"Pain is like a river flowing through my heart

Death is like the moon which plays a major part

Love is like a treasure your lucky to receive

Hate is like a curse or a life threatening disease."-Excerption from the diary of Erik

Erik's POV

I woke the following morning, my bandaged face pulsating against the wrappings. I sat up, and ran my fingers through my thin hair.

"Damn this face." I cursed under my breath, as I opened my eyes and glanced over at Christine's neatly made bed.

"Christine?" I called her name, thinking that she was out in the kitchen, but I got no reply.

I wrapped my robe close to my body, and stepped out into the main room hoping to find Christine sitting there, but she wasn't. I was totally stumped on where Christine was, and walked back to my room.

"Now where is my mask?" I searched around my night table, looking under my wig, wondering where it was. It was then, that I heard Christine's voice from behind me.

"Good morning, Erik."

"I've been looking for you, where have you been?"

"Here the whole time. I found your mask, it was sitting on the table."

I was confused, but I didn't argue with her and took the mask out of her hand.

"Thank you, I won't wear it until tonight."

Everything was like a dream and things between us were most certainly different. I was working at my desk, and Christine served me breakfast. How badly I wanted her to join me, but I didn't say anything. As much as I hated the thought of her doing housework, she argued with me and dusted the kitchen.

"I have to earn my keep some how." she told me.

For the remainder of the day, I worked and listened to Christine humming as she cleaned the flat. When my grandfather clock struck four, I put away my compositions, and rose to get ready for the evening. I was so nervous about tonight. I was so afraid of getting angry with her and ruining the whole evening. I locked myself in the bathroom, and fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, my armpits sweating with anxiety. Why was I so nervous? It wasn't like this outing was going anywhere, right? After adjusting my shirt, I placed on my black jacket and began unraveling the bandages from around my distorted face. The night before, Christine had lovingly cared for my abrasions even though her fear was still alive. I looked at my hideous face, and sighed; if only I were handsome. Tonight, I was taking her to the restaurant I owned outside of Phantasma, a place where freaks took their dates. I was so embarrassed because I couldn't take her to a regular dinner. She was an angel, and deserved better.

I placed both my wig and mask on, and cringed at the way I looked. Nothing I could dress in would make me handsome enough for such an angel. After spraying some cologne on, I left the bathroom, only to walk out to the main room to see Christine waiting for me. When I saw her, my heart stopped within my chest. She was so beautiful, her brown curls were pulled up into a bun; a beautiful hair piece holding her hair in place, a purple and black dress flowing down her body, god! She was beautiful!

"Christine…" I paused to take a well needed breath. "You look absolutely breathtaking."

She giggled, and stepped closer, handing me my walking stick.

"So do you."

Christine interlocked her arm with mine, and we left the flat. My heart skipped ten beats as I walked into Coney Island with Christine around my arm. It was such a wonderful feeling. Of course people looked and gawked at me, but I didn't care, I had an angel on my arm. My restaurant was constructed like the Paris opera house, with a lovely stone stair case leading up to its stained glass doors, pillars lining each stair, and gargoyles perched on the roof. I created such a place just so the freaks would have a place to take their dates, a place where they could eat in peace. A tall doorman held the glorious door for Christine and I, and once inside, my most trusted freak approached me. His name was Dr. Gangle. He was tall, dressed in black, and had short scruffy hair. In the summer he was my show spokesperson, and in the winter, a greeter for "Espoir."

"Ah, Mister E, this is the first time I've ever seen you in here…" he paused and looked over at Christine. "And with a girl."

"This is Christine, she's staying with me until spring."

Dr. Gangle held out his hand, and Christine accepted it.

"So you're here to eat? Your table has been well kept and waiting for you."

Dr. Gangle led us down isles full of freaks eating their meals, and listening to the live band that was playing a soft melody. In the back was a single booth that looked out on the bay, with a golden fountain shimmering beside the window. Once Christine was seated, I did the same, and Dr. Gangle placed the menu down in front of us.

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

Once Dr. Gangle was gone, I looked over to see Christine looking around the area of our booth. Her eyes were fixated on the beautiful chandelier that was hanging above our table, and the toy train set who's track stretched around each corner of the restaurant. I always found trains fascinating, so when I was designing this place, I knew right away that I wanted a train track that would travel above the heads of the customers and reach every part of the restaurant.

"This place is so wonderful." Christine gasped. "It's amazing."

I looked down at my hands, embarrassed that I couldn't take her to a regular restaurant.

"I'm sure you would have enjoyed eating in town ten times better." I suggested.

Christine's eyes fell back to me, a look of awe across her face.

"Never, Erik, this place is ten times better than any place in town. It's so wonderful, oh, Erik please say we can eat here all the time."

I smiled.

"As much as your heart desires."

It was then that Christine picked up the menu and began reading it.

"Get anything you want." I said. "Anything, and don't get what I'm getting just to make me feel better."

She lowered her menu, and smiled seductively. "And what are you getting?"

"I'm not sure yet."

For a few minutes, Christine and I sat in silence figuring out what to get. I looked for the lightest thing on the menu, which was salmon and spinach. When Dr. Gangle returned, he placed down two glasses of water, and stood there waiting for our orders.

"Are you ready, Christine?"

She nodded. "I'm going to get the chicken with sautéed potatoes."

"And for you, Mister E?" Dr. Gangle asked.

"Salmon and spinach."

Dr. Gangle took the menus away, and walked away.

"You seem so far away." Christine smiled, and walked over to my side of the table and took a seat beside me, cuddling into my chest. God! This was really happening. I placed my arm around her shoulder, and inhaled the sweet smell of her hair.

"I love this place, Erik, and I love this table."

I had to admit, that from the distant walk from my flat to here had caused my legs to start bothering me, but having Christine here beside me was wonderful.

"Something wrong?" she softly asked.

"The braces are bothering my legs, but it's fine…nothing I can't deal with."

And then she said something that sent my heart soaring.

"Perhaps later I could massage them for you."

Dear god! I couldn't take such teasing. Just the thought of her soft hands touching my masticated legs….No! don't think like that…

"Erik, would you like to dance with me?"

Oh, this angel was making this outing just purely wonderful.

"Here? Now?"

She giggled. "Yes, there is a band playing."

Christine then took my hand in hers, and led me to the dance floor where she wrapped her arms around my tense body. I twirled her around, and did the best I could with the condition that my legs were in. If God had ever given me such a wonderful night, it had to be this one. For once, the girl of my dreams was laughing in my embrace, and flirting with my monstrous body.

"Erik, this is so wonderful." she cooed this into my ear, her warm breath sending shivers down my spine.

"Yes, it is."

Oh, I could have danced with her all night. I never wanted this to end….I was the happiest I've been in over ten years. When our food arrived, Christine and I sat back down to eat. I slowly cut up my meat, and picked at it, hoping my stomach cooperated with me. Christine ate her meal, and looked up at me.

"Erik, this is delicious."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"You have to try this."

Christine was so different than she was ten years ago. She cut up a piece of her chicken, and held it out to me on her fork.

"Try this, Erik."

She wanted me to eat off of her fork! Never had anyone ever let me do this before. I opened my mouth, and accepted the spicy piece of chicken she had cut for me.

"Good?"

I nodded, and cut a small piece of my salmon.

"Would….would you like to try some of mine?" I nervously asked this, waiting for her rejection, but she didn't…she accepted. And just like she had done with me, I held out my fork to her, and she placed it into her mouth. God! It had my germs all over it, and yet, she didn't care. How my heart wanted to cease within my chest….she was an angel sent from heaven!

"This is delicious, Erik."

Indeed it was. Both Christine and I finished and I paid for the check. Afterwards, we walked outside and towards town square where the Christmas lighting was going to happen. Each and every year after Thanksgiving, Coney Island would turn into a winter wonderland. The town was decorated and lit before the townspeople. I never went myself, but always heard that it was a spectacular sight to witness. In town square, there was a giant Christmas tree with an ice skating rink behind it. Christine and I approached it, and watched as some children skated by. But as they did, I couldn't help but notice Christine's sadness.

"Christine, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm very happy, it's just that sometimes….sometimes I wish I had a child. It's moments like these that would make tonight special. How I would love to skate with my child…and…." she paused. "I'm sorry, I'm ruining the moment."

"No, not at all. It's perfectly fine to want a child. It's in God's hands, Christine. Not every woman is able to bear children. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

"I was because Raoul beat me because of it. It's my fault, I was the one who couldn't give him children."

She was crying now, I could see the icy tears falling down her cheek.

"Oh, Christine, please don't cry." I wiped them away with my thumb, and embraced her shyly to my body. "It's not your fault, please, please don't cry."

"I know I should be happy, and I am….but my life is just so incomplete. I haven't a loving husband to hold, and I don't have a child to care for."

"Join the club." I coldly stated.

Damn me! I hadn't meant to say such things, and yet, I had. Why couldn't my heart just let me be! Why did it always have to stand up for me and interfere?

Christine broke away from me, and straightened her dress.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." she corrected herself for no reason.

There were a lot of people showing up to this event, and I hated crowds with a passion. Children pointed to my mask, and people gawked. My heart was racing a mile a minute, and it was then that Christine pulled me away.

"Come on, Erik, let's find someplace private."

She pulled me into the park, and sat us down on a bench facing the Christmas tree. I was away from the crowds, and that was all that mattered.

"How's your face?"

"Hurts a little." I lied, it hurt a lot more, but I couldn't tell Christine that.

"You know, while we're waiting, why don't we play a game?"

"What kind of a game?"

"It's a question game. I'll ask you a question, and then you have to ask me one, but no matter what, your sentence has to end in a question."

"Ok? I don't actually get the reason why we would play such a game…."

"To get to know each other more. I mean, I don't actually know anything about you. I'll go first." Christine paused, thinking about what to ask me. "So what's your favorite color?"

Did I even have a favorite color? I never really thought about it, but I did enjoy black.

"Black. Yours?"

"Red. What's your favorite book?"

"Faust." I didn't even have to think about that one. The story of an ugly old man who sells his soul to the devil to gain the love of a woman….How I wished I could do the same. "What was your wedding night with Raoul like?"

Jesus Christ! Did that really just come from me? Why? Why had I asked that? What in God's name made me think of that.

"I'm sorry." I wished this never happened. "Don't answer that. I don't know what came over me."

Christine looked down at the snow, before gently touching my icy gloved hand.

"It's perfectly fine to ask such a thing, Erik. I've heard rumors that….that you've never slept with a woman before. Is this true?"

Were we still playing? I wasn't sure, but where the hell had she heard such a thing? If there was anything worse than a liar, it was someone who loved to gossip and spread rumors.

"I…I don't know where you heard that from, but I can assure you that who ever said such a thing needs to know the truth before they spread such nonsense."

I tried to tell the truth without lying, but even so, my statement still sounded confusing.

"Have you ever been to a brothel before?"

It was safe to say that I never have. Yes, my body yearned for it more than anything in the world, but I didn't dare expose my body to such filth.

"No…Could we please switch to another subject? I'm rather embarrassed to talk about such subjects."

"Yes, sorry."

"Don't be. It is I who should be sorry. Please forgive me, Christine."

It was then that everyone began gathering around the tree, and the countdown began. Everyone started at ten and when they got to one, the beautiful red and green lights flickered on, lighting not only Coney Island, but also the tree.

I hated Christmas, but being here with Christine at this moment made me love the holiday. They were so beautiful, everything was so bright and beautiful.

"Oh, Erik…" was all Christine could gasp.

"It is beautiful, Christine, just like you…"

"Could we get one for the flat, Erik? Could we get a tree?"

As much as I hated the thought of decorating my flat, doing it with Christine didn't sound so terrible.

"We shall see."

For a while, Christine and I sat in silence, looking at the wonderful lights. When the Phantasma clock tower struck the hour of nine, both Christine and I rose to our feet to start the journey home. We decided to cut through the dark park in order to get home faster, and as we were I couldn't help but notice that she seemed cold. I instantly tore away my jacket, and placed it over her shoulders.

"What about you?" she asked, her eyes filled with such concern.

Yes, I was cold, but she needed it more than me.

"I'm fine. It's my legs that are bothering me more than the cold."

"Do you want to stop?"

I did, but we were almost home. Christine was cold, and there was no since in prolonging the journey.

"I'll be fine until we get back to the flat."

I would have kept walking, but Christine stood in front of me and stopped me.

"I have something I need to tell you."

We were standing in the middle of a dark tree surrounded park, with only the light of the moon shining down on us.

"I had a very nice time tonight, Erik."

"As did I."

"I like the way things between us have been going. Just promise me that it will stay like this. I've changed, Erik, really I have. You have a kind heart and….and I…I…"

She leaned in to me, our faces were barely apart, her hand reached up and touched my cold cheek.

"I…I think I lo…"

She never got the chance to finish, for a manly voice spoke out from behind us.

"Taking a midnight stroll are ye?"

We both turned around to see three men dressed in ragged clothing approaching us with blunt objects in their hands. I pushed Christine behind me to protect her, as the men got closer.

"We're not looking for trouble." I said. "Just on our way home."

"Just on yer way home…" the man mocked me! He had yellow teeth and a red scraggily beard. From his accent, I could tell he was Irish.

"Ah, and he's got a wee little lassie with him too." said another man trying to come close to Christine. I held my walking stick out in front of me to protect her.

"Don't any of you come near us. We just want to go home."

"This is our part of the park." one of the men snarled. "There's a price to pass…"

"Yes, and I'd say it be that lassie."

I had to protect Christine….I just had to. One of the thugs came forward and tried to pull Christine away, but I hit him hard with my walking stick. The man stumbled backwards, and all hell broke loose. I tried to fight them, oh, how I tried…I swung my walking stick in every direction, trying to keep them off my Christine like a hunter fighting off a pack of hungry wolves. But I was a cripple, and soon, my legs gave out and I was on the ground. One of the men grabbed Christine, while the other two teased me with their objects.

"You're a freak." one of them laughed.

The other man used his long stick to flick off my mask. When I felt the cold air hit my distorted face, they laughed.

"A monster even…How dare he have such a beautiful woman."

In the background I heard Christine screaming for them to leave me alone. I wasn't sure what they were going to do to me, but I had to keep fighting! When I tried to get up, I was pushed back down, only for my braces to make a loud clanking sound. This interested the men, for the lifted up one of my pant legs and spotted the braces.

"And he's a cripple!"

"I told you there was a price to pay in order to pass. You tried to beat the system, and now you're going to pay for it."

The first blow came from a metal bat hitting the sides of my braces where it locked my knees into it. The screws dug into my knee cap, and I felt the brace bashing into my leg. I screamed in agony, and soon both men were doing it to both legs.

"Take this, metal legs!"

"Stop! Stop this!"

As I screamed in agony, I saw Christine struggling in the man's grasp as he tried to pull my angel's skirts down. No! No! I wouldn't let this happen! I was pushed face down in the snow, the frozen ice scraping and burning my flesh. My wig then flew off, and the exposed part of my skull hit a patch of ice….In that instant, one of my veins were sliced open, causing the once white snow to turn crimson red. My head was gushing blood and when the men saw this, they backed up.

"Man, let's get out of here…."

"The cops will be after us…."

The men fled the park, leaving me lay there helpless and in pain. Christine took no time in rushing to my side, almost breaking down in tears because of how badly I was injured.

"Erik….oh, Erik…"

She pushed me up into a sitting position, and tore a piece of her dress to press against my gushing wound. When she tried to stand me up, a loud crackle within my legs occurred, causing me to scream. Something was wrong, my legs were not right…..Dear god, what have they done to me! I couldn't walk…..I couldn't even take a single step.

"Erik, we have to get you home."

Christine was frantic. She picked up my discarded mask and wig, before wrapping my arm over her back, and forcing me to take step by agonizing step.

"That's it, Erik, relax…."

I cried after each step….I couldn't walk, and my legs were in complete agony. Christine didn't deserve me….I was no good for her. This could have turned out ten times worse if my blood hadn't scared the men away. They could have killed me and raped Christine for all I knew. A real man was supposed to be able to protect his woman, a real man was supposed to fight back and sadly, I was a cripple, completely incapable of doing any of those things.

By the time we made it back to the flat, I was so exhausted and in excruciating pain, that I could hardly breathe. Christine laid me down on my bed, and tended to my gushing head wound.

"Press hard, Erik. You need to stop this bleeding."

I was weak, but did as she asked and continued to press the cloth against my wound. All I could think about at this moment, was what if? What if those men never showed up? What would have been happening right now? Would she have kissed me? Would she have slammed me into my bed and made love to me? Oh, Christine….

It was at that moment, that I felt her hands on the buttons of my pants. How I always wanted this, but not in this way. I tried to groan to warn her to stop, but she wouldn't listen to me. She pulled my trousers right down to my knees, and threw them aside. I couldn't see the braces, but knew the men had bashed them into my legs. The thought of Christine staring down at my scarred legs were embarrassing enough without having her looking at me in my skivvies.

"Dear God!" was all she gasped before rushing into the bathroom.

I had to know what frightened her so….I hardly had enough strength left in me to breathe, but I needed to know. And so, with my one free hand I pushed myself up just enough to get a look at my legs, and the twisted sight I saw caused me to lean over and vomit my supper onto the floor.

Ok everyone, cliffy…More fluff to come soon! Please, review! Love you all!