"I never saw me look so sad

And never quite so pale

I said I never felt so bad

While leaning on the rail

And leaning there it caught my eye

Those words I said to me.

"Will I get worse before I die?"

Then through up in the sea…"-Excerption from the diary of Erik.

Erik's POV

I had a hard time sleeping that night. The ship rocked restlessly back and fourth, causing my stomach to do the same. I checked my pocket watch over and over again, hoping morning would arrive soon. For days this went on, and my stomach never settled. I spent most of the journey laying in bed with Christine knocking on my door from time to time checking to see if I was ok.

It had been days since I slept, and I was glad to find that it was the last day of our journey. I had finally stopped throwing up, and closed my eyes in hope of getting some rest. It was then that my door opened and Eudora came walking in carrying her doll.

"Uncle, are you awake?"

I rolled over and groaned into my pillow.

"No, I'm talking in my sleep."

My daughter giggled, and jumped up on my bed.

"You don't look so good, uncle."

"I'm tired."

"Then you should sleep."

I knew Eudora didn't understand what I was trying to tell her, and I didn't want to be cruel. I rolled over on my back, and Eudora plopped herself into my lap.

"Where is your mother?"

"She's getting us lunch."

I ran my fingers through my wig, and sighed.

"No she's not…."

"Yes she is. Mother says you need to eat."

"Curse your mother, Eudora…" I groaned.

"You're so stubborn, uncle."

I rolled back over, causing my daughter to fall off my lap and onto my mattress. I closed my eyes, only to feel her small fingers playing with the hair of my wig.

"Stop, Eudora, can't you see that I'm trying to rest."

"Can you show me the trick?"

"What trick?"

"The magic trick?"

"No, now can you be quiet for five minutes?"

She silenced herself, and I sighed in relief, but that relief didn't last any longer than a few seconds because I began feeling her doll bouncing up and down on my side.

"Eudora…." I opened my eyes to see her playing with her doll, walking it across my side.

"What? Lilly is crossing the bridge."

"Go find another bridge, Eudora. Please let me sleep."

"But your body is thin like a bridge. The bed frame is too thick."

"Eudora…."

But before I could continue, Christine walked in carrying a tray.

"Eudora, are you aggravating Erik?"

"No mother, we're playing."

Christine sat the tray down on my night table, and picked Eudora up into her arms.

"Come on, love. Erik needs his rest."

She sat our daughter in a chair across the room, and handed her half of a sandwich.

"You didn't have to bring me lunch, Christine." I told her, sitting up against my bed frame. "I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten a thing in days, Erik. You need your strength."

Christine produced a bowl of soup, and held a spoonful of it up to my lips.

"There's nothing in it, Erik. But you need to eat, you're going to need your strength for when we dock in Paris tonight."

I opened my mouth, and received the chicken broth. It didn't taste very appetizing, but it was nourishment….

"It shouldn't upset your stomach."

"So where are we going once we arrive in Paris?" Christine asked.

"I have a house in town. It's been years since I last lived there, but it's shelter from the night."

Christine smiled, and ran her fingers over my pale forehead.

"You never told me you owned a home in Paris."

"I was going to live there…." I said. "With you…."

Christine's cheeks turned red with embarrassment, and she took the now empty bowl away.

"I'm sure it will be a very pleasant getaway."

I tried to relax the remainder of the day, and that night, when the ship docked, Christine and Eudora stayed close to my side as we exited. The night was dark and cold, but not as cold as Coney Island was. My daughter fell asleep in my arms, and I carried her through the streets as we headed towards my home. Years ago when I loved in Paris, I bought a home right down the street from the Opera house. I was going to surprise Christine with it after proposing to her, but…..that never happened. She wanted a life above ground, and I was willing to grant it to her. It was nothing more than a small brick building with five bedrooms, a dining room, a music room, a living room and a bathroom, but it would do. Once inside, Christine followed me up the stairs where I placed Eudora down in the smallest bedroom. After placing her down on the unused bed, I removed her shoes, and pulled the blankets over her.

"She looks like an angel when she sleeps." Christine whispered.

"Like you."

We slowly crept outside the room, and I closed the door behind me.

"Come on, I'll show you to your room."

I led Christine to a room down the hall, and opened the door. This was the exact same room I was going to give her once we moved in, and it was still in the same condition I left it in. There was a four poster bed on one end of the room and a large vanity placed near the window.

"I do hope this will be suitable for you."

Christine placed her bags down on the floor, and circled the room in amazement.

"It's perfect."

"I bid you goodnight then."

"Wait."

I turned around, wondering what Christine wanted.

"Where is your room?"

I pointed down the hall.

"First door on your right, Christine. It's the master bedroom."

When Christine went into her room, I walked to my own. It had been years since I last slept here. I opened the door, and turned on the lights only to see my furniture covered in white sheets. I pulled back the sheet that was draped over my arm chair, and did the same to my desk. Afterwards, I started a fire in the fireplace, and changed into my nightclothes. Yes, I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. I sat there in my arm chair, staring into the flames, wondering when sleep would over take me.

Yes, Christine was staying here, but for some reason, I still felt lonely. I always felt lonely, and yet, I had a daughter and a woman who loved me. A few hours later, I heard a knock at my door, only to turn and see Christine standing there in her nightgown.

"When I told you where my room was, it wasn't an invite to visit later." I said, turning back to face the fire.

"I couldn't sleep."

"And neither could I….we're even."

But this wasn't enough. Seconds later she came walking over to me, and leaned on my armchair.

"Could we talk?"

I ran my fingers through the gray strands of hair on my bald head and sighed

"About what?"

Christine crawled into my lap, and looked into the fire.

"Remember when we used to do this?" she sighed.

"Yes, I do. It was a long time ago."

"I miss it, Erik."

"I have to admit that I do too."

Christine turned to me, and laid her head on my shoulder.

"I like it here."

"Let's not talk about this, Christine. You know as good as me that the past can't be changed."

"I hope it can, Erik."

I reached out for Christine's bare feet, and clasped my hand around one of them.

"Your feet are freezing."

"They are a little cold."

I began massaging them with my hand, hoping to get them warm.

"This house can be a little cold at times. Which is why I always keep the fireplace lit."

"I don't have one in my room." she teased.

"That's because the fireplace warms the rest of the house."

Christine looked around the room, and then back at me.

"Without company this house could get very lonely."

"I know."

"So what do we have planned for tomorrow?"

"I was thinking about seeing Madame Giry. I'm sure she would love to see you."

"Yes, I'm sure she would."

"Perhaps the two of us could get something to eat. Maybe go to the opera house…."

"Sounds fine to me."

It was then that I took out my pocket watch to notice it was after midnight.

"It's getting late, Christine. We should really be going to bed."

Christine looked up at me, her eyes giving me the most seductive expression I had ever seen.

"Are you saying that because you want to go to bed? Or because you want to be alone?"

"Are you questioning me, Christine?" I chuckled.

"Perhaps."

"If you must know, it's getting extremely late, and getting to such an inappropriate time for visiting. We'll see each other in the morning."

Christine yawned.

"I'm not tired, Erik."

"You sound it, Christine."

"I'm not."

"Christine, it's getting late. Come now…."

I stood up, and walked Christine to the door.

She cupped my cheek lovingly before bidding me goodnight.

"Goodnight, Christine."

When she was gone, I closed my door, and crawled into bed. I found it hard to fall asleep because of my horrible nightmares, and tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. When ever I would fall asleep, I would wake up sometime later gasping for air from the horrible dreams I had. When I could no longer lay there, I donned my robe, and quietly hurried down the hallway. Once I was down the stairs, I entered the kitchen I had never used. I placed a kettle of water on the stove to make some tea, and turned to look out the window. It was still dark, but there was snow falling heavily.

"Uncle?"

I heard the sound of a small voice, only to turn and see Eudora standing there in the doorway rubbing her eyes.

"Little one, it's very early. What are you doing up?"

"I had a night scare."

I approached the child, and lifted her up into a chair.

"You mean a nightmare."

My daughter was so much like me. She had nightmares just like I did…

"It's only a dream, little one, they can't hurt you."

"But they feel so real. Mother doesn't understand them…"

"I do. I know what you're feeling."

Her little blue eyes widened.

"You do?"

"Yes, I have them too."

"In my dreams, I'm running….I think someone is chasing after me, but I never see him."

"It's just a dream."

"But it's so scary, uncle….I've been having them a long time now. I can't sleep….I cry…Oh, uncle, I'm so scared."

I lifted my daughter's chin up, and gave her a kind smile.

"Hey, how about we forget about these nightmares for now and get some breakfast."

"Ok."

"What'll it be then, little one?"

My daughter shrugged, and I began rummaging through my cabinets.

"Waffles?"

"Ok."

I poured the mix into a bowl, and placed it in front of my daughter.

"I can't do it alone. Will you help me?"

Eudora leaned forward, and took the wooden spoon in her hand.

"Mix, don't stop…." I teased, watching her mix the batter.

"How much longer, uncle?"

"Faster, little one…."

I let my daughter continue with this while I prepared the stove.

"My arms is tired, Uncle….Can I stop now?"

"Sure."

I came behind my daughter, and lifted her into the air. She giggled, and I took her hands in my own as she poured the batter into the pan.

"And now what, uncle?" she laughed.

"We wait. The food has to cook, but you are a definite chef."

I sat her back down in her chair, and sat across from her.

"Thanks, uncle, I feel better now."

"I'm glad."

"But I'm still afraid to go to sleep."

I ran my fingers through her soft hair in hopes of making her forget about the nightmares.

"What's going on?"

It was Christine. I looked up to see her walking into the kitchen wearing her robe.

"Are we being too loud?" I asked.

"No, I'm just wondering why Eudora is up so early?"

Eudora ran to her mother, and buried her head into Christine's robe.

"I had a night scare, mother."

"A what…"

Christine's face turned serious, and she told Eudora to go change. When we were alone, Christine came into the kitchen.

"When were you planning on telling me this, Christine?" I strictly questioned.

"Erik, every child has nightmares."

"Don't pull this with me, Christine. You know how severe my nightmares are….it's only logical that she'd have them passed on to her by me. How long has she been having them?"

"A few weeks now."

"And yet, you didn't tell me. Christine, I could help her….We could work through them together."

"How, Erik? By telling her you were raped? That she inherited the nightmares from you; her father?"

I slammed my hands down on the counter, and felt my blood angrily boiling.

"Well, what's better? Having her lose sleep? Christine, she needs her sleep. She's just a child for God's sake."

"And I am her mother."

"And I am her father!"

I turned back around to check on the cooking food, only to feel angrier than before.

"I want to make something perfectly clear, Christine. If you have any hope of us getting back together, I suggest you start with telling me about things like this."

"I'm sorry, Erik." she whimpered.

"She's my daughter too, Christine. I should know things about this."

"Sorry."

After eating breakfast, Christine and I walked with Eudora towards Madame Giry's. Once there, I knocked and took a step back away from the door.

"Uncle, why are we here?" I heard Eudora ask.

"An old friend." I simply stated.

When the door opened, Madame Giry immediately embraced Christine, and smiled excitedly.

"Christine! Erik….Look at you…."

"Yes, we came for a visit."

"Yes, Meg has been writing me about you and Phantasma. Where is that beautiful little girl of yours…."

Christine pulled Eudora forward, and Madame Giry gasped at the sight of her.

"My God, she's beautiful."

"Thank you." Christine turned red at Madame Giry's remark.

"And look at me, keeping you out in the cold….come in."

She moved aside, and we entered.

"Let me get you something to drink."

Madame Giry left Christine and Eudora in the living room, and pulled me into the kitchen.

"Erik, I didn't think you had it in you." she teased, fetching a kettle to put on the stove.

"Madame, enough." Christ, the last thing I needed was for Eudora to hear all of this.

"Sorry, it's just that she's so beautiful."

"Yes, she is. But I'm sure Meg has told you the information that needs to stay secret. I am to be as her uncle and nothing more."

"Erik, it's been four years. Isn't it time to forgive Christine and move on with your life?"

I rubbed my masked temple with my hand, groaning at the aggravation Madame Giry was causing.

"Please, Madame, don't bring this up."

"Erik, she's written me letters over the years, and there is nothing I have read that would doubt Christine's love for you."

"We're taking things day by day, Madame."

"Yes, and you're still breathing so stop wasting valuable time with her."

I peeked out at Christine playing dolls with our daughter. They were beautiful together….so beautiful.

"You used to tell me how much you wanted Christine to love you…..And it happened."

"You didn't see her lie." I snapped.

"Oh, come now, Erik….You lied to her first. You told her you were the "Angel of Music." You know how she reacted when she found out you were a man…But she found it within her heart to forgive you."

"This is different." I growled.

"How different? Stop being so stubborn, Erik."

Madame Giry handed me a cup of steaming hot tea, and I thanked her.

"And look at you. You're nearly an old man."

"Come now, I'm not that old."

To tease me, Madame Giry tugged off my wig to expose the gray strands of hair on my head.

"You're not a spring chicken either."

I frantically placed my wig back on, and stepped away from her.

"You don't look so young yourself."

Madame Giry smiled and peeked out at Christine.

"Yes, but look at Christine. She is so beautiful….she gets even more beautiful with age, wouldn't you agree?"

"Of course I do. I think she's the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on."

"So what were you thinking about doing while you're here?"

"Getting some rest." I scoffed. "And touring the city."

"Paris is the most romantic city known to man. You should spend time together…just the two of you."

"And so we will."

"I'd be more than happy to watch Eudora."

Madame Giry and I walked out into the main room with Christine and Eudora.

"Erik was just telling me how excited he is to take you out into the city, Christine."

I nudged Madame Giry, but Christine was already onto us.

"Really?"

Her eyes seductively turned to me.

"Madame was just teasing with me…."

"I was not. You wanted to take Christine to the Opera house and around town…"

"Stop it, Madame."

"Well then, we shouldn't waste another moment." Christine replied, standing to her feet.

"I said no such thing, Christine."

But Christine didn't listen, she pulled me to my feet smiling ever so happily.

"I'll watch Eudora." Madame Giry promised. "Her and I can get to know each other."

I pulled away from Christine, trying to think of an excuse to stay.

"No, this is up to Eudora." I argued. "It should be up to her."

I turned towards our daughter, hoping she would give me the answer I was looking for.

"Ok, Eudora, I want you to tell me. Do you want to stay here while your mother and I go out?"

Eudora looked at Christine, and then to me….

"Yes."

"See, Erik, come on…." Christine was playfully trying to pull me away.

"No." I pulled back. "Tell me the truth Eudora. You don't want to stay here with this stranger."

"I want you and mother to go out together." she told me.

"Why on earth would you want that?"

It was then that Eudora pulled me down to her height and whispered into my ear.

"Because mother loves you….and I know you love her too."

I was out of excuses to stay. It was then that Christine bid her goodbyes and pulled me out of the house…..We were alone together, with Christine hoping our mending would begin….Well, here goes nothing….

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