Chapter Fifty-Five

~ Estel ~
This is how things are supposed to turn out, I thought, closing my eyes.

The confession. The kiss. Even just the love between us. And I wasn't prone to believing in fairytale romances, but . . . this may have just changed my mind about it. Well, maybe when it sunk in and I finally found the time to realize it was real and not a daydream or fantasy. And maybe not even then.

I had never seen Legolas so surprised as when my actions had finally sunk in. First he had pushed me away, startled. Then I had had to repeat what I had said – several times, actually. And then, when it had sunk in . . . I believed I had never seen someone so happy. It was like he was literally glowing with happiness. And he had picked me up and swung me around and we had kissed again, and it had been just as sweet as the first – although a great deal more passionate, now that it was clear where our feelings lay.

There was a rustle of cloth, and I felt Legolas's cool hand touch my hair. "~You aren't sleeping,~" he murmured.

"~I'm trying. But . . . ~" I rolled over to face him, smiling mischievously. "~But you – you are very distracting when I am trying, Legolas.~"

"~I can always leave . . .~"

"~No! I mean, no, no, don't, I didn't mean . . .~"

I trailed off as he laughed, blue eyes twinkling with amusement as I stumbled over my own words. I glared at him for making fun of me, but he only laughed harder before quickly gathering his composure and giving me a straight face. Well, unless I looked at his eyes, which were still laughing at me.

I sighed and rested my head on his chest. "~Legolas?~"

"~Yes?~"

"~When did you know?~"

He was silent for a moment; probably trying to figure out what I was talking about. "~What do you mean?~"

I sighed and shifted to look him directly in the eyes. I wanted his complete honesty, but more importantly, I wanted him to know I was being serious. "~I mean, when did you know that you . . . that you loved me?~" I elaborated.

Legolas's eyes became slightly distant. "~Hmm. . . I believe it was when Sauron tortured you,~" he said slowly. "~I was furious – more furious than I had been in a long time. It confused me. But actually, it had just been . . . gradually creeping up all along. Of course, by the time I realized it, I was ready to step aside, because it seemed you had already made our choice, and I didn't want to interfere.~"

"~So who gave the bravery to?~"

"~Besides you?~" he asked, amusement in his tone. I blushed, but he continued as though he hadn't seen. "~I overheard Aragorn and Eldarion talking. The realization that Aragorn knew . . . that was a big thing. I knew he wouldn't be fooled as I could fool myself. I decided then to give it one try – just one try, and if you rejected my suit, then I would step aside and bury my feelings.~"

Perhaps he realized that I was becoming drowsy, lulled by his voice, for he shifted to hold me more comfortably and asked, "~And you?~"

I blinked, startled. "~What?~"

He smiled patiently. "~And how did you know, meleth?"

I fell silent. His words had suited it best: "But actually, it had just been . . . gradually creeping up all along." But I couldn't copy them. Besides . . . I did know when I had finally accepted my feelings for him.

"~I think . . . I think I didn't realize anything until I kissed Éomer,~" I said hesitantly. "~I had buried my feelings so deep that I thought I actually loved him. But when I kissed him, I realized I didn't. There was no . . . no connection between us, just attraction. And then I knew that my feelings for him were just a desperate manifestation of my feelings for you – I wanted to love him, because I was scared of what would happen if I loved you.~"

"~Scared?~" he repeated, his voice shifting between surprise and concern. "~Scared of what?~"

"~That you would reject me or . . . or that you would sail to Valinor and leave me here, I guess,~" I muttered shamefacedly.

"~I wouldn't do that to you,~" Legolas reassured me instantly.

I sat up bolt upright. "~I won't let you fade, Legolas. You will have to leave me one day.~"

He sat up as well, reaching for me. I let him hold me, but only just. "~One day, yes,~" he agreed. "~But that day is long in the coming, Estel. You need not worry for it. Not yet. I will not leave whilst life burns in you still. Can you at least agree to that, as a compromise?~"

I held back. I wanted his word. I would not let him fade because of me. "~You promise to return to where you belong?~"

He inclined his head slightly. "~When all that holds me here is gone, yes. But only then.~"

I knew it was the best I was going to get out of him. He could be far more stubborn than me, and he could argue far better than me. In short, it would be best for me to take what he offered before he withdrew it all together.

I allowed him to draw me back to him. "~Thank you,~" I whispered.

He chuckled softly. "~You are so concerned for me, tithen pen, and yet it is you who is in far greater danger than I am.~" But before I could retort, he shifted and pressed his lips to my hair. "~Now sleep, meleth,~" he ordered softly, gently, lovingly.

An order I was happy to oblige, drifting off to sleep with Legolas's voice echoing in my ears.

~ Legolas ~
As carefully as I possibly could, I untangled my arms from Estel's sleeping figure. She was soundly asleep, but I knew she was a light sleeper; most of those with the blood of Númenor were, due to the influence of Elven blood and to the fact that many were warriors or, in the later years of this Age, part of the Dúnedain. As it was, I didn't want to wake her.

Sleep, my love, and rest in peace for another few hours.

The clouds of war were gathering. I could feel it. And I knew where I was going with Aragorn, and the one thing I knew about it was that I didn't want Estel anywhere near it. She would be rather upset with me for leaving her, but better her upset than dead.

Swiftly, I rose and packed. There wasn't much, something for which I was thankful for. But then again, I had always traveled light.

I was just adjusting one last strap when a cool voice asked, "~Planning to leave without me?~"

I froze. Valar. She did wake up. "~How long were you awake?~" I asked without turning around, knowing she would hear me.

There was a rustle of cloth and then she was standing right behind me. "~Long enough to know what you were planning. You are very quiet, Legolas, especially when you intend to be, but . . . but I know when someone leaves my side.~"

I sighed and turned, placing my arms around her and gazing in her clear, steady blue-gray gaze. "~I didn't want you to come.~"

"~I know,~" she murmured. "~But I'll fight regardless of what you want, Legolas. And I don't want to fight except besides you. So why can't I come?~"

I sighed again, but I knew I couldn't fight her. She was a free spirit; to cage her was to kill her. I knew that all too well, and despite the fact that I was wary of the danger she would face, I just didn't have the heart to be her captor – even if it was for her own safety.

"~Very well,~" I conceded. "~Pack. Quickly.~"

Estel grinned and kissed me on the cheek. And I hoped I wouldn't regret my decision.

~ Aragorn ~
"Just where do you think you're off to?"

Gimli's rough voice startled me so much that it took all the self-control I had not to jump. Instead, I turned to him – concealing my adrenaline rush in my movement, and said as calmly as I could, "Not this time. This time you must stay, Gimli."

He grunted in disapproval, standing anyways.

A flash of movement caught my eye, and I saw Legolas approach with his horse, Estel appearing silently beside him. Both were dressed for battle, and the horse was packed and provisioned.

"Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?" Legolas asked, amusement in his tone.

"Might as well accept it. We're going with you, laddie," Gimli added.

After a long moment, I sighed and hoisted Gimli on my horse. When I went to mount, however, I paused. Legolas had swung on quite easily; his Elven heritage gave him great agility. As I watched, Legolas extended a hand and helped Estel up. She murmured something brightly to him as he took the reins in one hand and put his other on her waist, and he laughed quietly at her words, smiling at her the whole time.

That smile.

It made me pause.

I had been friends with Legolas for many years, and I had seen many of his smiles – but never had I seen one like that. It was so full of love that I instinctively knew that only Estel would ever get it.

So. They are finally together. I swung up. Good.

Legolas would finally gain the trust, admiration, and appreciation that he needed, and Estel would get the protection, respect, and devotion she wanted. Both could, of course, live without them, but having them would make them more complete. And in return, both would get the love they had unknowingly sought and never found.

I glanced back, just in time to see Legolas stroke Estel's hair lovingly as she rested her head against his neck, closing her eyes and trusting him to keep her from falling.

Yes, until now never found. But now that it is, there can't have been a happier couple since Beren and Lúthien.

~ Estel ~
The sun had risen somewhat by the time we reached the Dimholt door, but the air didn't reflect that. It was cold, almost unbearably so, and I found myself glad that Legolas had insisted I don the cloak I had received from Lady Galadriel. I knew he could tell, because of the smug expression on his face, but when we halted in front of the door, it vanished as he read the inscription.

"The way is shut. It was made by those who were dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut," he finished.

Legolas swung off quickly, his face grim and his body tense. Aragorn dismounted less warily, but I noticed the tight grip he kept on his sword . . . on his new sword. Andúril. Forged from the shards of Narsil into the Flame of the West. The sword of the King.

"Estel," Legolas said quietly, reaching for me.

For a second, I hesitated as Legolas reached to help me down. Hadn't I told Éomer exactly that I thought it had been something only my husband would do? Yes, those had been my exact words to him: "Éomer, it isn't you. It's just . . . I always thought that that would be something only my husband would do. That's all."

Legolas hesitated, seeing the war in my eyes, for which I was grateful.

Then I put my hands on my shoulders and let him lift me off and settle me on the ground in the embrace of his arms.

It doesn't matter now, I told myself. Whether or not Legolas marries me or not, I still love him and he still loves me. He won't ever let me fall. And that is enough.

Gimli grunted suddenly. "The very warmth of my blood seems stole away," he muttered.

I shivered. For some reason, Gimli's exclamation seemed all the more right – and creepy – after Legolas had read the signs above the door. Which I wouldn't have been able to translate with him, but then again, without him, I probably wouldn't have come here.

Legolas looked down at me in concern, his hand loosening on the reins.

Just then, a fierce wind blasted out of the tunnel – and with equally fierce noise to follow that was as startling as the appearance of the wind. Every thought was instantly wiped from my mind as though the wind had blown through it too. The only thought that remained was an instinctive reaction that shouted, "Danger! Run!"

The horses obeyed. Neighing with fear and pawing at the air, they fled. Aragorn called for Brego, but for once the horse didn't obey him.

Legolas tensed, his arms tightening around me as though Orcs were clamoring for my blood right then and there. But there was no need; the compulsion died as quickly and as suddenly as the wind had appeared.

I leaned against him, feeling for once the need for protection.

Aragorn, however, seemed to have the opposite reaction. He whirled back to the cave and glared at it as though it was the Dark Lord itself. "I do not fear death!" Then he vanished inside.

Curious and worried, I made to follow – but Legolas stopped me.

"~If you wish to turn back,~" he said softly, his eyes searching mine for any hesitation or fear, "~now is the time.~"

I met his gaze squarely. "~I wish to continue. With you.~"

He sighed and hugged me gently, kissing my forehead. "~I should have known,~" he said with a rueful smile, "~that you would choose such. But you keep surprising me, meleth. Very well. But do not leave my side. Ancient forces are dangerous when roused.~"

"~Like you?~" I teased.

He only rolled his eyes as we walked inside.

meleth = my love ; beloved

tithen pen = little one