She remembered the cooling feeling of the Nile on her skin as the fever ravaged her, decimating her body, leaving her weak. She could barely even cough anymore. She looked out of the window once more. She had three and a half hours till sunrise. Again she was caught in the space between life and death. Maybe when the sun rose she could awake one of her neighbors and get help. Help? What help? If magic couldn't even save her then how would a normal doctor at the hospital save her? She looked around her bedroom, it was in ruins, a car drove past her house, the headlights shining through her window and landing on a golden pin. A golden pin she thought she had lost long ago.
The sun shone through the scattered clouds, the sky was a bright blue as she laced up her daughter's shoes. The toddler had a huge smile on her face, as if she knew where they were going. She picked up her daughter and put her into her stroller, walking out the door as she left a note for Barney. Slowly, she and her daughter made their way to the zoo. The light breeze made the stifling heat bearable as she and the little girl named all the animals; she kissed her daughter's forehead and smiled every time the girl repeated the names. She was still new at parenting, but she enjoyed every second with her little girl. Sure she would have to tell her daughter where her father was when she got older, but that day would come in its time. She would have to tell her of her father's untimely death, and that most likely he had no idea she had been conceived. Or if he did, he didn't let on, but her father was a good man, one of the greatest she had ever known.
Soon her daughter got hungry so the two of them walked to a plaza with food and live music. She got a salad for herself and her daughter insisted on having chicken fingers. As they ate she continued to teach her daughter more words, she really couldn't believe how quickly the girl was learning. It amazed her and there was always a smile on her face when the toddler was around. The musicians started playing more lively music, young couples got up and started dancing, parents and children too, people were watching from the outskirts as a small oval formed, she stood up, holding her daughter in her arms and started dancing. The toddler wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and laughed as her mother danced. She felt like she was being watched, she was paying too much attention to her daughter to feel the burning of her golden pin, the pin that told her the man she loved was around. She spun around in a circle, her daughter laughed more, and she used her eyes to spot a man leaning against a lamppost. He had raven black hair, and even though she was too far away she knew he had the most beautiful green eyes in the world. Using her limited telepathy, she reached out to his mind.
"Hello love, why don't you come over?" She smiled as the music came to an end. She could sense him smile in return as she sat down with her daughter.
"Maybe I shouldn't." He said back in her head. She laughed softly and used her telepathy once more.
"We won't bite, I promise." He relented and started walking over towards them.
"This must be Miss Sophie." He said as he sat down. "It's a pleasure to meet you." He gently reached out and took the toddler's hand, kissing it softly. Sophie looked to her mother with a questioning look.
"This is Loki, he's mommy's friend." She said leaning down to kiss Sophie's forehead. Loki smirked and she used her telepathy to reach out to him. "If Sophie wasn't here I would slap that smirk off your face." He laughed and took her hand with a smile. She looked into his eyes and smiled. If every day could be like this moment, she felt she could be happy for a very long time.
She let out heavy, shallow breaths as head beat in a pace of four. The endless rhythm was sure to drive her mad before she died from this sickness. Her eyes fell to the syringes on her bedside table, they were full of the mutant cure. Mutant and proud, she said softly. Intrigued by the fact that, since she was now too exhausted to control what she did, her accent came back. The sharp Russian accent that she worked so hard to erase was back. Russia, she missed her home. She missed everything about it. She missed her mother, her father, even Mikhail, but most of all, she missed Piotr. The gentle giant who could easily encase her in a hug that had her struggling to breathe.
She stood out from the crowd, her shoulders stiff, head straight. Her blonde hair and blue eyes would have helped her blend in if it weren't for her Russian accent and foreign demeanor. All the years in limbo, the training, the myriad of languages she had learned and customs of different countries, had done nothing to usurp the lessons her mama had taught her, the way to be a proper lady at the Tsar's court. Some help they were now. Within minutes though she relaxed, ordering a cup of coffee and pulling out her book. These moments were rare for her. They allowed her to take a step back from all the struggles of day-to-day life and rest. A couple minutes later her coffee was brought and she looked around, New York was beautiful. Suddenly she started eavesdropping on a conversation going on behind her. It was between two men, they were just talking about being new to the city but one of the men, she knew that voice, but she couldn't place it. She continued to listen in and then she dropped her coffee cup. It hit the ground with a crash and everything stopped. All talking, all eating, stopped for a split second. Slowly she bent down to pick up the broken pieces, not wanting to use magic in public, not that she really cared. As she reached for the first piece a man's hand entered her line of sight and she stopped, looking up at him.
"Here, let me help you." He said with a smile. She bit her bottom lip discreetly, she had been right. The man was her brother; her older brother Piotr. They hadn't seen each other in quite a while but she knew it was him. He hadn't changed at all. How long would it take him to recognize her? She thought to herself.
"Thanks, but I think I can handle it." She said with a smile, collecting the pieces in her hands. Within a split second they were gone, leaving him puzzled and confused. The look on his face gave her a clear idea of what was going on inside his head. She could even imagine the voice saying. "She's not, no she can't be. But she looks like, no she's dead." A stupid grin spread across her face as she stood up, paying the check.
"Come on then Piotr." She said as she walked away, wishing she could see the stupid look on his face.
His footsteps echoed after her as he ran and she walked, finally after about twenty feet, he caught up to her.
"Illyana?" He asked hesitantly, still not sure if she was his sister. She laughed softly and nodded.
"Hello Piotr, it's been a long time." He smiled and wrapped in a huge hug, Piotr style, she hugged him back, feeling the prickle of tears in her eyes.
"I thought you were dead." He said, not relenting on his hug.
"Lots of people did. I missed you." She said, chocking out the last part. Emotion wasn't really her forte, being soulless and all, but Piotr brought out everything in her. He knew her inside and out, even though so many things had changed.
"I missed you too, my little snowflake." He said while rubbing her back. She felt the first of many tears slide down her hot cheeks as she held her brother close. He wiped her cheeks and ruffled her hair. "Don't cry little snowflake." He said even though he had tears in his eyes as well.
"Don't tell me not to cry if you're crying, Piotr." She said laughing sadly. She hugged him once more, allowing herself to be wrapped in his arms.
Tears streamed down her face, she didn't know where she got the energy to cry, but now she was sobbing. Her heart ached for her brother, he had gone missing again, and she knew now that she would never see him again. Never have him ruffle up her hair and insist, that even though she was a mother, that she was still a young girl. He would probably never know she was dead either. It would be a miracle if he knew. Was he dead? Or had he maybe figured out the secret to time travel? You're going insane Illyana, she said to herself. She laughed and sobbed at the remark, of course she was insane, she was a Rasputin, one who protected her family at all costs, even if it meant dying for them.
The text message very simply said "very clever." She laughed to herself, her head down, completely oblivious to where she was going, and to the man who had just crossed her path. Funnily enough, his eyes were looking up at the buildings in a childlike wonder that he didn't see her either. Within an instant they collided, her purse sprawling on the ground, mixing with the contents of his apparently unlocked briefcase. She bent down and started to pick up her wallet and keys first.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." He said with an apologetic smile.
"It's fine." She said smiling back. "Neither was I." She waved her phone around slightly, and he nodded in understanding.
"I'm Howard by the way." He said extending his hand out to her. She smiled and took it, he pulled her up and she smoothed out her skirt.
"I'm Illyana, nice to meet you Howard." She said as she shook his hand.
"The pleasure is all mine, Illyana." He said shaking her hand in return. Then his hand awkwardly crept around to the back of his neck. "You wouldn't happen to know where Stark Tower is, would you?"
"I do, in fact that's where I'm heading." She laughed softly. She and Tony needed to talk; he was threatening her daughter and that needed to stop.
"Would you mind if I tagged along?" He asked hopefully.
"Not at all." She started walking towards the tower, which was kind of hard to miss, but she wasn't judging, She was new to New York once. They made idle small talk; she found out he was a scientist and inventor, he found out she was an English Teacher. Such a small white lie was inconsequential. She wasn't able to read where he stood on mutants so she would hold off on telling him what she really was. They walked into the lobby of the tower and she heard him gasp, along with someone else.
"Thank you Illyana," Howard whispered in his ear before walking towards Tony. She rubbed her forehead as the pieces flew together. She laughed softly to herself.
"Hey Stark!" She yelled out, both men turned as expected. "We need to talk, call me." She said as she opened a portal in front of them both, stepping through and finding herself in Moscow. Father and son watched shocked.
"Did she mean me?" Tony asked his father.
"We'll just have to find out." Howard said with a quiet laugh. Illyana walked around Moscow, and three hours later her phone rang. Howard Stark, she smiled, that's whom she was talking to, and that's who had called.
She still felt the bitter tears in her mouth as she remembered Howard; the time traveling, handsome father of Tony. He had helped her through some of the toughest times in her life. It made her smile to know that he was back where he belonged though, as much as she loved him, this time, it wasn't for him. Of course he had argued with her the entire time, claiming he could make more discoveries, but all the emotions were heightened in this day and age, and she felt terrible for exposing him to them, to the sadness, to the lechery that some women used just to be happy, even if the man they were supposed to marry didn't really love them. She had helped Howard and he had helped her. He was there for her when everything went to hell. When she just wanted to give up, but here she was, giving up. I'm sorry Howard, she said aloud softly, she felt a flash of pain, it felt like she was being slapped. More flashes of pain echoed around her body, she swore that someone was actually stabbing her and slapping her.
As soon as she pulled into the driveway, she felt the tension radiating from the house. Every sane bone in her body told her to run; that this was a stupid idea and she was just putting herself through more pain, but she couldn't stop herself. She needed this, even if it was painful. She needed the closure it would provide. Letting him walk away was stupid, coming here, even stupider. Yet if he was happy then that's really all she needed. She wanted him to be happy above all else, her heart was already stone, her soul nonexistent, her capacity to love was long gone. Anything she felt for him was a remnant of what once was; a fabrication of her magic. She sat in the front seat of her car for a good five minutes before gathering up her wits and getting out, walking the painful twenty or so feet to the front door.
God only knows how she got inside and ended up on the couch of their house. They chatted idly, none of them wanting to address the reason why she was really here.
"Do you want some fruit Illyana?" The other woman in the room asked, but she was basically saying, 'This is too tense, I'm going to go get fruit.' She shook her head.
"No thank you, Peggy, I'm fine." But Peggy was already out of the room. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and the man sitting on the couch leaned forward and glared at her.
"I know why you're here." He said in a harsh whisper, not wanting to play games. She stared him down, looking into his bright green eyes.
"Do you?" She asked, returning his glare.
"I'm not stupid Illyana." He said, hitting a nerve. She winced slightly and sat back somewhat.
"Never said you were Loki." She crossed her legs, one over the other and sat back. Peggy came back into the room and put the fruit down on the table. No doubt she heard them, not that she cared really. They continued their argument through as they resumed the small talk, until one of them snapped. Suddenly he sat forward and slapped her, her eyes widened. Loki had never laid a hand on her, well okay, hadn't since the day they met for the very time.
"I will kill everything you love and hold dear." He whispered aloud. Her eyes widened then shrunk back to normal size, he wouldn't do that, he couldn't kill his own children, she thought to herself, he must've been looking into her mind because he smirked. "I love my children, but my hate for you over powers that love." She sat there shell shocked for a moment, and then she was back on her couch with no idea of how she got there.