"I live for one touch

One kiss or passing glance

One which would make my virgin body beg for the pain and pleasure of your sweet romance."- Excerption from the diary of Erik

Erik's POV

Christine was staying with me….Over and over again this ran through my mind. She was stuck here until spring, and until then I was going to have to deal with the pain of seeing her around me. After telling her to stay quiet, I had her follow me through the gates of Phantasma so I could start shutting my rides up for the winter.

"What's Phantasma?" I heard her ask. Questions! So many questions!

"It's the park's name." I snarled.

"But why is it called "Phantasma? If the creator were here right now, I'd ask him. What kind of name is that for a park?"

I stopped in place, and felt her bump into me. I turned to her, and looked into her green eyes, my body filled with such hate.

"Well then, Madame, ask away."

"What?"

"You heard me!" I growled. "Ask me why I named this park "Phantasma?"

She looked at me, her eyes filled with horror.

"You built this?" she asked.

"Yes, Madame, I did. Now would you please shut up!"

"So you're Mister E? You're the one everyone talks about?"

Once again, I stopped myself from walking, and turned to her.

"Yes, now please, come along and stop asking questions. I have a lot of work to do before the day is out and don't need you holding me up."

It was quiet once again, and I was able to concentrate on getting to the haunted house to close it up for the winter. It was a creepy old building I designed off the same structure of my mother's house. Some of my worst memories happened in that house, and so I decided to bring the horrors to the people in Phantasma.

"The Haunted house?" she questioned. "Is it really haunted?"

I groaned, and pulled her along. I opened the front door, and hopped into the first car as Christine stood there watching. I didn't sit, just knelt towards the seat, and then looked over at her.

"Do me a favor, and push the green button on the box beside you."

When Christine looked over at the box full of buttons and wires, she pushed the red button, causing the car I was kneeling in to back up and crash into the others.

"Damn you, woman! I said green! Green! Not red! Don't you know one color from the other!"

My temper scared her, and she corrected herself by pushing the green button. When she did, the car I was in whipped around the corner and through the front door. Over and over again, I yelled for her to keep pushing the button. As each car arrived inside, I tied them down, and locked them in place. Though, when the final car came to a haut, I heard a scream…it was Christine!

"Would you stop screaming!" I yelled.

I walked up the narrow track, and saw Christine cowering in the car as the rubber spiders dangled above her.

"Do you know the secret of a haunted house?" I snarled.

She shook her head.

I tugged one of the spiders down, and flashed it in front of her eyes.

"Everything is fake."

I threw the rubber spider in front of her face, and waited for her to get up.

"I told you to push the button, not to take a ride."

"I was curious." she said. "It seemed so interesting, and I couldn't help myself."

"You could have hurt your voice."

Christine got out of the car, and I pulled her in front of me.

"Stay close." I warned. "The track is very narrow here."

Once we were back outside, I shut the door and began walking off once again.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I have more rides to lock up for the winter."

Christine kept her mouth shit, and followed me to the rollercoaster. Beneath the deck where the cars were lined was a storage closet, and I opened it. Inside, I pulled out a large folded tarp, and motioned Christine to come forward.

"Help me unfold this." I said. "Take an end."

She did as I asked, and pulled the tarp until it unfolded. Afterwards, we walked up the stairs that led to the deck, and I covered the cars with it.

"Keeps the snow off of them." I coldly stated.

As I was finishing up with the cars, I couldn't help but look over at Christine who was looking out at the park. She was so beautiful, but I couldn't let myself fall for her…No, that was over.

"What are you looking at?"

"Everything." she said. "It's amazing."

"Well, I never imagined that my life would lead me to waste it on smoke and noise, but here I am ten years later."

"It's not a waste." I heard her say. "It's everything but a waste. Your mind is brilliant, and what you've created here is far more brilliant than any music you could have ever written."

"Do you think I enjoy running an amusement park?" I growled. "I, the Phantom of the Opera, enjoy running a place where others can wallow in happiness? I can't even obtain my own happiness; why would I want to see everyone else's?"

God! She made me so angry! I even kicked the coaster cars a few times before storming down the steps with my walking stick in hand.

"You could have it, you know."

Her beautiful, angelic voice stopped me in my place. Oh, how her words struck my heart like an arrow. I would have believed her, but the pain of the past brought me out of such a wonderful daydream.

"What? Pain? Is that what my happiness is supposed to include? Because if I know you well, and I'm pretty sure I do, you don't love me. Our life, my dear, would be as beautiful as my face….Do you remember that?"

"You were a murderer." she said. "I was scared. But I seen what good you can do. You built this place, Erik, and I know there is good in you."

"There was good in me ten years ago!" I swooshed my cloak over my shoulders coldly. "But you didn't care to see it! Now come along!"

As we walked along the boardwalk, I couldn't help but notice that my stomach was growling. There were very little times that this happened, but ever since Christine came to stay, I hadn't had the privacy to eat. Nathan's hotdogs was up ahead, and I did enjoy such a meal every once in a while….I guess it wouldn't hurt to treat myself.

"Erik, where are we going?"

"I'm hungry. It's time to get some lunch."

I never knew what a hotdog was until Nathan came to Coney Island. He came from Italy, hoping to open his own stand. The owners of Coney Island thought his idea of a hotdog was completely ridiculous and sent him packing. I on the other hand understood the want of creating something completely different. And so when Phantasma opened, I offered to let Nathan open his own stand. It was a wonderful success, not only did everyone come from miles around to taste one of Nathan's hotdogs, but they also poured into Phantasma. I was now getting more crowds than usual just for the fact that Nathan's was located inside my park…

Once I entered the stand and approached the counter, Nathan was there to greet me.

"Ah, boss, it's so good to see you again." His eyes turned towards Christine's way. "And what is this thief still doing with you?"

When I looked at Christine, I saw that her hood was up. She was being completely rude, and I wouldn't stand for it. I flung back her hood so that Nathan could get a look at her.

"She's a pretty woman." Nathan said. "What is her reason for stealing?"

"It's a long story. But to tell you the short version, she's a friend, and came over here without any money and made a horrible mistake. Anyway, she wanted to come make a full apology."

When she didn't answer, I bumped her shoulder to warn her to apologize.

"I'm…I'm sorry, sir." She stammered.

"And honest too. I like her, boss. What can I get for you?"

Over the past ten years, I had the privilege of trying every kind of topping possible. I knew this was Christine's first time eating a hotdog and didn't want to complicate it any more than it needed to be. I have come to learn that most of the toppings caused messes. I looked up at the menu and then back at her. Finally, I decided on the easiest topping and gave Nathan my order.

"I'll take two with ketchup and sauerkraut."

Nathan disappeared, and returned with two strange looking tubes of meat on a bun. I always tried to pay, but every single time I came here, he wouldn't accept my money, and he didn't today/

"It's on the house." he said. "You should know that by now."

I walked outside, only to look back and see Christine looking around.

"Come along, Madame." I instructed. "We must keep moving."

Once Christine was at my side, I handed her one of the hotdogs. Afterwards I bit into my hotdog, only to hear Christine giggle. Why was she giggling at me? We were standing near the maze of mirrors, and I was able to see my reflection in the mirror that was on the outside of the building. There it was; a red smudge of ketchup on the edge of my mask.

"That's not funny!" I growled. "Just stop!"

"It wouldn't hurt for you to laugh once in a while." Christine handed me the napkin that was wrapped around her hotdog.

"I don't laugh, because I'm hurt. Everything hurts inside."

Once Christine bit into her hotdog, she wiped her mouth with her sleeve.

"Good?" I asked.

she nodded. "Yes, very good."

A cold wind blew through me, and I looked up towards the sky to notice that it had changed from blue to grey. When this happened, it would snow…a storm was on its way and I didn't want to be out once it arrived.

"Come, there's a storm coming and I have lots more to do."

For the remainder of the day, I finished up with storing the rides for the winter with Christine at my side. I locked up the maze of mirrors, pushed all of the swan shaped boats into the tunnel of love, and drained the water out of the log ride. By the time this was done, I felt something wet hitting me from the sky, only to look up and see that it was snowing. This scared me, and I quickly finished closing up the concession stand I was working on. When I was finished, I turned around but didn't see Christine standing beside me like she was. My heart skipped a beat as I tried to find her in the dense falling snow. When I saw a cloaked figure standing over near the end of the boardwalk, I sighed in relief. How dare she run off like that! How dare she!

"Don't run off like that! What were you thinking?" I grabbed Christine's shoulders violently, as the snow continued to fall. "You are never to run off like that!"

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it! I'm crippled enough without having to wander around and wonder where you ran off to. What if something happened? I wouldn't be able to fight them off."

"Erik, I only meant to look out at the ocean. I swear this to you."

"Come, we're going home before we both catch our deaths out here."

She followed me back to my flat, where I built a small fire and plopped myself down at my desk. My face was in so much agony, that I removed my mask and placed it beside me. Usually while it was just me here, I would be able to move around my flat unmasked, but now that Christine was staying with me it was nearly impossible to get a moment of privacy.

"Erik?"

It had only been silent for a few moments…why? Why was she talking to me? Was she bored already?

"Hmm?" I didn't look up, and continued writing.

"What are you writing?"

"Closing statements for Phantasma." I growled. "It would do me a great deal if you silenced yourself."

"It's warmer by the fire." she said. "You could come sit next to me and do your paperwork, couldn't you?"

"I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you."

"You look cold."

God! Would I ever get a moment of silence? I was cold, but what was it any of her business?

"I'm fine."

"But…"

"What part of "I'm fine" don't you understand?"

"Would you want me to make something for us? I could make soup?"

That was it! I couldn't take her pestering any longer! I slammed my hands down on my desk, and groaned.

"I want to make something very clear with you, Madame! If you are going to be spending the winter here, I want you to know that you are to stay out of my way! I don't wish to be fed and I sure as hell will not be eating my meals at your side. I'm giving you shelter and nothing more! I don't even want you speaking to me unless told to….is that perfectly clear?"

"Please, turn around, Erik….please, let me see your face."

She wanted to see my face…Why? Why would she want to see my face? The last time she seen it, she screamed and made my heart ache…

"I…I can't…I can't show you my face, because there isn't one to show." I was nearly in tears, but I held myself back.

"Erik, I could look at you without fear, if only you would present yourself to me again. Ten years can change a person, can't it."

I grabbed my mask, and placed it on before turning to face her. Damn her for challenging me in such a way!

"Yes, yes it can! It's changed me! I've learned from my mistake, and I sure as hell won't make that mistake again!"

"But…"

"No buts! It's better this way, Madame, much better!"

The rest of the night was silent; I was even to able to crawl in bed without a single sound. For hours I laid there tossing and turning in my sheets, thinking about my past, but mostly Christine. I thought about her voice calling my name, her hands caressing my virgin body…But because I was a virgin, my hormones had gotten the best of me and I soon found myself stumbling into the small closet sized bathroom across from my bed before closing the door. When Phantasma was finished, and Meg was out of my hair, I usually touched myself in the comfort of my own bed, closing my eyes, and thinking about Christine making love to me as my hand pleasured me in such ways. I would pretend that my hands were her hands and that she was making love to me. For years I had remembered her voice, but after ten long years, that memory had begun to fade…until now. She called me by my name, and now, tonight, I had something I could play out within my head. I leaned myself up against the bathroom wall, and closed my eyes, touching myself with one hand as the other covered my mouth to silence the groans that wanted to come. I imagined that her hands were pleasuring me, and she was calling my name over and over again. With this image in my head, it wasn't hard to finish within a matter of moments. I was so close, but something distracted me….

"Erik? "

I heard her voice, it sounded so real.

"Oh, Christine…" my hand choked off such a loud groan. I was so close and her voice was so real, but then a knock occurred…God! It was real! She was outside the door.

"Are you alright in there? You sound like you're in pain?"

Damn it! She heard me! She heard my groaning! At that moment I completely lost my train of thought, and my erection went away.

"Erik?"

"What?" I growled. "Can't I be left alone to piss in peace?"

"Do you have a urinary infection?"

"I'm fine!" I yelled pulling up my pants. "Now leave me alone!"

I waited several moments to make sure she was completely gone before coming out of the bathroom and wrapping a robe around my body. But where was Christine? In the kitchen fumbling around with the stove.

"What are you doing?" I growled.

"Making tea. Would you like some?"

"No, I'm quite fine, thank you. I'm going back to bed."

I turned around to head back to my part of the flat, but Christine stopped me.

"Erik?"

I paused.

"Yes?"

"Were you alright in the bathroom just now? That's all I want to know."

"Yes, just….just fine."

"But you didn't sound…."

"I said, I'm fine!"

She grabbed my shoulder, and spun me around to face her.

"Erik, you were not ok."

I pried Christine's hand away from my shoulder.

"Yes, I was. Now stop analyzing me, Madame!"

I wanted to be left alone! I wanted to go back to my bed and sleep, but would she let me? No! I tried to pull away from her, but she did something I never expected! She tore away my mask! My fists clenched around my walking stick, and my blood began to boil! But something struck my heart…it was pain! Her eyes were full of horror, and her mouth had run dry…and to make matters worse, she had dropped my mask and was backing up against the kitchen counter. She feared me! She still feared me after all these years! The pain in my heart was so intense that I clenched my chest with one hand and picked up my mask with the other….

"Do…do you really want to know what I was doing in the bathroom?" I choked.

"Erik…"

"Answer me!" I was sobbing now, sobbing red with anger and sorrow.

"Wh…what were you doing?"

"Pleasuring myself…to you…For I know…that….I will never feel the joys…of the flesh. Women only fear me….especially you.."

I had embarrassed myself in front of her…she knew. She now knew that I pleasured myself to her image…and images were all I ever had. She couldn't stay here! Not any longer!

"Erik?"

"Get out! Get out!" I turned around and didn't stop her as she grabbed her cloak and ran out of the flat. I didn't care. For once I had the peace I wanted. I lit a candle and wrote music in silence all the way into the wee hours of the morning. The snow storm that had started out light began to get heavier as each out passed. As much as I despised Christine for taking off my mask, I still couldn't help but to look outside at the thickly falling snow and wonder if she was ok….No! I couldn't think like that! I couldn't think about her being out in the horrible storm, freezing….No! no… I couldn't think like that.

I sighed, and placed down my quill, using my hand to wipe away the freezing cold moister on the window. When my grandfather clock struck four a.m, I blew out my candle, and stood up from my desk. After crawling into bed, I looked up at the ceiling, and then back out the window at the falling snow.

Why? Why couldn't I sleep? Why couldn't I stop thinking about Christine? When I couldn't sleep, I stood up and dressed myself. The snow had finally stopped falling, leaving Phantasma covered in two feet of snow. After placing on my leg braces and replacing my mask, I grabbed my walking stick and left my flat to get some fresh air. Phantasma was now closed for the winter, leaving my park deserted and covered in snow. A few of my freaks were out shoveling the snow as I walked towards the Phantasma café which stayed open all year long for the freaks who lived in Phantasma and worked for me.

"Erik!" I knew that voice anywhere. I turned around, and saw Meg coming towards me carrying her cup of coffee.

Damn her! I told her to never call me by my first name!

"Erik…"

"Damn you, girl! I told you to call me boss! I don't need anyone around here knowing what my real name is!"

"Sorry…" she pulled her coat tighter around her body, and lit a cigarette. How I despised smokers! I didn't even have a nose, and yet the smoke still bothered me.

"I'm busy, what do you want?" I growled.

"So it's true? Christine's back?"

"How do you know?"

"She came into the café last night. She told me everything about how she's stuck here until spring and how you kicked her out."

"And why do you care?"

Meg ran her hands over my jacket seductively, and smiled, blowing a puff of smoke in my face.

"I thought I was the only woman you needed."

I coughed, and backed away from her.

"Stop it, Meg!"

"I'm only teasing; you know I'm not into corpses."

Meg always enjoyed teasing me, even though I hated every moment of it. If there was anything I hated, it was Meg's unfunny jokes and sexual references. She loathed me, and I loathed her all the same.

"Have you seen her?" I asked.

Meg played with my cravat, and twisted her finger within it.

"Feeling regretful are we?"

"Stop it, Meg! I'll have you fired if you keep these games up! Mister E doesn't take shenanigans from anyone!"

"And what? Loose your number one attraction?"

"Meg, have you seen her?"

"Not since last night. I offered to let her bunk with me for the night, but she refused."

"Well if you do see her, tell her that I have been asking about her."

"Should I tell her that you're sorry?"

Once more I pushed her away, and stomped away.

"Just tell her I wish to see her!"

As I walked past the opera house, I couldn't help but notice a snow covered body laying on the front steps. I prayed to God that it wasn't Christine laying there, but as I got closer, my worst nightmare came true. Her cloak was stiff like ice, and her face was a pale blue color. I crossed my arms, and looked around as if I didn't care that she was laying there. Could I possibly let her die? Could I let Christine freeze? How badly I wanted to leave her, but my heart wouldn't let me! I brushed away the snow that was covering her body to notice that her bare feet were black and blue. She wasn't wearing any shoes! Why! As much as I hated it, I scooped her up into my arms, and covered her in my cloak. Damn my heart for feeling pity for her! It was hard for me to carry her with my legs being locked in braces, but I carried her all the way up the stairs and laid her in my bed. Christine! Christine was in my bed. I was embarrassed because my bed wasn't comfortable at all. The springs always pushed at my back, and the stuffing in the mattress was growing rather thin, but it would have to do. I built a fire, and threw every blanket I could find over her body to warm her up. My angel had hypothermia from staying out in the cold all night, and it was all my fault! If only I hadn't forced her to leave…if only I had ignored her! No! I couldn't think like this! I had a right…I had a right to do what I did…she deserved it! And now for staying out all night she would suffer…she deserved it! She deserved everything for what she did to me! Everything…

Ok everyone, thanks again! Please review!