Merry Christmas! Another long chapter. I took some creative license with this one because I had to use my imagination on the events that Bella missed while she was sleeping. The next chapters will cover the Truth and Vote in New Moon. After that there will be some extras that cover the time when Edward and Bella are settling back in together before the Epilogue. I hope you enjoy it.
Songs for this chapter:
Tonight Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins
Trouble, by Coldplay
I'd come for you, by Nickelback
Home, by Foo Fighters.
Well make things right, well feel it all tonight
Well find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight
Tonight, Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins
I don't own Twilight, nor will I profit from this. It's just for fun.
Chapter 14- Deliverance
The garishly bright lobby was just as deceptively mundane as it had been when we'd passed through earlier. A muzak version of Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles was echoing through the built in speakers in the ceiling and Gianna was sitting behind the counter with a cup of coffee and a romance novel. The irony of the scene and the soundtrack weren't lost on me.
I held Bella tightly against me to try to control the violent tremors that rocked through her entire fragile body. I needed to get her calmed down. I could feel her warm tears on my chest as I held her closer. She was on the verge of collapse, I was sure of it. This was all my fault.
Looks like his little human has seen enough of us for one day; I wonder if she still wants to be changed. Demetri thought with amusement before he spoke aloud.
"Do not leave until dark." Demetri said quickly before he turned to rejoin Heidi. But if you do, finding you and bringing you back will be my pleasure. He added mentally.
As he spoke, Gianna looked up at us for a moment with intent interest before returning to her book. She was curious about my cloak and relieved that they hadn't changed Bella.
"Are you alright?" I asked Bella automatically as soon as Demetri had vanished. It was by far the stupidest question I had ever uttered in my entire existence. Of course she wasn't alright! I was an idiot and she was falling apart at the seams. We were still alive, but I was losing her all over again. She was shaking like the epicenter of an earthquake and I was asking her dim-witted questions. I felt so useless.
"You'd better make her sit before she falls," Alice said quietly. "She's going to pieces." You have to calm her down before she makes too big of a scene in front of Gianna. I just saw that Caius will call her in two minutes to ask her to watch us and if she thinks Bella is a problem they won't let us leave. She added silently.
A horrible gut-wrenching sob erupted from Bella a moment later. The sound seemed too forceful and violent to be coming from someone so small and soft. Bella's pain was unbearable to me. I had to take care of her.
Calm her down Edward! Alice thought loudly.
"Shh Bella, shh," I said pointlessly as I led her to one of the large leather sofas in a quiet corner of the room. I was sure Gianna would have a hard time spying on us from here. I couldn't think of anything to say or do.
"Help me, Alice!" I whispered quickly in a frantic voice that was too quiet for Bella or Gianna to hear. "What do I do?"
I've bailed you out enough today to absolve me of any obligation to help you for an entire century! Alice thought angrily. If I weren't so happy you were alive, I'd kill you myself for getting us into this mess. Besides, I have no idea what to do, and it isn't me that she needs.
"I think she's having hysterics; maybe you'd better slap her," Alice advised aloud. She was just as clueless as I was. I can't see anything around her right now because she's too upset. I just know you have to calm her down. She thought.
I looked up at her with an expression of powerless panic as I tried feebly to comfort Bella. Alice merely shrugged in reply.
I need to let everyone know we're okay," she said in a low murmur that Bella didn't hear. She pulled out her cell phone to call Jasper. She couldn't think of anything but him right now, and I couldn't blame her.
"It's alright, you're safe, it's alright," I said repeatedly to Bella as I picked her up and sat her on my lap. She was still freezing, and I was afraid that shock might exacerbate her condition. I swaddled her in the cloak to try to raise her body temperature. Her clothes were still a little damp and she was shivering and shaking with the chill and her sobs.
"All those people," she croaked finally through her tears.
"I know," I said softly. I heard the phone on Gianna's desk ring and the faint, brief conversation with Caius that Alice predicted.
"It's so horrible," Bella continued.
"Yes, it is," I conceded miserably as I remembered the final thoughts of the people we'd encountered just before they met their deaths. "I wish you hadn't had to see that."
Because you've been scared and traumatized and now you know I'm a monster. I thought.
I remembered how she'd once mentioned seeing me hunt and I shuddered.
She pressed her face into my chest and wiped her eyes on the cloak, trying to regain her composure. Although I knew the gesture was probably just a need for comfort, I savored the sensation of her warm cheek on my cold skin. She was alive and for the moment, she was with me. She breathed slowly and deeply, and the sound was music to my ears. A second later, I heard the closing of a book and shuffling footsteps from behind me as Gianna approached us.
"Is there anything I can get you?" she asked in a professional tone. Her face was polite with the perfect amount of mock concern in her eyes. She didn't know about my little talent, so her thoughts were loud and unguarded.
I have to have something to report back to Caius and this boy knows I can't see or hear him from over there. Maybe I could get the girl to talk to me since I'm human if they'd let me take her to the restroom alone. She added silently.
"No," I answered her coldly. I knew that if Bella needed a bathroom break she would have asked Alice to take her when she got off the phone, and there was no way in hell I was going to leave her alone with Gianna anyway.
He's too hostile for me to do anything else. I suppose I'll just have to wait. Gianna thought. She nodded and shot a cordial smile at Bella as she walked back to her desk.
"Does she know what's going on here?" Bella asked in a surprisingly indignant tone. Her voice was still thick from her tears but she was much more composed. I was relieved that she'd calmed down, but her question made me uneasy.
"Yes," I answered, not really wanting to discuss the matter further. "She knows everything."
"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?" Bella asked in a disbelieving tone.
I cringed a little, but Bella didn't seem to notice my discomfort. "She knows it's a possibility." I replied blandly.
The shock on her face was painfully obvious. Of course someone as inherently good like Bella would never understand the thought processes of the vile Gianna.
"She's hoping they'll decide to keep her." I went on, thinking of what I'd heard in Gianna's head earlier about her hopes that Aro would allow her to be changed.
"She wants to be one of them?" Bella asked incredulously. Her already pale and tired face was suddenly the pallid color of a corpse. I nodded slightly as I studied her expression. She shivered involuntarily and I felt goose bumps rising on her skin.
"How can she want that," Bella murmured. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of that!"
My newly restored insides writhed with excruciating pain as my suspicions were confirmed. She came here to save me, but it was likely fear that caused her to cling to me now. She would never be able to see me the way she had before. No matter how much she'd loved me, she'd seen what my kind were capable of now, and there was no going back. My inexcusable abandonment and the consequences of her encounter with the Volturi had damaged our relationship beyond repair. She stared at me for a moment, and from the familiar crease between her eyebrows, I knew she'd seen some hint of my feelings in my face.
"Oh Edward," she said abruptly in an agonized voice and she broke out into renewed sobs. Was she starting to realize the full impact of Alice's promise to Aro? Had our conversation about Gianna forced her to accept the horrible knowledge that the Volturi had only freed us under the condition that she be changed?
"What's wrong?" I asked her in a worried voice, though I wasn't really sure how I would handle her answer if she had questions about the future. Alice was still on the phone, so I couldn't get any insight from her. She was talking to Carlisle now about our travel plans.
To my immense surprise and pleasure, Bella abruptly flung her arms around my neck and pressed herself against me.
"Is it sick for me to be happy right now?" She asked, her voice cracking through her tears.
If she was sick for being happy, then I was even sicker because the intimate contact with her changed my anxiety into elation. Maybe there was hope. I crushed her against me as forcefully as I could without hurting her before I answered.
"I know exactly what you mean," I murmured into her ear. "But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive."
"Yes," she replied nodding her head against my throat. "That's a good one."
"And together," I continued in a whisper as I heard Alice's phone close with a very soft snap from beside us.
She nodded reluctantly, and a good portion of the happiness I felt ebbed away. What did that mean? I wished I could hear her thoughts!
"And with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow." I added.
"Hopefully," she answered in an uncertain voice. She didn't trust me to keep her safe, and I didn't blame her. I had betrayed her trust and left her at the mercy of dogs.
"The outlook is quite good," Alice interjected cheerfully. "I'll see Jasper in less than 24 hours."
Carlisle and the others are back in Forks and he's arranged for us to get a 10:00 flight from Florence to Rome. He's trying to get us a flight from Rome to somewhere in the states where we can get a flight to Seattle, but he's still checking to see what's available. We need to get Bella back to Charlie as soon as possible because he's frantic. Alice added wordlessly.
I nodded subtly to Alice, but I was unable to take my eyes or my attention away from Bella. I looked greedily at her features, knowing that a thousand lifetimes wouldn't be long enough for me to get my fill of her. We didn't have that kind of time. We were only afforded so many years, or days or perhaps even hours. I still had no idea whether she would be willing to allow me back into her life, but I could see the tenderness in her face as she stared back at me. So, for now I would revel in the time we did have. I was just so grateful she was alive and here in my arms that I would take the future as it came. But no matter what she decided, I would never leave her. I would follow her to the ends of the earth just to watch over her from afar for the rest of her life. I'd go back to being a vampire stalker.
"You look so tired," I said softly as I ran my fingers over the dark circles under her deep brown eyes. I would make sure she got some rest and something to eat as soon as we got out of here.
"And you look thirsty," She replied as she stared at the purple shadows under my parched black eyes.
"It's nothing," I said indifferently. And, it really wasn't an issue. As long as she was safe and healthy I couldn't care less about the involuntary burning in my throat.
"Are you sure?" She asked apprehensively. "I could sit with Alice." She bit her lip as she said it.
I'd missed all of her little nervous habits, but I wasn't sure what was making her uneasy. Was she afraid that I was having a hard time with my thirst or was she reluctant for me to let her go? I really hoped it was the latter.
"Don't be ridiculous," I answered with a sigh. "I've never been in better control of that side of my nature than right now." I thought of the agony I'd felt when I thought she was dead and I knew I would never be tempted by her blood again.
She gave me a searching look and her lips trembled for a moment as though she wanted to say something, but she didn't speak. I saw the questions in her eyes and I knew we had a lot to talk about. There were so many things I needed to say to her now, but I knew she was physically and emotionally exhausted and it wasn't the right time or place for such conversations.
I needed to tell her how much I loved her, how sorry I was that I'd hurt her and left her in such a mess. Sometimes talking about my feelings was a difficult endeavor for me. It was going to be especially hard now since I'd made so many mistakes over the last six and a half months. But I owed it to her to explain everything, to beg on my hands and knees for her forgiveness. For now, though, I was content to stare at her face and inhale her sweet scent as Alice and I ironed out the details of our travel plans. Bella didn't say anything as we discussed our departure; she just stared back at me with a soft but reluctant expression.
"We're going to need to find another car so we can make the drive to Florence," Alice murmured exuberantly. "I wish I still had the Porsche, but oh well. When I found it I couldn't believe my luck; you should've seen the look on Bella's face when I pulled up in it. I would've been funny if the situation hadn't been so dire."
I chuckled a little at the image in Alice's mind of Bella's shocked face. Now that some of my panic had subsided, I was giddy with relief that we were really going to go home. I was going back to Forks with Bella and I would see my family again tomorrow. I leaned down and kissed her forehead, savoring the warmth of her petal soft skin. She closed her eyes a little as though she enjoyed the contact too but I could still feel a certain level of hesitancy in her demeanor. Maybe she was just too worn out to push me away. I pressed my face greedily into her hair, hoping that it wouldn't be my last day with her.
"I'm sorry, Alice," I said quietly as I kissed Bella's forehead again, "truly sorry for everything." She knew I wasn't just apologizing for today; I was sorry I'd forced the family to leave Forks, too.
Jasper is furious with you, but I told him he'd better calm down before he sees you. He assured me that he wouldn't make a scene, mostly because he still feels so guilty for what happened with Bella last fall. He's had a hard time since you've been gone, you know. He's had to try to keep Esme and Carlisle from being too depressed because they missed you and he's carried around the weight of thinking our leaving was his fault. She added mentally.
"It's all over now," I muttered to Alice.
Alice had a vision of Carlisle calling her a moment later, and before her phone could actually ring she answered it.
"A connecting flight from Florence to Rome and then on to Atlanta, then," Alice was whispering quickly to him. "So we should get to Sea-Tac around 8am Pacific time tomorrow… no, it would be a really bad idea to call Charlie…he'll react badly if you do…it's better if we take her straight home from the airport…she's been through a lot, but she's going to be okay…Edward has her…yes I'm sure he knows we have a lot to talk about…so am I…okay…we'll talk to you soon… you too."
Alice's cell phone reception wasn't that great here, so I couldn't hear Carlisle's side of the conversation. Alice filled me in.
"'Carlisle wanted to call Charlie and tell him that he's spoken to us and we we're safe, but I talked him out of it," Alice said in a voice too fast and quiet for human comprehension. "He was also going to let Charlie know that we're coming home, but I saw Charlie storming over to the house while he was on duty and demanding to know when we were scheduled to arrive at the airport so he could meet us at the terminal with a restraining order against you," Alice went on sadly.
I didn't look away from Bella as I tried to keep the anguish off my face. Charlie must surely hate me for what I'd done to Bella. If he did, his feelings would be more than justified, but I couldn't allow him to keep me away from her. If anyone was going to send me away, it would have to be Bella. And even if she didn't want me back, I wouldn't leave her at the mercy of wolves for protection from Victoria. I stifled a growl at the mere thought of her name.
Victoria was all mine.
"And I know you heard me say we have things to discuss when get back," Alice said severely. "Carlisle wants to have a family meeting as soon as possible. You won't be able to stay with Bella when we get her home anyway because Charlie won't let you."
I saw a vision in Alice's head of Charlie planting himself in the old rocking chain in Bella's bedroom while she slept all day. I wouldn't be able to sneak back into her room until he went to bed.
"Yes, I know," I said stiffly, wondering how I was going to be able to tolerate letting her out of my sight; I wasn't sure that I could. I leaned down and kissed the tip of Bella's nose as she continued to stare into my eyes. I could hear an increase in her pulse whenever my lips touched her skin in spite of the somewhat mixed signals I was getting from her. Her reaction merely added to my confusion.
"I'll keep an eye on her for you," Alice reassured me. "With Victoria running around, we can't leave her alone, so I'll stay hidden and watch the house. Carlisle and Esme are insisting on taking to you when we get home. He'll also need to discuss the situation with the wolves and Victoria with everyone else and how that's going to affect our return. I can't see them, so I wouldn't have anything to contribute to the discussion anyway." She muttered in a disgruntled tone.
Alice hated this newly discovered blind spot of hers. It was a first. I just nodded in reply. What would we do about the werewolves?
"You won't be away from her for long; I'll let you take over the watch when you're done catching up with everyone. That shouldn't take more than an hour and then you'll be able to sneak in her window when Charlie goes to bed. But, you have to go home and talk to the family," she finished.
"Okay," I agreed reluctantly.
I kissed Bella's on the head again, brushing her hair with my lips. She was so tired. I hoped she would sleep in the car on the way to the airport. I could smell a trace of Jacob Black's scent in her hair and it made me sick to think she'd been that close to him.
"What was all that talk about singers?" Alice asked me curiously. She was trying to distract me.
"La tua cantante," I replied, mimicking Aro's singsong tone.
"Yes, that," Alice confirmed with a frown.
I shrugged without letting go of Bella. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my…singer….because her blood sings for me."
How artistic, Alice thought sarcastically, laughing at the explanation.
We continued to discuss our travel plans, including the easiest way out of the city and the amount of time it should take us to drive to Florence. The festival traffic was going to slow us down a little, and we would have to be really careful not to draw attention to ourselves. I continued to drink in Bella's every feature, expression and movement, kissing her as often as I felt she would allow me to.
Finally, I heard Alec approaching the lobby area to tell us we were dismissed. I gently shifted Bella off my lap so I could pull us both into a standing position next to Alice. The gesture frightened Bella and she buried herself back in my chest at Alec's approach.
"You are free to leave now," Alec said politely. Good riddance. He thought. "We ask that you do not linger in the city."
"That won't be a problem," I answered him coldly. I couldn't wait to get Bella away from this place.
Alec smiled and gave a courteous bow before he disappeared through the large doors again.
Gianna showed us the exit, and I was relieved she directed us through the shorter route. It was far less stressful and intimidating for Bella.
"Goodbye now," Gianna chirped pleasantly as we left the room.
She wouldn't be so damn cheerful if she knew she's only got about two weeks left to live. Alice thought as she glared darkly at Gianna.
They weren't going to keep her after all.
We made our way out into the streets full of merrymakers dressed in cloaks and fake fangs. It was disgusting.
I'm going to go and find a car now and get Bella's things so she can freshen up. I'll get your bag too. I won't be long. Alice told me silently as I took in the appearance of the crowds. She was gone an instant later.
"Ridiculous," I muttered scathingly as a woman wearing a red cocktail dress, a black satin cloak and pearly white plastic fangs leered suggestively at me.
"Where's Alice? "Bella asked me worriedly as she scanned the streets for any sign of her. She still felt safer with Alice than she did with me.
"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them earlier," I replied evenly.
Bella smiled, tugging unconsciously at her damp clothes. It was wonderful to see her look pleased about something, even if it was just the idea of having clean clothes.
"She's stealing a car too, isn't she?" Bella asked, still smirking.
"Not until we're outside the city," I said, smiling too as we walked toward the gates that led out of Volterra. I couldn't wait to get out of that wretched place.
Bella staggered as she walked beside me through the cobblestone lanes. She was completely worn out. Surely she would fall asleep in the car. I half carried her to the dark alley where Alice was waiting in a small black Fiat.
"I'm sorry," Alice said sheepishly as I guided Bella into the cramped back seat and wrapped my arms around her. "There wasn't much to choose from."
But we'll make it to Florence with enough time for me to get you some clothes. She thought. Alice would never pass up an excuse to shop no matter what the circumstances were. I chuckled.
"It's fine, Alice. They can't all be 911Turbos." I replied in an amused voice.
I may have to acquire one of those legally," she mused.
You owe me big, you know. She hinted silently. I laughed again.
"I'll get you one for Christmas," I assured her.
"Yellow." She answered with a smile.
I could feel Bella relaxing as she curled herself into a comfortable position in my lap. She was warm thanks to the cloak. For that reason I was glad to have it.
"You can sleep now, Bella," I said happily. "It's over." She was safe and in my arms, which was something I believed to be impossible 24 hours ago.
"I don't want to go to sleep; I'm not tired," She answered me in a feeble voice. I sighed. I knew she was lying. She was still terrible at it.
"Try," I pled as I kissed her neck. She shook her head forcefully as though she were trying to shake off the exhaustion.
"You're still just as stubborn," I said with amusement. I had missed every little thing about her.
We made it to Florence without meeting much traffic, and Bella didn't succumb to her weariness. Alice made it to Ferragamo's with little time to spare before it closed. She made the most of her time and she found me a nice new outfit; a pale green shirt and khaki colored slacks that I gladly changed into when we made it to the airport. I threw the cloak away.
I insisted that Bella eat something while we waited for our plane. There was a small restaurant in the airport that served pastries and gelato near our terminal, but little else. I bought her several things from their rather limited menu while she changed clothes. She nibbled on the items unenthusiastically while we waited for our flight. I chastised Alice for not feeding Bella sooner. She was too thin as it was and skipping meals wasn't going to help that.
Our short trip from Florence to Rome was uneventful. Bella was still awake when we landed, but I'd seen her eyes droop a couple of times on the short flight. As we made our way through the airport in Rome to catch our next flight, I thought of how I'd felt less than two days before when I'd been here. I pulled Bella closer to me.
Our flight to Atlanta was scheduled to leave a half an hour after we'd arrived in Rome. We boarded the plane and I stored my bag and Bella's in the bins above us once I'd helped her into the window seat; Alice sat behind us, talking nonstop to Jasper on her cell phone. I sat down beside Bella and moved the armrest that separated us. She curled up against me, and I hoped that she would finally go to sleep, but she didn't close her heavy eyes. Instead, she asked the flight attendant for a caffeine laden soda.
"Bella," I chastised her. Why wouldn't she just give in and go to sleep? She didn't seem to want to talk to me and I couldn't think of any reason why she was fighting so hard to stay awake. Bella rarely ever drank anything caffeinated, and I knew it wouldn't take a lot of soda to keep her from getting the rest she needed so badly.
"I don't want to go to sleep," she said emphatically, her voice taking on that childlike quality that it had sometimes when she was being stubborn. I started to argue with her, but she continued before I could protest further.
"If I close my eyes now, I'll see things that I don't want to see…I'll have nightmares." She whispered.
I didn't respond. No wonder she didn't want to sleep! She'd just seen several strangers being herded into a lair of monsters to die horrific deaths, watched Jane torture me, and worst of all, she'd nearly lost her own life.
She was silent for the rest of the flight. I wanted to talk things out with her so badly, but now wasn't the time. It wouldn't be right to question her while she was in the throes of exhaustion and reeling from the terrible things she'd been through. So, I held her, stroking her face and kissing her to try to convey my love without words. She didn't protest, but she didn't reciprocate my kisses either. I wasn't sure what it meant. Was she just too tired to ask me to stop?
I embraced her, laying her head against my chest and stroked her hair for a very long time, trying to enjoy every second of the contact in case it was my last chance to hold her.
I wanted to ask Alice if Bella would forgive me, but her mind was consumed with thoughts of Jasper, so I tried to give her some privacy. She had been convinced she would probably never see the love of her life again when we were in Volterra, and all she could think about now was their impending reunion in Seattle. I felt terrible for everything she'd had to deal with in the last few days. I knew that my whole family had been through hell because of me.
Bella stayed awake for the entire flight to Atlanta, and she never faltered on the trip to Seattle either, thanks to all the sodas she'd been drinking. However, I could tell by the time we landed in Washington that it would take a lot more than caffeine to keep her awake for much longer. I wrapped my arms around her waist and guided her through the terminal, where, to her apparent surprise, Carlisle, Esme and Jasper were waiting for the three of us.
Well, Carlisle and Esme were waiting for all of us, at least. Jasper wasn't thinking about anything but Alice. He was standing a good distance away from Carlisle and Esme, and he didn't even look at Bella and me when we walked past him.
Oh, thank God! Carlisle thought when he saw us approaching. He had been terrified of losing us, but mostly afraid of losing me. I felt horrible when I heard the intensity of his feelings.
Esme was just as relieved to see me as Carlisle was, but it was Bella she reached for first. Esme wrapped her arms around Bella and hugged her tightly through my embrace.
"Thank you so much," she whispered to Bella, who blushed in response as though she didn't deserve any gratitude or admiration for what's she'd braved to reach me.
Esme let go of Bella and turned her attention to me, her relief and gratitude giving way to anger. She was a seething mother who had nearly lost a wayward child, and I expected it.
"You will never put me through that again," she fumed, and there was pain in her mental voice to equal the anger. How could you do this to us! I thought I was going to lose my mind! Carlisle was frantic, and Jasper was scared to death for Alice!
"Sorry, mom," I said inadequately as I tried to smile at her.
"Thank you Bella," Carlisle said gratefully. "We owe you." She is so brave and extraordinary, Edward; stronger than I ever would have imagined. I'm so glad she had the strength to stop you.
"Hardly," Bella mumbled sleepily and I held on to her tighter.
"She's dead on her feet," Esme said, giving me a reproachful look that echoed her thoughts. "Let's get her home."
Poor little thing…she's so thin and frail looking. Maybe Carlisle should examine her. She added mentally.
"I can smell the caffeine in her blood! Why would you let her drink a bunch of soda? She should have slept on the plane, Edward," Carlisle whispered as he took Bella's bag from me and we walked toward the parking garage. "You should know what sleep deprivation can do to humans."
"She was afraid of having nightmares," I muttered guiltily in reply. He nodded knowingly as he pondered what Bella had been through and he didn't comment on the subject again. How was I going to leave her even for a moment! What if she had a nightmare and woke up alone? I had to take care of her. She couldn't be by herself after everything she'd been through. And, what if that reeking mongrel showed up at Charlie's? Alice wouldn't be able to see him coming.
I was so lost in my musings that I didn't notice Rosalie and Emmett until I felt Bella gasp in surprise at the sight of them standing next to Carlisle's Mercedes. I tensed. Rosalie was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. I heard the remorse in her thoughts but I didn't give a damn. I wasn't ready to forgive her. She was a selfish bitch who was incapable of understanding anyone's feelings but her own.
"Don't," Esme said softly. Please forgive her Edward! She didn't mean any harm; she just wanted you to come home! Esme thought.
"She feels awful." Esme said aloud.
"She should," I yelled angrily. I felt Bella tense beside me at the harsh sound of my voice.
"It's not her fault," Bella slurred sleepily. Naturally, she was holding herself responsible for everything that had happened rather than apportioning the blame where it belonged.
"Let her make amends," Esme begged, hoping that her words along with Bella's sentiment might persuade me to be forgiving. "We'll ride back with Alice and Jasper."
I gritted my teeth defiantly and glared at Rosalie. She winced at my expression.
"Please, Edward," Bella implored quietly.
Only Bella could be compassionate enough to immediately be willing to forgive Rosalie for nearly getting her killed. Rosalie didn't deserve Bella's kindness. She'd been consistently cold and rude to Bella, always treating her like an unwelcome nuisance every chance she got. The way my sister had treated her was inexcusable. Right now, I was so angry at Rosalie that I didn't think I could stand to ride home with her, let alone forgive her. But, Bella was looking at me with pleading eyes and I could tell she wanted me to do just that.
I sighed and pulled Bella toward the car. I couldn't deny her anything, so I would attempt to at least be cordial to my egocentric sister. No words were spoken aloud as we got into the car, but Emmett was trying to persuade me to hear Rose out.
You should have seen her when she realized what you were going to do. Emmett told me silently. She was a mess, Edward. I know how pig-headed she can be, but I wish you'd forgive her. She's sorry.
I didn't respond as I buckled Bella's seatbelt. She rested her head against my chest and I kissed her cheek, still glaring at Rosalie. Bella was drifting off to sleep when I heard what Rosalie was planning to do, and my expression changed from fury to shock.
"Bella," Rosalie said timidly. This was the first time she'd ever had the decency to speak to Bella directly. Bella tensed fearfully in my arms and she looked up at Rose with apprehension and surprise in her shadowed brown eyes.
"Yes, Rosalie," Bella whispered nervously.
She's afraid of me…I've been so horrible to her. I'm sorry Edward. Rose thought regretfully.
"I'm so very sorry, Bella," Rosalie said, her voice thick with the severity of her remorse and shame. "I feel wretched about all of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me."
"Of course, Rosalie," Bella mumbled almost incoherently, but without hesitation. "It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you."
I'm sorry Edward. Rose thought. I nodded once. Bella's compassion and Rose's willingness to apologize directly to her had softened me.
"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose," Emmett joked, and I smiled at the relief in his voice. I had missed him.
Can't believe she jumped off a cliff. He added wordlessly.
"I'm conscious," Bella protested in a feeble slur. Emmett chuckled again, glancing back at Bella.
"Let her sleep," I whispered softly as I stroked her hair. She was out a second after I'd finished my sentence.
I missed the little squirt. I'm glad we've got you both back. Things weren't right at home without you two, Edward. He thought.
"The two of us," I lamented. Was there an 'us' anymore; would she forgive me?
Emmett really laughed this time, rolling his eyes at me. "Come on, Edward! She traveled halfway around the world and faced the freakin' Volturi to save your stupid ass! She's gonna take you back; she loves you for some reason."
"I know, but that doesn't means she can forgive me after everything I've done," I replied sadly.
"She forgave Rose and she didn't deserve it either," Emmett pointed out, adjusting his speed to accommodate Seattle's morning rush hour traffic. "She's a crazy little human."
Rosalie glared angrily at him, her thoughts full of ways to deprive Emmett in retaliation for his little jab. I chuckled in spite of myself, and Bella muttered something unintelligible in her sleep. We were silent for a few minutes. I watched Bella sleep, searching her face for any signs that her dreams were unpleasant, but so far she wasn't having any nightmares.
"Carlisle wants to talk about our plans for Victoria when we get home," Emmett said casually as we merged onto the highway. "You know Alice filled him in about her and the wolves …said that crazy bitch was back in Forks to kill Bella 'cause James was her mate and we offed him."
"There's nothing to discuss," I growled. "Victoria is mine. I will kill her myself."
"Maybe you should at least let us help you find her, since tracking isn't really your thing," Emmett replied crassly.
I cringed, and Rosalie punched his shoulder pointedly.
"Sorry." He muttered. "But Carlisle says we have to iron out some details for the sake of the treaty. Alice sees that Victoria isn't going to give up, and she's much more familiar with the area than she was when she came through with James, so she's bound to have some sense of the treaty lines; she's been around for a couple of weeks."
I glanced back down at Bella's beautiful but careworn face and I was filled with guilt again. She was so defenseless. How could I have been so stupid! She shouldn't forgive me, no matter how badly I wanted her to.
"Stop Edward," she whispered in her sleep. She must have been dreaming about running through the alley.
We spent the rest of the drive in virtual silence that was occasionally interrupted by Bella's soft sleep talking or light snoring.
The sky over Forks was the typical soft, thick grey when we entered the city limits a couple of hours later. It was a welcome sight.
It was the last welcoming thing I would see in the city limits.
Carlisle had called Charlie right after we made it to town to tell him we would be arriving on his doorstep with Bella in a matter of minutes, so he was waiting in the front yard when the car pulled into the driveway. Alice hadn't foreseen Charlie making any attempts to kill me, so Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and Esme went straight home.
"Bella!" Charlie yelled, half angry and half relieved when he saw me pulling her out of the car.
"Charlie," Bella muttered drowsily into my shoulder.
"Shh,' I whispered. "It's okay; you're home and safe…just sleep." Charlie's angry form was approaching us quickly, and I hoped he would see that Bella was sleeping and restrain himself.
Charlie Swan's thoughts were still indistinct to me, but I registered the surging hatred in his head as he watched me carrying Bella toward the front door. His fury was quickly eating away at the relief.
"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here!" He screamed, his face inches from mine. I flinched, knowing that I deserved every ounce of his disgust and anger. But I really wished he would calm down for Bella's sake. She was so tired, and she'd been through so much, but I couldn't explain that part to her father.
"Stop it, Dad," Bella whispered imploringly in a voice that was too soft for Charlie to hear.
"What's wrong with her!' He yelled at me, and I heard some distinctive words in his head. Most of them had to do with inflicting irreversible bodily harm on me.
"She's just very tired, "I answered, trying futilely to reassure him. "Please let her rest." I knew instantly I'd chosen the wrong words as the rage in his head reached a fevered pitch.
"Don't you tell me what to do!" He yelled. "Give her to me! Get your hands off her!"
I saw Emmett put his hand on the door handle of the car, but I shook my head at him. With a terrible pain in my chest, I started to hand Bella to Charlie, but she wouldn't let me go. This would have thrilled me if the situation wasn't so tense. Charlie tugged fruitlessly on her arm in an attempt to pry her away from me.
"Cut it out, Dad," Bella muttered in a more coherent voice this time. She opened her tired bloodshot eyes to look at him. "Be mad at me."
"You bet I will," Charlie vowed. "Get inside."
I felt a prickle of unease at the fury in his mind. I knew he would never intentionally hurt Bella, but Charlie had an irrational temper, and Bella told me he'd spanked her a few times when she was small because that temper had gotten the better of him. He'd regretted those incidents deeply, but he wasn't thinking rationally at the moment, and his anger was overwhelming.
"Okay, let me down," Bella replied, pushing away from me as she made a feeble attempt to get to her feet. I obliged reluctantly, knowing she was too weak and tired to stand on her own. I moved with unnatural speed as I caught her before she could injure herself on the sidewalk.
"Just let me get her upstairs," I pleaded with Charlie. "Then I'll leave." The idea of letting her out of my sight was agonizing, but I knew I had no choice.
"No," Bella protested frantically as she fisted the fabric of my shirt in her slender hands.
"I won't be far," I promised her in a whisper.
I was pleased and relieved that she wanted me to stay with her. The feeling was even more intense than it had been when I'd first heard her ask me to stay in her sleep so many months ago. I carried her to her bedroom, loosening her grip on me so I could lie her down. Charlie turned down the covers for me, and I placed her head on the pillow. Reflexively, I started to pull the blankets back up around her, but Charlie pushed me away and did it himself. Then he grabbed my upper arm and pulled me from the room with nearly all of his strength. It would have been easy for me to stop him, but I let him drag me down the steps.
"Get the hell out of here," he hissed, too angry to register my abnormal body temperature under his fingers. "Don't you ever darken my door again, Cullen. You put her through hell and I'll be damned if I let you do it again. "
Charlie was so angry that I heard him more clearly than ever. He was thinking that he never wanted to see me again, and that he should have known I was involved when Bella vanished with Alice. He let go of my arm and turned to face me when we reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked at me with nothing short of hatred in his eyes. Eyes that were so much like Bella's it hurt to look into them.
"I'm so sorry," I muttered pointlessly. I knew that he wouldn't listen, regardless of how much I meant it. He had every right to hate me. Were I in his shoes, I would have felt no differently.
"Do you really think I give a …do you think sorry is going to make it better!" he fumed, his voice an angry hiss. He was desperate to scream at me, but he didn't want to wake Bella. "You nearly killed her, you worthless son of a bitch! She was… she…" he faltered, and his pain over what Bella had suffered rendered him speechless for a moment.
"Every bit of trouble my daughter has gotten into since she moved here has been your fault," Charlie went on when he'd collected himself. "I'm assuming Bella's latest disappearance was because Alice needed her help to bail you out of some kind of trouble, and if I find out anything illegal was involved, I'll make sure you pay for it."
He had no idea just how right he was.
"Charlie, I'm really…" I began, but the sound of familiar thoughts interrupted me.
Just go, Edward; trying to apologize again will only make it worse. Talk to Carlisle and then come back. I heard Alice say mentally. She was waiting just outside the very forest where I'd broken Bella's heart, listening to Charlie's diatribe.
"I'll leave now," I said lamely, following Alice's advice and heading for the door. I hoped he would forgive me someday too, even if I couldn't forgive myself.
"Alice is still welcome here anytime, but you stay away from my daughter," Charlie growled as he opened the door. Without a backward glance, I walked outside to the first drops of an approaching rain shower.
Charlie watched through the front window as I got into the car with Emmett and Rosalie. I heard him go back up the stairs and into Bella's room. The old rocking chair creaked as he sat down in it to watch her sleep. We pulled out of the driveway a moment later, and the pain in my chest grew with every movement of the car. The drive reminded me irresistibly of my last departure, and I had to fight the desire to throw open the car door and run back to Charlie's.
"Calm down, kid," Emmett said as we sped down the highway toward the house. "You know you gotta face the music over what you did. I can't believe you went all the way to Italy without even bothering to call Alice."
It's because he believed me. Rosalie thought miserably as she twisted her hands in her lap.
The house looked as though we'd never left. Carlisle was standing in the doorway before we even got to the porch. His face was somber, and I heard the pained disappointment in his thoughts. He held the front door open and stepped back to let us inside. Rosalie and Emmett went in to join Esme in the dining room, but I hesitated, looking at my father.
"Carlisle," I began as I started to cross the threshold. Before I could continue, his arms were around me.
"You don't have to say anything else," He said quietly, embracing me tighter. "I'm just glad you're okay." I missed you; we all missed you. Please don't ever do anything like that again.
Jasper's thoughts weren't quite so warm. If you had gotten Alice killed, I would have…
"You would've done exactly the same thing that I did when I thought Bella was…" I said in response to his silent words, unable to finish the sentence. "I'm sorry, Jasper."
Jasper nodded, his anger ebbing away. "So am I," he replied. "Yes, I would have done the same thing, but you're still an idiot for not checking things out first."
"I tried," I answered. "Alice told you I called Charlie's house."
"Yeah, she did," Jasper conceded. "She said that wolf boy answered the phone, but Bella was right there, so it was just rotten luck that she didn't take the call. "
"Rotten luck indeed," I agreed. "If she had answered, I would have been on the first plane back to Seattle instead of going to Italy."
When I first decided to call Charlie's, I'd convinced myself I would have hung up if Bella had answered, but I knew now that I would have given in to my desire to go home as soon as I heard her voice.
"We need to talk about the situation with Victoria and the wolves," Carlisle said, his attitude suddenly businesslike as he let us to the dining room.
Emmett, Rosalie and Esme were already seated in their usual places. I remembered the last time we'd met in this room, and I winced. We were here now to deal with the consequences of the choices I'd made in our last meeting.
"Do the Quileutes know we're back yet?" Rosalie asked as soon as Carlisle, Jasper and I had taken our seats.
"I don't think so," Carlisle replied. "Alice said that Jacob Black informed the pack of her visit, but they were also told about her departure with Bella. I picked up the pack's scent trail about 5 miles west of here; they've been in the area as recently as two days ago, and if they knew we were here, they wouldn't have crossed the line."
"Then they broke the treaty," Emmett growled. "So why should we be worried about looking for Victoria on their side of the line?"
"Because they saved Bella's life on more than one occasion," Carlisle said forcefully. "They kept Victoria from getting to her, and Alice told me that Laurent was in our territory when he attacked, and if they hadn't crossed the line, she would have died."
"Laurent?" Emmett exclaimed. He didn't know about that part of the story.
"Laurent came to the area to assess the protection around Bella as a favor to Victoria," I answered mechanically. "He came across her in the clearing just off the trail near the highway when he was hunting, and…" I couldn't continue; I wanted to break something.
"And he didn't find any protection, so he tried to make a meal out of her," Emmett finished tactlessly.
Jeez, kid! Everything that could have gone wrong did, huh? He added silently to me.
"Can we talk about strategy now?" I snapped, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. "Laurent is dead and I want to go back to Charlie's."
"Alice said that Bella won't wake up until 2am at the earliest," Carlisle replied. "So you have time to listen and contribute." Esme wants to have a few words with you when we're done. He added mentally.
"We haven't picked up any fresh trails anyway," Jasper said, eager for us to get to the point so I could trade places with Alice. "Victoria seems to have vanished. Alice thinks she scared her off when she showed up at Bella's, but we can't be too careful."
"I'm going to find her wherever she is," I seethed, nearly crushing the edge of the table with my hand. "I will kill her for this. She's mine."
Jasper stared intently at me, and I felt my body relax before I could break Esme's dining room table.
"Why do you think the wolves have returned?" Esme asked, speaking directly to Carlisle.
"I don't know, but I think we should be grateful that they were in the right place at the right time," Carlisle replied, looking pointedly at me. "We owe them, and so I am willing to forgive their breach of the boundaries."
"So now what?" Emmett asked impatiently. "And how many wolves are we talking about?"
"According to what Bella told Alice, there are 5 in the pack at present," Carlisle replied. "And what we'll do now is take turns watching the areas around Forks and the Hoh forest. I think Alice will probably see anything pertinent, but because of the wolves, we can't rely on her vision alone to alert us to danger. We'll need to canvass our territory on a regular basis, but we must be careful not to cross the line. The wolves are going to be on edge with Victoria hunting in the area."
"Or…" Jasper interjected. He paused to look at me. I heard what he was thinking and I growled. I would not allow it.
"Or what?" Emmett asked.
"Or maybe Bella would consent to go and talk to Jacob Black on our behalf," Jasper said quickly. "She goes to La Push all the time, and if she could convince them to sit down with us and renegotiate some borders, then…"
"Bella isn't going within 5 miles of that mutt," I said through clenched teeth. I wanted to rip Jasper apart for even suggesting it. "It's bad enough that she had to rely on wolves while I was…"
"No way, Jasper," Emmett said before I could finish. "You don't know what werewolves are like; you've never seen them because you weren't with us when we lived her before…they're"
"I agree with Emmett and Edward," Carlisle said quickly. "We can't put Bella in the middle of this; she's already risked her life for Edward out of necessity, and I won't be responsible for putting the most vulnerable member of our family in that kind of danger."
My insides burned with guilt and shame at his words.
"The most practical course of action is to be patient and patrol the area." Carlisle finished, staring at me with sympathy on his face and in his thoughts that I didn't deserve. "Edward will look after Bella, and the rest of us will sort out a schedule and divide up areas when Alice gets home."
Jasper started to argue his point further, but Esme cut him off.
"I think we've sorted out everything we can on the issue for now," she said. "Edward wants to get back to Bella."
"Thanks, mom," I said gratefully even though I knew she wasn't done with me yet. Everyone else got up and left and Esme and I were alone.
"I'm not going to lecture you too much because I know you're already feeling terribly guilty," She said, wrapping her arms around me. "But the next time you decide to do something crazy like leaving Bella or trying to kill yourself, I will strangle you."
"I am so sorry," I replied, saying those words for what felt like the thousandth time in the last 24 hours.
"I know you are, dear," she answered. "But the person who really deserves the apology is Bella, so I'll let you go to her. Give her our love when she wakes up." She kissed my cheek before she let me go.
Maybe you should hunt first, though. You're awfully thirsty, but I suppose Alice would have insisted you do so if she thought there was a risk. She thought.
"Don't worry, mom," I answered. "I'll be fine."
As I sprinted out into the familiar rain at breakneck speed, Rosalie called after me.
"Emmett's right; she'll forgive you too."
It took me 3 minutes and 32 seconds to reach the place where Alice was hiding in the woods, watching the house for any signs of trouble.
"I didn't talk to Charlie," she whispered as I joined her. "He's still so mad I knew he wouldn't even listen to me. Bella will have to sort it all out when she wakes up."
"If she wants to sort it out," I muttered doubtfully. I was still terrified that she would send me away.
"I think she will," Alice said, and I was alarmed at the doubt in her voice. Alice usually knew the answers. She'd been the one who'd predicted my relationship with Bella to start with.
"Even you aren't sure?" I asked.
Alice answered me quietly. "Something is clouding my vision."
I was sure I knew what it was, but I didn't want to think about it.
"Charlie is in the living room watching a basketball game, so you can go in now." Alice said. "I don't see him catching you there."
"Thank you Alice," I whispered. "For everything."
"Jasper's waiting for me, and I need to fill the others in on the details of our trip, so I'll see you in the morning."
I climbed into Bella's window without making a sound. She was lying on her side, her hand resting on her cheek. Seeing her resting peacefully took my breath away. She was really safe. I stood near the window and watched her sleeping for several minutes, and when I was sure she was sleeping deeply enough, I lifted her gently off the mattress so I could lie down with her. I cradled her in my arms and listened to her slow, even breathing.
As I looked around the all too familiar room, I noticed several changes. There were no books or CD's scattered about, and the place was far too tidy. Where were all of her things? Then, I remembered Alice's conversation with Charlie. I'd seen the exchange in her head when she touched Aro.
"She was avoiding anything that might remind her of him," Charlie had said to Alice.
I had hurt her so much. "I'm so sorry, love," I whispered as I pressed my face into her hair. She sighed and snuggled closer to me.
"No," she muttered, twisting slightly in my arms. "No, Edward, no...the sun..."
She was dreaming about chasing me through the streets of Italy.
"Leave him alone," she moaned. "Alice make her stop…Jane…."
I began to hum her lullaby in the hope of soothing her. The talking stopped for a time, so it seemed to work. I held her for several hours while she slept without stirring and her breathing seemed to be attuned to the rhythm of the rain.
In and out. Drip drop.
Charlie ate a solitary dinner that evening, and I could hear him thinking of how much cooking Bella was going to be doing when she was grounded for the rest of the school year. He was still furious with her, and he was planning to set some clear ground rules when she woke up. He was thinking of making a list of all of her new chores and scaring her with threats of shipping her back to Renee when the phone rang.
"Billy," I heard him say into the phone. "Yes, she's fine...just tired...she's been asleep ever since she got home this morning. A pause as he listened to Billy's inquiries for additional information about Bella's condition. "Yes, I'm sure she's asleep."
"No, it wasn't Alice Cullen who brought her home, " He answered. "It was Edward and his other sister and their brother Emmett...I don't know what their plans are...don't worry Billy, Edward Cullen won't be Bella's problem anymore if I have anything to say about it. Tell Jake I said hi. Yeah, talk to you soon."
Charlie hung up the phone, cleared his dinner dishes and returned to the living room to watch basketball.
I growled to myself as I mulled over the conversation. The Quileutes were undoubtedly trying to find out whether or not we were back for good, and Billy had been asking about me on his son's behalf, I was sure of it.
The image of Jacob Black's face I'd seen in Alice's mind swam to the forefront of my thoughts. I saw how he looked at Bella from Alice's perspective. He was in love with her, and they had gotten close over the last few months.
Was the feeling mutual? I felt sick at the thought. But the idea shouldn't surprise me. If Bella were going to fall in love with someone else, it would be just like her to find another monster. I felt her sigh in her sleep again, and I kissed her cheek when she shifted in my arms again.
The hours passed, and I watched her sleep, wondering if this would be the last time I could hold her like this, and terrified that it would be. I wanted her to get up so we could talk, and at the same time, I wanted to keep watching her sleep because I was afraid of what she would say when she did wake.
The nightmares started an hour after Charlie went to bed.
"No," Bella moaned, thrashing restlessly. "Those people...no...they're going to die...no...monsters"
"It's okay love," I whispered, disgusted with myself for causing her nightmares. "No one is going to hurt you."
"Edward," she mumbled, still lost in her dreams. "Gone."
I wasn't going anywhere.
"Jacob," she said, frowning slightly. "I'll come back...sorry."
The pain ripped through me like a hot knife at her words as I waited for her to wake up and send me away for good.
Poor Edward! He's so afraid he's lost Bella for good this time. The next chapter will correspond with The Truth in New Moon. I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday. Thanks again for reading.