3.

We tried our hardest to be quiet as we quickly dressed and slipped out of the house before either of her parents were awoken. We tiptoed out onto Hana's front lawn, both fully dressed, and each wheeling one of Hana's old bikes we had gotten from the garage. It was already twelve in the morning by now and I didn't need to have a perfect memory to know that we'd be in a lot of trouble if we got caught out at this hour. I was beginning to have second thoughts but Hana's excitement as she got on her bike and began to softly pedal down the Tate's long driveway kept me silent.

I had no idea where we were going or how long it would take to get there. All I knew was that it was important both of us were not heard or seen by anyone. As we biked down a narrow alley way I heard the buzzing sound of walkie-talkies nearby and Hana froze and motioned for me to stop pedalling. We edged closer to the side wall of the alley careful not to make even the tiniest sound. We slunk against the wall like shadows praying that no one would come. We were very lucky when after five minutes the sound slowly disappeared into the night. We continued to ride.

It must have been just after twelve-thirty when we arrived at a big open clearing. I was half asleep as it was and struggled to keep up with Hana. She rode a lot faster than I and her long legs pedalled faster than my own which were burning from the effort. I must not have been as fit as everybody claimed. Hana instructed me to get off my bike and wheel it down this next road. I did as I was told and carefully pushed the bike up the uneven terrain.

The footpaths were mainly dirt with random stones here and there making it hard to keep the bike steady. I understood why Hana had wanted me off: this way I was less likely to have an accident and alert anyone close enough to hear. To my right were brick houses not much bigger than my own. Each house had the doors and windows locked with big metal chains keeping anyone from coming in and the gates all had padlocks. Each house also had a huge black cross spray painted across them. I didn't understand.

"Hana?" I whispered.

"What is it?"

"Why are all these houses locked up? And the huge black-"

She cut me off. "Shh… I'll explain later." We continued up the long street up and down hills of dirt until finally Hana stopped outside the house she had been looking for in particular. She gently let her bike fall to its side on the dirt and I did the same. "Remember this place, Lena?"

I treaded softly towards the small. It was only one storey from what I could see. The roof had dented in the middle and the windows were broken, the glass shattered leaving jagged pieces of glass still attached to the edges. The windows and the door were both bolted up and so was the gate. I touched the metal chain holding the gate shut. It had a gold padlock chaining it together and was cold against my fingertips. Gently moving the chain aside, careful not to make any noise, I examined the number of the house. Hana watched me with cautious eyes, waiting for it all to come together. My heart sped up as I brushed my fingers along the silver metal numbers that were nailed to the small wooden gate. I traced the three with my finger tip and then the seven. 37.

I gasped without meaning to any jumped back in surprise. My eyes were still fixed on the small metal numbers. My skin still tingled from where my finger had touched the cool metal. "It can't be…" I trail off at a loss for words. Fragments of my memory return to me…

"It was cold." I said it so low I doubt Hana even heard me but the surprise in her eyes told me she did. "It wasn't long after midnight and was in a hurry. We were running out of time." I paused long enough to hear Hana's quick intake of breath. "I needed to see him." I reached out, my hands trembling in the darkness. When my fingertips brushed against the cold steel numbers I jumped, surprised by the electric current that shot through my fingers and up my arm by touching it. I reached out again, this time for the padlock. I wrapped my fingers around it and held it tightly.

Hana hasn't spoken, hasn't moved, and hasn't even made a sound. "Lena?"

I ignored her, focusing instead on the sudden stream of thoughts, feelings and emotions that are racing through my mind at that one touch. Suddenly tears ran down my cheeks and blurred my eyes and I didn't try to stop them. My heart ached as I choked out, "It was locked." Hana hadn't come to comfort me and I turned to see her sitting on the ground her knees pulled up to her chest and her hands cradling her head. I squeezed my eyes shut blocking everything else out, focusing solely on the next flashes of memories that enter my mind like a dream. A terrifying, surreal dream.

"They've found us." The words come out strangled and I could feel my heart pounding in my temples. "I can't breathe. Everything hurts. So many floodlights." Hana had slowly crept over to me and wrapped her arms around me as my legs gave out beneath me. "They took him Hana!" I screamed louder than I expected to. His beautiful honey eyes and hair the colour of autumn leaves. They've hurt him and I knew it.

Hana threw a hand over my mouth and told me to be quiet. We stood there in silence for a moment, listening for any signs of people nearby; anybody that had heard my screams. Hana kept her hand fixed over my lips and turned my head so that I was facing her. "Lena, listen to me. He's not dead. They didn't take him. He's out there and he still loves you."

I frowned and pulled my head out of her grasp. "Hana, what are you talking about?"

She pulled away from me. "You were just saying…" she trailed off.

I sighed, "All I remembered was a boy who was with me and then the regulators came and…"

Hana reached for my hand, "Do you remember his name, Lena?"

I gulped, "No." I admitted softly.

She threw my hand down and stormed off kicking at the dirt. "Dammit, Lena! Why can't you remember? I thought maybe if you saw this place you'd remember him. But you still don't know who he is, do you?" I shook my head and she groaned. Finally she walked over to where our bikes lay in the dirt and got on. "Come on Lena. We better get back."

Xxxx

Grace watched me with curious eyes as I read quietly on my bed. She sat in the corner playing with what looked like a mangled teddy bear while she continued to watch me. Every time I turned the page my eyes flicked over to see if she was still watching and she was. It bothered me that I didn't remember Grace in the slightest, she seemed like one of those people you would remember even after everything. Then again so did Hana. "What are you doing there, Grace?" she stared back at me with her wide brown eyes. Did this kid ever speak? I'd spent most of today trying to get her to even crack a smile but I couldn't even manage to do that.

I put the book down and hopped off the bed and walked over to where she sat in the corner. I crouched low so that we were eye to eye. She reached up with a tiny hand and rested her palm against my cheek, her skin warm and soft. She held out the teddy bear for me. I took hesitantly, clutching it under its armpits with each hand. It was missing an ear and eyes and a nose and the thread that once made a mouth had been torn out, leaving little holes where the needle would have gone through. It also was missing its left arm. But other than that and the greyish colouring of its fur, it was just like any other child's teddy bear.

"Is this your teddy bear?" I asked softly, handing the dirty toy back to her. She shook her head and stared back up at me with her big brown eyes. "Whose is it then?" It was probably her sister's, although I couldn't imagine that girl sharing anything. I didn't know Jenny, but I disliked her the second Aunt Carol brought me home. Grace, on the other hand, there was something about her. I didn't know what it was, but I just liked her, even if she refused to speak to me. She lifted her hand off my cheek and pointed at me. I frowned, "It's my teddy-bear?"

She nodded, her mouth turned up at the corners, the closest I would probably ever get to a smile. I carefully lifted the bear and had a proper look at it. I guess it wasn't so bad, but how could it have ever been mine? I feel no attachment to it at all. The closer I brought the bear to my face the more I couldn't ignore the horrible smell wafting out of the ratty grey fur. Huh. Maybe it was for the better.

My Aunt had relaxed around me a bit more now although I couldn't understand what I had done to make her tense in the first place. Maybe all this amnesia stuff was really weighing down on her. She had told me last night that now that I was cured my whole life was a clean slate, everything set anew. After what happened with Hana and that house the other night I found myself thinking more and more about my past and more and more about this boy from my memories. The boy with the beautiful auburn hair, the boy everyone was too scared to mention. Hana was the only one who seemed to want me to remember him, although I couldn't quite figure out why. She told me it was because we were best friends.

I realised I would need to do some research on my past. All I knew was that for some reason I couldn't remember my cure date was pushed a few months before it was due. It seems they were in a rush to give it to me. I knew little about the cure, only that it was meant to protect us; to save us from a disease I didn't understand. Love they call it. I would have to do some research on that too. I hadn't been able to get a hold of Hana these last few days and I didn't know why. Her mother kept telling me she was busy.

I handed the filthy soft toy back to Grace and got back up. I hurried out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where I knew Aunt Carol would be. There she was, just look I had predicted and the blare from the living room told me my Uncle and Jenny were watching television. Now was my chance. I took a deep breath and wandered into the kitchen trying to act casual. Carol didn't look up from the dishes she was scrubbing with soapy water in the sink. I pulled out a chair from the table and sat down scratching a dent in the wooden table with my thumbnail.

Aunt Carol sensed my nervousness and looked up. "Lena is everything okay?" she rinsed her hands under the running water from the tap and dried them on the hand towel that she had slung over her right shoulder.

"Aunt Carol, I need to ask you a favour…" Aunt Carol sighed and pulled up a chair beside me and nodded for me to continue. "Can you tell me about my past?"