"Where is my passion?

Far too much pain

Where is my passion?

Must I love in vain?

Where is my passion?

I need to know

Where is my passion?

I want so much to grow

Where is my passion?

Lost in your lips

Where is my passion?

I feel for your kiss

Where is my passion?

Lost in your eyes

Where is my passion?

Release me to fly

Where is my passion?

There in your hands

Where is my passion?

Touch me….expand

Where is my passion?

Oh, Erik be my man…" -Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

Christine's POV

I had kissed Erik! It was what I had been wanting to do for a long time now. It wasn't passionate, but it was wonderful. His malformed lips up against my own were cold and felt strange, but I didn't mind them at all. How I wanted his lips to indulge every inch of my flesh. When I pulled away, Erik simply turned and went to his room. I knew he was tired, so let him go on his own free will. For a while, I occupied myself with finishing the tree, and cleaning up the mess of decorations I had laying around on the floor. I sat there in Erik's arm chair staring at the tree and taking in its beauty. Erik and I had completed something together, and it was beautiful.

But it was when I began preparing dinner that I heard the most horrible sound. I had been standing in the kitchen stirring vegetables when I heard a soft whimpering coming from across the flat. It only took me a few moments to realize it was Erik making the sound, and quickly dashed to the bedroom to make sure he was ok. Maybe he had fallen, maybe he had hit his head while trying to stand. I hoped and prayed that my thoughts wouldn't become a reality. When I reached the doorway and looked in, I sighed in relief upon realizing that Erik wasn't hurt, and he was still laying in bed.

"Erik? Erik, are you alright?"

"J…Just go away."

I couldn't let him be like this. I approached his bedside, and rubbed his back, hoping he would tell me what was the matter.

"Tell me what's wrong, Erik. Does something hurt?"

Erik sat up, and wiped away his tears.

"No, nothing hurts, it's just that I'm…I'm happy."

Erik was happy. This had been the first time he had ever said this to me.

"Erik, if you'd like, we could go to your workshop after dinner. That's if you'd like."

Erik nodded, and stood up from his bed.

"Yes, I would like that a lot."

Dinner was the same as it was every night. I would be sitting there eating, and Erik would be picking at the tiny helping on his plate. I knew that he liked my cooking, but didn't want to wind up vomiting. After cleaning up the dishes, I put on my cloak and followed Erik through Phantasma to reach the library. It was dark, and cold, but for some odd reason I loved this place. I wanted to explore the library and look at some of the books. Erik on the other hand had begun walking to his secret shelf, only looking back to make sure I was still with him.

"Do you mind if I have a look around?"

Erik stopped when I asked him this, and turned to face me. He didn't seem to like the idea, and looked around before actually agreeing.

"I'll be in my workshop. I do hope you know which book opens the passageway."

"Yes, I do."

"Be careful, Christine."

"I won't be long."

With that, I left Erik and began walking up to the second level of the library. I didn't know where to look first. There were so many shelves and I wanted to look at all of them. Erik had books on everything imaginable. He had Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, books about flowers and animals, even books about love. I could drown myself in such subjects for hours. Figuring that Erik wouldn't mind me taking a book to occupy my mind with, I pulled one titled "Monstre" and carried it with me to the secret passageway. Once the shelf opened, I walked inside to see Erik working on the same pile of junk he had worked on the last time we were here. He was leaning over the pile of junk, fusing some red and blue wires together.

"Erik, what are you doing?"

He looked up at me, and gave a weak smile.

"Trying to fix one of my animatronics for the haunted house."

I approached the table, and realized that the pile of junk I had thought this thing to be was really a skeleton made from metal.

"What is it supposed to do?"

"Howl and moan."

"And what seems to be the problem?"

Erik continued to play with the two wires, but the moment they both came together, it sparked and shocked Erik's hand. He growled, and stepped back from the smoking animatronic, placing his hurt finger into his mouth.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, it's happened before."

After a few moments, he shooed away the smoke and tore a small chip from its chest.

"Looks like a fuse. I'll have to order a new one."

While Erik was distracted with his work, I began to wander around. His workshop was gigantic, and filled with such beautiful things; things that probably needed to be fixed before being returned to Phantasma. Towards the back of the workshop, there was a desk covered in drawings and paintings of rides and buildings in Phantasma. But that wasn't all that was on the desk. There was also a framed picture of me, and a framed wedding portrait. I picked it up, and looked at the people who were in it. One was a beautiful woman in a wedding dress who resembled Erik very much. The man standing beside her was the groom, and he looked exactly like Erik, only without the deformity. He was so handsome….The more and more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was a picture of Erik's parents. But I had to be sure.

"Erik?"

"Yes?" he didn't turn from his work as he answered me.

"Are these your parents?"

This had caused him to turn. He placed down his screwdriver, and looked over his shoulder. He seemed angry that I had asked, but I couldn't help my curiosity.

"Yes." he growled before turning back to his work.

"You look exactly like your father."

"I highly doubt that, Christine. There's a huge difference between him and I, and the biggest one being that he was handsome….and I'm not."

"Is he still alive?"

I heard Erik slam something down on his workbench before turning to me.

"No, he died before I was born. He would have loathed me just as much as my mother did."

"How did he die?"

"My mother told me that he died in tragic carpentry accident. He was a carpenter. Now put the picture down and stop asking so many questions."

I did as he asked, and put down the picture before wandering again. On the other side of the workshop, there was a phonograph being held up by a three-legged table.

"You have a phonograph here too?"

"I found it in the garbage. It needed a new part and someone had thrown it out."

"And did you fix it?"

"Turn it on."

I did, only to hear the sweetest music erupt from it. It played as if it were brand new."

"Erik, it sounds wonderful."

When I looked over at Erik, I noticed that he was looking at his pocket watch and yawning.

"It's getting late, Christine, we should get going, I grow tired."

"You wouldn't mind if I borrowed a book from the library would you?" I held up the book to show him, and he nodded.

"Of course."

The night was cold and the wind blew right through the both of us. When we returned to the flat, I was so tired, that I went to bed while Erik stayed awake to work. I didn't like that he was staying up due to the condition he was in, but he promised he would come to bed as soon as he was ready. I had fallen into a dreamless slumber, only waking when I heard the grandfather clock chime in the early morning hour of five. As much as I didn't want to get out of bed, I had to because I had to visit the tailor. It had been nearly a week since I was last there, and the supplies for Erik's mask had to be there by now. After dressing, I walked out into the main room to see Erik hunched over his desk fast asleep. I rolled my eyes…Yea, sure you'll come to bed. One thing I was glad about was that his mask was laying on his desk and not on his face. Before leaving, I placed a blanket over his back, and quietly left the flat.

It was snowing extremely hard, making it hard to see where I was headed. By the time I reached the tailor shop, my cloak was covered in snow and my hands were numb.

"Ah, I was wondering when you would be returning."

I spun around to see Signore Angelo standing behind me.

"Yes, I came back to see if the sheep's wool arrived?"

He nodded.

"Yes, it arrived yesterday. Come with me and I'll get you started on it."

Signore Angelo led me back into a room with a few sewing machines and motioned me to sit down. He disappeared a few moments and came back carrying a sack full of the white fluffy sheep's wool he had ordered for me.

"There is more than enough in this bag to cushion his mask with. If you need any help at all, let me know."

I thanked him, and took a handful of the soft material to start on Erik's mask. The material was so fluffy and I knew it would surely help Erik's sores. I lined the inside of his mask with the wool, and sewed it with the machine in front of me. I kept my patience, making sure that none of the leathery material would touch his face. When I was finished, Signore Angelo examined it just to make sure everything was ok before giving it back to me.

"You did a perfect job. Would you like a box to put it in?"

I had wanted to give this to Erik as a Christmas gift, but knew he needed it right away. But I wanted to surprise him, and so I accepted the offer of a box, and placed the mask inside the sparkly green one Signore Angelo had given me. I even decorated it with a spare ribbon I had found laying on one of the work tables.

"When should I come back to work for you?" I asked.

"I actually have a few packages that need to be delivered. They'll be ready to go tomorrow afternoon if you wouldn't mind stopping by."

"Thank you, I'll be here by noon."

"You're quite welcome. I do hope that mask helps Mister E."

I looked down at my decorated box, and smiled.

"Yes, I think it will."

When I left the tailor shop, I heard the Phantasma clock tower chime in the hour of eight. The sun was trying to shine through the thick snow that was falling, but it wasn't bright enough. On my way back to the flat, I heard Meg calling out my name from a second floor window. I looked up through the snow, and saw her waving for me to come to the door.

"I'll be down in a minute." she told me before disappearing.

I stood there in the doorway of a run down building who's bricks were decaying, and the curtains hanging in the window were torn. When Meg opened the door, she pulled me out of the snow and into her apartment. Right in front of the door there was a staircase, and on the other side there was a kitchen full of five other women in barely any clothing. They were sitting there smoking and drinking their morning coffee.

Meg, who was also dressed in barely nothing, motioned me to follow her upstairs. The whole place smelled of cigarette smoke, and the wall paper was stained in yellow tobacco. Once up on the second floor, Meg led me past several rooms before entering the last room in the hall, the same one she had yelled out to me from. Her room was filled with posters of burlesque dancers and naked men. The sight appalled me, but what disgusted and surprised me even more was when I looked over at her bed and seen a naked man laying beneath the covers. He was a little older than Meg, with dark hair and a scruffy face.

"Hey baby face, do you have a light?" he asked, rolling over in bed causing his chest to become exposed.

Meg opened her golden cigarette case, and handed one to him.

"You know, Christine, if you still need a place to stay, you're more than welcome to stay with me."

All I could think about in my mind was "Thank God for Erik." I would never be able to stay here. Not only did I hate cigarette smoke, but the thought of seeing both naked women and men walking around made me uncomfortable.

"Um…Thank you Meg, but I'm quite comfortable with Erik."

Meg crawled in bed with the man, and kissed him as the smoke from his cigarette rose towards the ceiling.

"Is that your boyfriend?" I uncomfortably asked.

Meg laughed, and took a puff of the man's cigarette.

"Something like that. This is Roberto, he knows the mayor."

I was becoming very uncomfortable. Meg's night dress was showing off her breasts, she was laying in bed with a strange man, and to top it all off, she was smoking.

"What's that?" she pointed to the box I was holding.

"It's a gift for Erik."

Meg smiled devilishly.

"Oh my god, Christine, you slept with him didn't you?"

"No, no I did not, Meg."

Roberto blew out his smoke, and laughed.

"Well, my little petit, you know what they say, if you don't use it you lose it. As far as I'm concerned, the ugly man has lost it long ago."

This angered me, but my blood boiled when Meg began to laugh.

"That's not funny, Meg. I will not stand here and listen to you making fun of Erik. He has been nothing but kind to me."

"Oh, which reminds me…" Meg leaned over on her nightstand, and held up a letter. "My mother wrote me. Word in Paris is that your husband is searching all over for you. Have you not contacted him?"

I shook my head.

"Well you should. It's the least you could do. You defiantly need to calm the beast before he breaks loose and sends his search over here."

"I have to be getting back now." I said.

"I'll see you around…"

I was never happier to leave her apartment. It was filled with naked women, smoke and sex. When I arrived back at the flat, I opened the door to hear rummaging throughout Erik's bedroom.

"Erik, I'm home."

I called out to him, but he didn't answer me.

"Erik?"

I slowly walked into our bedroom to find him tearing his clothes out of his wardrobe and frantically pushing aside whatever was in his way.

"Erik, what are you doing?"

"My mask!" he cried out. "Where is my mask! I swore I took it off and placed it by my side."

He wouldn't stop turning things over, he was a mad man. I never knew me taking his mask away would make him this crazy.

"Erik, calm down."

"No! My mask is missing! I need to find it."

I held out my gift to him, and he only looked at it for the slightest of seconds before going back to rummaging through his room.

"Erik, I brought you a gift."

"I need to find my mask! I can't go on without it! It's my shelter from the world!"

"Erik, just open my gift, and then I'll help you find your mask."

I knew he wouldn't calm down until I promised to help him.

"No, help me find my mask now, and I'll open your gift later."

"Erik, please, open my present."

Erik ran his fingers through his hair, and pulled my gift into his hands. He tore the ribbon off the lid, and opened it. I waited for his reaction to change, but when he looked in the box and seen his mask, he only became livid.

"Is this a joke!"

"What? Erik try it on…"

"Is this a joke! You think I'm mad! You think this is funny! You stole my mask!"

I backed up in fear, as he came forward with the box still in his hand.

"Erik, please listen to me!"

But he didn't, he came walking towards me. I had to figure out a way to get him to put on the mask, and I knew the only way to get him to do so was to fear him. I looked back at his grotesque face, and purposely gasped before turning away. This worked. Yes, it upset him, but he reached into the box and placed on the mask. And it was then, the moment the mask made contact with his face that he stopped. I sighed in relief, and watched him remove the mask to have a look at the sheep's wool that was sewn into it. His fingers touched the soft material, and a smile formed across his face. He then placed it back on his deformity, and pressed it against his face.

"Oh, Christine…" he closed his eyes, and cushioned the mask closer against his flesh. He had tears in his eyes, and he seemed so happy.

"It feels so wonderful. God! It's so….oh, Christine."

"I made it for you, Erik."

Erik gasped, and fingered the mask.

"You made this for me, Christine?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry I took your mask, Erik. But I had to, I had to do it in order to surprise you."

Erik enclosed the gap between us, and ran a slender finger down my cheek.

"I forgive you….And I'm sorry, oh, Christine I am so sorry."

"I forgive you, Erik. It's ok."

"How? How did you find this material? I've worked for years trying to find something that would support my face like this."

"I talked to the tailor. He ordered sheep's wool and said I could sew it on."

"No one has ever done something like this for me. You'll never know how much this means to me. Just knowing that I'll never have to walk around with a sore face again…it makes me feel so wonderful."

"How does it feel against your sores?"

"Amazingly wonderful."

"I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but I know you needed it as soon as possible."

Once again, I felt Erik's finger slide down my cheek.

"This is the best present anyone could have ever given me."

"I wish I could give you so much more."

Erik stood up straight, and nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

"Christine, could I….could I thank you properly?"

I smiled, wondering what he meant.

"Properly?" I giggled.

He seemed so nervous, and I didn't know why.

"Could I..could I…perhaps kiss you?"

This took me by surprise. I never thought he would have asked me that.

"It's ok, Christine, you don't have to. I'm sorry for even asking."

But I wanted Erik to. Before he could even back away, I pressed against him, and let my lips crash against his. The last time we kissed, it had been chaste and nothing more. But the kiss we were sharing now was more meaningful, and filled with passion. It started off with our lips touching one another's, but turned into something I had never experienced in my entire life. Soon, our mouths opened and I began tasting his saliva against my own. But was this enough to satisfy my craving for him? No! I pushed my tongue past his malformed lips, and felt his own.

He moaned. Oh, how he moaned at this wonderful feeling. My hands wandered over his chest feverishly as my lips became numb against his own. I needed his body, I wanted his body against my own. I unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, and ran my fingers over the exposed flesh.

"Christine….oh, Christine…"

I don't know how it started, but our bodies began moving backwards, and we soon landed against our bed. I fell back against the mattress, and Erik's body fell on top of mine. We didn't care, and continued kissing. His lips began to nervously wander from my mouth to my neck and I groaned…oh, how I groaned for him.

"Erik!…yes…yes..Erik…"

In all my years with Raoul, never did I ever call out his name. When his lips brushed against my flesh, it didn't feel amazing or wonderful at alll. His lips were like acid against my flesh, causing me to cringe in pain. Erik's lips on the other hand felt wonderful, and were soft as if he were kissing glass. He was slow, and gentle, leaving my neck aching for his touch.

"Erik!" I was breathless, and gasping for air. But when I called his name out in orgasm, he softly called my name back.

"Christine…oh, Christine…."

"Erik…"

"Say it again….say my name…How it runs ever so feverishly… against your beautiful lips…"

I arched my back and ached for his lips to keep kissing my flesh.

"Erik…."

But he stopped. Erik had stopped kissing me. I opened my eyes, and concentrated on catching my breath.

"Is something wrong?"

"We should stop." he kindly suggested. "We're moving too fast, Christine. And I fear if I don't stop now, I'll never be able to."

"Erik? Is everything alright?"

He nodded, and stood up from the bed.

"I'm embarrassing myself. It's easy for me to get set off…what am I saying? I'm sorry, Christine. My virgin body…"

I knew what was happening to him, and so I stopped, and simply pressed a kiss to his lips.

"It's fine, Erik. I'm glad you like your mask."

"I do."

I looked around his messy flat, and smiled.

"Come on, Erik, let's clean this up…."

His cheeks turned red in embarrassment, and he nodded.

"Thank you, Christine."

I had to write a letter to Raoul explaining to him about my wish to leave him for good….but at the moment, helping Erik seemed like a better idea.

Ok everyone! Please review! Love you all! I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible, but I can't promise anything because this week is gonna be a busy one with Halloween only a few days away. I'll try not to leave you all hanging for long. And like I said in previous chapters, if there is anything you really want to get in to this story, let me know!