Chapter 16 Discourse
Even though I was really worried about Bella's plans to persuade my family to change her, I couldn't help but appreciate the pleasure of running with her again. The sensation of her body pressed against me was indescribable. I could feel the heat of her arms and legs wrapped tightly around me; hear her heart beating steadily against my cold back, and the warmth of her breath on my skin was a soft sigh. She rested her head upon my shoulder, the cool, damp breeze rushing through her hair as she watched our progress through the sea of evergreen trees.
As I ran, I tried to think of many arguments to counter Bella's request. The most pressing concern that my family would want to address was the threat of the Volturi. I'd decided the strongest point I could make would entail explaining how Bella's immunity to their talents put them at a disadvantage. The other factor would be timing; if she were to be changed, we would have to plan carefully to avoid rousing suspicion, not to mention the treaty. I hoped my arguments would buy me some time at the very least.
Bella interrupted my clever plans when she turned her face toward me and kissed my neck. I could feel that wonderfully familiar tingling heat pass through my skin where her lips had touched me. I didn't know if she realized it or not, but this was the first time she had initiated any physical contact between us since we'd returned home.
"Thank you," I said gratefully in response to the gesture. "Does that mean you've decided you're awake?"
She laughed, and for the first time since we'd been reunited she sounded like my Bella.
"Not really," she replied. "More that, either way, I'm not trying to wake up; not tonight." I grimaced and gritted my teeth. I had my work cut out for me.
I'll earn your trust back," I vowed, "if it's my final act." I would spend the rest of my remaining years making things up to her, no matter what I had to do.
"I trust you," Bella replied after a moment's pause. "It's me I don't trust."
I felt a twinge of fear at her words. Was she saying that she didn't trust her judgment when it came to our relationship or was she torn over her feelings for someone else? Someone I didn't want to think about.
"Explain that please." I said curiously. I reduced my speed as I approached the stretch of forest near the house. As I waited for her answer, I listened to the familiar sounds of home.
I could hear the rushing water from the nearby river, and Emmett's laughter as he and Rosalie watched an old cartoon on the pricey Korean TV Emmett had just gotten. I was surprised Rose was sitting through a Bugs Bunny marathon but she was in a good mood. Esme and Carlisle were in his study talking about the events of the last few days and Alice was rearranging everyone's closets and unpacking clothes with Jasper's reluctant assistance. She was waiting patiently for Bella and me to arrive, but she hadn't said anything to the others yet.
"Well," Bellla began, her head still nestled into my shoulder. She seemed to be trying to figure out how she wanted to phrase her response and I was getting impatient as usual. "I don't trust myself to be…enough to deserve you. There's nothing about me that could hold you."
This was the last thing I had expected to hear, but I shouldn't have been so surprised. Bella had always harbored a certain level of insecurity because she had a skewed perception of me, but after I'd left her, that insecurity must have taken on a new meaning. She was afraid I would leave her again through some fault of her own. This was ridiculous, of course. She had everything backwards again. She was the one who was too good for me, and it was never her fault that I'd gone. The fear and the pain in her voice was agonizing.
As soon as I stopped walking, I reached behind me to help her down. I set her on her feet and embraced her at once, stroking her hair and holding her close to me. I had to make her understand.
"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable," I reassured her emphatically. "Never doubt that."
Bella hid her face from me and I sensed her skepticism. There was something else I'd wanted to ask her, and I had a feeling there would be a correlation between this issue and her response.
"You never did tell me," I started to ask the question, but I knew I wouldn't like the answer and I hesitated.
"What?" she prompted.
"What your greatest problem is," I finished reluctantly. She looked up at me and sighed sadly. This was going to be bad.
"I'll give you one guess," she replied, tapping my nose with one soft fingertip.
I nodded knowingly, trying to hide the pain this revelation caused me. It was pain I deserved a hundred times over.
"I'm worse than the Volturi," I answered darkly. "I guess I've earned that." I had earned it, but it was still hard to hear. I scared her more than a bunch of elitist monsters that threatened her life and gave her nightmares.
She rolled her eyes at me, and the gesture confused me. Would I ever figure her out completely? I was willing to spend the rest of our lives trying.
"The worst the Volturi can do is kill me," she answered bluntly.
I was shocked and anxious as I searched her face for some hint of the meaning behind her words.
"You can leave me," she clarified in a sad, desperate whisper. "The Volturi…Victoria; they're nothing compared to that."
The burning, torturous grief that rushed through me was so pronounced that I gasped. She would rather lose her life than to have me abandon her again. My love was more important to her than her own survival. She'd told me this in a different way before, but I'd never really comprehended it. I was such a fool for leaving her alone, for not understanding. She had nearly died at the hands of Victoria and the Volturi, but I had nearly killed her in another way. She'd been dying of a broken heart for months before Victoria had ever come back to Forks. Had she been trying to speed up the process by jumping off that cliff? Charlie's account of her behavior in my absence had made Alice believed she was suicidal. Bella's pronouncement meshed with that theory.
"Don't," Bella murmured softly as she registered the pain on my face. She stroked my cheek in an attempt to soothe me. "Don't be sad."
Sad was a powerful understatement; her words cut me to the core. But, they were true and I deserved every morsel of heartache they caused me. I couldn't allow her to see how much what she'd said had hurt me, though. I didn't want her to ever be afraid to tell me how she felt about what I'd done. I tried to smile at her, but it was a feeble effort.
"If there was only some way to make you see that I can't leave you," I sighed quietly, knowing the words were meaningless to her. How could she trust anything I said after what I'd done?
"Time, I suppose will be the way to convince you." I continued. I knew the only thing I could do was allow my actions to sway her; I had to be patient.
"Okay," she answered with a nod. She was going to give me time to show her. The idea made me feel a little better, but only marginally. She stared intently at me and I could tell she regretted her honesty.
"So, since you're staying, can I have my stuff back?" she asked in an attempt to change the subject. She tried to sound cheerful but I knew she only wanted to make me feel better.
I laughed at her choice of topics. Bella never cared for material things.
"Your things were never gone," I confessed. I thought of the reasons I'd left those mementos behind and the black bag I'd carried all around the world with me before I explained further.
"I knew it was wrong since I promised you peace without reminders; it was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the tickets…they're all under your floorboards."
"Really?" Bella asked, and she looked very pleased about this.
I nodded in affirmation, and I was glad this seemingly inconsequential fact made her happy. How odd! I had assumed just the opposite would be true after hearing about the way she'd gotten rid of all of her books and CD's. The current state of her room seemed to indicate that she hadn't wanted any tangible reminders of me at all.
She scrutinized my expression and I saw that she was still worried about having hurt my feelings.
"I think," she said pensively, biting down on her bottom lip for a moment. "I'm not sure but I wonder…." She paused again, still thinking. "I think maybe I knew the whole time."
"What did you know?" I asked curiously. Her attempts to distract me were working to a degree. My interest in her silent mind had temporarily sidetracked me.
"Some part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you cared whether I lived or died; that's probably why I was hearing the voices." She replied thoughtfully.
I stood there, frozen in place by her insane words. She'd been hearing voices in her head because she thought I cared nothing for her welfare!
My absence had driven her mad.
"Voices?" I managed finally, making every effort to keep the fear out of my voice.
"Well, just one voice," she explained reluctantly as she studied my face. "Yours…It's a long story."
She could see the worry in my expression and I could tell she didn't want to elaborate but I needed to hear the rest.
"I've got time," I replied calmly. I needed to be able to assess her mental state. If she needed counseling for some mental health condition she'd developed while I was gone I would make sure she got it.
"It's pretty pathetic," she answered apologetically. I didn't respond; I just waited for her to explain.
"Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?" she asked finally. Was she going to confess the real reason why she'd jumped off that cliff?
"You jumped off a cliff for fun," I said flatly.
"Umm, right," she answered uncomfortably. "And before that, with the motorcycle…"
"Motorcycle?" I interjected as fresh anger began to bubble up inside me. Who the hell had been teaching her of all people to ride a motorcycle? But, of course, I knew the answer.
Stupid, irresponsible mongrel! I bit back a growl.
Werewolves, vengeful vampires, and motorcycles! I was never going to let her out of my sight again.
"I guess I didn't tell Alice about that part," she said nervously, sensing the fury that was building in my chest.
"No," I answered stiffly, forcing myself not to get sidetracked with this new horrifying piece of information. I had to get to the bottom of the truth about her state of mind.
"Well, about that," she said worriedly. "See, I found that…when I was doing something dangerous or stupid… I could remember you more clearly." she paused for a moment and I felt a little relief at her assessment. At least she was cognizant enough to see that her actions were unwise.
"I could remember how you sounded when you were angry," she continued. "I could hear it, like you were standing right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didn't hurt so much. It was like you were protecting me again. Like you didn't want me to be hurt and…well, I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because…underneath it all, I knew you hadn't stopped loving me."
"You…were…risking your…life to hear…" I choked in a horrified whisper. Well this wasn't what I'd imagined but it made me feel even colder than I already was. She was cognizant of her actions, but what she'd been doing was the saddest, most desperate thing I'd ever heard.
"Shh," she interrupted, cutting me off mid-sentence. "I think I'm having an epiphany."
I silently berated myself while I waited for her to tell me what it was that this conversation had helped her understand. How could I have done this to her? She'd been in so much pain that she'd tried to hold on to me by nearly ending her life. The fact that she was still alive was extraordinary; a sign that she should stay human, I was sure of it. Had she decided the same thing?
"Oh!" she exclaimed finally.
"Bella?" I urged, unable to take the suspense any longer.
"Oh, okay…I see," she said, nodding to herself.
"Your epiphany?" I begged.
"You love me," she said in apparent amazement.
"Truly I do," I answered with a smile. Her face was alight with a fevered happiness that I had never seen before. And an instant later I had an epiphany of my own.
She finally understood and so did I.
Bella was perfectly sane; it was our love that defied all rational thought, not her. Our connection to each other was extraordinary and unbreakable. It went against the laws of nature, of logic and age and reason. It was perfect…a miracle.
Our love was powerful enough to try to force us both to see a truth we'd been denying for the last half year. And the truth was we couldn't survive without each other. I'd seen signs everywhere; messages from some higher power begging me to go back and she'd heard me in her mind as a voice of concern and caution that pled with her to understand how essential she was to my existence.
Fate had been trying to push us back together the whole time we were apart. I would never fight fate again, whether I had a soul or not.
An instant later, I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her with even more passion than I had in her room an hour before. I felt her heart racing beneath her chest and the rise of her body temperature as I stroked her face with my fingers and her lips with my tongue. My breathing was ragged and my hands were shaking when I finally forced myself to pull back before I got too carried away. I rested my cold forehead on her hot one and tried to catch my breath.
I really wanted to get carried away.
"You were better at it than I was, you know," I panted, shifting a little to adjust my slacks before she had the chance to notice; one of the advantages of vampire speed.
"Better at what?" she asked in a breathless whisper. Her heart was still pounding.
"Surviving," I replied. "You at least made an effort; you got up in the morning and tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life. When I wasn't tracking I was…."
I paused, feeling needlessly embarrassed. Bella and I had already made ourselves completely vulnerable to each other tonight. What would be the point of holding back now? She should know that I had no right to judge her, nor would I.
"….totally useless," I went on. "I couldn't be around my family…I couldn't be around anyone. I'm embarrassed to say that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me." I smiled sadly and if I were capable of blushing I would have turned tomato red. "It was much more pathetic than hearing voices, and you know I do that too."
I saw the intense relief on her face as I said this. She'd been worried about what I would think of her confession.
"I only heard one voice," she contradicted with a smile. I couldn't help but laugh. We were quite the pair, Bella and I. I wrapped my arms around her and we continued to walk toward the house.
"I'm just humoring you with this," I warned her, gesturing through the trees toward home as I led her through the trees. "It doesn't matter in the slightest what they say."
I knew she was going to be angry with me, so I thought I might as well speak up before we were surrounded by my family. I had already made up my mind; regardless of what Alice and Bella thought, I had no intention of allowing Bella's transformation plans to be decided by some ridiculous vote influenced by scare tactics. This wasn't an election and Bella's fate would not be dictated by Aro and his minions.
"This affects them now, too," Bella argued, frowning slightly at me. I shrugged. I wasn't going to discuss the matter further.
I led her up the front porch steps and opened the front door. The entryway was dark now; everyone was already waiting for us. Alice had told them we were coming and Bella wanted to meet with the whole family, but she hadn't explained why. They were all curiously expectant as we walked into the house.
I turned on the lights in the front room, and Bella squinted as her eyes adjusted to the change. She looked around the room, taking in the familiar sight with eager eyes. Everything was just as it was the last time she was here; she seemed surprised. I supposed she'd though we emptied the place before we left. I called out the names of all of my family one by one and I heard their whisper quiet movements as they responded. Carlisle was the first to greet us; he was pleased to see us both.
"Welcome back, Bella," Carlisle said, surprising her. His movements were too fast for her to see and she wasn't expecting to find him standing next to her. "What can we do for you this morning? He asked.
I can see that she's forgiven you already…that was fast. But, I knew she would. She loves you, and I'm glad to see you together. He added mentally.
"I imagine, given the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?" Carlisle continued when Bella didn't answer him right away.
"I'd like to talk to everyone at once if that's okay," Bella replied with a nod. "About something important." She added. She looked over at me as though she was waiting for my protests to begin, but I didn't say anything. Carlisle was also studying my expression.
You look upset so I can only assume this has to do with her future plans to become one of us, Carlisle thought at me. His eyes met mine and I nodded so subtly that Bella didn't notice.
"Of course," Carlisle replied aloud to Bella's request. "Why don't we all talk in the other room."
We followed him wordlessly into the large dining room that we used strictly for family meetings. Esme's antique dining room table for eight would have been wasted otherwise. I pulled out a chair for Bella and took the seat beside her as the others entered one by one and took their usual places.
Every chair is filled now! Our family is complete and together again! Esme thought, beaming at me as she sat down beside Carlisle.
Bella's first family meeting, huh Edward…and she called it herself and everything! This should be fun. Emmett added silently, smiling at me before he gave Bella an inquisitive look.
What are you so upset about, Edward? Jasper thought, staring at Bella with curious eyes. Surely you're not mad at her already. She's anxious too…Aha! I bet I know what this is all about. No wonder Alice is so excited.
I told you she'd forgive you, Rosalie thought as she smiled slightly at Bella. The change in her attitude was nice, but I was too upset over the subject at hand to really appreciate it.
Yay! Alice thought excitedly as she gave Bella a knowing smile. It's about time we worked out the details. I told you this would happen, Edward. You can't stop it. I'm going to have to get Jazz to calm you down if you don't relax and I really don't want to. He's feeling a little worn down from everything that's happened over the last few days.
I glared at her, and she suddenly started reciting the names of Foo Fighters songs in alphabetical order to keep me out of her head. She was hiding something from me.
"The floor is yours," Carlisle said to Bella with a nod after everyone had settled in.
Bella gulped, looking nervously around the room and I took her hand automatically. I could feel her turn her gaze toward me, but I was too preoccupied with trying to read the others to meet her eyes. Their thoughts were all expectant, but only Carlisle, Alice and Jasper seemed to understand what Bella wanted.
"Well," Bella said in a nervous but clear voice. "I'm hoping that Alice has already told you about everything that happened in Volterra?" she asked.
"Everything," Alice affirmed with a smile.
Including our chat about changing her Alice added mentally to me.
"And on the way?" Bella prodded her, asking the question Alice had just answered for me.
"That, too," Alice replied with a nod.
"Good," Bella said with a small sigh, relaxing a little. "Then we're all on the same page."
I looked around at the others as comprehension echoed in Rosalie, Emmett and Esme's minds at the same time. We were indeed all on the same page now, as Bella put it.
No wonder Edward's pissed, Emmett thought, smiling a little. Squirt wants to talk about Alice changing her. That's why Alice looks so smug!
You need to make her think this through, Edward. Rosalie mused urgently. Alice has her own agenda here.
Oh, Edward, please try to stay calm, Esme thought desperately. We just got you both back…please don't start a fight.
"So I have a problem," Bella continued after a brief pause.
I felt a terrible surge of guilt and anger. This was MY fault, not hers. And, it wasn't HER problem, it was OUR problem. Every single member of my family was thinking the same thing; none of us would leave Bella to face this alone. We would all fight for her.
"Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you," Bella continued. "They're going to send someone to check, and I'm sure that's a bad thing…something to avoid. So now this involves all of you. I'm sorry about that," she paused to take in the expressions of everyone sitting around the table. The look on her face was remorseful, and she had no right to feel any responsibility for this burden.
My face twisted in pain and before I could compose myself, Bella saw my expression. She didn't react to what she'd seen though; she was trying to stay focused.
"But I'm not going to force myself on you whether Alice is willing or not," Bella assured us.
I glared at Alice again. She'd been blocking me ever since the start of this conversation, but when her eyes met mine, she slipped for a moment. She was afraid to change Bella herself and she was hoping that Carlisle would consent to do it. She composed herself a half second later and I had no idea if she had seen what Carlisle would decide. I gritted my teeth.
Well, Bella's trying to be diplomatic, I'll give her that, Rosalie thought. But I won't support this anyway.
At least I had one person on my side.
Surely she doesn't think we don't want her, Esme thought loudly. She started to speak, but Bella silenced her with a gesture of her hand.
"Please let me finish," Bella interjected politely. "You all know what I want, and I'm sure you know what Edward thinks, too."
Jasper nodded toward me, thinking that Alice and I were feeling equally passionate in our opposing views on the subject.
We certainly do know what Edward thinks, Carlisle mused silently, smiling a little. I glowered at him.
Damn right we do, Emmett thought. You're just as stubborn as she is, bro.
"I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote," Bella went on. "If you decide you don't want me, then…" she gulped nervously again. "I guess I'll go back to Italy alone…I can't have them coming here." she frowned at the words.
I snarled angrily at her words. As if I would allow her to do that! As if any of us would let her face the Volturi alone, the others thought collectively, including Rosalie. Bella thought she was giving everyone a chance to make a fair choice, but my family was shocked that she would even entertain the idea of going back to Volterra.
"Taking into account then that I won't put any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire," Bella said evenly. She smiled slightly and acknowledged Carlisle.
I think changing her is probably for the best. Carlisle thought. It's what she wants, and the Volturi will act accordingly if we don't comply with their decree. We'll have to leave of course, but we're lucky they even offered the option. I've never known them to give anyone a chance like this.
"I have something to add before we vote," I said quickly before Carlisle could say yes. Beside me, Bella sighed in irritation but I ignored her.
"About the danger Bella's referring to," I continued. "I don't think we need to be overly anxious."
Alice nearly laughed out loud at the irony of my statement, since I was always overly anxious when it came to Bella. The others however were listening to me with open minds. I felt a surge of hope.
"You see," I said eagerly. "There was more than one reason I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of and I didn't want to clue them in." I smiled reassuringly at the group.
I find that hard to believe, Edward, Jasper thought. The Volturi are impeccably thorough.
"Which was?" Alice prodded me skeptically.
This had better be good; otherwise you aren't going to be able to convince Carlisle or Jasper. She added mentally.
"The Volturi are overconfident," I replied, hoping to address Jasper's silent concerns effectively as I tried to convince the others. "When they decide to find someone, it isn't really a problem." I looked over at Bella, who was eyeing me with the same level of doubt that Alice was.
"Do you remember Demetri?" I asked her patiently. I wanted to try to sway her as well. She shivered involuntarily; she would never forget Demetri. Her fear only strengthened my resolve. I wanted to ease her mind. She needed to know that I wasn't going to allow anyone to hurt her and she didn't have to choose this life out of fear.
"He finds people," I said, addressing the rest of my family again. "That's his talent…that's why they keep him around. Now, the whole time we were with them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetri's talent works."
"He's a tracker…a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does." I paused for a moment as I tried to find the right word to explain Demetri's formidable gift. "He catches the…flavor?" I don't know how to describe it…the tenor of someone's mind and then he follows that. It works over immense distances."
I see where you're going with this Edward and its nonsense! Alice thought emphatically, interrupting me for an infinitesimal moment. I ignored her pessimism.
"But after Aro's little experiments, well…" I shrugged, watching them as they absorbed the meaning of my words.
Bella was immune to Aro and Jane and you've inferred that Demetri wouldn't be able to find her. Carlisle thought, and he inclined his head slightly in my direction. I see your logic, but I'm not entirely convinced that it will work. Hmmm. He mused silently.
That's a really flimsy plan, Rosalie snarled silently at me.
I don't know about this Edward, Esme mused doubtfully, rubbing her chin as she considered my theory.
Guess you thought this up while she was asleep…real slick bro. Emmett thought, smiling a little at me.
I see, Jasper thought with a nod.
"You think he won't be able to find me," Bella said in an almost bored voice, summarizing the conclusion my entire family had reached.
"I'm sure of it," I answered confidently. The odds of turning this travesty of an election in my favor seemed to be improving a little. "He relies totally on that other sense. When it doesn't work with you, they'll all be blind."
"And how does that solve anything?" Bella asked irritably. Everyone understood where I was going with this, and I was sure she did, too but she wanted me to elaborate so she could find some weakness in my plan to exploit.
Good luck with that, love.
"Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell me when they are planning a visit and I'll hide you," I replied smugly. "They'll be helpless. It'll be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack."
Speaking of haystacks and straws, I think you're grasping at them, as they say, Carlisle thought humorously. I suppose you think running away with her sounds romantic. He added wordlessly.
Romantic? Hmmm…Carlisle was joking, but maybe I could make it that way. I was suddenly thinking of isolated and sunny places to take Bella… Isle Esme, perhaps? She would enjoy the beach.
"But they can find you," Bella argued with a frown.
"And I can take care of myself," I countered, stating the obvious. I could take care of her, too.
Yes! Emmett thought excitedly as he reached across the table with his fist. You could take him down if he did find you and then we'd be in the clear.
"Excellent plan, my brother," Emmett said aloud with his booming laugh. I reached over to bump fists with him in a cave man sort of way.
"No," Rosalie said angrily through gritted teeth.
Even if they can't find you they'll find the rest of us! Do you want to get us all killed? I don't think Bella should be changed either, but your plan is ridiculous! You're a fool! She added mentally, throwing insults at me.
"Absolutely not!" Bella replied angrily. She gave me a disgusted look. She was always worried about me, which was absurd.
"Nice," Jasper said appreciatively.
It would be easy enough to hide her since her appearance will change through the course of her life, and if Demetri finds you, your mind reading will give you the upper hand in a fight. He thought pensively.
"Idiots," Alice said with a sigh.
Your logic is pathetic, you know. She added mentally. They would find all of us eventually…and Bella doesn't want to be changed just because of them! She wants to be with you forever! Didn't you learn anything while you were gone?
Esme glared at me and the action was sufficient enough for everyone to see how she felt.
You can't put the whole family in danger like this! I won't support that! I love you all too much and this is what Bella wants. Esme said wordlessly to me.
Okay, so this has turned into men versus women…interesting. We were sort of split down the middle at the moment. But, I was happier with my chances now than I had been when we'd first arrived. Some of the stress I'd been feeling dissipated.
Bella sat up straighter in her chair; she was clearly frustrated with this turn of events. I smiled to myself.
"All right, then," Bella said stiffly as she tried to regain control of the situation. "Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider. Let's vote."
I assumed that Bella would start with Carlisle, so I was surprised when she turned her attention to me first.
"Do you want me to join your family?" she asked me in a cool, businesslike voice.
I heard the dual meaning in her words and my optimism evaporated. Was she giving me some kind of an ultimatum in front of everyone? I glared back at her.
"Not that way," I answered stiffly. "You're staying human."
Her expression was carefully composed as she gave me a small nod, but I saw the hurt flash in her eyes before she turned her attention to Alice. Damn it! Why did everything have to be so cut and dry with her?
"Alice?" Bella asked unnecessarily.
"Yes," Alice replied a half second later.
You're going to lose this fight, Edward. Don't you see how much it hurts her when you tell her no? This is her choice. She added silently.
I winced at Alice's below the belt jab. She knew the idea of hurting Bella was unbearable to me. But, this was too important! Bella's too young to throw her life away for me! What if she regretted it later? Hated me for it? I couldn't bear that! I would not make this concession.
"Jasper?" Bella asked, pulling me out of my reverie. I turned my attention to my brother and I was astonished at what I heard in his head.
I'm sorry, Edward, but I'm going to agree with Alice and Bella on this. He thought apologetically. This isn't about the Volturi…it's about what Bella wants, and it's what I want…Alice loves her, and so do I.
"Yes," Jasper said solemnly.
I saw a flicker of surprise on Bella's face for an instant. She had been expecting Jasper to side with me.
So had I.
"Rosalie?" Bella asked, turning her attention to my recently forgiven sister.
Rosalie sighed and bit her lip nervously. She was torn because of the Volturi and sad because she was going to have to undo the progress she'd just made with Bella less than 24 hours ago.
I can't agree to this. I know the Volturi will come looking for us, but I can't say yes. She's too young to know what she wants. She's making a mistake Rosalie thought darkly.
"No," Rosalie answered flatly. I felt grateful and sympathetic toward my sister.
Bella's face remained calm and controlled, but I knew her well enough to know that she was disappointed to say the least. She clearly thought that Rose's feelings for her were still just as contemptuous as they had always been. Bella nodded and started to move on to Emmett, but Rosalie held up a hand to stop her, desperate to explain herself.
"Let me explain," Rosalie begged sadly. Bella waited. "I don't mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister; it's just that…this isn't the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone to vote no for me."
If I hadn't have been dying anyway I would have hated Carlisle for changing me. She thought.
Bella nodded hesitantly and I could tell she didn't really understand what Rose was implying.
It was strange; Rose and I were nearly always on the opposite sides of everything. But for once, she understood me better than anyone else in this room. She looked at Bella and saw what I did; a young woman with her whole life ahead of her…a world of possibilities. Opportunities Rose had ached for… the life she'd grieved for. Bella had everything and she didn't realize it. Rose's motives were selfish, but she was right for once.
Two yeses and two nos; we were even for now.
"Emmett?" Bella asked without another word to Rosalie. Rose winced, but Bella was too caught up in her agenda to notice.
"Hell yes!" Emmett exclaimed at once. I suppressed a growl at his enthusiasm.
Traitor.
Sorry, kid, But it's for the best. Emmett thought. You'll be happier in the long run. She's tough! She'll make a helluva vampire. We'll have to leave to keep from fighting with the wolves, though.
"We can find another way to pick a fight with this Demetri," Emmett said aloud with a cheerful grin.
Bella's face puckered at Emmett's pronouncement but she didn't say anything else before moving on to my mother.
Esme was planning to side with Bella, but it was Carlisle's opinion that really mattered. If he said yes, then the others wouldn't raise any more objections and I wouldn't be able to either.
"Esme?" Bella asked tentatively.
"Yes, of course Bella," Esme answered sweetly. "I already think of you as part of my family."
She completes us all, Edward, not just you. She is my daughter and I want to keep her forever. Esme added wordlessly to me.
"Thank you, Esme," Bella replied thickly and I could tell she was deeply touched by my mother's words.
At last, Bella turned her attention to Carlisle. The anticipation in the air was almost palpable, and I could feel the increase in Bella's pulse as her nervousness reached a fevered pitch.
Carlisle turned to face me instead. I stared beseechingly at him, but the words in his head made me feel that same horrible hollow feeling in my limbs that I felt the day that Alice had her first vision of Bella as a vampire. A vision she'd had in this very room the day I'd saved Bella from Tyler Crowley's van.
"Edward," Carlisle began. He'd made up his mind.
"NO!" I snarled, seeing a red haze around the room in my anger. I wouldn't allow this! I couldn't let them destroy her life…her soul!
"It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle reasoned calmly as though we were discussing some sort of medical research project he was working on. "You've chosen not to live without her and that doesn't leave me a choice."
We've done this your way, son and it didn't work. You've tried being with her as a human, and she nearly died twice. Then you tried leaving her and it tore the whole family apart. She was nearly murdered by Victoria and she jumped off a cliff in our absence. And you tried to kill yourself. Being apart nearly destroyed both of you. He added silently in an attempt to reason with me. He wanted me to understand his logic, but I couldn't.
I jerked my hand out of Bella's and launched myself away from the big mahogany table in a split second. I thundered out of the room, my chest vibrating furiously with the growls that were emanating from my core. I slammed the dining room door behind me and stood against it for a moment, panting and listening to the rest of the conversation.
"I guess you know my vote," Carlisle said with a quiet sigh.
I'm truly sorry this is so hard for you, Edward. If I thought there was another reasonable course of action, I would have made a different choice. He thought.
"Thanks," Bella murmured to my father. That one little word from her obliterated the last particle of sanity and control I possessed. It was over; she was going to be damned.
The rage and pain that burned inside me exploded as I ran into the large, open sitting room. Before I really knew what I was doing, I grabbed the first thing within my reach and tore it away from whatever it was attached to. In an instant, Emmett's new TV was lying in pieces in the middle of the floor. I'd ripped it apart the way a child might tear a piece of paper out of a notebook. I heard Bella's chair shift as the deafening crash startled her.
Damn it, kid! Emmett shouted in his head as he heard the sound of his new toy being torn to smithereens. I'm going to strangle you.
The rest of his thoughts were disgusting swear words that I would never repeat.
"That's all I needed," Bella said in a rush, and I knew she was worried about me. "Thank you for wanting to keep me. I feel the same way about all of you."
The last sentence came out a little thick and muffled because she was getting emotional. I could smell the salt in the tears I was sure she was trying to blink away.
So much for making amends, Rosalie thought bitterly, misreading Bella's sentiments.
"Dearest Bella," Esme said softly and I heard her rise from her seat to embrace Bella.
She's such an angel. Edward deserves to spend eternity with her. She thought. I winced at the irony of her thought. She was willing to take the soul of someone she considered to be an angel.
"Well, Alice," Bella said a moment later. "Where do you want to do this?"
Edward! Alice shouted in my head. I saw the blind panic on her face through Jasper's worried eyes. I can't….I don't have the control yet!
"NO NO NO!" I screamed as I nearly ripped the door off its hinges to intercede. Before Bella could take a breath, I was towering over her. The fury that burned in every pore of my body made it very difficult to resist the mad desire to pick her up and run. But, I was too angry to touch her with the necessary care, and Carlisle placed a warning hand on my back. Jasper was trying to calm me down, but I was impervious to him at that moment.
"Are you insane! Have you utterly lost your mind?" I thundered, and my voice was so loud that she clamped her hands over her ears at the sound and flinched.
We have to try to talk her out of this. Alice said silently to me. I wanted to wring her little neck. She was to blame for a lot of this mess.
"Umm, Bella," Alice said nervously. "I don't think I'm ready for that…I'll need to prepare."
I didn't foresee her asking to make the change tonight! I didn't see anything happening until after graduation. I'm sorry. Alice added mentally.
"You promised," Bella interrupted, her chin jutting out in a familiar stubborn expression as she glowered at Alice.
"I know, but seriously Bella," Alice countered desperately. "I don't have any idea how not to kill you."
And I can't see what will happen if I try right now. She added wordlessly.
"You can do it," Bella said confidently as though she were giving Alice a pep talk before a sporting event. "I trust you."
The instinctive growls in my chest were so loud that the thick mahogany table vibrated from the force. She still had no sense of self-preservation. What the hell was I going to do with her?
Not now! It's too soon. Alice thought frantically, shaking her head with vigor. I wanted to kill her.
"Carlisle?" Bella called, looking over my shoulder toward him.
This is awfully sudden, but it might be best to go ahead. I have enough morphine on hand to sedate her…maybe we could keep the pain to a minimum and she would be asleep when I bit her. We'd need to leave before she woke up…otherwise the treaty would be broken and we'd have to fight with the wolves; perhaps we could go back to Ithaca….Carlisle mused.
I held out one hand to stop him from speaking and grabbed Bella's face with the other, forcing her to meet my eyes. I stared down at her intently, willing her to be reasonable, but I could see from her mulish expression that she would not be deterred.
"I am able to do it," Carlisle said, ignoring my gesture and speaking directly to Bella. "You would be in no danger or me losing control."
Enough, Edward! The decision has been made. He added silently
"Sounds good," Bella replied determinedly. Her voice was slightly muffled due to the way I was holding her chin.
My mind was racing, desperate for some means of trying to stop this, to delay her. I was sure she hadn't thought this through enough. Less than two hours ago she was convinced that I didn't love her and I was a figment of her sleeping imagination. She was not ready to make this choice.
"Hold on," I hissed through gritted teeth. I had to come up with something. "It doesn't have to be now."
"There's no reason for it not to be now," Bella grumbled stubbornly, her voice still distorted under my hand.
"Man, she's stubborn," Emmett muttered to Jasper in a voice that was too quiet for Bella to hear. "I'll bet she's too pig headed to even act like a real newborn when she's changed. She's a bigger control freak than Edward."
"I can think of a few," I grumbled to Bella in reply. I wasn't really sure exactly what I was going to say to deter her from having Carlisle change her tonight.
"Of course you can," Bella hissed back as I scrambled to come up with a good argument. "Now let go of me."
"How many of your Microsoft stock dividend checks would you be willing to wager on her self-control?" Jasper asked Emmett in a nearly inaudible whisper. Emmett gave him a number and they shook hands, sealing their bet.
I wanted to kill them both for taking this so lightly.
She knows what she wants, but she's not quite ready to leave Charlie yet. And if she vanishes tonight, I can't see what Charlie will do and I'm sure it's because Jacob Black and the rest of the wolves are involved. But I know Charlie would be heartbroken if she disappeared. Alice thought.
Yes, Charlie. The idea of hurting her father should slow Bella down.
"In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you," I said through gritted teeth. I thought of mentioning the werewolves, but the last thing I wanted was for Bella to start thinking about Jacob Black. "I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police." That was an understatement.
I already knew Charlie would have gotten a restraining order against me if he'd had time to plan it before we got back to Forks. If he thought I'd taken off somewhere with Bella, he'd be calling in every favor he was owed and every cop in Washington would be tracking us.
"All three of them," Bella retorted, but the insistence in her voice had waivered a little, and she frowned thoughtfully.
She was silent for a moment, clearly thinking about her parents and how her sudden and permanent disappearance would affect them. I used her pensive silence to my advantage.
"In the interest of remaining inconspicuous," I grumbled stiffly to Carlisle. My jaw was still tense with anxiety, but I had come up with a good counterpoint. "I suggest that we put this conversation off at the very least until Bella graduates from high school."
Carlisle nodded slightly. "That's a reasonable request, Bella," He agreed.
But you can't delay her forever, Edward. I will change her when the time is right. He added silently to me.
Bella waited for a moment before she answered.
"I'll consider it," she replied through pursed lips. She wasn't happy about the idea of waiting, but she could see the logic in postponing her change for at least a few weeks.
I sighed in relief, grateful that I'd won this small battle in spite of the fact that I had apparently lost the war. Maybe in the time between now and graduation, Bella would find some reason to change her mind or at least delay the change for a little bit longer. Was there some way that I might be able to slow her down further?
Then I saw a vision in Alice's mind; a brief flicker of the future that was just a half an hour away. Bella and I were in her little bedroom, lying side by side on her bed. I was asking her what she wanted more than anything in the world. And I had my answer in her response. I couldn't see any more of the conversation beyond her answer. What sort of terms would she be willing to accept to if I offered to grant her wish?
"I should probably get you home just in case Charlie wakes up early," I said seconds later in my desperation to get her out of here. Bella wouldn't have registered my pause and her back was turned to Alice.
"After graduation?" Bella asked Carlisle.
"You have my word," He replied. Bella gave a relieved sigh and she grinned at him.
"Okay, you can take me home," she said, still smiling. I winced at the triumphant look on her face.
Carlisle's image of Bella with cold, white marble skin and red eyes flashed in his mind again. A fierce longing rushed through me for an instant at the thought of having her with me forever. Disgusted with myself, I tried to shove that selfish notion to the very deepest, darkest part of my mind at once. I wouldn't allow my profane wishes to influence me.
The others filed out into the living room, but I decided to take Bella out through the back door. She didn't need to see the results of my temper tantrum lying in the middle of the living room floor. Besides, Emmett was seeing red like an oversized, enraged bull, and I was afraid he would scare her. If I went into the living room right now, he would be ready to instigate a very physical fight. I could hear his mental fury as I led Bella outside and helped her onto my back.
I could feel the joy in Bella as we ran through the forest. My mind was racing with the implications of the choices that had been made this morning as the darkness slowly began to give way to dawn. How much time would she give me if I offered her what she wanted? I didn't think she'd consent to wait for long. However, I fully intended to ask for much more than she would be willing to give in an attempt to reach some sort of an agreement that would slow her down. I wanted to give her more time to change her mind before it was too late, and she wanted me to change her. According to Alice's brief and unexpected vision, she wanted that more than anything, and I was determined to use that to my advantage. But how?
What did I want more than anything?
Was there something I wanted more than to extend her human life?
Yes, I suddenly realized there was one thing.
The vision I'd had so many months ago of Bella in a beautiful white dress came flooding back to me as the trees around me blurred into the cool darkness. I could see her walking beside Charlie as I waited for her at the end of the aisle. It was the greatest desire of my silent heart. It always had been, even before my mind understood that I loved her. I'd had the same image in my mind the day I saved her from Tyler Crowley's van over a year ago. It was an image that pained me the then because I'd seen her with someone else, but now it was one of joy and elation because I was part of the mental picture.
I could hear the vague timbre of Charlie's disgruntled dreams as I climbed quickly into Bella's bedroom window. I sat her down on the bed and began to pace back and forth. I watched her carefully as I tried to think of the right thing to say. Should I ask her now, or was it too soon to even consider it? She would likely want a long engagement-assuming she said yes-would I get more time if I asked her to marry me? What if she told me no? Could I handle the rejection? I didn't really deserve a yes, but I wanted it badly.
Bella was staring intently at me with growing irritation on her face.
"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," she said abruptly, interrupting my nervous musings. Her expression was mistrustful and annoyed.
"Shh, I'm thinking," I said.
"Uhh," she grumbled in an exasperated tone as she threw her favorite old quilt over her face, hiding herself from my view.
I couldn't stand that; I had to be able to look at her, to discern her thoughts from her expressions. A fraction of a second later, I was on her bed and the blanket was only covering her from the chest down. Her hair had gotten even more disheveled from the covers and I smoothed it back away from her face.
"If you don't mind, I'd rather you didn't hide your face," I said quietly. "I've lived without it as long as I can stand. Now…." I hesitated for a moment, my nerves nearly getting the better of me. I kept my face smooth as I continued. "Tell me something."
She frowned at me for a moment before she replied, and the suspense was nearly unbearable.
"What?" she asked reluctantly with an apprehensive look on her face.
Now we were at the point in the conversation Alice had foreseen a flicker of earlier at the house. So, the question I asked was rhetorical since I knew the answer.
"If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?" I asked her succinctly.
She looked at me with a familiar, doubtful expression.
"You," she answered slowly. She was clearly confused about the direction of this exchange.
I shook my head quickly. I was ready to move on to the next portion of the conversation.
"Something you don't already have," I countered dismissively.
She frowned at me in a bemused way. Her forehead creased with a familiar, endearing frown. I waited for her answer, growing more impatient by the second even though I knew what she would say.
"I would want….Carlisle not to have to do it; I would want you to change me," She replied slowly. Her face was guarded, but I could see profound apprehension in her dark, expressive eyes. She was afraid to tell me this, especially after my reaction at the meeting. She watched me carefully for a moment, and her expression gradually changed from wary to surprised when I didn't lose my temper.
It was time to move on to the unknown.
"What would you be willing to trade for that?" I asked bluntly. My face was shrewd and thoughtful but my insides were churning nervously at the prospect of her answer to my proposal.
She gaped at me in astonishment. The look on her face would have made me laugh if it weren't for my extreme internal panic.
"Anything," she said eagerly after a half second's pause.
I suppressed the huge smile that was forming on my lips by pursing them. I was originally planning to ask her to wait two years, but based on her response, I decided to press my thin luck a bit further.
"Five years?" I asked nonchalantly without an ounce of hope of getting a yes.
Her face changed from eager surprise to horror and disappointment. Perhaps she would be more willing to accept my marriage proposal than I had anticipated.
"You said anything," I challenged her, trying to hide my amusement.
"Yes, but…you'll use the time to try to find a way out of it" she spluttered irritably. "I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human…for me at least…so, anything but that."
I frowned, thinking hard again. Was fear the driving force behind her desire to be changed? I wouldn't allow anyone to hurt her or pressure her into this life, no matter what my own ulterior motives might be.
"Three years?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't accept that offer either.
"No!" she hissed vehemently.
"Isn't it worth anything to you at all?" I asked, trying to get a reaction out of her. She was trying to keep her feelings from showing in her face, but I could tell that she really wanted me to be the one. I watched her carefully for a moment. I was sure she was getting ready to put her own offer on the table, and it would probably be something I wouldn't be willing to accept.
"I'll give you six months," she said finally.
Six months! That was worse than I had expected. I rolled my eyes at her.
"Not good enough," I chided.
"One year, then," she haggled grudgingly. "That's my limit."
I knew why she didn't want to go more than a year, but I thought her reasoning was absurd. Besides, I didn't really want her to give in to my time conditions; I wanted her to marry me, and I might get more time with an engagement.
"At least give me two," I argued, knowing she wouldn't. She had this issue with getting older, and the idea of being more than a couple of years older than me in the technical sense was repugnant to her. It was ridiculous, considering I was nearly a century older than her, but Bella had always had her own unique way of looking at things. And I loved her for it when it wasn't driving me crazy.
"No way," she replied stubbornly, and I bit back another smile. "Nineteen I'll do, but I'm not going anywhere near twenty. If you're staying in your teens forever, then so am I."
I paused for a moment, thinking hard about the way I wanted to word the hardest question I'd ever asked anyone in my century of life. I considered waiting for the perfect moment…I could plan to take her out to dinner…or a picnic lunch in our meadow. But, those kinds of romantic gestures had never appealed to Bella, and if I made a big deal out of it and she rejected me, I would be all the more devastated than if she told me no here. I swallowed hard.
"All right," I said quietly. "Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one…then you'll just have to meet one condition."
"Condition?" Bella repeated coolly. Her voice was even but I could see the apprehension in her beautiful eyes. I stared at her intently, studying her face. It was now or never, I decided abruptly.
"Marry me first," I said in a measured whisper. I tried to keep my voice steady but the emotion was nearly choking me. My throat was thick with it.
She stared at me in disbelief, apparently waiting for me to say something else. What more could I say? Those three little words were the most profound thing I'd ever said…much more difficult and frightening than I love you had ever been. The suspense grew more painful with every silent second. I wished she would say something.
"Okay, what's the punch line?" She asked finally.
She thought I was joking!
"You're wounding my ego, Bella," I said with a sigh. I tried to hide how disappointed I was that she hadn't taken me seriously. I reminded myself that I had abandoned her for over a half a year and we'd been back together for less than 48 hours.
"I just proposed to you and you think it's a joke."
"Edward, please be serious," she implored and her voice almost sounded hurt.
Did she really think I would tease her about something so important? She finally understood that I loved her completely and irrevocably; wasn't marriage the next logical step in our relationship? It was certainly more logical than being transformed into a vampire. And, according to laws written by fickle humans it was a lot less permanent too.
"I am one hundred percent serious," I replied soberly as I stared unblinkingly at her.
"Oh, come on," she replied in a shaky voice. "I'm only eighteen."
That was my whole point about her being changed into a vampire. She was only eighteen years old. She needed time to be able to change her mind if she wished to do so. How was it that she could be so rational and analytical about some things and completely unorthodox and impulsive about others?
"Well, I'm nearly one hundred and ten," I reminded her in the hope that she would see this wasn't some teenage whim for me. "It's time I settled down." Of course, I was already permanently settled.
She bit her lip and looked away from me, staring unseeingly out of her bedroom window. I waited. I was desperate to know what she was thinking, but I had to be patient. I knew Bella would never just say yes to my request on impulse, but I hoped she was considering my offer at least.
I wanted Bella to be my wife. I needed her to belong to me in every way…to be mine completely. It probably seemed old fashioned to her, but I was a product of the culture I grew up in.
"Look," she said at last, meeting my eyes again. Was she getting ready to tactfully tell me no? I held my breath. "Marriage isn't exactly high on my list of priorities, you know?"
No, I didn't, though I guess I should have.
"It was sort of the kiss of death for Renee and Charlie." She finished lamely, biting her lip in a fit of nerves.
"Interesting choice of words," I replied acidly.
"You know what I mean," she said irritably, and to an extent, I did.
Bella was a product of her culture, too; a child of divorce. She'd been too young when her parents separated to even remember what life was like when they were together. Still, her trepidation was insanely bizarre when compared with the life altering (or ending) choice she'd made less than two hours ago.
"Please don't tell me you're afraid of the commitment," I answered her in a skeptical tone.
"That's not it exactly," she stammered reluctantly. "I'm…afraid of Renee. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you're thirty."
She was worried about what her mother thought? The mother she'd described to me as irresponsible, impulsive and co-dependent? Bella loved her mother deeply but she knew Renee wasn't great at giving advice about relationships or any other adult issue. This didn't make sense.
"Because she'd rather you became one of the eternally damned than get married," I countered with a humorless laugh. There was more to her reluctance, I was sure she wasn't being totally forthright with me.
"You think you're joking," Bella replied severely.
"Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire…" I paused, shaking my head at her in exasperation. I was baffled by her twisted, illogical desire to become immortal versus her fear of being my wife. I wanted to marry her so much, and I wasn't ready to give up yet.
"If you're not brave enough to marry me…" I continued in a goading tone. To my surprise, she interrupted me.
"Well, what if I did?" she asked curiously. "What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?" She was bluffing, thinking that I would back down if I had to change her in three days.
She was mistaken.
I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I answered. "Sure," I said eagerly. "I'll get my car."
"Damn it," she cursed under her breath. "I'll give you 18 months."
This was an about face; seven minutes ago she'd told me a year was her limit because she wanted to stay in her teens. This marriage proposal had proved to be a powerful bargaining tool. She was willing to give me the time that I wanted, but at a price that was breaking my heart.
"No deal," I said, smiling deceptively. "I like this condition."
"Fine," she said mulishly. "I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate."
I felt my insides twist painfully. She'd said she'd do anything to have me change her…anything but commit to me, apparently.
"If that's what you really want," I replied, smiling and calling her bluff again. I knew she really did want me to do it but I wasn't going to give her what she wanted until she was my wife.
"You're impossible," she grumbled irritably. "A monster."
I snorted. Of all the things I'd done to her that would warrant that moniker, she uses it because I proposed to her.
"Is that why you won't marry me?" I asked, hiding my wish for an honest answer with a teasing demeanor.
She moaned in a half amused, half annoyed way.
I looked into her deep brown eyes and the longing I felt for her stole every ounce of oxygen from my lungs. Her expression changed from chagrined to that oddly blank and distracted look she sometimes gave me when I dazzled her.
"Please Bella," I begged, taking a deep breath of unnecessary air.
Her breathing stopped altogether as she stared into my desperate face. I was just about to remind her to breathe when she inhaled loudly and shook her head. I sighed sadly, but it was too quiet for her to hear.
"Would this have gone better if I'd had time to get a ring?" I asked her, knowing that she wouldn't want me to spend any money on her. But, I had a solution for that conundrum should she decide to tell me yes someday.
"No!" she said much too loudly. "No rings!"
Bella's voice had awakened Charlie as completely and abruptly as if she'd fired his police revolver. His thoughts were clearer than usual as he bolted out of bed. I could pick out some distinct words.
Oh God, please…not the nightmares…if he's got her all torn up again…
"Now you've done it," I whispered sadly as the guilt and shame burned me like acid. I had no right to feel hurt at her rejection of my proposal. Her father's anxiety reminded me of the hell I'd put her through.
'I still hear her screaming in her sleep,' Charlie had told Alice.
"Oops," Bella murmured apologetically.
"Charlie's getting up; I'd better leave," I said miserably.
Her face twisted into an expression of terror and anguish and her heart skipped several beats. Her reaction made the guilt and pain I felt so intense that I could barely speak to reassure her.
"Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?" I asked her quickly. Charlie would enter the room in 11 seconds.
"No," she whispered eagerly. "Stay, please."
I grinned at her response, feeling reassured that she wanted me to stay. That would have to be enough of a commitment for now.