Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. None of this belongs to me, though I did have a lot of fun filling in the blanks. This is the moment we've all been waiting for when Bella and Edward are reunited. Enjoy. (I hope)
Songs for this chapter;
Sing for Absolution, by Muse
Mozart's Requiem
Bring Me to Life by Evanescence
No Ordinary Love, by Sade
Chapter 12-Discovery
I stood in the shadows of the cobbled streets behind a stone archway near a small grouping of shops, preparing myself to act. The city had been deserted when I'd left the Volturi just over an hour ago, but the streets were gradually filling up.
The humans that had ventured out early were already focused on the St. Marcus Day activities they wanted to participate in. They admired the large red flags that billowed noisily in the wind above them as they thought about street vendors they wanted to visit during the day and their costumes for the parties they were planning to attend after dark. Some were going dressed as cape-clad, fanged vampires while others were opting for priestly robes and crosses.
I snorted bitterly to myself at I listened to the thoughts of all these ignorant humans planning to attend celebrations either dressed as caricatures of monsters they didn't believe in or as holy men that couldn't hope to fight off the real thing.
But, there was no reason for the human residents and visitors to Volterra to fear for their safety. There hadn't been a vampire attack here in centuries.
I was going to change that now.
I knew Demetri and Felix were close by, watching me carefully from an alley behind a bakery on the other side of the street. I also knew they had reinforcements ready to deal with me or any other problem that might arise as a result of my actions. They were all safe from the sun's rays under their cloaks, biding their time until I made my move.
Aro had asked them to bring me back to him alive if at all possible. He knew how desperate I was to die, and I hated him for being so determined to prolong my life for his own selfish reasons. He was hoping to be able to explain away whatever crime I chose to commit to expose them so his henchmen could bring me back to the castle. He wanted to buy some time in the hope that Alice would see me alive and come looking for me. He wanted to get the two of us together and try to persuade us to join the guard. He would "forgive" my transgression and spare our lives in exchange for servitude. So, I had to do something drastic to keep them from taking me back alive.
Hunting was the last thing I wanted to do, but it seemed like the only choice I had. If I killed someone right in the middle of a crowded street, they would be forced to act. If word got around that I had blatantly flouted the rules in their city and escaped with my life, it would set a bad precedent.
For nearly an hour, I watched people come and go as the crowds thickened, searching for a suitable victim. I'd tried to find someone who had no family, or a terminal illness or some personality trait that would make it easier for me to tolerate ending their life. So far, I had only found reasons to let each of them go, but I had to act soon.
My throat felt like a desert in July as a paunchy, balding middle aged man walked within a few feet of my hiding place; no one else had gotten this close to me since I'd been here. I was really thirsty, and he had an oddly appealing spicy scent that made my venom flow freely. I crept silently behind him, tuning out his thoughts and being careful to stay out of the rays of the morning sun. I moved in closer…
"Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," Bella asked me on the way home from Port Angeles.
"I don't want to be a monster," I replied.
I gasped in pain at the sudden sound of her voice in my head, and for the millionth time I pictured the way she'd looked at me that night, her beautiful brown eyes full of love and trust. The man kept moving, but I didn't follow. I stood in the shadows, deliberating for a moment.
I couldn't do this. I couldn't allow my final act to be murder. I was desperate to die, but I didn't want to take anyone else with me. I needed to leave this pointless earth that shouldn't still be turning on its axis now that Bella was gone, but I was going to have to find another way to force the Volturi to kill me.
Bella was gone, but the changes I'd experienced because of her love remained. It would be a disgrace to her memory for me to go back to being the killer I once was. She'd had more faith in me than that.
"I don't believe that you're bad," She'd said to me the first time we'd sat together at lunch.
I moaned in agony and buried my face in my hands as I remembered her misplaced trust. She was wrong, of course; I was bad; I was a wretched creature who had destroyed her life with my twisted love. I had let her down a million times, but I didn't have to make it a million and one.
Another voice, my father's, echoed in my head; "Every life is precious." He'd said it so often, and he was right. I didn't want to disappoint him either.
There had to be an alternative to taking more innocent lives.
I saw a blue Fiat parked near a small store across the cobbled street. I could race over and throw it through the large front display window in front of passersby. That would attract some much needed attention, but it would be impossible to do without hitting some people in the process. That plan was just as fatal as the hunting scheme.
The sun rose a little higher into the sky and I shifted automatically to avoid the light.
And the answer came to me. It was so simple I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before.
"I can't go out in the sun, at least not where anyone can see," I'd said to Bella to explain my absence from school on sunny days.
Not where anyone could see.
Today was St. Marcus Day; the streets were already starting to fill up and it was still early in the morning. By midday, hundreds of humans would be walking through the streets of Volterra; too many witnesses to count.
Too many for the Volturi to ignore or eradicate entirely.
I remembered the day in the meadow when I'd shown Bella what I looked like in the sun. I recalled the surprise and wonder in her eyes and the way she'd never once shied away from me. I thought of the feel of her hand caressing my sparkling arm in the light, and how much warmer she made me feel than the sun did. She'd told me later that she would never forget the sight of me in the light. A wave of unendurable grief washed over me again as I thought of how accepting and kind she was.
The booming hourly toll of the clock in the square solidified my plans. I would step out of the shadows I'd been hiding in for the last eight decades. I would walk into the high noon sunlight and expose myself for the hideous abomination I was. It was time to confess the sins of my existence to the world; no one else would have to die because of me.
And, there would be too many witnesses for Felix and Demetri to take the time to bring me back to Aro. They would have to act immediately and destroy me. I could end my misery without taking more lives or endangering Alice.
An odd, peaceful finality settled into my hollow chest. My plan was going to work; I was sure of it.
Felix and Demetri kept me within their sights as I made my way to an alley near the clock tower that was the main feature of the city. I hid in the shadows, waiting for the time to pass; for the final moment to arrive at high noon.
I spent my last hours with Bella in my mind; reliving the happy moments we'd shared together. I pictured her smile, heard her laugh and remembered the blissful feel of her small, warm body cradled in my arms.
I also wondered what my death would be like. Would I feel the fire as it burned me to ash, or would I be numb after Felix and Demetri ripped me apart? Would I go to some sort of vampire hell, or simply cease to be?
I shivered involuntarily at the thought of an eternity without Bella. The anguish tore through me and I felt as though I were breaking to pieces again. I moaned in anguish and sank to my knees in the shade of the alley where I was hiding now.
How I wished there were some way for us to be reunited in the afterlife. But, there was no hope of that, was there? Bella was surely in heaven; there was no other option. She was so beautiful; she was kind and loving and compassionate. Heaven was a better place now with her in it.
I, on the other hand, am the embodiment of evil; a murderer who indirectly took her life and intentionally spilled the blood of countless others to sustain my unnatural existence. So, it stood to reason that I was either bound for hell or nowhere at all. In my opinion, the answer was probably nowhere because I believed that my soul had been destroyed nearly a century ago during my transformation. But, even if I did still have my soul, there could be nothing good left for me in the beyond.
Suddenly, I had a flash of a dim human memory; a memory of attending church with my mother when I was a very small boy. The image was weak and almost 2 dimensional, but her words were clear.
I could see her sitting in a church pew beside me, her head bowed as she prayed some prayer I couldn't remember the name of aloud with the minister. I was too young to join in, but I remember feeling curious about the meaning of the words she recited, so I'd questioned her in a whisper during a break in the service.
"What does that prayer mean, mother?" I'd asked.
"It means that God forgives anyone who asks Him to, no matter what kind of sin they've committed." She replied softly.
"If I believed that by changing you I was sacrificing your soul I never would have done it," Carlisle said the last time I'd seen him.
If they were both right, if forgiveness was possible and I still had a soul, then maybe there was hope somewhere. I didn't really believe it, but maybe I should try to ask just in case.
I sank to my knees on the ground and silently confessed to all the wrongs I'd done in the last century; the murders I'd committed, the lies I'd told, everything I could remember. I didn't know if anyone heard me, or if it had helped at all, but it couldn't hurt; and if there was some small chance that I could be reunited with Bella...
The sun was shining bright and warm overhead now, and the time was almost up. I opened my eyes briefly, got to my feet, and approached the end of the alley. I closed my eyes again, trying to imagine how wonderful it would be if Bella and I did see each other in heaven.
Abruptly, the words she'd said to me on Charlie's couch while we watched Romeo and Juliet echoed in my head again, interrupting my musings about a perfect afterlife.
"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again; no matter what might ever happen to me you are not allowed to hurt yourself!"
You promised me you would look after yourself, love, I thought, arguing silently with my memory of her. I told you I couldn't live in a world where you didn't exist. I told you what I would do if you were gone; I may have lied about a lot of things in my life, but I meant that.
"Don't do this," I heard her say in my mind.
"I haven't got a choice, love; I can't go on without you," I whispered, so softly that no one, not even another vampire, would be able to hear.
No! Her voice yelled in my head, replying to my murmured argument.
The booming sound of the clock's chimes vibrated my stone body; I removed my shirt and let the fabric fall into a disheveled pile near my feet. I kept my eyes closed as I walked toward the light, palms facing forward, picturing her face in my mind. The image of her was smiling silently, and, oddly enough, I could have sworn I smelled a whisper of her sweet warm scent.
"Edward!"I heard her scream in a breathy, desperate voice. She was angry with me for my choice. I could hear the clock toll again, and the sound of her voice seemed to be lost for a moment.
"Edward!" I heard her scream again. "No, Edward!"
I paused to listen to the sound of her voice. Hearing her speak in my mind one last time made me feel an odd sense of peace in spite of the fury and panting desperation in her voice. It was almost as if she was here with me. I took a step toward the light.
"No!" I heard her cry in that same winded tone of panic again. "Edward, look at me!"
I kept my eyes closed; I was looking at her in my mind's eye, and she was still smiling at me in odd contrast with the breathy screams. The image of her face would be the last thing I ever saw, and I was content. I smiled slightly as I started to take that one last step that would bring me into the light at last, when something soft and warm collided with my stone body; instinctively, I caught the object in my arms, feeling something silky brush against my hands, and a warm familiar floral scent burned my throat. I opened my eyes slowly…
I looked down into the face of my love, astonished. Bella was with me.
"Amazing," I breathed in shocked ecstasy, "Carlisle was right!"
I'd confessed my sins and here I was, in heaven with my love. I'd been redeemed after all.
"Edward," she gasped, out of breath. "You have to get back into the shadows…you have to move."
I looked at her in polite confusion. There was no need for us to hide anymore; we were dead.
"I can't believe how quick it was," I marveled, staring down at her lovely face as I stroked her soft, warm cheek. "I didn't feel a thing: they're very good." I closed my eyes and kissed her hair.
"Death that hath sucked the honey of thy breath hath had no power yet upon thy beauty." I whispered, quoting Romeo and Juliet. I was awed at how real she looked and felt in my arms; how alive she seemed to be.
"You smell just exactly the same as always, so maybe this is hell. I don't care; I'll take it." I went on, my voice giddy and elated.
"I'm not dead," she exclaimed "And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move, they can't be far away!" She squirmed in my arms and I held her tighter.
I was confused by her statement. What could possibly be chasing us in the afterlife? What did she mean we weren't dead?
"What was that?" I asked, frowning slightly as I waited for her to explain.
Were we in some kind of purgatory? Had I messed up heaven for her too?
"We're not dead," she answered urgently "Not yet, but we have to get out of here before the Volturi…"
I heard their thoughts a half second after the words left her lips. Horror washed over me like ice water as I jumped to my feet whirled around, pulling Bella behind me protectively, placing her between me and the brick wall. I was conscious of her heart pounding frantically in her chest; she was alive! I felt a sense of indescribable relief at this revelation.
I knew we were in a terrible mess, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of healing completion from being reunited with her. My insides were suddenly intact again, and I took a deep cleansing breath, relishing in the oxygen. I hadn't been able to breathe properly in months. I didn't need to, of course, but the sensation was so wonderful; I felt alive, almost human again. However, the feeling didn't last long as I listened to the mental voices of the approaching vampires.
We've got him cornered now; Aro will be pleased that he didn't carry out his plans. But, what stopped him? Demetri thought curiously. He tasted the air around us. There's a human right behind him so we'll have to be careful. He continued mentally.
Someone smells tasty, came Felix's mental voice. Maybe the kid decided to hunt after all. MMM! What a fragrance. Wonder if he'd share if I told him I'd kill him fast myself after we eat. He's got her behind him like he's guarding her. No one watches their food like...
Felix paused, registering the way that Bella clung to me, her trembling hands resting on my cold, bare back.
This is the girl! I thought she was dead! How did she get here? No matter; Maybe Aro will let me have her as an appetizer if his sister shows up like he thinks she will. He marveled silently.
"Greetings gentleman," I said in a falsely polite voice as Bella stiffened behind me. She was looking under my arm at the two grey cloaked vampires that were close enough for her eyes to see now.
"I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters. "
"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" Felix purred smoothly. It wouldn't do for me to get my cloak dirty trying to deal with you here. He thought.
"I don't believe that will be necessary," I replied, my voice less controlled as I bit back the growl I could feel building in my chest. "I know your instructions, Felix; I haven't broken any rules."
I had to remain calm for Bella. There was no way I could run with her, and if I lost my temper now there would be no chance at all for me to save her from this disastrous mess I'd gotten us into.
Bella was alive! How? Had Alice made it in time to save her, or was the vision she'd had inaccurate? That didn't seem likely. Why didn't she go straight back home when she realized Bella was okay? And, where was she now? She had to be here somewhere; she'd obviously brought Bella here to stop me. All of these questions raced through my mind in a matter of seconds.
"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun," Demetri replied untruthfully, his voice dripping with phony diplomacy. "Let us seek better cover."
I knew he was worried about making a scene and he had no intention of letting me go. But Alice was nearby, so I had to try to convince them to let Bella leave. If they let her go, Alice would be able to get her out of here. They'd both be safe.
"I'll be right behind you," I replied, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice as I realized I had probably doomed us to die with my hasty stupidity. I tried to stay casual as I added, "Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?"
I felt her tense behind me as her hands shifted further down my back; if I had been wearing a shirt she would have fisted the fabric in an effort to cling to me. I knew that even if they did give her the option of leaving, she wasn't going to walk away from me. Damn it! Why did she have to be so stubborn!
Aro would want us to bring her back, too. This foolish boy was willing to die for her, so she's valuable to us for now. Demetri thought.
Not a chance... Felix thought. She's bait until Aro gets what he wants, and then she's lunch.
"No, bring the girl," Felix said in a menacing purr. Perhaps Aro will let me play with her before I eat her; she's pretty for a human. He thought, and the fantasies in his head made me want to lunge at him and tear him apart.
I bit back another growl. "I don't think so." I replied in a hard, cold voice now. I shifted my weight slightly. I would fight them and die here before I let Felix touch a hair on her precious head. Hopefully Alice would see what was happening and get Bella out.
"No," Bella whispered behind me. She felt the subtle change in my posture and knew what it meant. I didn't need to be able to read her thoughts to know that she didn't want me to compromise my safety for her. She was just as selfless as always, and I didn't deserve her sacrifice.
"Shh," I murmured softly. It was all I could say. I wanted to turn around and look into her beautiful face, wrap my arms around her and tell her how sorry I was and how much I loved her before my imminent death. I couldn't think about her dying too. I would save her if I could no matter what I had to do.
"Felix," Demetri said in a cautiously warning voice. "Not here." We can't afford to be indiscreet ourselves, no matter what the boy's plans are. He added mentally.
Demetri turned to talk to me then. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again if you have decided not to force our hand after all."Now that we know the girl is alive, it stands to reason that the psychic sister is here somewhere. Aro was insistent that he wanted her at all costs; and he wants the boy alive too if we can manage it; I have to keep him calm. He mused silently.
"Certainly," I acquiesced, cringing mentally at the thought of Aro reading Alice's thoughts and getting a better understanding of her amazing talent. "But the girl goes free."
"I'm afraid that's not possible," Demetri replied in that same falsely polite tone. She is too valuable to you for us to let her go until Aro has what he wants; plus, she knows too much about us to be allowed to escape. He thought, knowing I could hear what was in his head. "We do have rules to obey."
"Then I'm afraid I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri," I replied through gritted teeth. I tried to keep my voice calm, but I heard the tremor of anger in my tone.
"That's just fine," Felix said eagerly before Demetri could respond to me. I'm really going to enjoy killing him; maybe I could finish the girl first beforehand and let him watch. Felix thought. He took a step closer to us, and I heard Bella gasp in fear at his approach.
My poor Bella! She was terrified. But she wasn't my Bella anymore, I corrected myself mentally. If we survived this, she might not ever want to see me again. My heart ached at the thought of being separated from her again.
"Aro will be disappointed," Demetri replied before Felix could say anything else.
On the surface, he seemed to be making an effort to diffuse the tension, and he was clearly trying not to draw attention to us because there was a human family nearby. But he altered his position to my other side and I knew they were going to corner me.
I shifted slightly again, preparing to defend Bella at all costs. I caught a faint sweet musky scent and knew that Alice was close, but Felix and Demetri were too focused on me to have noticed yet. If I could distract the two guards for a few seconds, she might be able to grab Bella.
Wait Edward! Alice shouted in my head. Don't fight them! I'll be right there. We can't escape with her; they're everywhere. We'll have to cooperate. If you stay calm, there might be a chance they'll let us live, but I know if you try to fight them they'll kill us all!
I saw a horrifying image in her head of Demetri in a dark, indistinct place outside the city standing over a pyre of ashes while Felix drained Bella.
A second later, Felix, Demetri and I simultaneously turned our heads toward the sound of approaching footsteps on the other side of the alley. Bella noticed the diversion a moment later and responded by looking too.
"Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" Alice said lightly as she came into view beside me. "There are ladies present."
I felt Bella relax slightly behind me as she took in Alice's appearance. She obviously felt safer with Alice here. Alice had never let her down the way I had.
Felix and Demetri moved out of their defensive positions and retreated a little.
Damn it! Felix thought, shooting a disgruntled look at Alice. Aro wouldn't let me live if I take care of them now and I really want the girl. She smells so good.
I gritted my teeth again, and I knew I was on the verge of losing it, which was what Felix wanted. He was trying to provoke me with his thoughts and I couldn't afford to take the bait. There was a human family standing nearby and if I reacted in front of them, Alice's vision would come true.
Stay calm and let me handle this! Alice said silently. I nodded imperceptibly. I had a million questions for her, but they would have to wait.
"We are not alone," Alice reminded Felix and Demetri, gesturing toward the family standing on the corner of the square.
"Paulo, maybe you should go and get a policeman. Something is terribly wrong here," the human woman whispered urgently to her husband in Italian. He nodded and walked toward the plaza to get assistance, tapping a policeman dressed in a traditional red blazer on the shoulder to get his attention.
Demetri shook his head at me in exasperation. "Please Edward, let's be reasonable," He implored, really hoping to avoid a scene now that our exchange had garnered the attention of humans.
This is getting ridiculous; Aro will be really upset if we have to kill them. He wants this Alice to join the guard. He thought irritably.
"Let's," I replied coolly, hoping to take advantage of Demetri's fear of causing a scene. "We'll leave quietly now with no one the wiser."
Demetri sighed again, growing more irritated by the second. "At least let us discuss this more privately," He said in what he hoped was a persuasive voice as six police officers joined the family staring at us with growing unease. I have to get them back to the castle. He thought.
Bella flinched behind me again, her heart racing even faster. I felt her soft hair brush lightly against my back as she turned her head in the direction of the human witnesses. My teeth clenched together in reaction to her fear.
"No," I answered, glancing pointedly at the family again. An instant later, Felix's expression turned smug and I understood before I even heard her speak from behind me.
It was all over now.
"Enough," Jane said in her juvenile soprano voice.
Give me a reason, Edward! I'm begging you. She jeered silently.
Edward! Don't provoke her. Just do whatever she asks. Alice shouted in my head; she knew who Jane was from Carlisle's stories about the guard. But I didn't need her warning; I'd seen how much Jane wanted to torture us; she hated Aro's interest in us and she was particularly jealous of Alice.
"Jane," I said in a tone of dull resignation. Alice folded her arms across her chest in a defensive pose, but her face remained neutral.
"Follow me," she said, turning silently toward the darkened alley away from the mortal spectators. Felix smirked again and motioned for us to go ahead of him and Demetri.
Alice obeyed immediately and I followed suit, wrapping my arms around Bella's waist and pulling her along side of me. I noticed then for the first time how thin she was. She'd lost too much weight, and I could feel the prominence of her fragile ribs beneath my arms.
"Well, Alice," I said in a light manner that contradicted my internal turmoil. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."
"It was my mistake," she replied simply. "It was my job to set it right." I'm so sorry Edward! I had no idea that Rose would be stupid enough to call you. I would have called you myself if I had known what she was planning. I'd intended to explain everything to Carlisle once he returned from the hunting trip he was on with Esme so we could decide what to do. She added silently, pleading with me to understand.
What did she mean by decide what to do? What the hell was going on?
"What happened?" I asked in the same nonchalant tone, carefully concealing my curiosity from Felix, Demetri and Jane.
"It's a long story," Alice replied vaguely, her eyes darting toward Bella for a second. "In summary, she did jump off a cliff but she wasn't trying to kill herself."
Or so she says, but I don't believe her, Alice added mentally.
"Bella's all about the extreme sports these days." I saw Bella's blush as she turned away in embarrassment. Alice told me the rest of the story in her mind.
I saw her jump off the cliff and go into the water, but I didn't see her come back out and I thought she'd drowned. I knew I was seeing it while it was happening, and I would be too late to save her. I was devastated and I wondered why it took me so long to see her do something so drastic. I went straight to Charlie's to take care of him. I was waiting for Charlie at his house when she showed up, all messed up but alive. I was shocked and confused. She explained to me that her friend Jacob Black pulled her out of the water just before she could drown. I couldn't understand why I didn't see him save her. But then she explained that he's a werewolf! There's a whole pack of them in La Push now, and Bella's been spending a lot of time on the reservation. I think the reason I was blind was because she'd been with the wolves so much; apparently I can't see them. But, that's not the worst of it, Edward. Brace yourself…
The main reason she's been in La Push is because Victoria came after her and the wolves were guarding her. And before that, Laurent tried to kill her and the wolves disposed of him. We knew he was missing of course because we'd been in Denali, but I had no idea he'd come to Forks. She told me the whole story and I was horrified. I'm so sorry I didn't check on her sooner! I knew you didn't want me to interfere, but she was such a mess, Edward. I couldn't leave her with no one but a pack of young werewolves to look after her. Charlie told me about her having nightmares every night since we left. I decided I was going stay with her at Charlie's until I could talk to Carlisle to see if he thought we should all come back when I had the vision of you coming here. Charlie was at his friend's funeral when you called, and the Black kid answered the phone. I know you wish I hadn't brought her here, but I knew she was the only thing that would stop you from acting and she insisted on coming when she knew what I'd seen.
"Hmm," I replied shortly. It was all I could say in front of Felix, Jane and Demetri as I tried to absorb her story. I wanted to smash up every building in sight with the strength of my fury. How had I allowed this? I was filled with unadulterated self-disgust.
I remained lost in my thoughts, holding tightly to Bella as I continued to follow Jane down the sloping cobblestone streets toward the Volturi's hidden lair. I hated myself more than I would have ever thought possible. I left Bella alone, broken hearted and unprotected for Laurent to find, and my inept tracking skills had driven Victoria straight to Forks. Then to top it off the only thing that had kept Bella alive were a bunch of nasty mutts that were just as dangerous as Victoria and much more unstable.
Werewolves!
I'd seen what they were capable of when a member of Ephraim Black's pack had attacked and killed his wife and young daughter when he lost control and changed in front of them. I hadn't witnessed the event personally, but I'd seen it in Josiah Clearwater's head when we'd met with them to finalize the treaty. The images still haunted me. I heard he'd stopped phasing and died of a broken heart shortly thereafter, leaving his son to be raised by Ephraim and his wife.
I shuddered internally at the thought of Bella being close to one of them when he changed that way. If we lived through this, I would stay in Forks to look after her until the danger passed whether she wanted me back or not. Right now, I needed to focus on getting us out of here alive.
Jane disappeared down the open drain hole at the dead end mouth of the alley before we were close enough for Bella to see her vanish. I could hear the impatient thoughts of Felix and Demetri behind me, but I had no intention of making Bella go any faster. I could have easily carried her, and I would have loved to hold her close to me, to comfort her, but I knew the intimacy of such a gesture would antagonize the situation with Felix. He was already plotting ways to provoke me further, and if I held her, my feelings would be even more transparent and he would up the ante.
Plus the longer we took to get to Aro, the more time Alice and I would have to think about what we might say to talk us out of this horrid mess I'd made.
When we reached the drain hole ourselves, I wondered how best to get Bella down safely.
I'll go first and you can pass her to me; you'll need to stay up there to keep an eye on Demetri and Felix. Alice thought.
I nodded imperceptibly and she disappeared at once. It took a second for Bella to notice her absence and when she realized where we were going, she cringed and held tightly to me.
"It's alright Bella," I soothed, speaking to her for the first time since she'd warned me of the Volturi's approach. "Alice will catch you."
She looked up at me for a second, and I registered the unnatural pallor of her too-thin face and the severe dark circles under her tired and scared brown eyes. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest at the physical evidence of her suffering. Her frail state was my fault.
She glanced worriedly down into the hole and shuddered before she stooped and dangled her legs down into the hole. "Alice?" she called fearfully down into the darkness. I winced. She clearly didn't trust my reassurances. Of course she didn't. I had given her no reason to trust me at all. I'd hurt her so much.
"I'm right here, Bella," Alice replied gently. She'll be fine, Edward. I'll catch her. Alice said silently to me. She knew how hard it would be for me to let Bella out of my sight even for a second now. We had so little time left, and being away from her even for a moment was an agonizing prospect. I bent over her and wrapped my hands gently around her wrists, feeling her speeding pulse on my fingertips as I lowered her into the dark damp hole. She was trembling visibly, and I felt another surge of self-loathing for getting her into this mess.
"Ready?" I called down to Alice, my voice echoing down into the blackness.
"Drop her," Alice replied. I saw Bella close her eyes and purse her lips as I let her go. My heart ached as I released her. I felt an intense wave of anxiety wash over me at the physical separation, even though I knew it would only last a few seconds.
I followed her an instant later and I wrapped my arms around her as soon as I got to the bottom. I held her close as I pulled her forward at human speed. She stumbled over the rough, wet stone floors, unable to see clearly in the dark musty corridor. I heard Felix replace the cover of the grate and he and Demetri followed us impatiently down the sloping corridor that led us further underground.
I wish they would hurry up. I'm ready to get this over with. Why the hell doesn't he just carry her? I guess he's in no hurry to get to Aro because he knows Caius is probably going to kill the girl at the very least. Felix thought with an impatient sigh. The way he holds on to her is disgusting. She's food, and he's thirsty. If he loves her so damn much, why not change her?
I ignored Felix's provocation and held Bella close to me as I guided her through the darkness. She clung to me, but I couldn't be sure if she did this simply because she was afraid or if she still wanted me. I touched her as much as I could to try to convey my feelings.
I cupped her face in my hands, rubbing my thumb across her soft, warm lips, and breathed in her scent as I pressed my face into her hair. I had no desire for her blood at all now, even in my state of desperate thirstiness. The painful burn paled dramatically in comparison to the pleasure I felt from the knowledge that she was alive and we were together for the moment.
Listen to her heart race! I'm glad we brought them through this entrance. I wondered why Jane wanted to take the long way in, but I see why now. It must be pure torture for that stupid little human. She can't see a thing. Demetri thought with grim satisfaction at Jane's choice of a route.
Hatred rose like human bile in my throat.
Stay calm, Edward! Alice implored silently. Your volatile mood is making it hard for me to see.
Alice was right, I needed to control myself. I suppressed a growl and seethed in silence. I had to protect Bella. I held her shaking form tighter to soothe both of us and kissed her forehead. She responded by pressing herself closer to me and I felt grateful that she would at least know I loved her no matter what happened to us now.
But, this didn't assuage my guilt. It was my fault we were in this potentially fatal mess. I focused on Alice's thoughts in front of me, hoping she'd seen something that might help us.
Everything is still too uncertain for me to see anything clearly! Alice thought frantically. Nothing will be decided until we talk to Aro. There's a chance we might be able to get out of here. I can see us spending some time in discussion with him. But the room I see us in bothers me for some reason.
I felt a stab of horror as she envisioned us being led into a large castle turret room with stone floors and a large drain in the center. I'd passed the entrance to it on my way to the large gilded door that led to Aro's living quarters. This was the room where the Volturi and elite members of their guard congregated to pass judgment on wrongdoers and to eat when humans were brought in for mealtimes. If this was where we were going, there was very little hope of us leaving here alive.
I felt Bella's shaking intensify, and at first I thought it was in response to the increase in the tension she probably felt emanating from me, but when her teeth began to chatter, I realized she was freezing cold. The lower legs of her jeans and her shoes were wet, and the temperature of the corridor was around 58 degrees. My frigid body was undoubtedly making her colder, so I let go of her, only keeping her hand.
"N-N-No," she protested as I let her go. She threw her arms back around me. She was so cold and I was terribly worried about the impact this would have on her already frail condition. I didn't push her away; she was truly terrified and I had to keep her calm. I rubbed my cold hand up and down her arm, hoping the friction would warm her a little.
Hurry up! Felix thought with another impatient sigh. He was eager for us to reach our destination, and this only increased my anxiety. We were close now.
I followed Alice and Jane through the small door made of metal bars and into another stone walled room that reflected enough light to make it easier for Bella to see. I heard Demetri shut the iron door behind us with a resounding clang. Bella tensed beside me at the sound. I pressed my face into her hair again in an attempt to comfort her. But my own turmoil intensified exponentially as we proceeded through a heavy wooden door and into the well-lit carpeted hallway that led to the very room Alice had envisioned.
We had already been condemned to die.