"Lost in love is all I feel

Without you life just isn't real

To taste your lips against my own

Is all I need to make me moan.

Your beauty is forever there

Beneath the flesh

Within your heart is care.

Let me now forever be in your life

Erik, I ache to be your living wife…"- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

Christine's POV

I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. I had been taking care of Erik hand and foot because of his aching head. I wasn't sure why, but I had begun throwing up every single morning. I was sure it was the stomach flu, but when I began to feel pain, I knew it was something worse. I let it go thinking it was something I ate, but things were about to change. I awoke one night feeling wet and sticky, and I wasn't sure why. Not only that, but my stomach was in the worst agony possible. I called for Erik, oh, how I called for him. It didn't take long for him to pull back the covers and realize that I was bleeding. I was so afraid, so afraid that I was going to die, but Erik scooped me up into his arms, and carried me to the infirmary. I didn't want him to leave my side, but he did, and I couldn't do a thing about it. I was feeling so woozy, and soon, felt a needle prick my arm.

When I awoke the first time, Erik was sitting at my bedside. I tried to convince him that I had the stomach flu, but he wouldn't have any of it. I still felt woozy, and soon passed out once more. When I awoke this time, Erik was no where to be found, and the doctor was standing over me.

"How do you feel?" he calmly asked.

How did I feel? I paused, still feeling a slight pain in my stomach. It wasn't as bad as before, but it was still unbearable.

"I'm in a little pain." I told him. "Where's Mister E?"

I sat up on my elbows, and looked around the little space around my bed hoping Erik was close by.

"He's asleep. One of the nurses suggested that he lay down for a while until you wake. I'm glad, because I wanted to talk to you alone."

"Can I go home?"

"Not yet, we still want to keep a close eye on you, but your test results came back."

"So you know what's wrong with me?" I asked.

He nodded, and paused, which made me unbearably anxious.

"Christine, I must ask you something."

I could only imagine what was wrong with me, but I hoped it was the stomach flu and nothing more.

"How long have you known?"

"About what?"

I wasn't sure what the doctor meant, but I could assure him that I had no idea there was something wrong with me.

"How long have you been throwing up?"

I sat back and thought about it. It couldn't have been more than a week.

"A week ago. It was only in the morning, and afterwards I would feel fine."

"And have you been intimate with anyone?"

Where was this going? God! Had Erik hurt me in someway?

"Has Mister E hurt me in any way?" I gasped. "If that's what it is, he can never know, it will break his heart."

"Christine, you're pregnant."

Those words, those wonderful words brought tears to my eyes. I was pregnant! How could this be? I had been trying for a child the past ten years, and wasn't able to conceive once…..Then it hit me; it wasn't me….it was never me, it was Raoul! Raoul was the one who couldn't conceive, not me. Erik, my wonderful Erik had been able to impregnate me. I was crying tears of joy, pure wonderful tears of joy. I was going to have a child!

"Are you ok?"

The doctor pulled me out of my happiness, and I nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine….is the baby ok?"

"Yes, the baby is fine. Though, I'd like to see you at least once a month until your child is born, just to make sure things are ok."

"Does he know? Have you told him?"

The doctor shook his head.

"I haven't told him anything."

"Don't. I want to tell him."

"Tell me what?"

It was then that Erik appeared from behind the white privacy drape carrying a cup of tea.

The doctor smiled, and turned to him.

"I'll leave you two to your privacy."

When he left, Erik took a seat at my bedside, and ran his fingers through his disheveled wig.

"You're crying." he said. "Is everything ok?"

How was I going to tell Erik that he fathered a child with me? He would surely be upset if he knew….But maybe now he would let me stay with him. Maybe now he would let me stay with him forever. We could raise a family together and live happily ever after.

"Yes, everything is fine, I'm just happy."

"Happy about what? You're in the hospital, Christine."

"Erik, I need to tell you something, something I hope you can find to be a positive thing."

"Did I do something, Christine? Did I hurt you?"

"No, but my test results came back."

Erik anxiously leaned forward in his chair.

"And?"

"I'm….Erik, I'm pregnant."

What ever color he had within his pale cheeks left the moment I told him. His mouth dropped slightly open, and he stood up from his seat. He instantly dropped to his knees, and pressed onto my hand.

"Forgive me, Christine. Please forgive Erik for doing such a thing. This is all my fault….I would have never…."

"Erik? I'm happy. I've tried to have a baby for ten years, and Raoul blamed it not happening on me…. It's him, Erik, he couldn't give me a child, but you….Please say you're not upset?"

"Upset? How do you expect me not to be upset, Christine?" he growled. "I did something I shouldn't have done! I not only took you on more than one occasion, but now I impregnated you. I impregnated a married woman with my bastard child."

Erik was in tears now. He was sobbing into the sheets of my bed.

"I…I have a plan…Yes…"

He stood up, and fixed the collar of his shirt.

"You'll go back to Paris, and….and pull it off as Raoul's…."

"No!" I cried. "I won't do that."

"I'll send checks. I'll give you all that I have…..Raoul never has to know what happened between us."

This was turning out to be even worse than I thought. Erik not only wanted me to go back to Raoul, but he wanted me to act as if nothing ever happened between us and Raoul was my child's father. No! I wanted this child, and I wanted Erik to be its father!

Erik's back was turned towards me, and I could still hear him crying.

"Don't you ever stop and think about what the future could be for you, Erik?" I coldly asked.

"You told me you couldn't conceive children!" Erik cried. "And like a fool I took you thinking everything would be fine."

"I didn't know it was Raoul, Erik. Please don't blame this on me!"

"I'm not. It's not your fault, it's mine."

"It tis no one's fault. Do you hear me, no ones. We both made love, and out of love a child was created. I want this child, Erik, please say you want it too."

"You don't know what you're asking for."

I grabbed Erik's hands, and embraced them close to my heart.

"Yes, I do, Erik. Please let us work things out."

"How, Christine? How are we to work things out? What? You send the child here on weekends and let Raoul know what happened between us? Do you wish for him to know that you had me? You're married!"

"I don't want to be! Not anymore, not to Raoul."

"That's a shame."

"I'm having your baby. Doesn't that mean a thing to you, Erik? You're going to have a child, one who can be a heir to you, one that can take over Phantasma."

"What? One to relive the life I lived? One that would be tormented among people? You're bearing a monster, Christine. A monster! Do you hear me!"

When Erik stormed away I felt a thousand shards of glass tear my heart open. I didn't know where he went, but he didn't return for the remainder of the night, nor did he come to take me home the following morning. When I returned to the flat, Erik was no where to be found. I was told to stay in bed for a few days, and so I crawled right into it, not caring one bit about what Erik said. I was pregnant, and I was happy. It had taken me ten years for this to happen, and I wasn't giving it up for anything in the world. But when I thought about Erik, and his attitude towards this child, I cried.

He wanted to pass this child off as Raoul's. He didn't even care that he helped create this child…checks and money meant nothing to me! I wanted him to be there for this child just as much as I was going to be there for it. A little while later, I heard the door open, and footsteps enter.

I laid there silently crying within the comfort of my blankets, listening to the sound of Erik walking around. At one point, Skimbleshanks jumped up in my lap, and cuddled beside me.

"You're mad at me?"

I heard Erik's voice from the doorway, but I didn't dare look at him with my tear soaked eyes.

"Christine, you know that my temper gets the best of me sometimes."

His voice was calm and soothing, but I didn't look over at him. I had a right to be mad.

"I will make things better, Christine. I will find you a way out of this if it's the last thing I do."

"By passing your own flesh and blood off as Raoul's?" I cried. "By making me go back to Paris and live with a man who beats me for entertainment?"

"Christine…"

"No, Erik, no! By sending me back to Raoul is doing nothing but signing my death certificate. Is that what you want, Erik? For your child to be beaten by a man who isn't even his father? To put your child in the arms of harm's way?"

I finally found the courage to look at him, only to see him standing in the doorway with a small stuffed monkey in his hands.

"What is that?"

Erik looked down at the stuffed animal, and then back at me. He approached me, and placed it in my hands.

"Erik's temper is terrible at times, Christine. He even says things that he doesn't mean. You're married, Christine, and these things shouldn't happen to married women."

"You're not happy about this child, Erik, I can see it in your eyes."

"I'll be there for you, Christine, I promise."

"That's it?"

"Don't anger me, Christine."

"No! You think by coming in here and giving me a stuffed toy will calm me down. No, it won't, Erik! I love you! Do you understand that? I fucking love you…."

Erik didn't say a word, and kept his gaze down at his feet.

"So did I….once."

"Erik…."

"No, Christine, do you know what they did to me? I thought you would have loved me back in Pairs, I thought we would have started a life together, get married…..I would have been satisfied with just that, Christine! I wouldn't have touched you, never! But no, you left me, you left me with the Mob! They almost killed me, and yet, I was shipped here to live alone! I cried every night, Christine! Every single night, hoping you would return. As much as I try to forget what you did to me long ago, I can't get it out of my head."

I sobbed into my hands, and pounded the pillows on my bed. Why? Why didn't I stay with him long ago?

Erik sat down, and took my left hand into his own.

"Do you see this, Christine?" he fingered my gold wedding band. "This is a reminder of the marriage that should have been mine. You say you love me, and yet you still wear his ring."

I couldn't take it anymore! I tore off the wedding band I hadn't removed since it was placed on my finger ten years ago, and threw it across the room.

"There! It's gone! I don't love him any longer, Erik, I love you and only you."

"No, don't lie to yourself."

I wasn't lying. I had to do something, something that would truly make Erik change his mind. And then it came to me.

"I love you, Erik." I reached out for his mask, and tore it away. His face was horribly disfigured, but as I stared and didn't turn away, I knew my love for him was true.

"Body and soul…."

And then I kissed him. I kissed him all over the disfigurement on his face. Months ago I would have never done such a thing, but as I was doing it now, it didn't bother me at all. It felt like rough sandpaper against my lips, but it wasn't revolting after all.

He cried, oh, how he cried as my lips traced over his marred flesh.

"You're….you're not screaming." he cried.

"No, I love you, Erik….No more screams. Not now and not ever….not anymore."

He took my hand into his own, and placed it against his chest. His heart beat wildly against the palm of my hand, and I looked him in his mismatched eyes.

"I love you, Erik."

It was then that Erik laid me down, and began kissing me. Our tears mingled with one another's as our love flourished.

"I'm still nervous." he cooed.

"About what."

I ran my fingers over the black hair of his wig, as he looked down at me with uncertainty.

"Many things, including this child."

"Everything will be ok, Erik." I assured.

"I will think of something, Christine. We'll work things out one way or another."

"Does this mean you're not sending me back to Paris in the spring?"

Erik stood to his feet, and straightened his shirt.

"We'll discuss what's best for you when the time comes. For now, I must get to work. It's nearly February and I have yet to prepare new posters for opening day of Phantasma."

I didn't like his answer, but now that he knew I loved him, perhaps he would find some love within his heart to forgive me.

"You rest, mon ange, the baby needs it."

He covered me up, and walked out the room leaving me still holding the stuffed monkey. It was so cute, and I knew our child would love it. I sat it on the night table, and petted Skimbleshanks. For days neither Erik or myself discussed the child growing within me. It was as if it were happening, but we weren't bothering with it for the time being. Though, Erik had begun treating me differently. He didn't acknowledge the pregnancy, but made sure that I was eating, and kept me comfortable. He would work at his desk until the early hours of the morning, but in those hours before he would go to bed, he would check on me. Maybe he wasn't happy about this baby, but he certainly took great care of me. I stayed in bed like the doctor told me to, and when I finally felt strong enough to wander about, I decided to take a trip into town. Erik was busy at his workshop, but made me breakfast and kissed me goodbye, saying he would return to the flat at sun set.

I had been able to preoccupy myself with reading, but now that the snow had begun melting, I wanted to breathe in the fresh air. Figuring that it wouldn't hurt, I threw on my cloak, and headed outside. Everything was draped in red and pink, with heart shaped decorations lining the town bazaar. I didn't know the reason for this, and figured it was just the way Coney Island looked in February.

"Christine?"

I heard my name being called, only to turn and see Meg headed towards me carrying a few groceries.

"Hi, Meg."

"It's been ages, Christine. Where have you been? I thought perhaps Erik found you a passage back to Paris."

I giggled, and began walking with her.

"No, I've been ill….it's a great sort of ill though."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't tell anyone, Meg, because it would have the press on Erik's back."

She smiled, excited to hear what I was about to say.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant."

Meg's jaw dropped, and she pulled me away from the crowds to a boarded up abandoned shop.

"What? Christine, don't tease."

"I'm not, it's true, Meg."

"Did you get rid of it?"

This angered me. My happy attitude suddenly changed into one filled with pure hostility.

"Meg, how could you even think I would do such a thing?"

Meg rolled her eyes, and gave me this "What are you an idiot" look.

"Um because he's hideous. Do you want your child coming out looking like he does? That's enough to scare anyone away."

"Meg, it's a possibility that our child could come out looking like Erik, but even if it did, I wouldn't hate our baby."

"How did he take the news?"

"I wish I could say he was happy about it, but he's not. He's been taking a great amount of care of for me and this child. It's strange…."

"What?"

"It's like he's taken care of a pregnant woman before. He knows everything from what foods are good for me to eat, down to how much I'm supposed to be eating."

"A lot." Meg laughed.

"Meg, I'm being serious."

"Well Christ, Christine, all the man does is read. He knows everything about everything. It annoyed the living hell out of me when I was taking care of him after his injury. I would water his plants, and he would sit in his bed and criticize me and tell me that I was doing it wrong. I mean, how hard is it to water plants? And yet, he swore on his life that I was doing it wrong."

I giggled.

"That defiantly sounds like Erik."

"Don't even get me started on meals. God, when I had to cook for that man all he did was complain as I cooked it. I was either adding too much sugar, or stirring the vegetables too long. I was never so happy to leave his flat and get out on my own. I don't know how you tolerate such nonsense, Christine."

"He's not so bad once you get to know him."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I love him, Meg. There was a time I wasn't so sure if I did, but I can look in his eyes and not turn away. He's so…so beautiful, Meg."

"Why are you getting yourself so excited over him, Christine? You're married, remember? Where is your ring?"

I looked down at my bare finger, and hid my hand behind my back.

"I…I don't know what you're talking about."

"You took off Raoul's ring, didn't you?"

She pulled my hand with her own, and looked at my ringless finger.

"Christine, you did!"

"It was upsetting Erik." I replied, pulling my hand out of her grip.

She laughed.

"Oh, right….it was reminding him that you're married."

"It wasn't right to keep wearing a ring for someone I no longer loved. I'm going to figure out a way to get out of my marriage with Raoul, and marry Erik."

"Good luck with that, Christine. I believe it's going to be very hard, especially when Raoul isn't willing to let things be as they are. And this pregnancy with Erik is only going to make things worse. You don't want to see him get hurt, and yet, when Raoul finds out who the father of that child is, he's going to do more than hurt him…"

"He's not going to find out, ok. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep things as they are. I have until spring, right? Just leave things as they are until I need to do otherwise."

"That's fine. Hey, I have to get going, I still need to get Roberto something for Valentine's day."

"Valen what?"

"Valentine's day. It's only a few days away, Christine."

"What is that?"

"Don't you and Raoul ever celebrate it? It's a day of love, Christine. That's why everything in town is heart shaped or pink and red."

I shook my head. Meg groaned, and pulled me back into the crowds of people.

"Must I teach you everything? Valentine's day in America is a day when lovers celebrate their love by giving each other gifts and spending time together."

"What kind of gifts?"

"Oh, small things like….chocolate for men, and flowers and jewelry for women. Roberto booked us a reservation at Coney Island's finest restaurant, and then he's taking me to the Statue of Liberty. It's going to be great….I bought him a box of his favorite chocolates, and I'm going to make love to…."

"Enough, Meg, leave out the details."

"Sorry. Oh, but I wouldn't celebrate it with Erik."

"Why?"

"He despises Valentine's day among all holidays. One year, Dr. Gangle tried to decorate Phantasma in red heart shaped decorations and hold a dance for all the employees….Only when Erik found out, he stormed straight into the Phantasma hall and tore it apart. He was the only one without someone to celebrate it with and the agony of being alone was too much for him to bear."

"That's horrible."

"Yes, it was. Some of the employees still fear him. Well, I have to get going."

With that, she left me. Valentine's day? I never heard of such a holiday, but it sounded wonderful. When I returned home, Erik was sitting at his desk working on some sort of drawing.

"You're back early." I happily chanted.

"Where have you been?"

He sounded so angry, angrier than I had ever seen before.

"I…I was in town. I wanted to get some fresh air."

"You have a lot of nerve, Christine!" he turned, and stood up, his height over powering my own. "You could have been hurt! How dare you walk out of here in your condition without even telling me you were going to do so!"

"I'm sorry, Erik."

"What if something happened to you? Your child is the most important thing, Christine!" he turned back towards his desk, and sighed. "You could have at least told me where you were going."

He was calmer now, and I knew his rain of terror was over.

"I'm sorry, Erik, really I am."

"I know."

"I'll tell you next time."

"Yes. Now go relax….I'll….I'll make you something for lunch."

"I love you, Erik."

He turned, and a small smile formed on his lips.

"I'll make lunch, Christine."

It broke my heart not to hear him say the same words I had said to him, but I knew he was still hurting inside because of my pregnancy. If there was anything I was going to do, it was to get Erik excited about this child. He was going to be a father, the Phantom of the Opera was going to be a father to my child, and I too wanted him to be happy about it.

Ok everyone, please review! Thanks! Love you all!