"Sticky fingers, tangled hair

Scattered crayons everywhere.

Dirty faces, grass stained knees

Learning words like "Pretty please"

Scrapped up hands from falling down

Tender tugs on my night gown.

Messy fingers, hair gone wild

All in the life of my precious child."- Excerption from the diary of Erik.

Erik's POV

My daughter was perfect. My daughter was completely beautiful! She was absolutely flawless, and she was me…. As much as I loved my daughter, I couldn't find it within my heart to go back to the way things were. I loved Christine but I was so afraid of her lying to me again and breaking my heart. No, she moved back into her flat with our daughter Eudora. I offered Christine the chance to become the diva she once was, but she refused saying that she wanted to stay out of the spot light. Instead, she got a job in the Phantasma costume department and was quite happy with that. I offered the watch our daughter during the day so Christine could work, and then at night I brought her to Christine's flat. This went on for years. In those years, I got to see our daughter take her first steps, speak her first words, and it made my heart leap with joy. Though, as much as I wanted to be her father, I couldn't be anything more than a close family friend.

The bastard press saw my face and plastered it all over the morning papers. The stares became worse ever since that day….I was known as the "Hideous genius," and it hurt more than anything to know that people knew what I looked like. The lasso I was hung with had scarred my neck, and I was told I would never sing again….speaking was hard enough. Even four years later I was still struggling with my speech. Yes, I could talk, but my voice was still raspy, and sometimes I would stutter. Though, Christine never left my side, and her feelings never changed. She still smiled at me and laughed when in my presence….to her I wasn't the monster everyone made me out to be.

Eudora had grown into a beautiful little girl. She had soft ebony hair that came down past her shoulders, gorgeous blue eyes, and Christine's smile. She was an extremely curious child, and when ever she would go through my things, I saw myself…..I was indeed a curious child when I was her age.

I was sitting at my desk one morning, working on some of the closing statements for Phantasma. There was only a week left in the season, and would be closed down for winter. It was then that I heard the door opening.

"We're here Erik." I heard my Christine happily chant.

"And we brought breakfast." I heard Eudora's childish yet beautiful voice reply.

I turned around to see my four year old daughter walking in beside Christine wearing a beautiful purple and white dress. In Christine's hands she had a box of pastries from the bakery. If there was one thing she always did, it was keeping me fed. She always brought me breakfast, and we had dinner together almost every night when she was finished with work.

Eudora ran over to me, and wrapped her small arms around my neck.

"Did you miss me, uncle?" she giggled.

"Yes, those whole ten hours apart was driving me mad." I teased back.

Christine smiled and pulled our daughter away from my neck.

"Eudora, go easy on him, you know how sensitive his neck is."

"It's ok, Christine, really."

Eudora went to the other side of the room and began to play with the doll house I had given her for her birthday just a few weeks ago.

"I'm sorry about that, Erik." Christine said, running her hands around my neck ever so softly. "She gets so excited sometimes."

"It's fine. You should really be going. You're going to be late for work, darling."

I turned back towards my work to continue writing, when I felt Christine's hands begin to gently glide through my hair.

"Erik, I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I lay in bed at night wanting nothing than to feel your lips again."

"Is that really something to be talking about in front of the child?" I growled.

"She can't hear us."

I sighed, and placed my quill down on the papers.

"Christine, we've discussed this again and again. You know we can't be together in such a way. It still hurts, very much."

"I told you I was sorry, Erik. I shouldn't have lied….and I promised you I wouldn't do it again."

"Christine, please leave things as they are."

I knew Christine was unsatisfied with my answer, but it was the way things needed to be.

"I'm…I'm going to get going now. I'll come back tonight."

"Yes, Eudora and I shall make dinner."

With that, my angel walked out. Once the both of us were alone, I went back to working, only to have Eudora come and lean on my desk.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"My mother really likes you, uncle."

"Yes, and she really likes you too."

"Why don't you like her?"

"I do, Eudora, now go play with your dolls."

"But uncle."

"But nothing. I must work, and you must play."

When my daughter went back to playing, I continued working. Sometimes it amazed me to realize that my daughter had never asked me about my mask or about my face. She had never seen it, and I hope she never does. When I was finished with my paper work, I turned to see Eudora playing with her dolls in the corner of the flat.

"I'm going into Phantasma to mail some paperwork."

My daughter smiled widely, and shot to her feet.

"Great, I love going to Phantasma."

My daughter clung her little hand into my own, and we walked into Phantasma together. I carried my paperwork to my office, and bent over to reach for an envelope. Only when I turned back around, my daughter was no where in sight.

"Eudora?" I called out her name, but she didn't answer. Yes, I loved my daughter with my whole heart, but sometimes she made me extremely angry, especially when she would disappear….she seemed to do it a lot, and she had gotten so good at it that she hardly made a sound when stepping away. Why did she have to be so much like me?

"Eudora?"

I stepped out into the hallway of the Phantasma opera house, only to see a nearby door wide open. I stepped into the doorway, spotting my daughter standing in front of a large mirror wearing one of the sparkling dresses my dancers wore on stage. The dress was too big for her, and the skirts were bunched up around her tiny feet.

"What are you doing?" I growled. "You ran off again, oh, Eudora…."

She gasped, and turned to face me.

"Sorry…."

"And what are you doing to my dresses?"

"I like it."

"You're ruining my dress. A dancer does have to wear it for the closing show tonight."

"I want to be a dancer."

My little daughter was so innocent, so innocent that I couldn't stay mad at her for more than a few moments. I pulled the dress over her head, and hung it back up.

"You've got a long time to think about what you want to do for the rest of your life, little one."

"Uncle, what did you want to be when you were a child?"

This made me think. No one ever asked me that question. Did I ever think I would be living in Coney Island in my own amusement park? Definitely not. I should be back in Paris writing arias for Christine…..

"I wanted to write music."

I scooped my daughter up onto my shoulders, and began walking out.

"Why don't you do it?"

"Because people don't see me for who I really am."

"I don't understand…"

"You will when you're older."

"Can we pay mother a visit? We never visit her at work."

"I suppose she could probably use a break."

I walked down the stairs that led to the clothing department of the opera house. It was dark, and a little warm, but Christine told me time and time again that she didn't mind the conditions. Once there, I spotted her sitting at a worktable, sewing a torn dress.

"Mother!"

Christine looked up, and smiled. I set our daughter down, and watched her run over to Christine.

"What are you doing here, sweetheart?"

"I asked uncle if we could visit."

Christine looked up at me, her curls soaked with sweat.

"You look warm, Christine. Would you like to get some fresh air?"

Christine looked down at her dress, and then back at me.

"I really shouldn't, I have to get this dress done."

"Nonsense, I'm your boss, and I say you need a break."

Christine placed it down, and I helped her up.

"Come, you should get some air."

"Ok, but not too long. You do need to have that dress on a dancer tonight."

"Oh, let her dance in the nude. It's only Meg for God's sake….she's been begging me to make her into some vaudeville skin flasher."

"Erik, I will do no such thing." she teased.

Once outside, I took Christine down to the beach and we watched out daughter chase after some seagulls.

"Is she causing you too much problems?"

"No, never, I love her, Christine."

"I know you do, Erik."

Christine intertwined her hand with my own.

"I just hope she's not too much for you."

I pulled my hand away from her own, and stood in front of her.

"You think I can't care for my daughter? Is that it, Christine?" I growled.

"Erik, I never said that….please don't think I would ever say that."

"Oh, Christine, it sounds so much like that."

"I would never think that, Erik….."

She looked down at her feet, and then back at me.

"Could we go out?"

"Out? What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"Erik, it's been so long since it has been just you and I. I used to love going to your restaurant."

Why? Why was this woman begging me to go out with her? Why couldn't she leave things as they were? Things had been going so perfectly….why did she want to bring pain into our relationship?

"Christine, I don't think you know what you're asking."

"Yes, yes, I do. I've waited four years for this, Erik. Don't you think I've been punished enough. Is four years not enough to prove myself to you? I haven't lied to you in four years, Erik."

"But that's the thing, Christine, we haven't been in a relationship for four years. We hardly speak if we speak at all."

"Then give me the chance."

She looked at me, her eyes begging me to give her another chance. I couldn't. I had given her two chances already and yet, how was I to give her another only to have my heart break into two? And we had a daughter…how could I ever bring such anguish into her life? She believed me to be an uncle….how could I ever betray her trust in such a way.

"Why are you shouting?"

We both heard our daughter's worried voice, only to look over and see her standing two feet away from us.

"It's nothing sweetheart." Christine assured.

"Yes, we were just leaving. You have to get those dresses mended." I said. "Wouldn't want to keep you from your work."

"Erik…"

"I said we'll talk later."

And with that, Christine walked back towards the opera house as we walked back to my flat.

"Uncle, what was mother talking to you about?"

My daughter was well educated for her age, and I knew once she started school, she would be ahead of the other children. She took after me in everyway. When I was her age, I was already writing beautiful arias and playing on the piano when my mother wasn't around. My daughter was me in everyway, and yet, she didn't find the resemblance strange at all.

"Adult things, little one. You wouldn't understand."

"Did you know mother talks about you at home a lot?"

"Yes, because she cares about me, just as much as she cares for you."

"Don't you care about her?"

"Eudora, I love your mother very much."

"Then why don't you love her enough to take her out on a….a bate…"

I had to laugh at my daughter mistake.

"It's called a date, little one. You shouldn't be concerned about such things. Besides, your mother and I are very good friends."

"But you just said you love her…"

"As a friend, Eudora. Now play with your dolls."

That night, long after Christine picked Eudora up, I was laying in bed slowly drifting off to sleep. It was when I heard my grandfather clock strike midnight that I heard a knock occur at my door. I sat up, and reached over for my walking stick to balance myself while walking towards the door. When I opened it, I saw Christine standing there in her cloak, and she was alone.

"Christine, what in god's name are you doing here at this hour? And where is our daughter?"

"She's asleep, I had to see you."

I groaned. I knew Christine wasn't going to leave until she got what she wanted. She was just as stubborn as me sometimes.

"Come in, and make it quick. Our daughter shouldn't be left alone for long."

Once Christine was inside, I closed the door and turned around to see her standing right in front of me. Her hands slowly glided up my nightshirt, and wrapped around my neck.

"Erik, I've missed you so much."

I gently placed Christine's hands into my own, trying to keep control over my body.

"Christine, I hope you didn't come here thinking that privacy was going to change anything."

"No, I didn't. Erik, I know I can stand here and tell you I'm sorry over and over again, but I know that's not going to change a thing. But I really do love you Erik. I know we have a lot of problems to work out, but I know we can get through them."

"I find that hard to believe. Things might be ok for a little while, but they won't last. Besides, when are we going to have time to work out or problems? You work, I work…Eudora is always around…."

"I didn't say here, Erik. We need a break, we've been needing this break for well over four years now."

"What in God's name are you talking about, Christine?"

"We need to get away from Coney Island for a while. Closing day is just around the corner and it be nice to spend a few weeks some place else other than in the confinements of our flat. They don't close the ports anymore like they used to for the winter. Getting away is something we truly need."

I tried to think of something…anything that would get me out of thinking the same thing. But what could I say? We needed this….We've been needing this for the longest of time.

"You really think that a holiday is going to solve all of our problems?"

"Erik, we need to spend some time together. Our hearts need mending, and I know sitting around here working all the time is going to do nothing for us."

"Where would we go?" I asked.

"Paris. We could go back to the Opera House, see a show, take Eudora shopping. Please say we can go, Erik."

I turned towards the fire place, thinking about everything that's happened. Could time away with Christine truly get us back to being together? I didn't see how, but I was willing to try it out for Christine's sake. I would do anything for her…..anything.

"Ok, but…but I'm not ready to share the same room with you, or the same bed….It takes time, Christine. My heart….you know what it's been through. We'll go together as a family, but things are not going to change. I can't promise you anything….you know that."

"That's better than nothing."

I yawned, and headed towards the kitchen with Christine following me.

"Since you woke me up, I might as well make some tea. It's been helping me sleep lately."

I placed a kettle over the stove, and turned back towards Christine.

"Would you like a cup? I have your favorite."

"Yes, thank you."

The room fell silent, and I knew our conversation was growing weak. I felt terrible…this was the love of my life, and yet, I had nothing to say to her. Perhaps our love had truly died…..Had I no love for this woman left within my heart?

"How is your throat, Erik?" I heard her ask. "Does it still bother you?"

"Talking is a struggle, but it's nothing I can change. You must hate the sound of my voice….."

"Never, Erik. You're still the same person you always were, no matter the sound of your voice."

This made me smile.

"Sometimes my employees have a hard time understanding me when I talk. It's certainly a change from what I used to sound like."

When my kettle boiled, I poured her a cup of tea, and took a seat beside her.

"Eudora is so much like you, Erik. Just last week she drew a picture of Skimbleshanks. It was beautiful…..She has your artistic skills."

"That's to be expected. She can probably sing too…"

"I only heard her singing once…..it sounded like an angel."

Once more I smiled.

"She gets that from you."

"I find that hard to believe. You know you can sing better than me."

I reached my hand across the table, and embraced her hand with my own.

"No, Christine. You are an angel like no other."

Christine quickly finished her tea, and stood up.

"I should be going. Eudora will be looking for me."

I stood up as well, and walked her to the door.

"I'll get us the tickets to Calais." I said. "And I'll finish packing up Phantasma as soon as possible."

Christine smiled.

"You were always a man of your word, Erik."

"Goodnight, Christine. Give Eudora a kiss for me."

"I will."

And with that, Christine left. Perhaps all my love for her hadn't been drained from my heart after all….

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