"Sorrow is the realization

Of how it hurts so much

Hurt is hope that holds you down

Ego, is a common crutch" - Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

Christine's POV

Never had I ever slept in the same room as Erik. Throughout the night, I would wake and hear him tossing and turning within his bed. Sometimes, he would scream out names I never heard before, and beg for it to "stop." I knew something bad had happened to him, but the real question was "Did I dare wake him?" How badly it hurt to lay there and listen to his nightmares go on, but I knew if I woke him he would become even angrier. After falling back asleep, I woke when I heard someone rummaging about in the kitchen. I awoke, to spot Erik standing near the window dressed in his robe, and yawning. Had his nightmares deprived him of his sleep? After stretching, I stood up and walked across the cold floor to reach him.

The tea kettle that was sitting on the burner of the stove began whistling, and Erik leaned over to silence it.

"Erik?" I called his name, unsure as to how he was going to react. He took an empty mug out of his cabinet, and began filling it with the hot water, never turning my way.

"Yes?"

When I didn't answer him, he looked over at me, and I looked at him. Something was different though….it was his hair! It wasn't black after all; it was blonde. He only had a few strands of hair to begin with, but something else was different. There was an exposed part of his skull right in the side of his head. My poor angel; his face hadn't been the only thing that was malformed.

"Your head."

Upon hearing the words, Erik slowly lifted his hand to touch the top of his head. It seemed as though he had forgotten to place on his wig. Never did I ever know that his skull looked like this. When he realized this, he pushed right past me, and headed to his bed where I saw him grab a wig from his nightstand and place it on. When I saw him undoing his sleep trousers, I turned towards the window and looked out at the brisk morning. There was frost covering the beach, and it made the ocean sparkle…It was so beautiful.

"It's such a beautiful morning." I sighed. "Is it always this beautiful?"

"I see nothing beautiful about it." he mumbled coming back into the kitchen with his braces on his legs. "Nothing is beautiful anymore."

"It's a beautiful view, Erik."

At that moment, Erik slammed the kettle down on the stove, and turned to me full of rage.

"Did you not hear what I said?" he screamed. "Nothing is beautiful! Nothing!"

I knew Erik was good for his temper, but never had I ever seen him like this. I gasped in fear, and he threw the kettle into the sink; some of the boiling hot water landed on my arm in the process.

"Get dressed!" he demanded. "We're going to the ship yard this instant!"

That was all I needed to hear, and ran around the corner, throwing on my now dry clothes and only coming back once I was ready to go.

"Grab your stuff. It's time to go!"

Erik wasted no time in locking his flat, and making me follow him to through the amusement park he lived in. There were so many beautiful things; so many wondrous attractions to see. I wanted to ask him about each thing, but I knew better than to open my mouth. My time with Erik was growing short, and I knew he didn't want a thing to do with me. Even when we arrived at the docks, he pushed me down on a bench and told me to stay put.

"Let me come!" I pleaded.

He only pushed me back down, and looked me in the eye with his evil stare.

"No! if you stand up from this spot, I swear you'll be sorry."

This wasn't the angel I knew. Erik used to be such a caring man, and now he was a monster. I cried as he walked away, wishing he would turn around and embrace me, but he never did. He approached the ticket booth, and began conversing with the ticket master. I wasn't sure what was taking him so long, but a few moments later, I heard him yelling at the man. When Erik turned back around, I thought he was coming back to me with a ticket that would take back to Paris, but he only walked right past me. Wondering what was going on, I jumped up from my seat, and began following him.

"The dock's that way."

"Don't treat me like I was born yesterday!" he shouted. "There isn't any ships coming or headed to Paris until April."

"So I'm stuck here?" I grabbed his arm to slow him down, but he only pushed me away.

"Yes, you're stuck here."

This wasn't good. Not only was I stuck in Coney Island the whole winter, but I had no place to go. Surely Erik would not have me.

"Where am I going to stay? I haven't any money."

He stopped, and clenched my shoulders tightly in his grasp.

"If you shut up, perhaps I'll let you stay."

Wow, that very kind of him…Did he have a change of heart?

"Until I make other arrangements." he reminded me.

So much for that. Of course, he was probably going to stick me at a hotel once the Coney Island crowds cleared out for the winter.

"Thank you, Erik."

He turned from me in such anger, walking away again.

"Don't thank me! Thank me by staying out of my way!"

"Where are we going?"

"If you must know, I have work to do, and sadly I haven't a babysitter."

"So I get to come along?" I asked.

Erik stopped walking, and sighed.

"Yes, Christine, you may accompany me; but in silence!"

I did as he asked, and kept quiet as we walked back through the gates of the mysterious park…But wait? The gates had the words "Phantasma" welded into it. Phantasma? That name, it sounded so familiar.

"What's Phantasma?" I asked.

"It's the park's name." he snarled.

"But why is it called "Phantasma?" I wanted to know this more than anything in the world. Such an odd name for a park. "If the creator were here right now, I'd ask him. What kind of name is that for a park?"

Erik stopped in his tracks, causing me to bump into him. He turned to me, his tall, thin body overpowering mine.

"Well then, Madame, ask away."

"What?" I was confused. Was this a joke?

"You heard me!" he growled. "Ask me why I named this park "Phantasma?"

God! That's where the name came from! This was his park!

"You built this?" I asked.

"Yes, Madame, I did. Now would you please shut up!"

"So you're Mister E? You're the one everyone talks about?"

Once again, Erik stopped in his tracks.

"Yes, now please, come along and stop asking questions. I have a lot of work to do before the day is out and don't need you holding me up."

I followed him all the way to something called "The haunted house." It was a creepy old building, with cars lined up at its entrance.

"The Haunted house?" I questioned. "Is it really haunted?"

Erik just groaned, and pulled me along. He opened the front door, and hopped into the first car as I stood there watching. He didn't sit, he just knelt towards the seat, and then looked over at me.

"Do me a favor, and push the green button on the box beside you."

I looked at the electric box that was full of buttons and wires, and pushed the red button, causing the car Erik was kneeling in to back up and crash into the others.

"Damn you, woman! I said green! Green! Not red! Don't you know one color from the other!"

Once more, I was frightened by his temper, but corrected myself and pushed the green button. When I did, the car he was in whipped around the corner and through the front door. I wondered where he had gone, but seconds later heard him ask me to push the green button again. This time when I did, the second car in line whipped around the corner and entered through the door. Over and over again, he asked me to do this for every car. Curious about where they were going, when the last car began to move, I jumped into it, and sat down in its seat as it traveled into the haunted house.

Once inside, I was met with spider webs, and scary images on the wall. I screamed, and it echoed for what seemed like miles. When my car stopped, I was met with a bunch of spiders hanging from the ceiling.

I fearfully shooed them from my hair, and screamed.

"Would you stop screaming!" Erik yelled.

From out of the darkness, Erik appeared, and pushed the spiders away from my head.

"Do you know the secret of a haunted house?" he snarled.

I shook my head.

He tugged one of the spiders down, and flashed it in front of my eyes.

"Everything is fake."

He threw the rubber spider in front of my face, and waited for me to get up.

"I told you to push the button, not to take a ride."

"I was curious." I said. "It seemed so interesting, and I couldn't help myself."

"You could have hurt your voice."

I got out of the car, and Erik pulled me in front of him.

"Stay close." he warned. "The track is very narrow here."

Once we were back outside, Erik shut the door and began walking off once again.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I have more rides to lock up for the winter."

I kept my mouth shut, and followed him to a ride that had a wooden track with hills. Beneath the deck where the cars were lined was a storage closet, and Erik opened it. He pulled out a large folded tarp, and motioned me to come forward.

"Help me unfold this." he said. "Take an end."

I did as he asked, and pulled the tarp until it unfolded. Afterwards, we walked up the stairs that led to the deck, and Erik covered the cars with it.

"Keeps the snow off of them." he told me in his cold tone of voice.

As Erik tied the tarp on the line of cars, I looked out to see the Ferris Wheel. I rested my arms on the railing of the deck, and sighed. My Erik had created everything in this park, and what a wonderful park it was.

"What are you looking at?" I heard him ask.

"Everything." I said. "It's amazing."

"Well, I never imagined that my life would lead me to waste it on smoke and noise, but here I am ten years later."

"It's not a waste." I said. "It's everything but a waste. Your mind is brilliant, and what you've created here is far more brilliant than any music you could have ever written."

"Do you think I enjoy running an amusement park?" he growled. "I, the Phantom of the Opera, enjoy running a place where others can wallow in happiness? I can't even obtain my own happiness; why would I want to see everyone else's?"

Erik began storming down the steps, leaving me standing on the deck alone.

"You could have it, you know."

Erik immediately stopped, and slowly turned around.

"What? Pain? Is that what my happiness is supposed to include? Because if I know you well, and I'm pretty sure I do, you don't love me. Our life, my dear, would be as beautiful as my face….Do you remember that?"

"You were a murderer." I said. "I was scared. But I seen what good you can do. You built this place, Erik, and I know there is good in you."

"There was good in me ten years ago! But you didn't care to see it! Now come along!"

We walked along the boardwalk, Erik leading me right back to Nathan's; the same place I had stolen from just yesterday.

"Erik, where are we going?"

"I'm hungry. It's time to get some lunch."

I pulled the hood of my cloak up over my head, and entered the stand with Erik leading the way. When we approached the counter, the man known as Nathan, smiled and immediately tended to Erik.

"Ah, boss, it's so good to see you again." His eyes turned my way. "And what is this thief still doing with you?"

Erik flung back the hood of my cloak so Nathan could see me, and I closed my eyes, too ashamed to look at him.

"She's a pretty woman." Nathan said. "What is her reason for stealing?"

"It's a long story. But to tell you the short version, she's a friend, and came over here without any money and made a horrible mistake. Anyway, she wanted to come make a full apology."

Erik bumped my shoulder, and I looked up at the man.

"I'm…I'm sorry, sir."

"And honest too. I like her, boss. What can I get for you?"

Erik stared up at the menu, and then back at me.

"I'll take two with ketchup and sauerkraut."

Nathan disappeared, and returned with two strange looking tubes of meat on a bun. When Erik tried to pay, Nathan wouldn't accept.

"It's on the house." he said. "You should know that by now."

I thought we were going to sit, but Erik walked back outside.

"Come along, Madame." he instructed. "We must keep moving."

Once outside, Erik handed me my hotdog. I looked over it again and again, trying to figure out how to eat it. I watched him for a few moments, only to giggle when the ketchup that was on his hotdog smeared on the front of his mask.

"That's not funny!" he growled. "Just stop!"

"It wouldn't hurt for you to laugh once in a while." I said handing him the napkin that was wrapped around my hotdog.

"I don't laugh, because I'm hurt. Everything hurts inside."

I bit into my hotdog, and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my cloak. Yesterday I had dropped my hotdog before I even had the chance to taste it. But right now, as my mouth got its first taste of a hotdog, I knew I would never want to eat anything else…until I found another Coney Island treat to sink my teeth into anyway.

"Good?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, very good."

Erik looked up towards the grey sky, and motioned me to continue walking with him.

"Come, there's a storm coming and I have lots more to do."

For a while more, I accompanied Erik to the many attractions he had within Phantasma. He locked up the maze of mirrors, pushed all of the swan shaped boats into the tunnel of love, and drained the water out of the log ride. By the time this was done, I felt something wet hitting me from the sky, only to look up and see that it was snowing.

While Erik was preoccupied with closing up one of the concession stands, I ran over to the railing of the boardwalk, and looked out as it snowed over the ocean. It had been years since I last seen it snow on the beach. It brought back memories of how my father and I would stand in front of the window, and watch the snowflakes glisten over the ocean….if only he were here now.

"Don't run off like that!" I heard an angry shout from behind me, only to spot Erik headed my way.

"What were you thinking?" he grabbed my shoulders violently, as the snow continued to fall. "You are never to run off like that!"

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it! I'm crippled enough without having to wander around and wonder where you ran off to. What if something happened? I wouldn't be able to fight them off."

"Erik, I only meant to look out at the ocean. I swear this to you."

"Come, we're going home before we both catch our deaths out here."

I didn't say another word, and followed Erik through the deserted Phantasma. Once we were back in his flat, Erik made a fire, and took a seat at his desk to do paper work. I sat there on the mounds of pillows, looking over at him as he worked. He was so shut out from the world, and even myself. He was treating me as if I were a pet and nothing more.

"Erik?"

"Hmm?" he didn't look up, and continued writing. From what I could see, his mask was placed beside him, but I couldn't see his face because his back was turned towards me.

"What are you writing?"

"Closing statements for Phantasma. It would do me a great deal if you silenced yourself."

"It's warmer by the fire." I said. "You could come sit next to me and do your paperwork, couldn't you?"

"I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you."

"You look cold."

He did. I noticed that he had been shivering through his robe, and hadn't said anything until now.

"I'm fine."

"But…"

"What part of "I'm fine" don't you understand?"

"Would you want me to make something for us? I could make soup?"

Erik slammed his hands down on his desk, and groaned. He didn't turn towards me, but his voice was loud and angry.

"I want to make something very clear with you, Madame! If you are going to be spending the winter here, I want you to know that you are to stay out of my way! I don't wish to be fed and I sure as hell will not be eating my meals at your side. I'm giving you shelter and nothing more! I don't even want you speaking to me unless told to….is that perfectly clear?"

How badly I wanted him to turn around. How badly I wanted to see his face. I could show him that I no longer feared it. I could look past his face and possibly come to love him.

"Please, turn around, Erik….please, let me see your face."

"I…I can't…I can't show you my face, because there isn't one to show." his tone had softened. Was it possible that I had hit a nerve?

"Erik, I could look at you without fear, if only you would present yourself to me again. Ten years can change a person, can't it."

Erik grabbed his mask, and placed it on before turning around.

"Yes, yes it can! It's changed me! I've learned from my mistake, and I sure as hell won't make that mistake again!"

"But…"

"No buts! It's better this way, Madame, much better!"

I didn't say another word to him, for I was afraid of being kicked out. That night after we were long since in bed, I found myself laying awake, looking at the fire. When I heard footsteps entering the bathroom, I looked over at Erik's bed to notice that he wasn't in it. For a few moments I continued to lay there looking at the fire, that was until I heard him groaning. Was he in pain? Slowly, I got to my feet, and walked towards the closed door, leaning my ear against it once I was there. Over and over again, the groans softly came. It sounded as if he were in agony, but I wasn't sure.

"Erik?" I knocked softly on the door, awaiting his answer. "Are you alright in there? You sound like you're in pain?"

The groans had stopped, but I didn't hear a word from Erik.

"Erik?"

"What? Can't I be left alone to piss in peace?" he growled.

"Do you have a urinary infection?"

"I'm fine!" he yelled. "Now leave me alone!"

Once more I feared his tone, and made my way to the kitchen to put some water on the burner to make tea. As I stood there with my back turned, I heard Erik's voice call me.

"What are you doing?" I spun myself around to see him wrapping a robe tightly around his body.

"Making tea. Would you like some?"

"No, I'm quite fine, thank you. I'm going back to bed."

He turned around to head back to his part of the flat, but I stopped him.

"Erik?"

He paused.

"Yes?"

"Were you alright in the bathroom just now? That's all I want to know."

"Yes, just….just fine."

"But you didn't sound…."

"I said, I'm fine!"

I grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around to face me.

"Erik, you were not ok."

He pried my hand away from his shoulder.

"Yes, I was. Now stop analyzing me, Madame!"

I couldn't take this, I couldn't take this hatred between us. He turned back around to start walking towards his bed again, but I spun him back around and tore off his mask. Everything silenced, and it was just the both of us standing before one another, his face haunting me just as much as it has the time I tore it off. My eyes grew blank, and my jaw dropped. God! He was so hideous! I couldn't scream because my mouth had run dry….no, I only backed up until I was right up against the kitchen counter.

Erik, my poor, poor Erik….his dark sockets were full of tears, and he turned away, one hand clenching his mask, and the other his chest…..god! I had hurt him again!

"Do…do you really want to know what I was doing in the bathroom?" he choked.

"Erik…"

"Answer me!" he voice had risen to a terrible tone filled with tears and anger.

"Wh…what were you doing?" I was frightened to ask, but he answered me, choking on his tears.

"Pleasuring myself…to you…For I know…that….I will never feel the joys…of the flesh. Women only fear me….especially you.."

This made the situation even worse. Oh, what have I done?

"Erik?"

"Get out! Get out!"

I had ruined what ever welcome I had been given. It was my fault! I quickly grabbed my cloak, and ran out of the flat in bare feet, the icy snow burning my toes upon first contact. I wasn't sure where I was headed, but all I knew was that I had worn out my welcome….and that that I would probably never see Erik again..

Please let me know what you think! Thanks guys!