work and seeing you again. It really has been too long. I'm going to hold you to that promise of showing me the sights, I've never been to Phoenix and since you're a long term resident now, who could be better?

You know me, Susan, terminal bachelor. Pigs will fly before I settle down. I'm glad things are going well for you and Chloe and, of course, Little Susie. Four years old already?

No, I haven't heard from Mark in a while, either. We haven't spoken much in the last year or so, but so I hear he's become quite the Ladies Man, or so Haleh says. She really does know everything, doesn't she?

Looking forward to seeing you too,

Doug

After clicking send, Doug shut down the computer without even checking the other two emails and headed for the stairs. He really was exhausted. But after reading Susan's email, he was beginning to look forward to his trip and, even though it would probably hurt him to hear, maybe he could find out how she was, whether she was still happy or not.

And that small part of him that still clung onto hope so desperately, begged for the latter to be true.

AN: Sorry it took so long. I guess you could say I had a touch of writer's block. That plus a toddler with an ear infection so it's been difficult to get any time to even try to write, lol. The next chapter for Secrets should be along any day now, it's almost ready :)

Reviews make me smile... :)

Katelyn x