"In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning

And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be

It scared me out of my wits

Raoul crushing me to bits….

Then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was with me."- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

Christine's POV

How I got away from Raoul was a complete miracle in itself. When I heard someone knocking at the door, only to look through the peep hole and see Raoul standing there, my world came crashing down. The curtains were pulled over the window making it impossible for him to see inside. I sat there against the door, praying that he would leave. I prayed to my father to help me, I prayed to the lord above to move Raoul away from the door. Oh, how did he find me? How on earth did he know where I was staying? He continued knocking at the door, but never said a word…..Maybe he didn't know I lived here. Maybe he was just here hoping to get directions to someplace else. Finally after ten minutes, I heard him walking down the steps. He was leaving! God! He was leaving!

I had to find Erik, I couldn't stay here and wait for him to return. I waited just enough time to make sure he wasn't around before darting out the door and into the crowded streets of Phantasma. It was extremely hot, and trying to find Erik was like trying to find a needle in a haystack but I kept trudging along. I was running so fast, that I was bumping into and knocking people over. By the time I found Erik, I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk any further. He yelled at me, but all I could think about was the pain.

Why had I ran? Damn it, Christine, you're carrying a child! But I knew if I ever came in contact with Raoul, my child would never see the light of day. I was told I was to stay in bed for a few days by Erik, and I did just that. I sat there in bed knitting cute little outfits for our child, while Erik worked. I was experiencing painful contractions due to my running around, but Erik was right there to hold my hand and get me through each one. By the third day of being in bed, I felt a whole lot better. My contractions had stopped, and I was in very little amount of pain. That was when Erik came through the door looking as if he'd just walked the desert for thirty days. His flesh was covered in sun burns, and his clothes were soaked with sweat.

As I cared for him, I told him that I would be returning to my flat in the morning. As much as I wanted to stay with Erik, I knew I couldn't. People were going to start suspecting things if they saw me standing near the window or coming from the stairs. But I had done something I never thought I would ever do….I lied to Erik. He had asked me about the stranger who came knocking at my door. I told him that I never seen the man in my entire life, and that I was frightened that he was going to come and take me. Yes, I had been truly afraid, but not knowing the man was a lie. I couldn't tell Erik that it was Raoul. Erik had to stay out of the situation as much as possible, and by telling him that Raoul was on the island would only cause problems not only for myself, but also for him. Raoul was here for me, and the more I kept Erik out of the situation, the better chance he'd stay safe.

Erik slept that night beside me. He was in so much pain from his sunburn, but he refused to unwrap his arms from around me. The following morning, before Phantasma opened, I dressed myself and got ready for Erik to take me back to my lonely flat.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Erik asked, buttoning up his shirt in front of the wardrobe closet.

"Erik, please don't make it harder than it already it. I'm fine, really."

"I know you have to return to your flat, Christine, but the doctor said a week."

"Maybe he did, but I feel fine. And I promise to lay down as soon as I get there." I paused, thinking of another excuse to return home. "And besides, Skimbleshanks probably misses me."

After placing on his mask, Erik came forward and locked the flat after we both stepped out. It was still a little dark out, making the possibility of anyone seeing us impossible.

"I'll come by tonight around eight. Phantasma should be closed by then."

"Ok."

When we approached the stairs of my flat, Erik leaned in and kissed me.

"I love you, mon ange. I'll be back before you know it."

I smiled.

"I know you will."

"Would you like me to walk you in?"

I looked up at the brightening sky.

"No, it's getting light. You should go get ready to open the park."

Erik kissed me once more before walking away. If there was one man I truly loved, it was him. I couldn't wait until tonight…I would make him dinner and then maybe we could take a moonlit walk on the beach. Yes! That's something we never did before. It was all perfect. I slowly walked up the stairs, and through the door of my flat. The curtains were still pulled over the window, and the flat was in complete darkness.

"Skimbleshanks, I'm home." I called out, fondling around for the lights.

"Skimbleshanks, here boy…..I bet you're hungry."

Usually when I walked through the door, Skimbleshanks would be circling my feet. But he wasn't coming, and I found it completely strange.

"Skimbleshanks?"

Finally, my hands found the switch, and in an instant the lights came on. Only when they did, the sight before me made me want to run out of the flat. There in my arm chair was Raoul, with Skimbleshanks in his lap.

"Hello, Christine." he sneered.

I backed up against the door, and gasped in fright. I wanted to leave, but I didn't want Erik getting involved….no, there was no escaping this time.

"What's the matter?" he sarcastically asked, standing up from the chair. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

I couldn't tell him the truth, I couldn't tell him that I wasn't. I looked down at my feet, and tried to stay as calm as possible.

"Yes….Raoul, I'm…I'm very happy to see you."

"Christine, I think you're lying."

He was standing in front of me now. He reached out his gloved hand, and took my chin to raise my eyes to meet with his green ones.

"I think I'd know if my wife were happy, and right now, you don't seem to be."

"Why…Why have you come?"

"Why have I? why have I come? Christine, you're my wife!"

"Raoul, didn't you get my letter…"

"And didn't you get mine? Christine, I'm not letting you go that easily. I made a vow on my wedding day to love you until death do we part, and I plan on doing just that. Now tell me, where is this so called "man" you've been staying with?"

I was shaking, but trying to keep my body as still as possible as not to encourage Raoul to make any sudden assumptions.

"He's….he's dead. He was an old man…."

Raoul laughed so loud that it echoed off the stone walls of my flat, sending shivers down my spine. Raoul's laugh sounded evil, unlike the kind warm hearted laugh Erik possessed.

"He died?"

"Yes, and he…he left his money to me. I was the only one he had left to trust. He was kind, Raoul." I lied.

Raoul took a step back and took a good look at me.

"Christine!" he gasped. "You're with child!"

"Yes, I am….and…."

"My child? Christine! How dare you write me and not tell me that you're carrying my child!"

I sighed in relief. I would have thought for sure that Raoul would know the child wasn't his. But apparently he didn't know math very well. The last time he and I made love…..if you can call it that…was a few weeks before I left him. It had been more like rape. He came home drunk, and forced himself on me. I guess he assumed I was more than five months pregnant. But I couldn't tell him the truth in fear of him destroying the child within me right now….

"I'm sorry, Raoul…I was….I was scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?"

"I don't wish to be married to you anymore. I like it here in Coney Island and I'm staying."

"What? Here with the freaks? The…the popcorn covered alleys! Christine, you are my wife, and I know what's good for you! This Phantasma is a total disaster! The gypsy camps back in Paris are better than this dump."

"Don't you dare call it that, Raoul. The man who created this place is a genius."

"I highly doubt that, Christine. Christ, it's made your little friend Meg into a vaudeville whore…If her mother could see her…."

"Meg? How do you know about Meg's job?"

"Oh, she's the one who told me you were living here. I came upon her by accident actually. She didn't want to tell me at first, but I lied and said you've been writing to me, begging me to come see you."

"What? How could you do that?"

"I needed to find you, Christine. This place is gigantic. I could have been looking for you for months."

"And you can keep searching for all I care, Raoul. I'm not going with you."

"I thought you would say that, which is why we're going to work out our problems right here in Phantasma before returning to Paris. We need a vacation after all, Christine."

"There is nothing to fix, Raoul. You've beaten me and drank yourself into oblivion for the past ten years. I don't want anything to do with it anymore."

"Right. Like you don't have your fair share of problems. Do you think I haven't heard you screaming out in your sleep for him."

"What are you talking about?"

"It drove me to drink, Christine. You would wail out to the Phantom in your sleep. "Help me, Help me! He's after me!" Raoul mocked. "The Phantom is after me."

I never knew I did that. Usually the dreams I would have about Erik were nice ones…..Maybe Raoul was so drunk that when he heard me shouting for Erik he thought I was having a nightmare….

"You still think about him, don't you?"

"No! he's dead, remember. The mob found him."

"And thank God they did."

Raoul took out his watch, and smiled.

"Ah, the bars are opening now. But I will return tonight around eight thirty. You will make dinner, and then we shall talk."

"No, Raoul."

He violently grabbed my wrists, and pulled me closer to him.

"Yes, Christine! I want dinner and I want it on the table by eight thirty or else…."

He then let me go, and headed towards the door.

"Don't disappoint me, Christine."

With that, he slammed the door shut, leaving me to sob. I was caught in between two worlds; the one I wanted with Erik, and the one I dreaded with Raoul. It was a lose-lose situation. If I told Erik, he would go after Raoul, if I told Raoul, he would go after Erik….But that was the least of my worries. Erik was coming back at eight and Raoul was coming at eight thirty. What was I going to do? I couldn't let Erik see Raoul coming through the door. I Had to do something, but what? I didn't want Erik to get hurt, and I knew he would if Raoul got a hold of him.

I loved Erik with all my heart, and I knew in order to get him out of here by the time Raoul came was going to call for something drastic. Yes, I could just leave the flat, but then Erik would come looking for me, and so would Raoul. And I dreaded the thought of Erik finding me first….Raoul could come up behind Erik and…God! I couldn't let this happen.

That day I cooked dinner, dreading tonight. I was so nervous about Erik and Raoul that I couldn't even stir my cake batter right. By the time eight o clock rolled around, I was so nervous that I could hardly stand up straight. When I heard the door open, I braced the kitchen counter, my face filled with tears, dreading the thought of turning.

"Christine, I'm here." It was Erik. He sounded so happy, and I was about to break his heart.

I turned around, only to see him walking through the door, carrying a beautiful hand carved cradle. It was stained in beautiful paint, and had carvings of circus animals engraved in its side. Why! Why couldn't I just tell Erik the truth? Why did I still feel the need to break his heart over Raoul?

I watched him place it down on the far end of the room, and turn to me with a huge smile on his face.

"Mon, ange, I've been working on this for….." he paused, noticing the tears in my eyes. "Christine, what's wrong?"

I couldn't back down now, no matter how beautiful the cradle was.

"Christine? Tell your Erik what's wrong? What has made her so sad?"

I stood there thinking about something to make me angry. Anything! I dug down to the deepest memory of Erik that I had. Oh, but what could anger me enough to go off? Then it came to me….the night he made love to me and left before morning came…Yes, that angered me….so much that it began burning my blood enough to go off on him over a lie I was thinking of within my head.

"You!" I shouted. "You're the cause, Erik! You've always been the cause!"

Erik seemed shocked, and backed up against the wall.

"Wh…what do you mean? Christine, tell me wh…"

"I am! And you never listen to me! Do you think I like sitting up here pregnant and all alone! Waiting for you to come and see me like your mistress!"

"Christine, it's not….you know it's not like that. Come, please calm down…."

But I couldn't stop! I had to make sure he left. It was not ten after, leaving me only a few more minutes to seal the deal….God, what could I say to make him leave? What could make him want to leave?

"Leave!" I cried, not wanting to hurt him anymore. "Just leave me!"

Erik didn't….he didn't move at all.

"Christine, let us talk about this? We always could, and make it better."

Damn you, Erik! Why do you always have to be so stubborn?

"Talking does nothing! I'm sick of it!"

And then I did something that I had never meant to do, something I should have thought about before acting on it. I placed my hand over the invisible wedding ring Erik had given me on the night of our marriage before God, and tore it off.

"I don't want to wear this anymore! It's done with!"

And then I threw it.

The room fell silent, and Erik placed a hand over his chest. I could see tears falling from his eyes, as he walked out, sobbing as if he had just lost the love of his life. When the door slammed shut, I too, sobbed. No, I couldn't do this!

Quickly, I ran to the door and opened it hoping to find Erik walking away, only It was Raoul who was now standing at the door.

"Ah, nice opening, Christine." he laughed, barging himself into my flat. Only when Raoul passed and the night was visible, Erik was no where in sight.

"Close the door, Christine." he growled. "Don't let the damn heat in."

How badly I wanted to go after Erik, but I couldn't. I knew I would only be leading Raoul to his prey if I did.

"Christine, did you hear me!"

I quickly shut the door, and wiped my eyes before turning. Yes, I was upset, but I couldn't let Raoul see me like this. When I turned around, Raoul was already sitting at the table, piling his plate with the food I had cooked…..for Erik.

"What on earth have you been doing these past months, Christine? It sure as hell wasn't learning how to cook…..The maids back home do a better job than you."

Erik loved my cooking. I loved my cooking, but Raoul…..God, why couldn't I have just run off with Erik.

"Get me some wine, Christine." he ordered holding up his glass.

"I…I don't have any. I can't drink because of the baby."

"Well damn you, you selfish wench." Raoul threw a plate up against the wall, causing it to smash into a million pieces. "You knew I was having dinner here tonight, and yet you didn't walk your ass into town and get me a bottle. Try thinking of someone other than yourself for once, Christine. And you're my wife, for God's sake. You know I drink wine with my meals."

I knew Raoul was already drunk, for I could smell the whisky fermenting all the way across the room to where I was standing.

"I'm sorry…" I cried.

"Just don't make that mistake again. Now what else do you have to drink in this dump?"

"Just water…"

"Just….water? Didn't this man that you've been staying with leave you any money?"

"I…I told you he did."

Raoul filled up his glass at the sink, and sat back down.

"It doesn't matter. Not even water is going to wash down the disgusting taste of this meal."

I treaded into the kitchen, and took a seat at my side of the table.

"I thought you came here to make things better?"

"Aren't I?"

"You're drunk."

"I am not! I am simply on holiday, enjoying myself. This is your whole problem, Christine! You never know how to have fun. You're always such a killjoy…Even when I invite my buddies over to play cards. You moan and groan like a selfish bitch until they leave."

"Stop it, Raoul."

"Ah, so you admit it! When you get back to Paris, it's going to change! When ever I want to have my friends over you will serve us beer and nuts without complaining!"

"I will do no such thing! I am not your slave….What happened to you, Raoul? What happened to the sweet boy I met back at the opera house? The boy I loved?"

"He's dead, Christine. This is me…."

"It wasn't always…"

"Yes, the Phantom might have been angry all the time, but he had a soft spot."

"For you! Enough about him!" Raoul smashed another plate. "You loved him didn't you? It wasn't God damn good enough that I risked my life to come save you from him was it? No, you had to go and kiss his…..Christine!"

"He loved me, Raoul."

"And you loved him…"

"I loved you…..But…he needed me."

"He needed death! Death and nothing more! I'm glad the mob killed him! I wish I could have been the one to kill him."

Raoul picked up the large carving knife that was sitting on the table, and held it up.

"I would have taken a knife and stabbed him so far into his beating heart…"

"Raoul, he let you go! He could have killed you! But he didn't…."

"Because he loved you…..Tell me, Christine. If none of that happened, what would have been your choice?"

Raoul played with the knife, running it softly over his nails.

"What do mean? choice?"

"So do you spend your days with me? Or do you send him to his death!" Raoul mocked…

I remembered the lines to Erik's final plea….Yes, if I could turn back time, I would have stayed with Erik. Not to save Raoul, but because I would have wanted to….but Raoul could never know this.

"I…I would have done what ever possible to save you, Raoul."

Raoul slammed the knife down on the table.

"That's right, Christine…"

Raoul stood up, and pulled me to my feet.

"That's right, my love…. And why is that?"

I was shaking so badly…

"Because….because…"

"Yes?"

"Because I…I loved you."

"And now it's time to claim what's mine…"

I didn't understand what Raoul meant by this, but in a flash, I was pushed down against my bed, and Raoul was on top of me. I tried to punch him, but he was holding my arms down.

"Stop fussing, Christine, you're my wife!"

"I don't want to be…"

"Now ain't that a bitch…Hold still!"

I screamed, and tried to fight back, but Raoul was more powerful than I was. He stuffed a rag into my mouth to stop my screaming….much like he used to do back in Paris. I was crying so hard, that my face was soaked…. I heard him lowering his trousers, but didn't dare to look at him.

"You're going to like this, Christine. I am your husband! It's my right!"

Horrible memories came to mind as Raoul began to have his way with me. I never gave up trying to fight him off…

"Stop! Before I make you!" he groaned.

But suddenly, he stopped, and I opened my eyes. He was looking at something….but what? I turned my head to see what he was staring at…It was the cradle!

"Christine, that wasn't there before…" he growled. "Where did you get it from?"

He pulled the rag from my mouth.

"I…I don't know what you're talking about. It was there before…You're just too drunk, Raoul…"

"Don't tell me what I am! I'm not crazy, Christine! Now who was here? Who brought that for you?"

"No one!" I cried.

The first punch was thrown at my face.

"Tell me! Don't make me do it again!"

"A…A friend!" I sobbed. "A friend….stop hitting me….Raoul…the baby…please…"

"Shut up!" he growled, hitting me again. "A friend? Who was it? I want a name!"

"It was anonymous."

"You lie."

He punched me again, causing my nose to bleed.

"If it was anonymous, you damn well wouldn't have known that it was a friend! I want a name, damn it! A name!"

I needed to get Raoul off of me before he hit me again. He let my arms loose just enough time for me to quickly reach over on the night table and grab hold of the porcelain horse Erik had given to me. And before Raoul knew what was coming to him, I slammed it's heavy bottom over his head.

"Blast you!" he groaned, falling to the floor as his head began to bleed.

I placed down the horse, and shot up from the bed to run to the door. But before I could open it, Raoul grabbed me.

"Oh, no you don't. We're not finished yet, Christine."

"Stop! Just leave, Raoul!"

I managed to open the door, but couldn't run away for Raoul grabbed me again.

"Let me go! Let go of me!"

Raoul pulled at my hair, and I pounded my fists into his chest….Suddenly, Raoul let go of my hair, and I lost my balance. I stumbled backwards, and fell down the staircase, hitting every single stair on the way down. My back cracked, my shoulders cracked…..and I landed on my stomach…..I slowly opened my eyes as my world spun around me. I was laying in something sticky….it had to be my own blood.

When I saw shoes, I looked up to see Raoul standing over me…

"This isn't over, Christine. I'll be back soon….You're still my wife, and I plan on bringing you back to Paris if I have to drag you there myself…..Have a pleasant night, love…."

Raoul walked away….How could he walk away and leave his wife like this? I was now alone in the dark of the night…..and dying…and if I died, so would my child….our child..

Ok everyone….wow brutal chapter… Please review! And no, this is not the end of the story haha….