"Letting go was the hardest of all

To see you walk to see you fall

On your own is the only way

To be with you night and day

Without the harm of cruel mankind

Each night I promise to come and find

My angel who is only mine"- Excerption from the diary of Erik

Erik's POV

I don't know how it happened, but I woke tied to the bars of a cage. The smell of damp feces covered hay filled the air….I was naked, and freezing cold. I pulled at the bars to try and get them loose from the ropes that bound my hands and arms, but it was no use. The atmosphere was in complete fog, making it nearly impossible to see anything that was around me. I was so cold….so cold that my body shook and trembled in a pneumonia filled fit.

"Erik!"

It was Christine! Her voice sounded so far away….so far from me. I looked all around my fog filled cage, thinking she were close by. I tried to call out to her, but my voice was so sore. Why was it sore? I tried, oh, how I tried to call, but whenever I opened my mouth nothing came out.

"Erik!" she was screaming for me. She sounded as if she were in a lot of pain. "Erik, answer me!"

But I couldn't. Instead, I banged my feet up against the bars of my cage to make some sort of noise to let her know I was here. Suddenly, out of no where, she appeared, and reached her arm inside the cage to try an touch me. I reached my hand for hers, but the ropes held me back. My angel was dressed in rags, and looked heavily pregnant. Why? Why was she dressed in such attire?

"Erik, help me!"

I pulled at the ropes, trying to reach her hand, but I couldn't. She then fell back, and landed on the ground, clenching at her stomach. I could see so much blood seeping from her as I continued to reach for her. I heard a loud laughing, only to see Raoul appearing from the fog. He had a knife in his hand, and rattled it against the bars of my cage.

"Look at you…" he cringed. "Hideous as always. You murdered Christine's beauty…."

I felt a hot agonizing pain shoot through my stomach, only to look down and see his knife jabbed deep into my flesh.

"Look at you!"

My blood was seeping onto the hay, as Raoul pulled out his blade and went for Christine.

"You murdered Christine's beauty! You implanted your hideous seed inside of her! And now I'm going to take it out!"

I watched in horror as Raoul cut my angel's stomach open with his knife, and pull out my child. It was hideous….a miniature version of myself. Raoul held it up by it's feet, and began stabbing me as my angel lay bleeding on the ground. I screamed, finally being able to find my voice! I screamed over and over again in agony….

"Erik! Erik, wake up!"

I jolted awake, covered in sweat and my shirt torn halfway off me. I was on the floor heaving, and sobbing, feeling all over my chest for the wounds Raoul had inflicted on me, but nothing was there, I was ok.

Christine was standing over me in her night gown, helping me to sit up.

"Shhhh it's ok, Erik."

I took a deep breath, and continued feeling around my chest just incase I was really injured.

"You were having a bad dream."

I was back in my flat, the fire place was lit and sending warmth through my body. I don't remember what I was doing right before I fell asleep, but from the looks of the mess on my desk, I must have been working on my posters for Phantasma and fell asleep.

Christine disappeared for the slightest of seconds, bringing me back a clean shirt, and a glass of water. I wasn't sure what the time was, but when I heard the grandfather clock chime in the hour of midnight, I cursed myself for waking Christine. She was carrying my child for Christ sakes and I disturbed her sleep with some disgusting dream of Raoul….

As I drank the water, Christine pulled off the remains of my shirt and replaced it with the new one she had pulled out of my wardrobe closet.

"I'm sorry for waking you." I said, placing the empty glass aside.

Christine smiled, and embraced my marred face with her warm hand. Ever since she had pulled off my mask a few days ago and told me she loved me, I found comfort and relief from not having to wear my mask in her presence. Before she came to Coney Island I would wear my mask out around Phantasma, and take it off when in the confinements of my flat. It had been months since I had been able to do such a thing, and it felt…..amazing. How could she not fear my face? My own mother couldn't even look on me and love. This woman was simply perfect in everyway, and being able to walk around my flat maskless is a gift sent from heaven.

"You didn't wake me, Erik. I was just laying there in bed."

She helped me to my feet, and held onto me as we entered our bedroom. Which I was glad, because I had removed my leg braces to massage my legs just a few hours earlier, and walking on my own would have been simply impossible. After Christine had told me she was carrying my child, I had rearranged our room one afternoon….Wait, our room? Since when did I start calling my room "our room?" It was strange having her living with me, carrying my child and she wasn't even married to me. The whole situation was wrong, and if word ever got out to the press, my summer would be filled with the worst havoc imaginable. Anyway, when I found out about her condition, I had rearranged my room around. The small bed she had been sleeping in would soon be too small, so for the time being I moved our beds together to give her more space, and placed them closer to the bathroom so she wouldn't have to walk across the room incase she needed to use it.

Yes, I had never cared for a pregnant woman before, but years ago I had been curious about such a subject when I lived back in Persia, and read up on how to do so. Book after book, I filled my mind with the knowledge needed to care for a pregnant woman. I learned everything from what foods to feed them, how much they should eat a day, and the basic information about the growth of a child from fetus until the moment of birth. I might not be happy over this whole pregnancy, but Christine was going to receive the best care possible. I was going to make sure she was comfortable up until it was time for her to give birth to my monstrous seed.

The only problem with me moving our beds together, was that I would have to lay with her. Not that it was a major problem or anything, it was just that after this whole pregnancy situation, I was afraid to touch her. Her carrying my child had changed our whole relationship from what it was down to nothing more than a strong friendship. I had ruined her. Christine, the most beautiful woman in the world had laid with me, and now, because of my weak lustful act, she was carrying a monster.

My mother nearly died giving birth to me….what if Christine died giving birth to her child? I would never forgive myself if that happened. I still to this day curse myself for the agony I had caused my mother by bringing me into the world….It wasn't that I didn't love my mother, because deep within my heart, I did. Yes, she might have loathed me, yes she might have beaten me and hated me, but she was still my mother. Just the thought of being left alone with a hideous child sent aches into my heart. A baby? I had no idea what to do with such a thing, or how to care for it on my own. I had never been a loving and understanding person. Christ, the only child I ever had contact with was a boy named "Reza" when I lived back in Persia, and in the end I had been the cause of his death. It pained me greatly, but he was suffering from illness.

"Erik, would you lay with me?"

I looked over at Christine as I changed into the rest of my night clothes from behind the privacy screen I had over by the wardrobe closet. Christine always changed in front of me without a care, but I still found the need for privacy. Most nights I would avoid laying with her by working at my desk and falling asleep there, but I missed it….probably just as much as she did. After removing my wig, I came out from behind the screen and placed a small candle on the night table. I then crawled into bed with her, but kept my distance away from her body.

"Erik, what were you dreaming about?"

I laid my head down on my pillow, and faced her, my handsome side staring her in the eyes.

"Nothing you need to hear about, Christine. It was horrible, and you do not need to hear such things."

"Was it about the gypsies raping you again?"

"Christine…" I raised my voice just a bit to warn her to drop the subject, and she did.

"I worry about you, Erik."

"You shouldn't. If anything, you should be worried about yourself and about the monster you're carrying."

"Don't call our child a monster, Erik." she yelled. "I don't call you a monster, and you won't call our child one either."

"You should, because that's what I am." I growled.

I turned over, and closed my eyes, but Christine forced me to face her once again. She calmed herself down enough to run her hand over my monstrous face, and whisper ever so softly into my ear.

"Erik, you're beautiful in every way. I love you so much, and I wish….I wish you could love me too."

My heart melted at the sound of her voice. I gently rolled over on her, and ran my fingers through her curly hair.

"I do love you, Christine, so much that it hurts. I could never go on living knowing this child has hurt you."

"Erik, I feel fine."

"There's so much stuff that leaves me on edge about this….this…."

"Erik, what's wrong?" she caressed my face with her hand ever so lovingly. "Tell me everything."

I closed my eyes, and pressed her hand closer against my face.

"So many things, Christine. If this child even lives, what if it hates me? What if….what if I scare it?"

"Erik, don't think like that."

"You're still married to Raoul, Christine. If the press were to find out about this, I could be ruined."

"We'll think of something, Erik. I just need something from you, I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"That no matter what happens, you'll let me stay here with you. I don't want you to be away from our child, and I don't want to be away from you."

I put my head down on her chest. Things couldn't be this way! If I were discovered, I'd be ruined for life! I would be ridiculed, and called horrible things for making love to a married woman and impregnating her. Adultery is highly frowned upon in America… I've seen the way people treat an adulterer in town…. They get called horrible names, people talk behind their backs, and the woman….Oh, god, it's even ten times worse for them. If my angel was ever talked about in such a way, I would kill….I would kill who ever spoke an ill word of her. I'd be thrown in jail, lose everything I worked ten years for…No! this couldn't happen. If Christine wanted to stay on Coney Island, she couldn't stay with me. For I knew, as soon as her pregnant stomach would begin showing, so would the talk.

"Christine, we must….we must discuss something."

"Anything."

I looked back up at her, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"I can promise you what you want, but things must drastically change between us."

"You don't love me?"

"No….I didn't say that, I do love you. Ever since you've looked at my face and told me you loved me…..Oh, Christine, I can no longer deny my undying love for you, but if you wish to stay here, things must change."

"Why?"

"Why? Why? Because as soon as your pregnancy starts to show, so will the talk around town. You're a married woman, Christine and it would break my heart to see you taunted and verbally abused by the town's people because of something I did."

"Erik, don't talk like that, it's not your doing, it's the both of us who…"

"It does not and will not matter to them. Adultery is highly frowned upon over here in America. I've seen up close what the town's people do to women who dishonor their marriage. It's a horrible thing, Christine, extremely horrible. It would break my heart to see you treated like that….I would kill again, and I don't wish for you to bear the child of a killer."

My hands trembled against her cheeks as I took a breath to continue.

"The situation would also be very bad for my reputation as owner of Phantasma. Reporters already say enough horrible things about me and my "Mysterious Face that I so wish to hide behind the confinements of a mask." They spread rumors that I was in the war and had my face blown off, sometimes they say one of my ex's had thrown acid on me because I broke off a relationship with them. If they knew what I did to you, the rumors and horrible stories would never stop being published. It's bad for both of us, Christine."

"Be as it may, Erik, but I don't wish to go back to Paris."

"I understand, and there is a way for you to stay here, but it's not going to be pleasant. Our relationship will be put on strainful levels, Christine. I may not be able to see you as often as I do, but it's the only way until we could perhaps talk it over with your….boy."

"What are you saying?"

Christine seemed so worried, and I'd be lying if I told her I wasn't nervous too.

"You can't live with me anymore…"

It was like a bullet to my heart. My whole world shattered beneath me as I spoke of such horrible things. She had been living with me the past few months, and it would be strange seeing her go, but it was the only way.

"What?" she had tears in her eyes, I could see them rushing to them. "You're sending me back to Paris?"

"No, I'm not….I'm going to get you a place in Phantasma. It's going to be on the other side of the park, just enough distance away so people won't suspect anything between us. I'll pay for everything, and give you money to buy food and everything else."

I reached over on the night table for her wedding ring; the exact one she had thrown across the room the other day when she told me she loved me. I slipped the band back on her finger, and pressed a kiss to her hand.

"No, Erik, don't place that back on my finger…."

"You must wear that at all times."

Seeing that ring made my anger burn within me, for I knew what that ring meant. It was a symbol of her love for Raoul, but she had to wear it!

"People will suspect horrible things if they see a pregnant woman without a wedding ring. If people should happen to ask you about your husband, you tell them that he's in Europe fighting in the war."

"Erik, what about you? What about when this child is born?"

It pained me even more to say the next line.

"I'll….I'll be there for you, Christine, but…..if nothing happens over your marriage to Raoul, I'll…I'll be known nothing more than as an uncle to this child until we can figure something else out."

Christine was crying now. I had caused her to cry. But what else could I say? What else could I do? This was the only way to keep both our names out of harms way, and Christine knew this, for she didn't argue.

"You can't use your surname either. Too many people know the DeChagney name."

"Then what am I to say when people ask for my surname?"

"You can use my own. No body in Coney Island besides Meg knows my first name. No body knows my surname….I even forget it at times."

"What is it?"

"You will call yourself Christina Mulheim."

Christine smiled, and wiped her tears away.

"Your name is Erik Mulheim?"

I nodded.

"You like it?" I questioned. "If you don't, you don't have to use it, I can think of something else."

"I love it, Erik, it's so beautiful."

My heart stopped beating the moment she said my surname was beautiful. No one had ever said such a thing before.

"Really?"

She nodded.

"Yes, and with my name being Mulheim, I'll be able to name the baby after it."

"I'll come visit you as much as I can, Christine, but I have to do it in the early morning before the sunrises and in the dead of night when it's deserted."

"That means you'll spend every night with me?" she asked.

"If that would make you happy, then yes, I will do that."

"Then I will follow you where ever you lead, Erik. I trust you with my life."

The situation broke my heart, but this was indeed the only way to keep us out of harm and the press. The following morning, I got up before the sun came up, and packed a few of Christine's things into a box. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I kept in mind that she was only moving across the park, and not across the country. I packed her clothes, her shoes, her jewelry and everything I could think of that belonged to her. After throwing on my cloak, I grabbed my set of keys for Phantasma and headed to the building I was going to set her up in. All across Phantasma I had housing for all my employees, but at the end of the park near the beach, there was a special building I always kept abandoned and locked up. It was a tall brick building on top of one of the shops that sold beach blankets and beach toys. I took the spiral staircase on the other side of the building up to the door, and opened it. It was just as I had left it; empty. This had been my first idea for my home, but decided not to live here because it was big enough to hold an entire family. Not that it was the reason why I decided not to live here….No, I turned down the idea when I spent my first night here. All I could think about all night was the thought of Christine living here with me, and waking up to the beautiful window view of the ocean…..When I woke the next morning, I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me to live here, and locked it up before going off to find other arrangements. That was ten years ago, and this was my first time back….. I even left all the furniture I had put in it on my first night's stay.

I pulled back the curtain that was covering the window, and looked out at the ocean crashing against the dark shore. This would be a perfect place for Christine to raise her child…..With the little amount of light I had shining in through the window, I pulled some clean sheets from the wardrobe closet, and made up the bed. Afterwards, I hung up her clothes, and placed her belongings around the room before standing back to have a look at it. It still didn't seem as homey as my flat, but I knew with a few paintings or pictures hanging about, it would feel that way in no time. Plus, she wouldn't be alone all the time because she would have Skimbleshanks to keep her company.

Once I was finished with everything, I headed back to the flat to wake Christine and take her to her new home…. She was already awake, and brushing her hair in the mirror. She didn't seem happy, but didn't argue with me.

"Are you ready to go?" I nervously asked her from the doorway of the bathroom.

She turned to me, and tried to smile.

"I guess so."

I placed her cloak over her shoulders, and placed Skimbleshanks in her arms. She circled the flat one last time, taking in an image to remember it by before following me outside.

"I did fix the place up, Christine. I do hope you'll find it just as homey as the flat was."

"I'm sure it will be….it just won't be the same."

"How so?"

"Everything smelled like you." she said, smiling at me. "The sheets, the air, even my dresses."

This made my heart skip a beat. I never thought Christine would enjoy my scent. Yes, it was only a cheap musky cologne, but just having her associate it with me was….heavenly.

"I'm sure everything in the new place will smell of me eventually. I'll be sure to come over as much as possible."

"I know you will."

When we reached the beach shop, Christine looked up at the tall building, and then back towards the way we just came, stretching her neck to see if she could spot the flat from where she stood.

"See, Christine, it's not that far from me."

"It feels like a hundred miles."

I smiled, having something in mind that would cheer her up.

"Come along, I want to show you something."

I escorted her up the staircase, and opened the door of her new home before turning on the lights. She stood there in the doorway, looking at the lonely empty flat….

"It's very big." she said. "Bigger than your flat, and it's just me…."

"You make that seem like it's a bad thing." I teased. "And you're not alone. Skimbleshanks makes two and baby makes three. With me visiting all the time, it'll be three and a half…."

Christine giggled, and stepped inside to place Skimbleshanks down.

"I do like it, I guess."

I placed a few logs in the fire place, and started a fire for her.

"This will keep you warm, and you'll soon have a kitchen full of food." I stood up and pointed to the huge window on the other side of the flat.

"That will give you a view of the beach, and here…"

I took her by the arm, and led her to the window facing Phantasma.

"When ever you're feeling lonely, Christine, look out this window."

I pointed to my flat, which was clearly visible from where we were standing.

"Your flat!" she exclaimed. "I can see it."

"Yes, and when you look at it, just think about me coming to visit you."

"I will Erik."

I placed a kiss to her forehead, and grabbed my keys.

"It's getting close to sunrise, I must go. I'll come by later with some groceries and I'll make us some dinner."

She smiled.

"I'll be waiting."

And with that, I opened the door and looked back at her.

"I love you, Christine."

Ok, please review! I loved this chapter the most so far. More to come soon! Love you all!