All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just writing the plot.

November 15, 2008

I'm having that dream again. Ever since I met Edward last month I can't seem to get that flash out of my mind.

I'm outside under the stars in a meadow, The man I'm with takes my hand and kneels down at my feet holding out a blue satin box with a princess cut diamond ring inside.

My stomach clenches and I start to cry happily as he whispers, "Marry me my Bella, I promise to love you with every breath I take. Please,"

That's when I wake up every time.

I'm standing there and I can't see his face, or much of him other than to tell he has long fingers and strong looking hands. His clothes are casual and dark, but his face and features are obscured because he is in front of headlights from a nearby car.

I never get to say yes, but I can tell from the butterflies landing in my stomach when I wake up that I was going to.

I haven't had a flash again, I almost wonder if it wasn't because of Edward. Then again if it was, he wouldn't have left me without a way to get in touch. I really thought that he could feel the pull between us too, I guess now I'll never know

-B

December 20, 2008

This is the worst day of my life. I'm trying really hard here to not break down, Dad doesn't need that right now. I really thought that my mom leaving us 6 years ago was the worst thing ever, but right now knowing that she's going to die and there is nothing that I can do about it trumps everything.

I was still so mad at her, but now I can't be. I know Dad still loves her, he misses her, and now it doesn't matter because she has cancer. Stage IV melanoma that has metastasized to her brain, liver and lungs and stomach. She tried radical treatment before she even told us.

I don't know if I should be grateful or angry for that. I'm leaving today, we're flying to Pheonix, AZ where she's been living the past 5 years with her boyfriend Phil. I don't know how Dad is going to handle this but they are saying she only has a few days at the most, her body is shutting down and her last wish is to see me again.

Sometimes we realize too late what we've lost.

After Dad told me I called Alice, she's asleep in my bed. She insisted on coming over to help me pack and let me cry on her shoulder, but sleep wouldn't come to me without getting this out first. I know I've been motherless for awhile, but she was always a phone call away.

-B

January 11, 2009

So these dreams are driving me crazy.

It always starts the same. Same place, same headlights, same boy. But instead of getting down on one knee he holds me. I get this feeling in his arms that I've never had before. But before long the ground opens up and swallows him, stealing him from my arms. I always wake up crying out "No!"

-B

February 5, 2009

Today is mom's birthday, She would have been 40 today. Her first birthday after she moved out she sent me tickets to meet her in LA. We visited a movie set and drove past the mansions on her homes of the stars map. We had more fun than ever and I left feeling like we could make this work.

I've been so confused since we got home.

Alice is acting funny, she knows I'm having a hard time but she's not sure how to get me out of my funk and it's driving me crazy.

I started hanging out with Jacob again. He's Charlie's best friend Billy's son.

He lost his mom in a car accident a year after mom left us.

He gets what I'm going through and I don't have to hide my feelings from him.

When I'm angry he lets me cut loose and yell and scream and punch his hard chest if I need to.

When I just want to talk he lets me reminisce and remember all the good times and the bad.

When I'm sad he holds me and just lets me cry it out on his shoulder.

At this point I don't know what I'd do without him,

He asked me to the prom, I really don't want to go. I don't want him to start getting feelings for me when I'm not sure if I can feel the same.

I just owe him so much.

I know he's not the boy in my dreams, but what if he doesn't exist?

-B

May 2009

The air was wound tight tonight. Bella sat on a chair in Alice's bathroom waiting patiently as her best friend got her ready for the night. Dressed in a dark blue strapless gown Bella was getting ready for the prom.

"Why did I tell Jacob that I would go to this again?"

"Come on Bella, you look great, I've seen to it, and it's not like you really have to dance anyway. Just stand there and look pretty, after all you're making Jacob's day letting him take you."

"I know, and he's been so wonderful these past few months, I guess I'm just scared."

"What are you afraid of Bella? You have a hot sexy man who adores you and would follow you to the end of the earth. I'm the one stuck having to dance with Eric all night."

Alice's face crumpled and she smiled at Bella.

"You're right Alice, Jacob really is great. I'm still glad we're going in a group and it makes this easier."

"Pssh, whatever. Did you bring your clutch or do you need to borrow one of mine?"

"Actually I brought one, it was mom's before, well you know,…"

"I know, I can't imagine what you are going through, but if you mess up your mascara crying about this I will not be happy! Understand?"

"Yes evil pixie, I promise not to smudge."

Bella smiled sadly at her friend and when the doorbell rang moments later she put on a fake smile and met Jacob down the stairs.

XXXXXX

Edward sat down on the piano bench for the third time this week. He was trying to shake off the feeling that he woke up with this morning.

He woke up from the same dream that had plagued him since last October.

Standing in a field of flowers at dusk, there's a flash of brown hair and a soft body pressed against him. He lifts the girl and twirls her around her hair flapping into his face and then she kisses him.

Every night he tries to open his eyes and see who he's with. But every night he opens his eyes to the night around him and realizes again that it was just a dream.

It really worried him a few months ago when he noticed that his dream girl is crying in his arms. He's so happy but she's so sad and he always wakes up feeling like his heart is breaking.

Luckily he had his music. He relaxes by writing melodies full of longing and intention inspired for his dream girl.

Still here he sits warming up his nimble fingers as he prepares to play another long night's worth of love songs at the dinner club where he works. Each minute that passes fills him with a strong longing he hadn't felt since the week following the football game in Forks.

He never would understand why Bella never called, maybe he misunderstood the jolt that passed between them, or maybe she changed her mind.

He sighed deeply and settled in for the night.

It was prom season in the club, and while his tips had gone down he couldn't complain about the scenery. He had gotten more phone numbers put into his tip jar than he could count. It was too bad that none of them held his interest.

Every time a brunette would walk by or come into the club he would look at her, trying to see if she was the girl in his dreams. So far she had yet to arrive.

But something tonight felt different, the air seemed to crackle and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

After playing his eighth Sinatra song of the night he looks up into the packed dinner club. A flash of brown hair floats across the room and his stomach tightens.

Still unsure what is going on he takes a drink from his water bottle and tries to get a better view of the beauty near the window.

Standing up next to her a dark skinned man with a bright smile holds out her shawl and as she stands up he tenderly wraps it around her shoulders. Finally able to see her face Edward lets out a short gasp and knows suddenly why Bella never called.

Whoever the man next to her was, he was important to her. She smiled back at him softly and tenderly and Edward decided to do the only thing he could.

He began softly playing the tune that had borne itself in his heart and as he poured his soul into his song the entire room took pause.

XXXXX

Bella laughed lightly at Jacob, his gentle nature had truly warmed her tonight, and she was determined to make this night as wonderful for him as she could. In her own way she loved Jacob. He was her closest friend.

As they stood to leave the dinner club he tenderly wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and held her for a moment. She tried to enjoy the moment, but something felt wrong, something was just off.

It was like her bones were humming and her heart was pulling her somewhere else in that moment, but nothing was out of place and she couldn't explain it.

When he held her it was as if the humming dulled slightly and she realized that she didn't want it to dim. It was as if she should take off and follow the pull that had grasped her.

Jacob's arm surrounded her, walking her to the door, when the music started. Softly but pouring directly into her soul the song was her life.

Sadness and beauty, joy wrapped in sorrow, it was as if the song was written just for her. Jacob pulled on her shoulders walking her forward toward the door.

She tried desperately to walk out the door with the boy who had carried her lately, but she couldn't. Not without looking to the piano in the corner.

When her eyes met his time slowed. Her heart leaped and crashed all at once. She looked at Edward, his face was grave, it was like he hated her and the song suddenly became full of melancholy before the moment broke and she turned, allowing her date to walk her completely out of the door.

She tried her hardest to avoid the sadness that was creeping up on her that night, but as she fell into her bed she cried not aware that at that moment Edward sobbed into his pillow as well.

I hope this comes out well. I really would love to have someone to bounce this by before it gets posted. I have a great idea for where these two are headed. Thanks for reading!