"Whether to keep the secret
Or Whether to reveal
This situation is purely like the sun
A never ending wheel…."- Excerption from the diary of Erik.
Erik's POV
I walked down the hallway after I left Christine. We kissed! It had been nearly a month since we've kissed like that, and now, we would finally make love again. My body was hot with feverish thoughts about what to do to Christine. Never had my hormones ever been this wild before…..They weren't even like this while I was still a virgin. I walked down the dark hallway, my fingers tugging anxiously at the buttons on my shirt. My heart was racing, as the wakened sparks within my body began rushing to my trousers.
"Uncle?"
That soft childish voice pulled me from my thoughts. It was Eudora. Her bedroom door was slightly ajar, and I knew she most likely had a nightmare. I took a few breaths to calm down my lust filled attitude before stepping into her room. She was laying in her bed, with one of her dolls pulled tightly to her chest….yes, indeed she definitely had a nightmare.
"What is it, little one?"
"C…Could I possibly have a hug?"
This brought back memories of when I asked my mother for a kiss. She of course had yelled at me and told me to go to my room, but a hug…..Why did my daughter even have to ask me for anything? I didn't hesitate a single moment, and bent down to take her within my arms. Her small hands wrapped themselves tightly around my back, as her little strength pulled me closer to her. But…..she was crying. Why? What was my little angel crying over?
"Eudora?"
I slightly pulled away to have a look at her tear soaked eyes. I took my hand and brushed away a tiny lock of her ebony hair away from her beautiful face.
"I…I thought I would never see you again, uncle." she sobbed. "You were so sick."
"Eudora, I'm perfectly fine now. I swear you will never lose me."
"I was so lonely when you were sick. I missed you so much, uncle Erik."
I pressed her to me once more, and rocked her small body in my arms.
"Little one, you know I love you more than anything in the world."
"Are mother and I spending Christmas here?"
She looked up at me, and I smiled down at her.
"Yes, little one, your mother and you are spending Christmas here with me."
I sat her up on my knee, and brushed another strand of hair out of her eyes.
"Now tell me what you would like for Christmas."
She put her head down, as if she were too afraid to tell me.
"Are you not sure? I'm certain you would love some more accessories for your dolls."
She shrugged her shoulders, and kept her head down. This saddened me greatly, causing me to slowly lift her chin to face my eyes.
"Eudora, tell me. You know you could tell me anything."
"Why bother saying what I want for Christmas when I know it's not even going to come true."
"Which is what? You know your uncle can grant any wish your heart desires."
"Not this one."
"Little one, tell me what you want."
She looked up at me, and wiped her soaked eyes.
"My papa…..But I know he won't be here. He's gone forever, and you can't bring him back."
"Eudora, you know my powers are weak against things such as that."
She lowered her head again.
"Right, because you can grant only what money can buy. You're rich….that's your power."
"There are things money can't buy."
"Yes, everything impossible, uncle."
"Eudora, I can't bring people back from the dead. You know that…."
"I know, but….but it's not just that either."
"What is it?"
"Even if I told you, you still wouldn't give it to me. There is nothing in this world that doesn't come without a price, uncle….even the free things are not possible."
"That's not true….Prove me wrong, Eudora."
"Show me your face."
This took me by surprise. I had gone completely speechless. Why would she ask me to do such a thing? When I didn't answer her, she became impatient.
"See, I told you…"
She sadly crawled beneath the covers, and turned away from me.
"Wh…Why would you ask me to do something like that?"
"Because I want to see what you really look like, uncle."
"There is nothing to see, and once you lay eyes on this unfinished mess, you will be afraid of me for the remainder of your life."
"But mother is not afraid of it! She can look on you and love! Why can I not do the same?"
"Eudora, please…."
She was tugging at my coat, but I turned away from her.
"I can look at your unfinished face and still love you, uncle."
"Even….even my own mother couldn't love me, Eudora. I wouldn't expect a small child to be able to look at me with a smile."
I stood to my feet, and headed towards the door.
"When, uncle? When will you open yourself up to me like you do with mother?"
I looked down at my feet, wondering what to say to her….If I ever showed myself to her and saw the pain and fear Christine once showed me, I would fall over and instantly die… To know that my daughter feared me would kill me faster than anything in the world.
"Never….I…I forbid it!" I growled.
With that, I shut the door, and headed back towards my room. Damn me! I was a horrible father! I was not only lying to her about my identity, but also about my face….Christ! Why was I given so much, only to treat such wonderful gifts like dirt off the street. I didn't deserve to be a loved, or be a father. When I made it to my room, the bathroom light was on, and even though the door was closed, I could still hear Christine's voice humming a happy tune from inside. Yes, I still wanted her, but…..Oh, so many things were on my mind. I undressed as quickly as I could, folding my clothes neatly before placing them into my wash bin. Afterwards, I slipped into nothing more than a long nightshirt, and crawled into bed.
I lay there looking up at the ceiling, wondering about my life, and why God had made me this way. But those thoughts simply faded away as the happy tune of Christine's voice filled my ears. This had been the first time in years, that I've actually heard her singing…It was sweet, and filled my heart with the love I had been missing out on….
When the tune ended, I looked over to see her coming out the bathroom with her robe wrapped around her body. She romped happily over to my bed, and in one extremely sexy motion crawled on top of me. My breathing caught within my throat, as the sight of her leaning on top of my body instantly turned me back on.
"You've changed." her voice was painfully slow, and her hands seductively teased the top button of my nightshirt.
My eyes were fixated on the silk robe she was wearing…I could see everything right through the damn piece of fabric. It was like looking at her body through a piece of glass, as if it were a science experiment or something. Her breasts, which I had not seen before my own eyes in almost five years were teasing me through that thin garment.
"Erik, are you still with me?" she teased, getting the first button of my nightshirt undone.
"Y..Yes…"
How badly Eudora was still on my mind, but I knew we could talk about this later. I couldn't put making love to Christine off any longer. But then I thought about the outcome of this making love to Christine situation. Where would we be once morning arrived? I could never be in a healthy relationship with her, knowing that Eudora would be lied to. I was her father for Christ sakes! How much longer would she have to be lied to! I was not her uncle, I was her father! But….the people….they would say such horrible things to Christine and her….
I could feel Christine's hands moving further and further down each button. No, this had to stop….
"Christine, please…..stop, get off me."
I gently flipped her to the empty side of the bed, and sat up, trying to button my shirt.
"Erik, what's wrong?" she confusingly asked. "Is it me? Am I hurting you?"
I took a breath to calm my nerves, and shook my head.
"No, mon ange, I…I can't do this."
"Do what?"
I motioned to my bed.
"This…Making love to you. I can't do it."
"Erik, what's gotten into you? What happened in the kitchen a few moments ago? We were kissing and…."
"I was losing control, that's what happened."
I ran my hands through my wig, and sighed.
"I just realized that making love to you would be a big mistake."
"Why, Erik? Why would it be a mistake?"
She was angry now, and I couldn't blame her. If I dolled myself up for twenty minutes only to be denied, I'd throw a worse fit than she was.
"Where will we be in the morning, Christine?"
"In bed….right here."
"No, I mean us….Where would this night of bliss leave us in the morning? Friends who fuck one another when needed or as lovers?"
"Is that what I am to you, Erik? A whore?"
I grabbed her hands, and pressed tiny apologetic kisses to them.
"No, mon ange, I'm so sorry. I did not mean that, and you know it. I'm just….Oh, it's Eudora, my love. She spoke to me just moments ago, and I upset her."
"What do you mean?"
Her voice was kinder now, and I felt more comfortable in explaining myself.
"She wanted nothing more for Christmas than to come out and see her papa standing there for her. I had to lie to her, Christine, and it hurt. Then she asked me to show my face to her. Christ! It hurts so much, Christine. I don't want to lie to her anymore. I don't care what the town's people say to me, it's you and her that I'm worried about. We can't do this, Christine. We can't make love and be in love. It will only end in horror."
I had expected Christine to be upset, but she was smiling. Her hand came and embraced my masked cheek ever so gently.
"Erik, I wouldn't expect you to be a full time lover to me… Not with your name already being in jeopardy at the moment. This can be our little secret."
"I don't want anymore secrets, Christine. Haven't we enough secrets swept beneath this rug of ours?"
"Erik, what I meant was this relationship doesn't need to be public. We can stay friends or what ever we are now during the day, and be lovers by night. As long as you're not out and about Coney Island holding my hand, no one will ever know."
"Do you promise, Christine? To keep this between you and I, that is…"
"Yes, Erik."
She pressed her lips to my own.
"I love you, Erik, and I would never do anything to hurt you."
It was then that I couldn't hold myself back any longer, and kissed Christine again with more passion than I had ever known. Moments later, she hopped back onto me, and began unbuttoning the buttons I had fastened. I couldn't control my urges any longer, and ran my fingers up the side of her robe, feeling warm flesh against my fingers. When my shirt was completely off, I felt her lips nipping at my neck, as my hands continued to run up and down her body. When I couldn't take not touching her any longer, my hands cupped her breast through her robe, causing her to groan my name.
"Yes, mon ange…." I breathlessly purred. "Say it again…"
Once more, my fingers cupped her breasts, arising another cry from her.
I looked up towards the ceiling, feeling her hands running all over my body. When I gazed down to have another look at her, she was no longer laying atop of me…no, she was working her way down below my waist, not leaving an inch of my flesh untouched.
"Just let me know if I'm hurting you." she cooed, gently kissing around my healing wounds.
I lay there, my body burning from her touch, her hands getting closer and closer to what I've been waiting for her to touch. But when that time came, it wasn't her hands I felt around my manhood, it was her mouth…
"Oh, Christine….."
That feeling, that wonderful, familiar feeling was slowly coming back to me There was no greater feeling in the world than to feel a woman making love to one's body. I had not made love in over four years, and hadn't released myself more than a few times. I knew if she didn't stop soon, I would finish just as quickly as I did on the night I gave myself to her for the first time….perhaps even quicker.
"Christine….oh, Christine….please…."
"You wish for me to stop? Am I hurting you?"
Her mouth was replaced with her hand, and I groaned ever so softly.
"Yes….I mean no, mon ange….just…." I couldn't even speak the feeling was so amazing.
"Just what?" she giggled.
I didn't want to sound rude, and make her angry, so instead, I gently flipped her over, and kissed her neck.
"It's your turn, my angel."
"Erik…" she was laughing, but it soon turned into soft moans as I continued pressing my lips to her neck.
"Erik…yes, oh, angel, don't stop."
"I don't intend to."
Her chest crashed against my own, as I began touching her in places I knew she adored. Her hot breath heaved against my very own as I she groaned my name, and drove me out of my mind.
"Erik…." she grabbed my shoulders, and pulled me down closer to her. "I need you…..please, let us not wait any longer."
This was all I needed to hear…. I got into position, and slowly joined us as one, sliding into her slowly, feeling every sensation as Christine and I came together as one. But before I was all the way in, she tore off my mask and wig with one elegant move.
"I want to make love to you Erik…..To the Erik I know and love."
She placed my discarded garments on the night table, and I continued entering her…
When we were completely joined, I leaned down and kissed her as I began to move my hips. As I was, I felt her legs wrap themselves around my waist, pulling me deeper into her.
"Christine…." I couldn't stop saying her name.
I kissed her ear feverishly, as he too began moving herself with my body. It was such a beautiful duet that our bodies were making. We were singing as if we had never sang before. But was Christine satisfied with this simple duet? Of course not, she had to make our music even louder. She flipped me over on my back, and straddled me….I had never done anything like this before in all my life. In books I have read of the many ways to make love, but never expected it would be happening…..and to me.
"Christine…" I gasped for air as she rode me like one of my Phantasma horses. Oh, and it felt riveting…My hands placed themselves at her thighs, pressing her down on me as she continued to make love to me. I moved my hips up against her, causing her head to fly back, and her long curls to engulf her chest….There was never a more beautiful sight. I wanted to draw her portrait, just like this…Oh, Christine the things you do to your poor poor Erik.
"Christine….Oh, Christine."
I was close, so close, and yet…..Oh, god, I didn't want this moment to end.
"Oh, Erik, don't stop….."
And I didn't….I continued making love to her right up until I finished. It wasn't long until Christine did the same, and we plopped down beside one another, breathing heavily and lowly laughing at our clumsiness.
Christine buried her head into my chest, and continued catching her breath.
"Not that I'm complaining Erik, but…..have you been with anyone in the past four years?"
"As a matter of fact, I have." I teased.
Christine lifted her head, and gave me a look of utter disgust. My voice had been so serious, that I don't think she knew I was joking.
"What?"
I then held up my hand, as to let her know it was a joke.
"I was talking about my hand, Christine….. Come now, do you really think that would happen? Me? Another woman?"
Christine's cheeks went completely red, as she piled over me, laughing hysterically.
"Erik, that's so vile."
"What? How else was I to get a release if I didn't do it myself."
"Sorry…."
"How about you? I suspect you haven't been with anyone."
"Had I any time? Erik, you know me better than that."
I kissed her lips, and laid down beside her.
"Christine, you were absolutely amazing."
"As were you."
I pulled the covers over us, and settled up against her to sleep.
"Goodnight, Christine."
She yawned, and settled comfortably into my chest, never moving from it even as I coughed.
"Night, Erik…."
The following morning, I awoke to the sound of music being played. I rolled over, thinking I had fallen asleep on the piano, but the more and more I thought about it the more I realized where I was, and who I was with! It all came rushing back to me now! I shot up from laying beside Christine, and reached over for my pocket watch. I wasn't at my piano! I had made love to Christine, and she was laying asleep beside me. No! my piano was being played…..played by Eudora. No! I grabbed my mask and wig, placing it on ever so quickly, getting out of bed and rushing for my robe which was hanging over the wardrobe. I threw it around my shoulders, and began heading towards the main room where I kept it, praying I was wrong….But I wasn't! There was Eudora sitting at the piano, playing a song I had never heard before. No! she didn't know how….she never touched a piano before this very day….and yet, she was playing as if she had practiced for years. No! she couldn't be like me! She couldn't be playing like me! She would find out! She would know I was her father if she continued advancing everything I had advanced in. But the song was so beautiful, and she began singing, as I stood there behind her, watching her fingers glide over the keys.
"You and me together we'll be
Forever you'll see
We two can be good company
You and me
Yes together we two
Together, that's you
Forever with me
We'll always be good company
You and me
Yes, together we'll be
You and me
Together we'll be
Forever you'll see
We'll always be good company
You and me
Just wait and see.."
"You play well…."
This caused Eudora to gasp, and turn to face me.
"Uncle, sorry….I..I shouldn't have touched the piano."
"Right. You shouldn't have. This is not yours to touch, Eudora."
She stepped away from it, and I took a seat on the bench.
"I'm sorry, uncle, it's just that…..well, I only meant to press one of the keys while passing by. Only when I did….I was drawn to it."
"Yes, like a moth to the flame."
"Right. How did you know?"
"Because….Because I felt the same way."
I patted the seat beside me, and Eudora accepted. I began playing a tune, as Eudora watched my hands glide across the keys. When I finished, she placed her hands on the exact ones I had just touched and began playing the tune just as I had played it….perhaps even better. No! she couldn't do this! She was just like me. I could mimic any song just by hearing it, and now she was doing the same.
"Eudora, enough." I pulled her hands away from the keys.
"What's wrong uncle? Aren't you happy that I can play the same tune?"
"No, you shouldn't do that…."
"Do what?"
"Mimic one's songs….it's rude."
"I was only interested to see if I could play the song too."
"And you did….it's nothing special." I growled.
"Yes it is…."
She began playing a tune of her own, only to have my anger go through the roof and tear her hands away and begin playing what she had played.
"You can do it to!" she gasped, watching my hands play her song.
I stopped playing and turned to her.
"Yes, see! It's not special, Eudora, anyone can do it."
"That's not true. Then why can't mother do it?"
This stopped my heart…..So she had touched a piano before….Oh no…..I had said too much. I was under the assumption that this was her first time. Damn me! Dear god! What now!
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
"Sometimes mother lets me play the piano in your opera house when she's closing the wardrobe department. I've tried it, uncle…..I play a song, and ask mother to play it right after me, by memory, and she can't…I thought it was something strange, but….you can do it too…."
"Eudora, that's enough. It's very simple to be able to do…"
"No it's not! How is it that you can do it, but mother can't? How is it that I draw just as well as you can, and yet, mother can't even draw a flower as beautiful as you or I can?"
"Eudora! Enough! Some people are born with similar traits, and that is all."
"I know, but…..ours are more similar than others. Our case is different."
"Because I am your uncle."
"But not by blood…..We're not related at all. Which is why you and mother are in love."
My daughter sat there in tears, confused and heartbroken. Christ! She was only a child! My child and here I was trying to keep a lie going. She was so confused about why we were so alike, and it ate me inside to know I couldn't tell her the truth.
"Eudora, does this shame you?"
"No, I'm happy mother is being able to love you, but…Uncle, was it like this before I was born?"
"I've loved your mother my whole adult life, little one. Now, enough with this, go get dressed, and we'll have breakfast."
When my daughter went to her room, I sat there, thinking about what to do next? My daughter was no dummy, and I knew sooner or later she would figure out the bond we both shared. Oh, why did my daughter have to be so much like me!
Ok everyone, please review! Love you all!