There was a long pause before he finally turned and faced her. He gave her a stern look as his brows furrowed and his eyes locked with hers. "What the hell do y'think you were doin' goin' off like that alone?" His voice was low, but there was an urgency in it as he scolded her.
"Can I talk t'you?" Rick's voice ripped her from her thoughts and Nora whipped her head to face him. She breathed an inaudible "yeah" and followed him out of the infirmary, getting lost in her thoughts as she stood behind him, fury consuming her own actions. When he finally turned to her, Nora's eyes met his.
But they were different now. Distant. Like two large, icy blue black holes in their own little world of self destruction.
"What the hell were you doin', going off alone like that?" Those eyes hardly changed, but it seemed like a flicker of that familiar fire flared in the Irish's eyes as they finally met Rick's on a deadpan lock. Her glare chiseled deep into her face; worthy of a merciless woman scorned without just cause.
"What would you 'ave done if it was 'er?" She answered; hardly any ounce of emotion in her voice. It would've petrified anyone who knew Nora more than if she were to scream in their face. At least when she screamed, she was passionate about her cause. But now... there was nothing. Cold. Empty. Ruthless. Still passionate, yes. But on a much darker level.
Rick had not expected the response she gave him. He seemed taken back and the pain was visible in his eyes at the mention of Lori. He pressed his lips together and then gritted his teeth as he shook his head. "This-" He cut himself off and shook his head more, his eyes widening as he fought back the tears. "This ain't about her! You leave her outta this!"
After a pause, he continued. "We've already lost enough and your suicide mission could have costed the both of you!" At this Rick choked. He quickly closed his mouth and averted his eyes from the Irish woman. It was clear now that he had gone through so much devastation that the thought of not only losing Daryl, in addition to his wife and the other survivors, but also losing Lenora would have crushed the Sheriff. He had barely been able to hold it together the past two days since Lori's death and he wasn't sure if he could take losing another person; especially so soon.
Rick walked a thin line between sanity and insanity. Everything keeping him sane was being held together by stitches. That much was evident in the way he struggled. He lifted his head toward the pale woman and without a word he pulled her toward him into a fatherly embrace. Over the year Lenora had been here, Rick had felt responsible for her like she was a daughter of his own. The Sheriff squeezed her gently as tears started to rim in his eyes. "...I donno what I would'a done...What would I've told the others..." He was weak; unstable.
She knew she'd hurt him. She knew she had struck a nerve that could've crumbled the Sheriff to his knees. But it needed to be said. Lenora knew Rick's chivalry. She also knew his dedication to the ones he loved most. Lenora didn't have anyone in her life until this group came along. And when Daryl had barged his way into her heart, she had no choice. She would put her life on the line to save his.
But when he jerked her in for a hug, choking out those words of honesty, Nora's shock multiplied. For a moment, a sliver of humanity filled her eyes. Rick had grown to be so much more than family to her. He was her second father. The man she'd gone to for direction; for answers and compassion. And for a moment... she'd forgotten how worried others would have been for her.
She didn't know what it was like to have people care about her so much.
"Rick." Lenora whispered; her voice broken and barely audible. She reached up with her good arm, applying a minimal amount of pressure. She hissed when he squeezed her tighter, his shoulders shaking hard as he tried to cover his sobs. She tried to hide the searing pain in her shoulder, feeling blood rushing to the wound with every amount of pressure applied. "I... I'm sorry. But... you weren't d'only one who lost 'er. I lost 'er. Closest t'ing to a real mot'er I'd ever come t'know. An' I ken yer love fer 'er. I know 'ow deep it runs. An' I ken th'pain... the not knowin'... the... fear." She pulled back, looking into his eyes. She was a mess. Covered in blood that was mostly not her own. Her makeup was running down her face and tear streaks now marked her cheeks.
But the look in her eyes was so much more now. So much deeper with worry, fear and turmoil.
"I know... I know." Pain. Fear. Hatred. Resentment. All of these emotions gathered together in her icy blue eyes as she stared at Rick. The truth was bare. She knew because she was feeling all of those things right now. The one SHE loved most was close to being lost at this very moment and she didn't know what to do. "And... I don't know what th'ell t'do." She choked out, tears beginning to brim in her eyes. "I can't... I was prepared for so much in dis world." She shook her head and looked off. "But no' dis... I wasn'a ready to... do this." She choked out a few sobs, burying her head in her hands. "I wasn'a ready t'care like dis..."
But as Nora was busy with her own inner battle, she hadn't realized that through Rick's tight vice grip of a hug, her blood had seeped from the wound in her shoulder and almost coated the front of his shirt from the amount she'd lost.
Rick gazed down into her face and his empathy and compassion shined through. His eyes met with hers. The tears in her eyes mirrored his own. He listened to her words and felt the pain of them, because he was in the same boat as her. There was so much in this world they had not been prepared for and it was hard to deal with. Especially when loved ones were involved. There was a brief pause between the two after Lenora had finished speaking, before Rick lifted a hand up to tilt her head forward so that he could place a kiss ontop of her head and then hugged her one last time.
He held her for a little while before he exhaled and pulled away as he composed himself together. "There's a lotta things none of us could've prepared for...but that's why we have each other." His eyes hardened slightly, to emphasize his next words, "To lean on. To carry each other. We don't pull apart during these times, we come together." He patted her shoulder lightly, giving it a gentle squeeze.
He lifted his head at that time to watch as the group filed out one-by-one of the infirmary to continue their duties for the day. Rick looked to Nora and gave her a subtle nod that told her she could go if she liked as he dropped his hand to rest upon his belt.
She bowed her head, accepting the fatherly affection that resonated between them. When he pulled her in for a hug, she leaned into it. "I'll not apologize fer goin' after 'im when I did or how I did. Y'ken now 'ow it would've turned if I'd waited." She replied when Rick spoke his piece. "But you're right." She pulled out of the hug and looked to him finally, giving him all the comfort she could in one glance. "In times like dese... we'll just 'ave t'be a mess together." She joked, offering a small, weak and tired smile.
When Rick had pulled back and given her the nod, a faint look of protection flashed through her eyes as she glanced between her Pa and the group. But the look vanished once those crystalline orbs flew to her Beast laying on the bed. She bowed her head and cleared her throat.
"Gonna go find Carol." She announced, hooking her thumbs in her belt. "Need 'er 'elp wit somet'in'." She excused, filing out with the rest of them, but not before stealing one last glance at Daryl before she vanished completely.
Rick watched as Nora disappeared with the others. His head fell as he exhaled softly. He had to try to keep it together. Times were starting to get rough and it was only going to get worse, he feared. It was a matter of time before the Governor and his men came barging through the gates of the prison and tried to take over.
The Sheriff stumbled forward and caught himself by the wall in front of him as his eyes folded shut. He clenched his jaw and swallowed as he shook his head. They had suffered so much loss already and he knew that a war would only mean more causalities. Casualties that he wasn't sure he could bear to stand or cope with. Rick lifted his other hand to clamp over his face, smoothing it over, as he inhaled deeply. What the hell was he going to do to keep his people safe..?