"This haunted face holds pure horror for me now

It's in your soul that the true beauty lies."- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

Christine's POV

Despite the horror that played out on Christmas, it had been the best one I ever celebrated. That night, I stayed by Erik's side until he fell asleep and then crawled back into my own bed. The next morning, I awoke early and rummaged through the kitchen to whip up some breakfast. The anesthesia the doctor had given Erik to numb his pain had kept him calm and stable throughout the night, and I knew he was drowsy from it. As I was pouring Erik a glass of orange juice, I heard a screaming coming from the bedroom.

I quickly grabbed the glass, and hurried into the bedroom to see Erik tossing and turning in a feverish fit.

"Erik…"

I approached his side, and began shaking him. He awoke full of sweat, and gasping for air.

"Erik, what's wrong?"

He laid back against his pillows, and sighed in relief. I handed him the glass of juice, and he gulped it down.

"You were having a bad dream."

He looked up at me, and nodded.

"It was of my master."

"Do you want some more medicine? The doctor left a few doses behind to help you with your pain."

I reached over for the syringe, but Erik stopped me.

"No more medicine. I've had enough of feeling woozy."

"But what about your pain?"

"It's not as bad as it was."

For the next few days Erik stayed in bed, mostly sleeping away his pain. Most of the time we hardly said a word to each other….Now that I think about it, he never even brought up the fact that I told him that I loved him. I had said this to him on Christmas night, and he had yet to say anything. Maybe he didn't hear me…Maybe he was so drugged that he didn't even recall me telling this to him. But if he did, and if it hurt him, I didn't want to say it again. Though, he has yet to say the same to me, and so I decided it be better not to say it again, and wait until he felt the same way.

Erik laid in his robe most days, only calling for me when he needed something. Those bastards had caused him so much pain, and I could only be glad they were dead. On the other hand, I knew Erik was ashamed of himself for killing, I could see it in his eyes. As much as I didn't want him going to the New Year's Eve ball, I knew he was going to go no matter what. It had been a week since Christmas, and in that week, we had hardly spoken a word to one another. I had come to know that whenever Erik was in great pain, he would silence himself.

I stood there in the mirror, looking at my beautiful and elegant gown. It was red, every inch of it sparkling with sequence. The necklace matched perfectly, and as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I felt like a queen. In all the years I had been married to Raoul, never had I ever worn a dress this beautiful. As I was brushing my hair, I felt Erik's hand pull my locks into a bun, and clip it with a red diamond hair clip.

"Erik, it's beautiful."

"It was my mother's."

"Erik, I can't accept it."

I turned to him, only to see him dressed in a red suit that was made of soft velvet and a white mask that covered both sides of his face.

"Erik you look absolutely amazing."

"I feel like a vagabond compared to you."

I ran my hand up the velvet of his jacket and to the part of his wig that caressed his exposed skull.

"Maybe you shouldn't go, Erik."

"I'll be fine."

"You're still in pain though."

"I'll be fine. I wouldn't miss this ball for the world. You my dear, look like a princess."

I smiled, and placed a kiss to his lips.

"I can't accept your hair clip, Erik."

"Nonsense, I've had this for years. I was hoping that I'd be able to give it to you one day."

Erik took me by the arm, and led me towards the opera house where the ball was being held. Already, the press was standing at the door, flashing pictures and crowding Erik, asking questions about his involvement in the killing of the two thugs. Erik just pushed his way through them, and pulled me along.

"Mister E! Mister E! tell us about your involvement!" they pleaded. "Is this woman your wife?"

Erik didn't answer them, and kept me close by. The opera house ball room was decorated in bright red and green colors. Balloons and bright costumes filled the room, along with a band playing on the other side.

"Erik, this is wonderful."

"I'm glad you think so. Come along, I have a special table."

Indeed he did. Where the tables were set, he had one set in the center of them all. I felt like royalty!

I stood there beside Erik as his employees came up to him one by one dressed in their costumes, to shake his hand. Erik was a pure gentleman, for he introduced me to everyone that came up to him.

"Do you want something to drink, Christine?" I heard Erik ask after a while.

"Yes, I'll get us something." I said.

I walked up to the bar, only to see Mr. Squelch standing there.

"Hello, Christine."

I said hi, and told him what I wanted.

"So have you come with the boss?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" I questioned.

"Boss never brings anyone here. I was going to ask you to come with me."

Mr. Squelch was beginning to make me uncomfortable, and I was glad when Meg showed up with Roberto. She was dressed in a skimpy white outfit and Roberto in his black suit. Meg blew out a puff of cigarette smoke, and laughed at the sight of me.

"Where's Erik?"

"He's here somewhere." I said, picking up the two glasses of chardonnay I had ordered.

"I need to talk to you."

"About what? I don't want to keep Erik waiting."

Meg kissed Roberto on the lips, and gently pushed him aside.

"I need to talk to Christine, darling. Go find some trouble to get into until I get back."

When Roberto walked away, she pulled me out of the ballroom and into the dark cold hallways.

"You've been a naughty girl, Christine."

Meg took an opened envelope out of her coat pocket, and handed it to me.

"A very naughty girl indeed. This was sent over from my mother to give to you. I read it, and I have to say that it's not good news."

I tried to snatch it out of Meg's hands, but she pulled away.

"You wouldn't believe the trouble you're getting yourself into."

"Give it up, Meg." I growled.

Finally, she placed the envelope into my hand, and smiled evilly.

"Erik's money won't get you our of this one."

With that, Meg walked back into the ballroom, leaving me standing there alone with the envelope in my hands. I was afraid to open it, but I had to know what this was all about. I pulled out the folded letter, and began reading it.

"Christine,

I am writing to tell you I have received your letter. How could you do this to me? The man who saved you from that monster, the man who truly loves you! The ships may not be able to sail across the icy ocean, but by God! I swear, when the spring sun melts the winter ice, I will be on the first ship to America to find you. Yes, that's right Christine, I know where you're at. You think by sending me a letter that I'll let this marriage go to hell. You're wrong, Christine, absolutely wrong. On our wedding day, I vowed to love you until death do we part, and I will keep that vow. I'm going to come over there, drag you out from the hell at which you are currently staying at, and make sure that man you're with perishes and is never found.

It won't be long now, my love. Until we meet again.

Your loving Husband

Raoul"

I slid down to my knees, and began to cry. Raoul knew where I was….I couldn't let Raoul come over here in the spring and find me. I couldn't let him hurt Erik….

"Christine?"

I heard my voice being called by Erik, and quickly tore up the letter to get rid of it.

"Christine? Are you out here?"

I stood up, and wiped my eyes before Erik began worrying about me.

It was then that he came walking around the corner with his hands folded behind his back.

"Christine, I've been looking all over for you. Why are you out here all alone?"

What could I tell him? I couldn't possibly tell him about the letter.

"I just came out here to….."

I stopped. I didn't want to lie, but he was looking right into my eyes, seeking the truth.

"To?"

"To have a look at the opera house." I lied. "I never seen it before."

Erik smiled, and held out his hands to embrace my own.

"I'll show you, but first, how about a dance?"

This made me feel better, and I walked back into the ballroom with him. Once there, Erik led me to the dance floor, where he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned my head up against his chest, and sighed…..When I was in Erik's arms, I felt safe, and I never wanted it to be any other way.

"Tell me, Christine, are you enjoying yourself?"

Erik spun me around, and I looked up into his eyes.

"Yes, I love spending time with you."

"It's nice having someone to take to special occasions."

"I love it, Erik."

Soon, the music sped up, leaving Erik and I as the only ones on the dance floor. We waltzed as the crowds of employees stood behind us, watching our dance. Erik was such a wonderful dancer. His legs moved in sync with my own, out hearts beat together as one as my breathing matched Erik's.

The way we danced was sexual, and Erik's arms traced my body as my own caressed his back. When the music ended, the crowd clapped, and Erik pulled me out into the hall before pushing me up against the wall.

"Oh, Christine, that dance reminded me how much I need your body. Ten years ago, the night we danced to Don Juan Triumphant our bodies spoke to our sexual needs."

His voice was hypnotizing, and my fingers ran seductively up and down his chest, stopping at his trousers, and groping him.

"You tease me, Christine." he sighed. "So much."

"Show me around, Erik."

Erik took me by the hand, and led me down the dark dim lit hallway.

"Erik, this is beautiful."

"Indeed."

"How is it that you know your way around so well in such darkness?"

Erik stopped me, placed his cravat over my eyes and tied it tightly behind my head.

"What are you doing?" I giggled.

"I want to show you something."

"By blind folding me?"

I waited for Erik to answer me, but he didn't.

"Erik?"

I began walking forward with my arms stretched outward.

"Erik, are you there?"

Suddenly, I heard Erik's voice again.

"You're getting warmer."

I giggled, and continued walking.

"Warmer…."

"Erik, stop teasing."

"Step up, Christine."

I did as he asked, and stepped up. I was on a staircase of some sort now, and continued stepping up.

"You're burning, Christine."

I stopped walking, and felt Erik standing behind me. I then felt his hands over my blindfold.

"Ok, Christine, on the count of three I'm going to remove the blindfold.

"One, two….Three…"

And just like that, Erik removed his cravat, and I opened my eyes. I was standing on the stage, and looking out at the empty seats of the audience. The auditorium was beautiful….there was a chandelier bigger and better than the one back in Paris.

"Erik…."

I was shocked at such beauty. It had been years since I last stood on an actual stage. Erik's hands then placed themselves on my shoulders, and he kissed my neck.

"Do you feel it, Christine?" he asked me softly. "Do you feel the rush of the audience cheering for you?"

I closed my eyes, and the memory of my days on the Paris stage came rushing back to me. The sound of them clapping and cheering, the smell of fresh roses being tossed on stage, I felt it all.

"Do you hear them, Christine? Do you hear the crowd cheering?"

"Yes."

"Do you miss it?"

It had been so long since I had last felt such a rush from the audience. For the past ten years I had been sitting inside a mansion doing absolutely nothing, and when I tried to sing, Raoul would only yell at me. He said that singing only brought back horrible memories of Erik, and that I shouldn't be singing because Erik was the one I had only sung for.

"Do you miss it, Christine?"

Without another moment to spare, I spun around, and faced Erik.

"Yes." I gasped. "I miss it more than anything in the world. I miss singing, I miss the audience….I miss…."

"Your maestro?"

I paused, and looked into his mismatched eyes. Yes, if there was anything I missed, it had been Erik. Ten years ago, I took advantage of his kindness, and it was only after I had left him that I realized what a horrible mistake I had made. The question was, did he miss me? And would he let me stay with him forever? Spring was coming fast, and I knew once the snow melted Raoul would be searching for me. I couldn't tell him about Raoul's letter, I just couldn't…not until I figured out a plan, one that would keep Erik safe.

"You mean so much to me, Erik."

This made his spirit soar. He sighed, and leaned in to kiss my neck.

"Christine…" his lips lingered over my flesh. "Tell me what you want? I will grant you anything, anything in the whole world. Tell your Erik that you wish to return to the stage, and it shall be granted."

I couldn't believe this! Erik would really grant me the option of returning to the stage? Coney Island's stage?

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Of course, I still have connections with the Paris Opera house, my dear. Just say the word, and I will be sure to get your name back in Paris's lights."

My heart sank into my chest. After all we've been through, and Erik was still going to send me back to Paris. I wanted to cry, and found it hard to fight the tears that wanted to come. Had he no heart? Had he no love for me?

"Say it Christine. Say that you wish to ret…"

"No."

I turned from him as quickly as I could, and began storming out of the auditorium.

"Christine?" I heard him calling for me, but I didn't stop. I hurried out into the dark hallway where I hid. When I was finally away from him, I slid down beside a pillar and sobbed. I wanted to sing for Erik, I wanted to sing for Phantasma, and yet, Erik didn't have that in mind. No, he only had the plan of sending me back to Paris in his head.

"Christine? Christine, where are you?"

He called out my name, but I didn't answer him.

"Was it something I said?"

Moments later, I felt someone leaning up against the same pillar I was leaning against. I peeked over to see Erik sitting behind me….

"Christine, please come out." he cried. "I'm sorry, what ever I said, really, I'm sorry."

I pulled my knees close to my chest, and sighed.

"I'm right here."

Hearing this, Erik gasped, and scooted beside me.

"Christine? What did I say?"

"I don't want to sing in Paris." I said, hoping I was giving him clues about how much I wished to live with him forever.

"I'm sorry for pressuring you, Christine. I just thought that's what you wanted."

With that, he stood up and held out his hand. He didn't offer for me to sing in Phantasma nor did he ask me what I wanted. No, he just took me by the hand and led me back towards the ball room. Once there, I took a seat at our table as Erik talked to a few of his employees from a short distance away. This had ruined my night. Why was Erik so stubborn? Why couldn't he just open his heart and let me into it? I had only been here a short time, but I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him on Coney Island. Yes, it wasn't a mansion, but it was home… I could sing on stage and be happy, perhaps even adopt a child or two. That's more than what Raoul was ever going to allow me to do.

"Christine, there you are."

I was knocked out of my train of thought by Meg. She was standing beside me, and Roberto was not with her.

"I've been looking for you."

She took a seat beside me, and lit up a cigarette.

"I have to tell you, Christine. In all the years this ball has been going on, this has got to be the longest time Erik's ever stayed."

"Well good for him." I growled.

"Is something wrong? You seem upset?"

"I'm fine, except for the fact that Erik obviously thinks nothing of our relationship."

"How so?"

"He offered me to sing on stage."

Meg's eyes lit up.

"Really? That's wonderful, Christine. Perhaps the two of us could work together…I can see it now "The Phantasma Girls."

"In Paris." I growled. "Erik offered for me to sing in Paris."

"He didn't?" Meg pouted. "Well, that's to be expected. He never lets anyone into his life for very long. He's no good for you anyway, Christine. You may think all of this quality time together is great, but it's only because of the winter. You'd hate him in the spring."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because he's constantly working. When I stayed with him when Phantasma first opened, he was never home. Sometimes I even found him sleeping in his work shop. You may think all of this is great now, but believe me when I say that he's a totally different person come spring time."

"I love him, Meg. I don't want to go back to Paris in the spring."

"Did you tell him that?"

I shook my head.

"You read Raoul's letter. He's coming for me when ever he can get here. If something ever happened to Erik because of me, I'd never forgive myself."

"I know a way to get what you want, but it may cause hell between the both of you."

"Tell me." I pleaded.

"Tell Erik that you're staying in New York. Tell him that when spring comes you're going to get your own place and that's final. He can't make you go back to Paris if you're independent."

"But that be a lie. How am I supposed to afford a place on my own? I haven't a job."

"That doesn't matter. All that matters is that you want to stay in Coney Island and believe me when I say that it won't even get that far, because he'll eventually come around."

"You think it will work?"

Meg patted me on the back, and stood to her feet.

"It's a sure thing, Christine. But if things between the both of you go up in flames, my door is always open."

Those words were anything but comforting, but I knew Meg was right. If I was to stay on Coney Island come spring, I had to tell Erik that I was getting a place of my own. This was probably going to end in anything but good, but it needed to be done.

"Christine."

I looked up and saw Erik standing beside me.

"Come along, it's almost time to count down to the new year."

He took me by the hand, and led me to the center of the ballroom where everyone was standing. But we didn't stop there….no, Erik pulled me out into the hallway, and up a case of stairs. From the ballroom, I could hear the echoes of everyone counting down from ten, but Erik continued to pull me.

"Ten, Nine, Eight…."

Stair after stair, Erik continued pulling me….The staircase was winding, and I believed it was never going to end.

"Seven, Six, Five, Four…."

Finally we came to a door, and Erik opened it to reveal the beautiful night sky. He walked me out where there were a few statues of angels, and stopped me.

"Three, Two, One…Happy New Year!"

From down stairs, I could hear the employees chanting in celebration, and from where we were standing fireworks began to go off, exploding into wonderful colors in the night sky. Erik placed his cold, gloved hands on my cheeks, and leaned in ever so closely.

"Happy New Year, Christine."

"Happy New Year, Erik…"

And by the end of my sentence, Erik was already kissing me as the fireworks continued to go off in the background. How badly I wanted to tell him about my plans to stay, but I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Come, Christine, it's getting extremely late."

I listened to him, and he locked his arm with my own as we walked back to the flat. When we were both inside, Erik closed the door, and gently slammed my back against it.

"We missed the last dance while we were on the roof." he purred. "Would you like to do it now?"

"Of course."

With that, Erik spun me around, and we began dancing. His hands floated up the sides of my gown seductively, as my own wandered down to his thighs.

"I've never had the privilege of kissing a woman on New Years." he cooed. "They say it's good luck."

Erik bent me back before bringing my body forward in one swift motion. He was hypnotizing me…..My eyes were burning for him, and as we continued to dance, my hands began to unbutton his red jacket.

"You would do this to me." he cooed into my ear. "Do you know how much I burn for you too?"

His hands fingered the lacings on the back of my dress before pulling them apart. Once my shoulders were exposed, I felt his lips indulging them as he continued to pull the dress down my body.

"Do you feel the heat of our urges, Christine?"

My fingers pulled apart his shirt right before crashing my chest against his own.

"Oh, Christine, pure fire engulfs our bodies."

"Indeed it does."

Our backs soon hit the mattress of my bed, with me fingering the buttons of his trousers. We lay there kissing as I tore them away, and felt beneath him for the one object that brought me pure pleasure. But I wanted to do something different, something I never did with Raoul before. I wanted to show him what pure pleasure was…. I trailed my kisses from his neck, all the way down to his chest before moving lower. He gasped and groaned every time my mouth moved lower, and once it was right over his member, I took him fully into my mouth. I had always been disgusted with Raoul, and never tried new things with him simply because the pleasure I received from making love to him wasn't pleasure at all. Raoul was also very rough and in control, not like Erik, Erik gave as much as he got…..

With Raoul, I just laid back and cringed at what ever he did with me, but with Erik I was different. I wanted to explore, I wanted to try everything possible…..and tonight I was doing just that. I know I was supposed to bring up the fact about being on my own, but I couldn't…not tonight. I had plenty of other nights to tell him….It was only January and I had up until April. I gave him pleasure, and then he did the same to me…..And when we couldn't take anymore teasing, we both indulged ourselves into the bliss of love making. Erik laid there on his back as I rode him; Erik pleading me to never stop. It was wonderful, and even longer than our first attempt had been.

And after several moments of kissing one another after finishing, we both fell asleep naked in one another's arms. But as I fell asleep that night, all I could wonder was how Erik could want to send me back to Paris after experiencing something like this? I didn't care, I loved him all the same, and could only hope he would have a change of heart come April…..

Ok everyone, Please review! More fluff to come!