"Loved you yesterday

Love you still

Always have always will."- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

Christine's POV

How I wanted to do nothing more than give Erik the Thanksgiving he deserved. I awoke extra early and began cooking before the sun was even up. I wasn't sure if Erik was happy about it when he woke, but I didn't care, I even asked him to join me. I expected him to yell at me and say no, but he didn't…he agreed, and disappeared until dinner. When everything was ready, he came around the corner dressed in his finest suit, and looked incredibly handsome. When it was time to say grace, I saw Erik's hands for the first time. They were boney, pale and extremely scarred. Oh, how my angel's hands looked so beat up. He told me he had attempted suicide several times over the years and how his hands became scarred because of an accident with a mirror. I found it greatly sad when Erik told me that even his own mother couldn't love him.

Thanksgiving dinner turned out better than I thought it would be. Erik and I ate and held a small conversation… For once, I believed I was finally getting through to him. What surprised me even more was when he offered to help clean up. We stood there by the sink, cleaning up from dinner like a married couple. I loved it, I loved every single moment of it. Afterwards, we retired to the main room where I sat at Erik's feet…When he told me that he never celebrated a holiday before, I immediately offered to dance with him. Holidays when I was a child were always filled with much more than just dinner. I remember my father would play the violin while Raoul and I danced happily in the fire light. I wanted to do the same with Erik, and soon, we were dancing to a slow song that was playing on his Phonograph. He seemed nervous about dancing with me, but after a few minutes that all went away and I was left within a wonderful dream. The way Erik and my body moved together fit like a glove. He was just the right height, and they way our bodies connected with one another's was perfect. I never wanted this moment to end… But I thought of the wish bone and grabbed it before returning to Erik. In my mind I wished this moment to never end…I wished that spring would never come, and that I could spend the rest of my life with him. Who knew what Erik was wishing for, but when we broke the bone in half, it was I who came out with the bigger end. Now, if only my wish would come true…but what had Erik wished for?

I asked him this, but he didn't want to tell me. Why? Why didn't he want to tell me what he wished for? My hand moved from his broad shoulders, and caressed the handsome side of his face. Once more I begged him to tell me what he wished for, but his anger had come out and he pushed me away before yelling at me to never touch him again. He ran to his room, and never came back out…Had I done something wrong? I wasn't sure, and stayed awake a few more hours, sitting by the fire and enjoying what was to be the remainder of my first Thanksgiving. By the time I decided to go to bed, Erik was already fast asleep. How badly I wanted to turn him over and apologize, but I knew better than to wake him. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell asleep myself.

My sleep had been anything but enjoyable. I woke in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and gasping for air. I had a nightmare and for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was about, only that it involved Raoul beating me. After a few moments, I was able to calm myself down enough to sleep again, but the sound of music from the other room made me curious. It was coming from the phonograph, the same one I had turned on just hours before to dance with Erik. I rose to my feet, and slowly walked across the cold stone floor to reach the main room. Once I was around the corner, I spotted Erik sitting in the kitchen with a bunch of medical junk scattered around him; a syringe, a bottle filled with liquid, and a some kind of large rubber band. He seemed to be in so much pain. His wig was off, and his hands were running through the thins hairs he had on his head.

"Erik?" I softly called his name, causing him to look over at me.

"Is the music too loud?" he kindly asked.

"No. Are you ok?"

I took a few steps closer, dreading the thought of Erik possibly trying to kill himself.

"I'm in a lot of agony. I tried the morphine, but sadly that isn't working."

I sighed in relief. I was so glad that the bottle was filled with his morphine, and not some sort of poison.

"Where is the pain coming from?"

"My face." he cringed. "My face is so sore that nothing is taking away its pain. I've been suffering from it for quite sometime."

"Why does your face hurt?"

Erik pointed to his mask. "It's causing abrasions, and they are so painful. I've been trying to search for a mask that would caress my face instead of rub it raw, but I have been unsuccessful. I've been to every costume shop in Coney Island, but they all deal with costume masks, and not ones for medicinal purposes."

"Have you tried in town? I'm sure the tailor could make you one."

"I never go into town. You seen what happened to me when I dared to take you to lunch. Oh, Christine, you don't know how much pain this masks brings me."

I felt horrible. My poor angel was suffering and there was nothing he could do about it. I had to help him, I just had to.

"Erik, let me see your face."

Erik turned his face away from me, knowing what my reaction would be if he took off his mask.

"Erik, please, I want to help you. Your face might bring me fear, but fear or no fear, you're in pain and I want to help you."

"Do you know how greatly it pains my heart to know that my face brings you fear? It burns me worse than any pain I could ever feel."

Erik then closed his eyes, and lifted the mask from over his face. His abrasions were so bad, that I had to cover my mouth with my hand just to stop the gasp that wanted to come. It was so horrible….how could he keep his mask on when his face was in such a massacred state. The flesh beneath his eye was rubbed away, the deep sockets in his cheek were red and irritated, and the top of his lip was so swollen that I was surprised he had even managed to eat dinner.

My stomach churned at such a horrific sight, and I quickly made my way to the bathroom before I could make any gestures that would upset him. His wounds needed to be cleaned out, and I was going to have to be the one to do it….how was I going to complete such a task, when I couldn't even bear to look at his face without fear? I filled a basin up with warm soapy water, and placed a wash cloth into it before returning to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Your wounds are going to get infected if you don't wash them out. I'll….I'll do it."

I pulled a chair up beside him, and sat down. The hardest part was stomaching his monstrous face. I tried to look away as much as I could, only looking directly at his face when I placed the soapy cloth over his wounds. He groaned at the stinging that came from it, but let me continue. When I finished, I kept my glance looking towards the floor so I wouldn't catch sight of his face.

"You…you need to keep your mask off." I shuddered. "Keeping the mask on will only infect your wounds."

"How? How will I keep it off…"

I wasn't sure either, but after returning to the bathroom, I spotted some gauze, and returned to him with the roll in hand.

"I'll cover it with this."

I held my breath, and gently wrapped the distorted half of his face with the gauze. By the time I finished, it looked as if he were wearing a permanent mask. I was cutting the final piece, when I heard Erik say the most heart wrenching words ever said to me.

"I wish I were handsome."

I painfully lowered my hands to my side, and began to clean up.

"Erik, you're special. Your face is what makes you who you are."

"What? A monster?"

"If you were handsome, you could have had any girl you wanted. You wouldn't even have known me. I was a poor chores girl, and nothing more."

Erik placed his hand over mine, and looked up at me.

"No, Christine, even if I were handsome, I still would have wanted you. You are the definition of beauty."

I turned to the counter, and saw the pie sitting there. I smiled, and cut a small piece for Erik, and then a piece for me.

"Here." I placed the pie down in front of him, and took a seat.

I bit into my pie, and looked over at Erik to see him picking at his.

"Something wrong?"

"No, it's delicious." he paused, looking down at his hands. "Christine, I must apologize for my actions earlier tonight. You didn't deserve such treatment. My temper is as hideous as my face, and I must apologize for it, especially for tonight."

He was apologizing to me. Erik was sorry for what he had done, and I accepted it.

"I shouldn't have touched you. I'm very sorry, Erik."

He placed a fork-full of his pie into his mouth, and slowly chewed it.

"I…I…was thinking…"

Erik's voice was trembling like a leaf on a windy day. Why did he sound so nervous?

"Tomorrow night is the annual lighting of the Coney Island Christmas lights. From what I hear, it's supposed to be a spectacular experience. I was thinking….that…I don't know…maybe…um…you would like to go."

"Alone?"

Yes, of course it was going to be alone. Erik wasn't interested in such things.

"Well, you could…but…maybe I was thinking that I would join you?"

Erik wanted to join me? What has come over him? I was so taken back by his request, that I couldn't even speak.

"If you don't want to, it's perfectly fine." he snarled. "I would understand."

"No! I'm sorry…really, I would love to."

"There I go again." he murmured. "Sorry."

"It's ok."

"There is a place we could go for dinner…"

No, I wouldn't let Erik go back into town. I couldn't let him be made for a fool by the cruel town's people.

"No, Erik, I won't let you go back into town. If you wish to have dinner, than we could have it here."

"It's not in town, I own a restaurant in Coney Island. Maybe you've seen it? It's called the "Espoir" which means "hope" in French."

Erik owned a restaurant our of Phantasma? I never knew that.

"Then why haven't we eaten there before?"

Erik began to nervously twist his hands together.

"It's a French-American restaurant that's strictly for freaks and their spouses. No one's aloud in without a date. I have a private table there, but….but never had anyone to bring."

I could hear the emotion in Erik's voice as he said the last line of his sentence. I felt terrible, this poor man never had anyone to love him, even asking me on a date was nerve racking for him. Wait? A date? Erik was asking me on a date?

"Is this a date, Erik?"

"I…I…wouldn't know what a date was, for I have never been on one before. Let's just call this a mutual outing."

"Sounds wonderful."

It was then that the grandfather clock in the hall struck three a.m. We were both finished with our pie, and it was getting extremely late.

"I guess it's time to call it a night." Both Erik and I stood up and walked to our beds after turning off the phonograph.

We both crawled into our own beds, and looked at one another.

"I had a bad dream." I softly confessed.

"About what?"

"I don't remember. I just know that it was bad. I think it was about Raoul beating me, but I'm not sure."

Erik turned over on his back, and looked up at the ceiling.

"You'll have those dreams. I still have bad dreams from what happened to me when I was a child. They used to be extremely terrible, but now they only come once in a while."

"I'm sorry that it happened to you."

"It's in the past, Christine."

For a while there was silence, and I eventually fell asleep. What Erik didn't know, was that I had plans. Erik was suffering because of his mask, and I was going to make it my goal to get him a new one that would protect his face instead of harming it. It was the least I could do after all he had done for me.

The following morning, I awoke extra early, and quietly dressed so I wouldn't disturb Erik who was still fast asleep. After dressing, I took his mask from the table, and walked into town. Erik was tormented because of his face, and wouldn't dare enter such hell, but I was normal, and I was going to make it my goal to get him another mask. I passed many shops along my way, but I continued walking past people and vendors to make it to the Coney Island Tailor. I stepped inside the shop, and a small bell at the top of the door rung. I stood there in the middle of the isle, surrounded by men's suits and dresses. It was then that a tall man with a long measuring tape dangling from his neck came walking around the corner. He was almost completely bald, and had a thin dark mustache.

"How can I help you?" it was apparent that he wasn't from America. He sounded Italian, which would also be the reason why Italy's red, white and green colored flag was hanging on the wall.

"Yes." I smiled, and stepped towards the friendly man. "I am in search of a mask."

The man laughed, and pointed towards the door.

"If you are looking for a mask, I suggest you walk back towards Coney Island. "Constantine's Costumes" is what you'll be looking for."

"It's not for a costume." I held out Erik's mask. "It's for medicinal purposes."

The man took the mask, and looked at it carefully.

"This mask looks familiar, does it belong to Mister E?"

"Mister who?"

"Mister E, he's the one who created Phantasma."

That's right, I forgot that Erik was known as Mister E. But how did this man know Erik?

"Right, yes, he's a friend. How did you know?"

"News get's around fast when a freak gets mugged. I saw him in a café one afternoon many years ago, the night before those thugs beat him up. It was in the newspaper…."

"Mister E is not a freak."

"Sorry Signora, I don't mean it offensively or anything, but that's what those people are referred to in town."

"I don't want to talk about it any longer, I just want to know if you'll help me? Mister E's mask is leaving abrasions on his face. I was hoping you could do something about it."

The man looked inside the leathery mask, and then back at me.

"I think you know as well as me that the only cure for such wounds would be to leave the mask off. Masks are made to be worn for costume parties, not for daily pleasure."

"Sadly that's not an option. Between you and I, he has a terrible disfigurement; to walk outside without it would surely be a death sentence. He told me he's tried everything but nothing has worked."

"I don't make masks, but I will tell you that there is no fabric durable enough to caress such a deformity without damaging it. In order to protect one's face, the mask would have to be lined with a material that would be able to sustain sweat and moister."

"Isn't there anything you could do?"

The man reached over for a ledger, and began flipping through it.

"I'm no miracle worker, because once again, you must remember that I make suits, not masks, but there is a material we sometimes use." he stopped at a page. "Sheep's wool."

"Sheep's wool?" I questioned.

"Yes, if you line the mask with sheep's wool, it will caress his face, and act like a pillow against his deformity. Should work nicely."

"So you could do it?"

"Sheep's wool is used very rarely in this shop, but I could order it. Will be here in about a week, and then I could get to work on it."

"Ok, that sounds great."

"So with shipping and labor, the whole price will come to five dollars."

Five dollars? How was I to get that? It was so expensive…But I needed this badly! And I couldn't ask Erik for the money, no, I wanted this to be my own personal gift.

"I…I don't have that kind of money. But please, sir, my friend really needs this."

The man thought a moment.

"I'll tell you what, I'll order the sheep's wool, and if you sew it on yourself, and work for me for a few days I'll wave the shipping fee."

I smiled, this had made me the happiest person alive.

"Thank you…mister?"

"Oh, Signore Angelo." he held out his hand and I accepted.

"Christine."

"Well then, Christine, I shall see you next week then."

With that, I took Erik's mask, and left the shop. On my way back to Erik's flat, I heard my name being called, only to turn around and spot Meg running towards me.

"Christine, wait up."

She caught up to me, and lit a cigarette; something I was beginning to really hate.

"What are you doing out here alone?" she blew a puff of smoke towards the grey sky.

"Nothing, just….just taking a walk."

"With Erik's mask?" she giggled, and tried to grab it from me, but I pulled away.

"Enough, Meg, that isn't funny."

"Erik's probably looking for it."

"Right, which is why I'm on my way to return it to him now. His mask is giving him abrasions, so I went to fix it."

Meg rolled her eyes, and took another drag of her cigarette.

"Christine, don't you see that he's using you. He's using you, just like he used me. It's going to end for you just as it did for me; with you getting thrown out."

"Erik gave you a place to stay, and a job in Phantasma. He is anything but cruel, and he is not using me. I took it upon myself to come out this morning. He's changed, Meg, he isn't the Phantom anymore."

"But he is! Christine, don't be naïve. Surely he's yelled at you by now."

Meg was right, he had, but he apologized last night…No! Erik has changed.

"Meg, Erik is a sweet and loving person. When I first started staying with him, he was this cold and hurt monster, but as the days went on, I peeled back those cold and monstrous layers one by one and…."

"Oh my god! Christine! You didn't bed with him did you!"

How dare she accuse me of such things!

"Meg! You're my best friend, why would you think I would do such a thing?"

"I'm sorry, Christine, but I'd just watch myself around him. He's pure you know; never slept with a woman in all his life."

"How do you know this?"

"My mother told me, plus you can tell by the way he acts. Can't you? He's too high strung and uptight. Only virgins act such a way, and believe me, as old as he is and being a virgin to boot only make his temper and tolerance level less and less."

"I don't believe you." I scoffed. "Surely, he's done it before. He's at least ten years older than me if not more. There's no way he's still pure, Meg."

She giggled, and put out her cigarette.

"Laugh it up all you want, Christine, but I assure you that no one has ever got into bed with that hideous man."

"Don't say that about him."

Perhaps Meg was right. Which would explain why he was so upset after I touched him last night. God! Had this man suffered so much to not even receive a single night of pleasure in all of his life?

"You see, you do believe me. Tell me, Christine what happened between the both of you?"

"Nothing." I lied. "I…I just touched his…"

"Was it hideous? Tell me, what did it look like?"

Why? Why was Meg cutting me off like this and making things sound so inappropriate!

"Meg! Enough with this. I never seen him naked. If you would have let me finish, I would have told you that I touched the handsome side of his face. We were dancing together and he got upset when my hand touched his face."

"Right! You see what I mean. He wouldn't have flinched like he did if he had sex before. And believe me, Christine, I'd sleep with a dagger. One night he's going to fulfill his manly urges…"

"Meg, Erik would never touch me unless it was consensual, and believe me, there is nothing between us. We're just friends and nothing more."

"We shall see."

"Look, I must be going. I have lots to do today before the Coney Island Christmas lighting."

"So you're going?"

"Yes, with Erik."

"Jesus Christ, Christine! You see! You see!"

"See what?"

"In all of the close to ten years that I've been here, never has that monster ever attended the Coney Island Christmas lighting. He hates Christmas for god's sake! I've asked him many of times, but he always refused. He feels something for you, Christine. I mean, he never ever goes….why else would he go if he didn't have feelings for you?"

"Meg, we're friends. Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't like you, and that's why he didn't go with you?"

Meg laughed. "Maybe you're right. He does hate when I tease him like I do."

I rolled my eyes, and began walking towards home.

"Ok, Meg, well, I must be going. I'll see you later."

"Sure will."

With that, I headed towards the flat, already wondering what I was going to wear for mine and Erik's mutual outing?

Ok I did a lot of research on the cost of crap back then and what not. Found some interesting stuff. Anyway, please review!