Chapter Six

Jag had missed the military.

He missed the strict discipline. He missed the chain of command. He missed the crisp uniforms.

He did not, however, miss the pointless regulations. Upon their arrival at the Galactic Alliance mobile base at Bespin, Jaina had immediately been enlisted into the Crux Squadron, an elite group of fighter pilots. Within two hours, Jaina had already begun to modify her new X-Wing to her liking. Jag had not been so lucky. The medical tests he received on Csilla were not enough for the Galactic Alliance chain of command. He'd been put through various physical and medical tests. He'd undergone psychological examinations. The only emotion the doctor had managed to evoke from Jag had been annoyance. He'd undergone flight simulation tests and evolutions. He'd finally been cleared and had been given a spot in the Grey Squadron, a fairly talented squadron.

Jaina had waited a whole three minutes after hearing the news before pointing out that Jag would be flying an X-Wing. Jag had just brushed off her teasing. He enjoyed hearing her laugh. In the two days they had been on base, Jaina's moods had ranged from angry to depressed to annoyed. Upon leaving the Shelter, she had spent most of the voyage locked in one of the cabins. She had acted uncharacteristically cheery any time she'd left the room. When they were alone, she'd been quiet. Jag knew what was wrong. He'd felt similar emotions ever since leaving the children.

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Jag glanced up from the datapad he was supposed to be reading. Jaina was drying her hair with a towel as she exited the refresher. She caught his glance and gave him a weak smile. To say their relationship had been a bit awkward since his return would be an understatement. He loved her; there was no doubt there, but there were so many unanswered questions. They had both changed. She'd asked him questions that he couldn't answer. She had become so accustomed to acting alone that she wouldn't let him in. It was a battle he knew they would have to win.

Jag stood up from the couch and placed the datapad on the steel table against the wall. Jaina had put the towel the laundry bin by the refresher door. She moved to sit down on the bed, but Jag stopped her with a hand on her arm. He gently tugged her close to him. She stared at him, brown eyes swirling with emotions.

"What's wrong?" Jaina asked quietly.

Jag began to open his mouth, closed it and went to try again, but the words wouldn't come out. He wanted to tell her it would be okay. He wanted to tell her that Ani and Davin were fine and they would see them again soon. He wanted to tell her it'd be over soon. He wanted to assure her that they could be happy again. He couldn't, though. He couldn't lie to her.

No matter how much he wanted to believe it.

So instead, he dropped a soft, quick kiss on her lips, nudged her off him, and then went to shower.

Jaina watched as the steel door to the refresher closed. She bit her lower lip as she sank onto the bed. Years ago, Jag had stopped blocking his mind from her senses. She had no doubt that his metal walls worked against other Jedi, but even when he tried to keep her out, she could still sense something was wrong. Jaina wasn't stupid. She knew that they could not go back to the way they were before. She had known he would be different. Jacen was a testament to this. He was more reserved, darker, and quieter than he had been before. The boy she had grown up with was gone. There were many times that Jaina couldn't reach him. She felt cut off from him much more than she was comfortable with. To think that Jag would be similarly unavailable set Jaina on edge.

In the two weeks since his return, Jag had behaved exactly how everyone had hoped he would. He had acted normal around his parents and siblings. He'd slipped back into the role of the perfect father and seemed to be the same loving husband. What he hadn't done was completely let Jaina in. He'd cared for her, touched her, but wouldn't talk to her. She didn't expect him to give her a complete detailed report of his captivity, but he wouldn't give even a hint as to what he'd gone through.

She didn't think he understood that she changed, too. She'd spent years alone. She'd done what was necessary for her two children. She'd grown up from that impulsive teenager who had joined the Rogue Squadron and married the first man she fell in love with. She had to become the woman she needed to be, working without a partner in both the field and in raising her children. She only prayed that she and Jag could overcome these roadblocks. It was as if they were two planets orbiting each other.

Jaina stretched out with the Force to her husband. Frustration boiled through his veins like fire. She pulled back, as if she'd been burned. She rubbed her eyes as she sank back onto the bed.

The door opened and Jag stepped out. He switched off the light and slipped into bed next to her. Jaina hesitated, and then rolled closer to him. She propped herself up on one elbow and peered at his face. A small beam of light streamed in through the tiny window on the opposite wall. She stared at his light green eyes, the eyes that haunted her every day for years. Jag reached out with one hand and caressed her cheek.

She touched her forehead to his and closed her eyes, "I love you. Don't ever forget that."

The Bespin base was the main military base for the Galactic Alliance. The Yuuzhan Vong had destroyed Cloud City; a complete mechanical city that defied gravity was seen as a massive abomination to them. The Vong had no use for the gas giant and there were no beings left to sacrifice or enslave. It was the perfect location for a base.

Jag and Jaina walked through one of the corridors leading to the hanger bay. Their conversation was light. Jag, having little experience flying with astromechs, was having problems with his droid. Jaina had insisted that she look at it rather than it be sent off to some mechanic, who she claimed, "Wouldn't know a thing about how a droid was supposed to work."

"You want your droid to have personality," she was saying.

"Like R2? No thank you. I've seen the fits he gives your uncle," Jag responded with a snort.

"You just want a Clawcraft back," Jaina responded with a knowing look.

"That droid needs a memory wipe."

"Who, R2?" Jaina asked, looking alarmed.

"No, mine."

"You can't. That will completely destroy its nature. You know, it would respond better if you gave it a name," Jaina said. "What's its number?"

"R7-D3."

"Hmm," Jaina thought, "let me think on that."

The sounds of X-Wings entering the hanger bay halted the conversation. Jag and Jaina watched as twelve X-Wings settled onto the duracrete floor. A wry smiled appeared on Jaina's face as a familiar presence appeared in the Force. She grabbed Jag's hand and pulled him towards the closest X-Wing.

"Well, well, well, Kyp Durron," Jaina said as Kyp dropped to the ground from his cockpit.

Kyp eyed her and responded with a grin, "Jaina Solo herself. Come to crack the whip? Are we not performing to your standards?"

Jaina shook her head in amusement, "Afraid not."

Kyp grinned, and then said, "Welcome back to the living, Fel."

Jag nodded, "Thank you."

"Have you two come to join our party?" Kyp asked.

"Looks that way," Jag responded.

"Where are the rugrats?"

Jaina's eyes flashed momentarily before responding in a clipped voice, "Shelter."

"Well, I better go find out where the squad is staying," Kyp said after a moment, aware of sudden tension that filled the air. He nodded goodbye and rushed away.

"Come on, Jag," Jaina snapped, "Let's go look at your droid."

Clang! Clang! The hydrospanner smacked fuselage of the X-Wing. Jag muttered a curse as a piece of the paneling hit the ground. He bent down and picked up the part. He grumbled as he grabbed a welder from his utility belt. He switched it on and began to reattach the panel.

"X-Wing problems?" Kyp's voice called.

Jag glared at the older man. He finished welding the panel on the fuselage and put his tool away. He turned to face Kyp and said, "I want to thank you for a pleasant morning."

Kyp's brow furrowed, "What are you talking about?"

"This morning," Jag responded. He knew it wasn't really Kyp's fault that Jaina's somewhat good mood had been ruined. He hadn't meant any harm with his comment. But it caused the repair job to turn into a massive argument that resulted in Jaina storming off.

"Oh, in the hanger? What was that about?" Kyp asked as he crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the fighter.

"Never mind," Jag muttered.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Jag glared at Kyp. He yanked the hydrospanner from his belt with excessive force and turned to recalibrate the quad lasers.

"I take that as a yes."

"Go bother someone else, Kyp,"

"I actually came to ask you a favor," Kyp said.

"What?" Jag said as he continued working.

"I wanted to offer you a spot in my squadron."

"Your squadron?" Jag asked, giving Kyp a skeptical look over his shoulder.

"Yes. I lost my XO and I need a second-in-command to take over while I'm working with the Jedi," he explained.

"And you want me?" Jag responded, voice filled with doubt.

"I already talked to your uncle about it. The position is yours if you want it. We're officially stationed here," Kyp added.

"I'll think about it," Jag said slowly.

"Go ask Jaina and let me know," Kyp said with a smirk and walked off. Jag rolled his eyes and turned back to his X-Wing.

Being the second-in-command in Kyp's squadron was more appealing than his current position. He hadn't flown with his group yet, but he'd met them. They were decent, but their style was far too lax for him. He'd remembered mostly good things about working with Kyp in the Twin Suns years ago.

About an hour later, Jag heard footsteps approach him as he put away his tools. He turned to see Jacen approach. The man had an unreadable expression on his face.

"Hello, Jag," Jacen said with a nod.

"Hello, Jacen," he responded. "Is there a problem?"

"Aside from the beating I just received from my sister, no," Jacen responded. "A refugee ship came through about an hour ago. Two of them claimed they were captured for a while. Thought maybe you could help me check them out."

"Sure," Jag responded. "What do you want me to do?"

"Make them nervous. Give them that cocky, superior look. Go all Imperial on them," Jacen stated with a wry look.

Jag shook his head, "I'll see what I can do."

The two men on the refugee ship cracked in ten minutes. Their "captivity" had been a scuffle with the Peace Brigade. Jag had given the two men a dressing down an admiral would give a green recruit. The refugee ship refueled and took off for an unknown destination. Many refugee ships had become homes for displaced beings. Taking in refugees could be the death of a planet, a fact proved early in the war. Occasionally a refugee ship would stumble upon a base and resupply, but the military couldn't afford to help the needy beings all the time.

"I hear you are joining Kyp's squadron," Jacen said as he and Jag walked away from the conference room they'd used for questioning.

"I haven't decided," Jag responded, not surprised that Jacen knew.

"You'll do it."

Jag raised an eyebrow and said, "Is that so?"

Jacen nodded, "Now tell me what you did to rile up my sister. She hasn't sparred that hard in a while."

"It wasn't me, it was Kyp," Jag muttered.

"Big surprise there," he snorted.

Jag glanced at his wrist chrono, "She should be on patrol right now."

"What did he do?" Jacen asked.

Jag waved off his comment, "He asked where the kids were. "

"Ah," Jacen responded.

"Never mind," Jag said. Jacen was about to say something else, but his comlink went off. He answered it and then turned to leave.

"You'll have to tell Wedge about that ship. I have to go," Jacen said and took off down the hallway. Jag nodded and continued to his uncle's office.

Jaina stumbled towards her quarters. It was late and she was exhausted. Her patrol had gone over an additional two hours. As she entered the room, she could see Jag standing in front of the small window with his hands clasped behind his back. She braced herself for the onslaught that was sure to come. Their argument that morning, which had been about nothing but pointless bickering, had been plaguing her all day.

Jaina removed her boots. She tugged off her flight suit and threw it in the laundry bin. She looked irritably at Jag. If Jaina was honest with herself, she wasn't truly mad at him. She wasn't even angry with herself. She was frustrated and felt like a failure as a mother. She didn't mean to take it out on Jag or anyone else, but she couldn't prevent the irritation from leaking out.

She stood up and started to walk to the refresher. A hand grabbed her upper arm and spun her around. She found Jag staring at her intently. He cupped her chin in his hand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, too," she responded. His lips descended upon hers. Her hands gripped the front of his shirt as he reached behind her head and removed the tie holding her hair. He held her against him for a few more moments, before moving from her lips. He rested his forehead on hers and said, "I don't want to fight anymore."

Jaina nodded and kissed him again, this time slow and sweet.

"I need to get cleaned up," she mumbled as she pulled back.

"I'll be waiting," he responded and pushed her towards the refresher door. She felt slightly more optimistic than she had when she came home.