Where We Are

Chapter Eleven

As the kids sat at the table eating, Susan began to fret about Carol. It had been almost three hours since she and Zach had left the hotel and there was still no sign of her friend. She wasn't sure if she should call or not as she knew that Carol needed time to herself, but it had been so long that she was truly worried now.

'Where's my mommy?' Zach asked, looking up from his food.

Susan turned. She had been standing in the doorway of the kitchen, gazing at the front door across from her and holding the phone in her hands, still deliberating on whether she should call or not.

'She'll be here soon' Susan told the youngster.

'You said that ages ago' Zach complained. Susan nodded and decided it was time she phoned Carol. She raised the phone and punched in the number.

D&C

Doug sat in the chair watching Carol sleep peacefully. Her curly hair fanned out around her head like a halo and her left hand was resting against her cheek as she breathed in and out evenly. He wasn't sure how long it had been since Carol had fallen asleep in his arms but knew that the time he had spent gazing at her was one of the best times of the last four years. Yet his conscience was picking at him, reminding him that he had vowed to move on. Alicia and Eden were waiting in DC for his return. He felt conflicted. Stay and possibly have his heart broken if she rejected him, or leave and have his heartbroken with the thought of what could have been. Alicia and Eden played heavily on his mind. His head was telling him to go back to them and make a go of it, but his heart was saying stay and fight for his one true love. He liked Alicia and maybe in time he could learn to love her, but he knew that whatever love he would ever feel for her would never equal his love for Carol.

The suddenly loud trill of a phone pulled him out of his thoughts. On the table next to him lay Carol's cell phone and when he picked it up to look at the caller ID, Susan's name flashed upon it. He quickly answered it before it could wake Carol.

'Hello?' he said in a hushed voice, standing up and crossing the room to the door. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

'Doug?' came Susan's disbelieving reply.

'Yeah, it's me' Doug confirmed.

'What are you doing with Carol's cell?'

'I'm here with her now, in her hotel room' Doug explained.

'Why?'

'It's a long story. Carol's asleep now' he said, peeking back into the room to double check that she was.

'Do you...I mean, did she tell you...what happened?' Susan asked, hesitantly.

Doug's earlier anger flared again and his grip on the small phone tightened. 'Yeah, she did.'

'Oh' came Susan's reply.

Both were silent for a few minutes, both thinking about what Carol had gone through over the last few days.

'She was supposed to come over here. Do you know if she still intends too?' Susan asked then.

'I'm not sure, I'll ask her when she wakes up.'

Just then a soft, low moan came from inside the room.

'Susan, I'll have to go. I'll call you later' Doug said.

'Sure. Just tell Carol I called and that Zach is fine' Susan replied.

'I will, talk to you later' Doug said and hung up. He re-entered the room to see Carol sitting up on the bed, rubbing her eyes.

'Hey' he said, quietly.

Carol looked up at Doug and for a second was shocked to find him there. Then she remembered him turning up at the hotel room and relaxed slightly. After another few seconds, she realised she must have fallen asleep.

'How long was I asleep?' she asked as Doug lowered himself into the chair again.

'A little over an hour maybe' he said, placing her phone back on the table.

'You didn't have to stay.' Carol sat up, bringing her legs up under her chin and wrapping her arms around them.

'I wanted to' Doug said, not looking her in the eye.

Carol hesitated for a few seconds before saying, very quietly, 'Thank you.'

Doug now looked up at her. The longing was becoming unbearable and now that she was awake again, Alicia and Eden disappeared from Doug's thoughts. All he wanted was right in front of him but he had no idea how he was supposed to get it. He smiled ruefully to himself and looked back at the floor. What was he supposed to say now?

'I thought about you, too.' Doug wasn't aware of making the decision to speak, but once he started he couldn't stop. 'Every day.'

Carol didn't need to ask what he was on about. She remembered now, telling him of how he had played on her mind over the last week and knew that, even though she had said it over an hour ago, he was now responding to it.

'I couldn't get you out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. My first year in DC was probably the worst of my life. I don't remember much of it, I only remember wandering around, trying desperately to find something that would numb the pain. Eventually I found it, I got a job in a children's hospital and threw myself into my work. It was how I dealt with it. Slowly, I began to return to who I once was, but there was always that hole in my chest, that knife through my heart and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't forget you.'

Carol remained quiet when Doug finished speaking, not sure what she should say. It was oddly comforting to know that, while her husband was out sleeping with other women, someone somewhere was still being faithful to her, though she knew she didn't deserve it. She had ripped Doug's heart into pieces and still, he had loved her. And she had given her love to someone else, who had flung it aside for the thrill of sleeping with med students.

'I should get over to Susan's. Zach will be looking for me' she said after a while.

'She called while you were asleep. She said that...Zach is fine' Doug informed her. Weirdly, it had been hard to say her son's name. Like as if he said it out loud, I would confirm the fact that the most important person in her life was her little boy and it would never be him again.

'Still, I should be there. He'll get upset if I'm not there to put him to bed' Carol said. She remembered how Zach cried and cried when John wasn't home to say good night. She couldn't bare thinking that he might be crying for her now too.

Doug nodded, understanding. Carol stood up and packed away whatever was lying about the room. Then she hesitated, wondering how she would say good bye to him.

'Will I see you again?' Doug asked. He felt his heart might break if she gave the wrong answer. She was like a drug. He had been deprived of it for so long, now that he had had a hit, he needed more and more and could not go back to being without it.

'I'd like that' Carol said eventually and Doug smiled with happiness. He nodded and they both headed for the door.

When they reached the elevators, Doug paused. 'My room is this way' he said, pointing in the direction.

Carol nodded. They both hesitated before Doug stepped forward and pecked her cheek. Carol blushed and looked down at the ground.

Doug half smiled through the awkward moment, and deciding Carol was not going to respond, he turned and headed towards his room.

Carol watched him go. She couldn't describe what she was feeling in that moment. She felt better than she had in the last few days and a tiny bubble of hope had appeared but now that he was walking away, she could feel little jabs at her bubble and was sure she didn't want it to burst.

'Doug!' she called after him, without really thinking.

He turned, looking at her questioningly and Carol felt like smiling suddenly.

'I'll call you' she told him. He smiled too and nodded. Just then the elevator door opened and Carol jumped into it before anything else could be said.

D&C

The flat was lonely and cold. Rachel was fast asleep in bed and the silence pressed upon Mark's ears as his mind buzzed with memories and dreams. She had sounded so happy. But once he had told her who it was, it was obvious she was shocked to the core. She had passed him off on Zach rather than speak to him herself. How had things gone so bad between them? They had been best friends and now they could hardly carry a conversation for more than thirty seconds.

Mark wished for the old days. When he could laugh and joke with Susan without feeling awkward. When he could play ball with Doug outside while waiting on an ambulance or on a break. Now with both of them gone, Carol was all that left of the old ER gang and now she had fled and who knew when she would be back. He missed her. He missed Doug. And most of all his missed Susan.

His mind wandered back to that wonderful night he and Susan had spent down at Navy Pier. Both having been set up on blind dates, and both having turned out horribly, they had ditched their dates and ran off to one of the best nights they had spent together. Mark had decided long ago that this night was when he had begun to feel more than friendship for Susan. Jen was gone and so was Rachel most of the time. He was lonely but that night he turned a corner, a crossed a line too. He had fallen for his best friend. And even when he threw caution to the wind and told her how he felt, she still didn't stay.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. He reached over the couch and answered it.

'Hello' he said. He was aware how low and depressed he sounded, but right now, he didn't care.

'Mark! Hey, buddy.'

Mark almost dropped the phone. Speak of the devil he thought.

'Doug?' he asked disbelievingly.

He heard Doug chuckle. 'Who else? How have you been?' Doug asked.

Still trying to recover from the shock of his old friend phoning out of the blue, Mark replied, 'Things are good. What about you?'

'Yeah, I'm okay. Actually, I'm in phoenix.'

Mark's mouth fell open his pure shock. What was Doug doing in Phoenix?

'What are you doing there Doug?' he asked.

'Well, I came for work and met up with Susan while I was here. I've just left Carol, which is really the reason I'm calling' Doug explained.

Mark couldn't wrap his head around this. Doug was speaking so calmly. Even in emails over the years, he had never mentioned Carol, and here he was now, talking about her without any hesitation, as if nothing had happened.

'Oh?' Mark said, questioningly. How much did he know?

Now Doug's voice became serious. 'She's in a right state Mark. She told me that he hit her' he admitted. Mark heard the reluctance to say Tag's name.

He sighed. 'Yeah, I know. She stayed with me since it happened but disappeared without telling me. She rang earlier to say she was in Phoenix with Susan.'

'What really happened, Mark?' Doug asked, knowing he could get the truth from his friend.

Mark took a deep breath. 'I didn't realised things were so bad between them. They were fighting more but what couple doesn't fight. She told me a few days ago they were having problems. I offered to drive her home but on the way out she spotted Tag's car and insisted on going back. When she went up to his office, she found him with a med student. I brought her and Zach back to my place but after a while she went home to talk to him. She came back with a fractured cheek bone' Mark explained.

Doug didn't reply for a long time and Mark heard his deep breaths. 'I feel like killing him' he said eventually.

'You're not the only one' Mark admitted. Doug didn't reply.

'Doug, do you think it's a good idea for you to get involved in this? We all know how you feel about Carol and Tag. Maybe it's best to stay away' Mark warned, knowing that whatever feelings Doug still had for Carol would double now that they were together and Carol was so vulnerable.

'I can't Mark, honestly. I thought I was moving on, I started seeing someone else. But now she here and she's broken and she needs help. If there's any way that I can help, I'll do it, regardless of how hurt I might be at the end of it all. I just can't stay away' Doug explained.

Mark sighed. 'I understand, Doug. But please remember that her marriage has just fallen to pieces and there's a little boy to consider in all of this. Carol will protect Zach at all costs. Just don't get your hopes up' he warned.

'Yeah, I know. Thanks buddy' Doug replied. 'Have you talked to Susan recently?' he added.

'Yeah, I called her earlier to see how Carol was' Mark said, wishing he didn't have to talk about Susan.

He thought Doug must have heard the reluctance in his voice for he just said, 'Oh, okay. So I'll call you soon okay. Let you know how Carol is.'

'Yeah that would be great, Doug. And it was good to hear from you too' Mark replied.

Doug chuckled again. 'Yeah, was good to hear your voice too buddy. Talk to you soon, okay?'

Both men said their goodbyes and hung up, both with more to think about than they had before the phone call.

AN: I really should be studying... But I couldn't resist uploading this when it was sitting there ready to go :) I think I might get this finished over christmas and there's only 3 days left until our break begins, so expect another chapter by Monday at the lastest! (earlier if it snows again, like it's suppose too)

Hope you like it! :D Now all you have to do is review :) Please and thank you!