No one understood, Hanna thought, as she pushed her key into the lock and stepped inside. She had spent her whole life crushing on Sean, wishing she had been pretty enough for him, skinny enough for him, popular enough for him. And now she was. And sure, things weren't perfect, weren't how she imagined they would be – but life wasn't a fairytale, and Hefty Hanna was hardly a princess, despite what the kids at school thought.

And yes, okay, she got that had this been Aria, or Spencer, or Emily that Lucas was right, that she would've told them to leave whoever it was who had treated them like that. But he was drunk. That wasn't Sean. Sure, he could get angry at her sometimes, but never like that. And if she could just see him tonight, maybe she could convince herself that she was one hundred percent right. Besides, the house was still giving her the creeps. It was way too empty without her mom, and way too full with the possibility of A.

Checking out her window, she saw that Lucas must have left to go home – and grudgingly she admitted that it was still quite nice of him to make sure she had gotten home, even when she was in uber bitch mode. Stepping out onto her front steps she dialed Sean's number. When he finally picked up, on the sixth ring, all she had to say to him was:

"So, where's the party?"

After getting the address, she ran up to her room to quickly change, flicking every light on behind her warily. She called a cab, and ten minutes later was on her way to her boyfriend wearing cute silver pumps, her dark skinny jeans, and a sleeveless, shimmering blue top that had always reminded her of the midnight sky.

When she got to the party, she found Sean playing beer pong with a bunch of guys on the team. She sidled up under his arm, her very own personal spot, and watched them play their last round. Sean lost, but declared that everyone was a winner in this game.

"Hanna," Sean said to her, as he was pouring her a drink, "I found an empty room upstairs for us. Let's go."

"Okay, just to talk though, Sean," she said, allowing him to tug her up by her hand.

When they got in the room, he had shut the door and pushed her back up against it. Before she knew it, his beer soaked tongue was pressing behind her teeth, jabbing and moving with the grace of an elephant. One of his hands made its way up under her shirt, not even skimming her stomach, but grabbing and groping at her breast through her little black bra.

"Sean," she said, as she pushed him away gently by the chest. "Sean, no, not like this."

"Come on, Hanna. You've been the one pressuring me. Well, here I am. What are you, some sort of tease?" he questioned her.

"I'm not a tease, Sean," she snapped. "I just don't want my first time to be some hazy memory you try to remember over the daze of your headache tomorrow."

"Oh, please. Your first time? The way you were coming after me, I have a hard time believing that," he said with a false gentility, fisting his hand in her hair. "It's now or never, Hanna."

He began kissing her again, and she almost choked on the taste of the beer. She had always been much more of a vodka cooler kind of girl. She tried to push him away again, but he held her hands and when she tried to talk, only kissed her harder, splitting her lip with his clumsy teeth. Suddenly she realized it was now or never. With the heel of her sparkly pump, she jabbed down into his foot and he fell back from her, hopping in pain.

"I choose never, Sean," she said, opening the door and leaving.

"Fine by me, Hefty Hanna. Oh, and good luck getting home. You're not gonna crash my car this time, you crazy bitch," he shouted through the door, jangling what had to be his keys.

Swearing, Hanna made her way through the party downstairs, running her tongue over her bleeding lip. There was no one here she wanted to see her like this. Her only hope leaving had been that Sean, as usual, had left his car keys in his jacket. But clearly that was no longer an option. She couldn't call her mom. She would give her hell for this. Out drinking on school night, even though she hadn't had a sip of her drink which was still sitting untasted on the floor next the wooden door she had slammed on her way out.

Checking her watch, she saw that it was now well past midnight. She couldn't call Spencer, she'd be asleep. Emily, if she even caught her, wouldn't risk sneaking out to come get her. And Aria, well, she had been vanishing at the oddest hours lately (Hanna suspected a new boyfriend, but what did she know?)

There was only one person who stood out in her mind. The same boy she had just defended Sean to. The one she had giving hell to for doing nothing but caring. The same boy, who now, she had no choice but to call since she only had three dollars in her little purse.