Happy New Year! I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and I wish you all the best in 2011. This chapter has several things in it that were not in New Moon, including a hunting trip with Edward, Emmett and Jasper that I initially cut. When I went back to re-read and post the story here, I decided to add the scene back in to the chapter. It isn't in the version on Twilighted, though I did post it as an extra there.
PS: If you're reading Dark Matter, I posted a teaser for the upcoming chapter to TwiMuses Please me Tease Me Friday. You can see it on their blog.
I'd like to say a special thanks to RedSock for all the love and support she has shown to my writing. I appreciate you so much.
Chapter 17 Domino Effect
I heard Bella's bedroom door creak open seconds later, and I watched through a crack in the closet door as Charlie entered the room. Through the darkness, I could see the worry on his face. I saw her shift her gaze to greet him as he approached her bed.
"Morning, Dad," she said in an offhand voice.
Charlie's expression changed from anxious to slightly embarrassed surprise at her greeting.
"Oh, hey Bella," he said sheepishly. He knew that Bella didn't like to be coddled and he didn't want her to think he was hovering. "I didn't know you were awake."
"Yeah, I've just been waiting for you to get up so I could take a shower," she replied, throwing her blanket aside and starting to get out of bed.
His thoughts were slightly opaque again, but the worry he'd been feeling was changing to anger as he registered the serene look on Bella's face. He couldn't believe that she thought he would let her off the hook that easily.
"Hold on," Charlie said irritably as he turned on the light with a flourish. Bella squinted as her eyes tried to adjust to the new brightness and I heard her heart speed up uneasily. "Let's talk for a minute first." The quality of his thoughts were getting more agitated by the second as he pondered what kind of an explanation she would have for him.
Bella winced in reply. I felt a stab of guilt at the prospect of her having to face her father's interrogations alone. I wished that I could support her now. It was my fault she was in trouble and I couldn't even help her get out of it. I should have asked Alice to come up with some kind of story to explain Bella's disappearance but I had totally forgotten to do so.
"You know you're in trouble," Charlie said, his eyebrows raised in an expectant expression. His thoughts came through clearly as he waited for her reply.
And I know this is Cullen's fault but I'm still going to punish you. He thought. I winced.
"Yeah, I know," Bella replied. Her voice was even, but she was twisting her hands in her lap. Charlie didn't notice the gesture, and he misinterpreted the forced calm in her tone as indifference and the hurt and anger he was feeling came out in a rush.
"I just about went crazy these last few days," he hissed. "I come home from Harry's FUNERAL and you're gone! Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen and he thought you were in trouble."
And Jake was a mess, too. Charlie thought forcefully. I could see an image in his head of the brooding Quileute boy with red rimmed swollen eyes and I grimaced again.
"You didn't leave a number and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or...when or...if...you were coming back! Do you have any idea how...how..." Charlie faltered and his voice thick with emotion. He turned his head to hide his suddenly too-glossy eyes from Bella. I could read his memory of the terrified panic he'd experienced during her absence.
How much damage could one person do? I wondered. As the conversation continued, I knew it was the wrong question to ask myself.
Bella's face twisted with guilt at his words, but Charlie was too busy trying to regain his composure to notice.
She never would have done this on her own! How does Cullen manage to bring out the worst in her? I have to keep her away from him...keep her safe. He thought emphatically.
"Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?" Charlie snarled angrily after he'd managed to blink away the moisture in his eyes.
He'd been hoping for some degree of remorseful pleading from Bella, but he'd said the wrong thing. Bella's eyes narrowed angrily at his tactics. She stiffened and straightened up in the bed.
"Because I won't go," she said, her chin jutting out stubbornly.
Charlie's pulse accelerated rapidly as a result of the upsurge in his anger. The more frustrated he became, the easier it was for me to hear his mind.
I knew she wouldn't want to go back to Renee; she refused to leave after he'd gone... I hope he isn't staying, but God help me I don't want her to be like she was before when he left. He thought.
"Now just one minute, young lady..." He began, seething now.
"Look, Dad," Bella interrupted him in a softer tone. "I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out too...but that won't make me go to Florida." I could hear the rapid fluttering of her heart in spite of the matter of fact tone in her voice.
Charlie's face turned cherry red an instant later.
She must think that the Cullens will take her in if she leaves here. Does she think she's going to LA with them or are they coming back here? I'll be damned if I let her go anywhere with him. I want to know how and why he got her to run away from home again. Charlie thought angrily.
He took several deep breaths before he could calm down enough to answer her. He was furious at the idea that she might be considering moving somewhere with me. I didn't blame him one bit.
"Would you like to explain to me where you've been?" He asked her through clenched teeth.
Bella's expression was suddenly full of panic as she scrambled for some sort of excuse to give her father. She couldn't lie to save her own life and telling him the truth was impossible. My remorse intensified at the look on her face.
"There was...an emergency," Bella answered lamely.
That was certainly the truth.
Charlie raised his eyebrows at her. His thoughts were skeptical and expectant as he waited for the lie. He knew she wasn't going to give him the whole truth. Maybe she would be able to construct an alibi out of threads of the real story.
"I don't know what to tell you, Dad," Bella continued after taking a deep breath.
Well, that was also the truth, but it wasn't an explanation.
"It was mostly a misunderstanding; he said, she said. It got out of hand." Bella went on lamely.
Charlie continued to glare skeptically at Bella. He was wondering what kind of miscommunication could have taken three days without a phone call home to sort out.
"See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff..." Bella babbled wildly. I cringed. This was going to be really bad. Perhaps Alice would see just how terribly wrong this conversation was going and turn up here to intercede on Bella's behalf.
Charlie's face twisted into a horrified expression that wasn't nearly as severe as the terror in his thoughts.
Cliff! Dr. Gerandy told me back in the fall that she was probably suicidal, but I thought she was over that! I should've made her take the antidepressants he prescribed. And I've been keeping my gun loaded again ever since that thing with the wolves.
An image of Bella with a blank, lifeless expression on her pallid face swam to the forefront of Charlie's mind as he recalled a conversation with Dr. Gerandy about his recommendation that Charlie admit Bella to a mental health facility in Portland a few days after I'd left. I sank swiftly and silently to my knees in the closet floor at this new piece of information. Charlie hadn't mentioned that part to Alice. How could I even try to make up for what she'd suffered?
"I guess I didn't tell you about that part," Bella croaked, realizing what she'd said far too late to undo the damage. "It was nothing, just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn't answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to...LA to explain."
"Were you trying to kill yourself, Bella," Charlie asked her in a broken whisper. His face had gone from being red and furious to an anguished alabaster.
"No of course not," Bella said in a reassuring voice. I could tell she believed what she was saying, at least. But, I wasn't sure that I did and neither was Charlie. "Just having fun with Jake...cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing."
I suppressed a growl at the reminder of Jacob Black being an inspiration for another incident of Bella's reckless behavior. I was sure that "the La Push kids" really meant "arrogant, smelly werewolves with no common sense."
Charlie's facial expression changed from frozen fear to raging fury again.
That doesn't make any sense! He has no right to involve himself in her life after what he did! Charlie thought bitterly.
"What's it to Edward Cullen anyway?" He roared angrily. "All this time he leaves you dangling without a word..."
"Another misunderstanding," Bella interjected before her father could lose his temper completely. She probably didn't want to hear the diatribe Charlie would unleash against me even though she knew I would hear it in his head.
Another misunderstanding, my ass...six months without a word is not a misunderstanding...leaving her in the woods to get lost in the dark is not a misunderstanding. She could have died that night, and she might have if Sam hadn't found her. Charlie thought darkly. He shuddered.
What did he mean? I'd left her on the trail...
"So, is he back then?" Charlie snarled, his face growing ruddy again.
"I'm not sure what the exact plan is; I think they all are," Bella replied with a slight shrug. She knew we were staying, of course, but if she'd sounded too sure to Charlie it would have led to more questions than she was prepared to answer at the moment.
Charlie's hands balled up into fists and he shook his head furiously at her response. His thoughts were a snarled tangle of rage.
"I want you to stay away from him, Bella," He growled. "I don't trust him. He's rotten for you and I won't let him mess you up like that again."
Why did he have to show up now! She was just starting to heal some. She'd been sleeping through the night more than half the time now. A setback might be more than either of us can take. He brooded.
Another horrible image flashed vividly into his usually clouded mind. He was remembering waking up to the sound of Bella screaming for me in her sleep, punctuated by her sobbing. He'd cried too, and had nightmares of his own about finding her dead.
It was then that I realized just how much Charlie Swan hated me. He hated me more powerfully than he had ever despised anything or anyone in his life, and yet I deserved much more. Charlie had been far too easy on me yesterday.
"Fine," Bella replied mulishly, her jaw set.
Charlie staggered a little, and a wave of relief washed through him as he misconstrued her response. "Oh," he said after a moment's pause. His face was colored with surprise.
That wasn't what I expected, especially after the way she was holding on to him when he brought her back. Maybe there's more to her relationship with Jake than I realized after all. He's so good for her.
I felt a jolt of unexpected anger at Charlie's thoughts of Jacob Black. Hadn't Bella just confessed to jumping off a cliff because he and his friends had done it? I certainly didn't deserve Bella, but the dog wasn't so perfect either.
"I thought you were going to be difficult," Charlie continued.
"I am," Bella said coolly, her brown eyes boring into her father's identical ones. "I meant, fine, I'll move out."
Charlie's hope evaporated and his heart thudded furiously against his ribs. He marveled at her willingness to forgive me, wondering what kind of crazy hold I had on her, and why she would waste her time on a boy who didn't deserve her.
I had often wondered the same thing.
Bella studied Charlie's face for a moment. Her determination wavered and shifted to anxiety as she registered the stress on her father's face.
"Dad, I don't want to move out," She said soothingly, her eyes soft. "I love you. I know you're worried, but you have to trust me on this. And, you're going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?"
How can she ask me to trust her when it comes to him? He's the only reason she's ever been in any trouble or danger. I could trust her on anything else, but not Edward Cullen. He nearly killed her. Charlie thought angrily.
I winced again at his thoughts. I'd done a colossal amount of damage to a lot of people's lives with the choice I made back in September, and I didn't deserve anyone's forgiveness for that, especially not Bella's. But here she was, giving her father an ultimatum for me. I really felt bad for Charlie.
"That's not fair, Bella," Charlie argued, his forehead wrinkled just like his daughter's sometimes did when she was displeased. 'You know I want you to stay."
"Then be nice to Edward, because he's going to be where I am," Bella interjected confidently.
I had to smile a little at the certainty in her tone. She finally understood that I loved her, and I was grateful for the epiphany we'd both had earlier.
Charlie seemed to swell with the indignation that filled him at her words.
No! How can she trust him to stay after the cruel way he just left her?
His thoughts made my insides twist. How would she ever totally trust me again?
"Not under my roof," Charlie yelled.
She's lucky she didn't die that night...she spent at least 8 hours in the rain out in the woods...her body temperature had dropped to 92 degrees...he thought.
And then I saw it in his head; the images of a search party calling for Bella in the dark forest behind Charlie's house...Charlie clenching the forged note I'd written...
She must have tried to follow me. Alice had seen a flash of her wandering in the forest when she picked me up, but I had no idea she'd get lost. She'd been missing for hours in the cold September rain when the Quileute wolves found her.
What kind of a man leaves the woman he loves alone and defenseless in the wilderness?
Monster! I thought to myself as regret and agony washed through me.
I owed the wolves an even greater debt than I realized.
Bella's loud sigh redirected my attention back to the conversation at hand.
"Look, I'm not going to give you any more ultimatums tonight...or I guess it's this morning," Bella mused. "Just think about it for a few days, okay? But, keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal."
"Bella..." Charlie started to argue. He was furious and he had no intention of backing down. I hated that she was fighting with him because of me.
I didn't blame him. How much more would he hate me if he knew what I really was?
"Think it over," Bella interrupted relentlessly. "And while you're doing that, could you give me some privacy? I really need a shower."
Charlie's complexion was now a strange shade of violet from his anger. But he didn't protest further before he slammed the door and left. He decided that if he pressed Bella too hard, she might actually make good on her threats and try to move out. She was stubborn enough to do just that, and if he wanted to keep her safe from me he needed to try to keep her here.
The instant that he was out the door, I moved with inhuman speed to sit in the rocking chair across the room from her bed.
"Sorry about that," Bella said softly as she got out of the bed.
She was actually apologizing to me!
"It's not as if I don't deserve far worse," I whispered bitterly, thinking of all the new and horrible information I'd gleaned from Charlie. There were no words to describe the kind of punishment I deserved for what I'd done to her. "Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please."
"Don't worry about it," she replied softly as she rifled through her closet for a change of clothes.
I watched her moving around the room, feeling guilty as I thought of all the things she'd sacrificed for me.
"I will start just as exactly as much as is necessary and no more than that," She went on as she threw a pair of jeans and a royal blue long sleeved t-shirt over her forearm. "Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?" She raised her eyebrows at me in a sarcastic gesture.
I couldn't help but smile at the look on her face. "You'd move into a house full of vampires?" I asked rhetorically. Of course she would do just that.
"That's probably the safest place for someone like me," she replied lightly, and I hated to admit it, but she was probably right given the circumstances. "Besides..." she went on with a smile. "If Charlie kicks me out, then there's no need to wait for the graduation deadline."
I bit back a snarl at her words, my teeth clenching in fury.
"So eager for eternal damnation," I grumbled angrily. I knew she wasn't ready for that permanent change like she thought she was.
"You know you don't really believe that," she said abruptly.
Was she going to try to start the whole philosophical debate over my soul again? She knew what I thought about that!
"Oh, don't I?" I countered angrily.
"No, you don't," She replied in a matter of fact tone, her mouth twitching as she suppressed a grin.
I glared angrily at her. There was nothing funny about the subject at hand.
"If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have immediately realized what was happening instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't...you said 'Amazing! Carlisle was right!'"
Her voice was smug, and I was astonished by this unexpected observation.
"There is hope in you after all," she reasoned.
I was speechless because I realized she was right. Bella had given me hope.
"So, let's just both be hopeful, all right," she said as she started toward the door. "If you stay, I don't need heaven."
I stared at her with shock and awe on my face as the love I felt for her swelled and rushed through me more powerfully than anything I'd ever experienced. I got up from the chair and approached her, cupping her face in my hands.
"Forever," I promised her in a whisper, yielding for a moment to the deepest wish in my heart. I was astonished at her logic.
"That's all I'm asking for," she replied softly as she reached up to kiss me before she left the room to prepare for the day ahead.
I'm really going to have to learn to cook, I thought to myself as I rummaged around Charlie's tiny kitchen. The chief had dressed quickly and left for work right after his conversation with Bella. I came downstairs as soon as he was gone to start my task. I heard the sound of Bella humming tunelessly under a stream of warm water as I skimmed through a battered cookbook, trying to find what I needed. I worked at my usual lightning pace, beating the eggs and adding the prescribed ingredients. Human food was repulsive, but Bella needed to eat and I wanted to make sure she had a healthy breakfast. She was too thin and it had been days since she'd had a proper meal. I was waiting for her in her room with a large tray of food when she returned, her long hair freshly brushed and dried. The royal blue shirt she wore was the perfect shade against her skin. She was so beautiful.
"What's all this?" she asked with a smile as she took in the plate of scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon, toast and juice.
"Breakfast in bed for the human," I answered with a smile as I carried her back to her little bed and sat the tray down in front of her in one swift movement.
"Thanks, I'm starving," she said as she took a bite of toast.
I watched her intently as she ate nearly everything on the plate. I'd never seen her eat with such gusto, so I must have done something right. Either that or she was just too hungry to notice the taste.
"Charlie left you a note before he went to the station," I said, handing her a piece of notebook paper. She read it and groaned.
"He wants me to go to school and talk to my teachers about making up my work," she said with a sigh. "Great."
"I'll take you," I said. "Alice and I need to register anyway. Carlisle said he would talk to Mr. Green after he meets with the hospital board this morning. Alice already told him they would give him his old job back and a 7% pay raise."
"Do you think they'll excuse my absences without Charlie's help?" Bella wondered as she set the breakfast tray aside and got up.
"Probably not," I replied guiltily. "But maybe I can talk to Ms. Cope for you."
"By talk you mean charm her into doing whatever you want," Bella teased. "She thinks you're hot."
I laughed. "Yes, I know what she thinks." I tapped my forehead.
"Poor Ms. Cope," Bella chuckled. "I understand how she feels."
"Do you?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her warm waist and pulled her close. She sighed and leaned her head into my chest. It felt so natural; almost as though I'd never been gone.
Almost.
Carlisle called and told me that the school was expecting us at 11:30. Bella was supposed to meet with Mr. Greene while Alice and I filled out all of our paperwork with Ms. Cope. Carlisle said that Charlie agreed to allow Alice to drive her to campus, but he told the principal he wanted his conversation with Bella to be a private one. I felt terrible that she was going to have to talk to him alone just as she had with Charlie, but there was nothing I could do.
We arrived at the school 15 minutes early, and Ms. Cope greeted Alice and me with enthusiasm. However, she didn't extend the same courtesy to Bella.
"Welcome back, you two," Ms. Cope sang happily as she handed us a few forms to fill out. "Your father already sent your transcripts from Malibu High over, so you'll be all set to resume your schedules from last fall as soon as you complete these."
"Thank you," Alice and I replied in unison as we sat down with the papers. Ms. Cope smiled.
Oh my. I'd almost forgotten how handsome...stop right there, Shelly. She thought.
"Bella," she said in a cooler tone, turning her attention away from me. "Principal Greene will be with you shortly. You may wait in his office."
"Thanks," Bella muttered without meeting the receptionist's eyes.
I squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek before she let go and made her way down the hall to the principal's corner office. I felt a surge of anger when I heard what Ms. Cope was thinking, and I had to suppress the urge to break the window behind me.
Chief Swan said Edward and Alice Cullen were in on her disappearance, but I'll bet she started the whole thing. She's been troubled all year, and the Cullen children are so well behaved. Poor Charlie just can't see the girl must be like her mother. I remember what my mother said when he married that Renee...
Don't worry too much about Bella. Alice said silently as she filled in her course schedule information. She won't get to make up all of her work, but her GPA will be fine and Mr. Greene won't be too hard on her. She'll have detention for three days next week for the unexcused absences. Charlie got her excused for today...
I frowned at her without taking my eyes off the paper I was writing on. I was the villain in this story and Bella was being punished.
"Ms. Swan is waiting for you in your office, sir," Ms. Cope said when Mr. Greene walked in a moment later.
"Thank you, Shelly," he replied, nodding in mine and Alice's direction as we handed our paperwork back to the receptionist. "You two may go."
"We're waiting for Bella," I replied in the most polite voice I could manage. I was still angry over Ms. Cope's assumptions about Bella, and I felt terrible that I couldn't be in the principal's office to offer my support to her.
"That's fine, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Greene replied. "But Charlie Swan has already informed me that you are not permitted to leave the school grounds with her once classes resume."
"Yes, sir," I said with a wince. I had expected this, but it was still hard to hear. If Bella were my daughter I would have taken much more drastic actions than Charlie had.
I listened in on Bella's meeting with Mr. Greene while Alice entertained herself with a fashion magazine.
"Well, Ms. Swan," Mr. Greene said as he sat down behind his neat desk. "Your father tells me that you returned home yesterday morning and you were too tired from your trip to come to class today. Do you want to explain why you were absent the other three days?"
The story she told her father was pretty weak. Maybe she'll give me more information since I'm not her parent. He thought.
"Umm, there was an emergency," Bella began lamely. "Alice Cullen came to visit me over spring break and due to a...miscommunication between her and her sister Rosalie, Edward thought I was in trouble and he ran away from home. When we couldn't reach him on his cell phone, I went to LA with Alice to find him."
Mr. Greene nodded and sighed. "That is the same story your father told us," But I don't believe a word of it; she has to be lying. if Edward Cullen ran away from home then I'll eat my socks. He added mentally.
I had a brief fantasy about forcing him to do it.
"I am sure there are more details that you aren't sharing, Ms. Swan, but I won't ask you for more information since your father didn't divulge anything else," He continued. "I have spoken with your teachers, and Mr. Berty has agreed to allow you to make up the quiz you missed on Monday, and Mr. Banner says you can do the chemistry lab assignments from this week after school tomorrow."
Bella smiled and sighed with relief and I almost did too until I heard what Mr. Greene was going to say next.
"However," Mr. Greene said sternly. "Mr. Varner will not permit you to make up your Calculus exam. So, you will receive a zero for that test." He shuffled through a file in front of him with notes about Bella's grades in it before finishing.
"Fortunately, you had an A in the course before you missed the test, and so you will still be able to pass the class, but in order to get a C this quarter you will need to make A's on the next three quizzes and get full marks on your homework."
I tried to get him to give her a break, but he wouldn't. She's not a bad kid. Her father should have made her seek counseling last fall. He thought. I felt a little less contempt for him then.
Apparently, everyone had witnessed Bella's suffering in my absence.
"I will work really hard, sir," Bella assured him in an embarrassed voice. "I'm sorry."
"You will also have detention after school Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week," Mr. Greene said just as Alice had predicted. He didn't acknowledge Bella's apology. "One for each unexcused absence; and you will have additional work to complete during the course of your detentions, so you may not do homework."
Bella nodded, looking at her hands as they twisted in her lap. I would make sure her homework was done and she got the A's she needed if I had to do everything for her.
"I can tell that you feel remorse for your irresponsible behavior, Ms. Swan," Mr. Greene said in a gentler tone now. "And I sincerely hope you've learned your lesson. If you miss one more day of school without just cause, you could be expelled. Do you understand?"
Bella nodded again. I could see that her eyes were clouded over. She wasn't used to being in trouble at school.
"Very good," He said with a reciprocal nod as he stood and opened the door for her. "Edward and Alice Cullen are waiting outside for you. Please check in with Ms. Cope before you return to class tomorrow morning."
"Yes, sir," Bella said quietly as she got up and left.
"Charlie will be home early today to make sure you're behaving yourself," Alice said to Bella as we sat on Charlie's living room couch watching TV later that afternoon.
"Ugh," Bella grumbled from my lap. "How bad will Charlie be? I don't think can stand another lecture today." She looked anxiously over at me as she spoke, and I knew she wanted Alice to tell her whether or not Charlie would allow me to be here this evening.
"Edward will have to leave before he gets here, but I'll stay," Alice replied sagely. "Charlie won't let Edward in the house tonight because he'll want to talk to you alone after dinner, and tomorrow he'll insist that you spend the evening on your homework but he'll be able to visit Saturday evening after your shift at Newton's."
Bella looked anxiously over at me in response and I winced. She didn't want me out of her out of her sight and the feeling was mutual.
You need to hunt tomorrow night anyway Edward. I know her blood doesn't tempt you the way it used to, but I've never seen you this thirsty. Alice added mentally. I ignored her.
"Don't worry, love," I whispered as Bella pressed her face into my chest. I kissed her cheek and stroked her hair soothingly. "I'll be in your room waiting for you tonight and I'll stay tomorrow too regardless."
"I thought you were going on a hunting trip with Jasper and Emmett tomorrow after school," Alice interjected stubbornly. I glared at her.
I know this is hard for you and you just got back, but Emmett is still furious over his TV and if you don't go with him he'll be even angrier than he already is. She thought.
Bella tensed in my arms, but her face was smooth when she looked up at me.
"You should go with them," she said quietly as she traced the circles under my eyes.
I looked at her doubtfully and sighed. "If you want me to stay, I'll hunt close to home," I assured her. I really needed to hunt some big game and I couldn't get that nearby. I was too thirsty to be fully satiated by deer, but I would manage if she needed me.
"No," she insisted. "You need to go. You're starving and you haven't been with your family in months."
"Are you sure, Bella?" I asked her anxiously. "Really, I can manage; I'll stay..."
"I'm going to be up to my eyeballs catching up with my schoolwork for the next couple of days anyway," she interrupted with an unconvincing smile. "I'll be right here when you get back."
Just then, the sound of Charlie's cruiser reached my ears. He was still much too far away for Bella to notice, but he would be here in 3 minutes.
"Charlie will be here in 2 minutes and 47 seconds," Alice said. "Edward, you should go."
Carlisle wants to talk to you; he's missed you. She added silently.
Bella bit her lip and her forehead creased with worry for a second before she got to her feet.
"I'll miss you every second," I whispered as I embraced her.
"I know," Bella replied. Her voice was muffled because her face was pressed against my shoulder. "Just hurry back as soon as you can."
I kissed her hair, then her cheeks, unable to let her go.
"Okay, okay," Alice said, prizing Bella away from me. "1 minute and 10 seconds. Get out, Edward."
You two are going to be almost as bad as Rose and Emmett and that's saying something. She thought.
"So there's been no sign of her," I said as I paced Carlisle's study ten minutes later. Esme and Rosalie were hunting and Jasper and Emmett had gone to Portland to look at TV's to find a temporary replacement for the one I'd demolished so we had the house to ourselves.
"Jasper says the scent trail is nearly a week old," Carlisle replied. "Which means that she probably hasn't been in the area since Alice got here."
Perhaps Alice scared her off. Jasper thinks that's possible. She probably assumed we had all returned when Alice showed up at Bella's. She knew that she would be colossally outnumbered, especially since she surely knows Laurent is dead. I talked to Tanya and told her the news about him. She said they'd never met Victoria. He thought.
"Well, I hope those dogs don't chase her off before we get a chance to corner her," I snarled. "I want her."
"Does it really matter as long as Bella is out of harm's way, son?" Carlisle asked.
If the wolves have chased her away, she can't hurt Bella. He added silently.
"It shouldn't," I replied thoughtfully. Carlisle hated violence and he didn't really understand my desire to kill Victoria myself.
"We'll take care of Bella one way or the other," Carlisle said. "How is she?"
"She's fine," I answered with a frown. No thanks to me of course. I missed her so much it hurt. "Alice is still with her. Naturally, Charlie doesn't want me anywhere near her but I don't blame him."
"Don't be too hard on yourself," Carlisle said, patting me on the shoulder. "You were only trying to do the right thing when you left. Bella knows that and that's what matters."
She is still quite fragile, though. I'll be relieved when we don't have to worry so much about that any more. He thought, and I cringed.
"I know this life isn't the one you would have chosen for her," Carlisle said quietly. "But it's the one she chose for herself and you have to respect that. And, now that the Volturi know about her, there's really no other option."
"How long do you think it will be before they check?" I asked him.
"Aro is a very patient creature," Carlisle replied. "But Caius is not. I think it depends on whether or not Caius decides to wait for his brother to act. Given what Alice said about Aro's interest in your talents and his fascination with Bella, I don't think they will procrastinate."
I grimaced, and I knew that he was right.
"But worrying won't help," Carlisle went on pragmatically. "And I will change her after graduation just like I promised." He added.
"About that deadline..." I began
"I won't break my word to her, Edward," Carlisle interrupted sternly.
"I wasn't going to ask you to," I answered in a rush. "It's just that it may not be necessary for you to do it."
I know she didn't change her mind! Carlisle thought. What did you say to her last night?
"I told her I'd change her if she'd marry me." I blurted in answer to his silent question.
Carlisle laughed boisterously. "Congratulations! Does Alice know about this yet? You know she'll want to plan a big wedding or at least an engagement party..."
"Bella didn't..." I started as I averted my eyes from him and looked out the window wall of his study. "She didn't accept."
"Oh," Carlisle said and his face fell. It was too soon for her. He thought.
"Do you think that's the...only reason?" I asked him.
"Well, yes," Carlisle said with surprised sincerity. "She loves you, Edward. Give her time."
It's not as though you don't have time. He added wordlessly.
I can't believe they actually came back, Mike Newton thought as he glared at me through the windshield of his decrepit suburban the next morning at school. I hope Jessica wasn't serious about him and Bella getting back together. Her mom told her Bella ran away with him. Bella deserves better than Cullen. I'd rather she dated that gorilla from the reservation.
Actually, he's a dog, Newton, not a gorilla, I thought, laughing darkly.
"Thinking about how much you missed your friend Mike, Edward?" Alice chirped as I put the Volvo in park with a little too much force. "I'm sure you'll get to hear plenty of dirt about our return all day long. Pace yourself...it wouldn't do for you to waste all of your self-restraint in one blow and break his neck in English."
"Thanks for the unsolicited advice," I grumbled as we got out of the car. I could hear Bella's truck trundling up the street now. I would feel better once she was beside me. I tuned out all of the curious minds around me and waited for her.
"Hey," Bella said cheerfully as I held out my hand to her. Having her close to me was something I would never take for granted again. I smiled down at her, savoring the warmth of her hand until I was distracted by the mental mutterings of Jessica Stanley. Her thoughts toward Bella were even more vicious than the last time I'd been in her head and I had to fight the urge to rip her fuzzy hair out.
I told Mike she was back with him. I don't blame her. This is good for me...maybe Mike will finally get her out of his head and we can get back together. I don't know what he sees in her. I told him she was crazy...swore I'd never go out with her again after that terrible movie incident. Jessica thought, staring a hole through us as we walked to English.
The whispers, stares and salacious thoughts followed us all the way to our first class.
...Heard she took off to LA and Dr. Cullen had to stop them from eloping...
...I'll bet she's sleeping with him...that's the only thing that makes any sense...Jessica says she's a complete psycho and she's too skinny...she never eats...
...Pretty pathetic for her to forgive him for leaving her like that. She went nuts when he left. I heard Chief Swan had to give her drugs every day and she was seeing a shrink...
And on and on it went, all day long. It was one of the worst days I'd ever spent in school and that was saying something, considering I had graduated from high school 17 times.
"What is it?" Bella asked softly as we made our way to a table in the corner of the cafeteria at lunchtime.
"You should eat before your food gets cold," I said distractedly, gesturing down at a plate filled with overcooked french fries and a hamburger.
Bella glanced up and she registered the whispered conversation that Jessica Stanley was having with Katie Marshall and Lauren Mallory.
"Oh," she said with an understanding nod as she picked at her plate. "I'm sorry you have to hear all the stuff they're thinking."
"You have nothing to apologize for," I said through gritted teeth as Jessica's loud, crude thoughts about what Bella and I might have been doing while we were gone flitted through her vile head. "This is all my fault..."
"They'll find something new to talk about by the end of next week," Alice said cheerfully. "Next Thursday, Samantha Wells will find out Lauren went out with her boyfriend while she was in Santa Barbara for spring break. Oh, and speaking of trips, Jasper thinks you all should leave as soon as it starts to get dark this evening."
I felt Bella's pulse increase and her body tense beside me at Alice's words and I made up my mind.
"I'm not going," I said stubbornly.
"You need to hunt," Alice argued in a whisper that was barely audible to Bella, let alone the other humans in the room.
Bella will be fine, I promise. I'll stay in the area and keep an eye out for trouble. It won't be easy for her, but she'll be okay...it's inevitable that you'll have to leave her. She continued silently.
"I know I need to hunt," I hissed. "But I don't have to go all the way to Oregon to do it."
"You should go," Bella said determinedly. Her voice was calm, but her hands trembled. "I'll be fine, really."
I gave her a searching look just before the bell rang and I nodded reluctantly. Perhaps I could convince Jasper and Emmett to stay in Washington at least.
"Try to relax, Edward," Jasper said as we ran in the dark. The hunting preserve we were visiting wasn't open to humans this time of year so it was deserted.
We'd only been gone for an hour, but the further we got from Forks, the more difficult it became for me to breathe. I felt that same terrible emptiness and panic that had overwhelmed me during my unbearable separation from Bella.
Alice will take good care of Bella, Jasper thought as a wave of artificial calm washed over me.
Jasper's best efforts couldn't totally rid me of the all-consuming anxiety that radiated through my chest. With some effort, I took a deep, shaky breath and sighed wearily.
"I should've stayed home to hunt," I lamented for the 45th time since we'd left that evening. "Leaving her so soon was a mistake! What if she gets scared, or sick, or even worse, what if that stupid dog comes to visit her! Alice won't be able to see…"
"You know you're a complete psycho don't you?" Emmett interrupted in an unusually irritable voice as we picked up the scent of four mountain lions that were three miles away.
Starving yourself because you're afraid she'll catch a cold… you need professional help. He thought. He was still too furious about the broken TV to be his usual cheerful self.
"You can't afford to be around her like this anyway," Jasper reasoned. "You're too thirsty."
YOU could be the one to hurt her, He added mentally.
"That's not an issue anymore," I blurted dismissively without thinking. I regretted my hasty reply immediately when I heard my brothers' thoughts. They were expecting an explanation, and I wasn't prepared to talk about the reason for the change in my appetite. It was too painful to relive the horror.
"What do you mean?" Emmett asked impatiently when I didn't elaborate.
"I've developed an…immunity to her," I said finally.
"An immunity?" Emmett repeated with a frown.
Jasper was feeling just as confused as he tried to gage my mood.
"Her blood no longer appeals to me in that way," I answered carefully. This was going to be very difficult to explain without revisiting my recent trauma. "My instincts have changed."
"Instincts don't change," Emmett countered. "We are what we are and she smells like heaven to you, or at least she used to. Did her scent change?"
I shook my head. "She still smells exactly the same, but the way I feel has changed. I can't think about her that way anymore."
Well if that's true, at least something good came out of what happened. Emmett thought. But getting all emo doesn't mean you're off the hook over my TV. You owe me big, kid. Emmett shook his head angrily at the memory of his toy lying in pieces in the living room as he sprang at the big cat.
"I can feel that you really mean that," Jasper marveled. "The thought of consuming her blood makes you feel physically ill. But, why? How?"
"I thought she was dead," I said in a choked whisper as we spotted the other lions. "The agony of that loss altered me forever. I could never endure it again."
"I'm sorry," Jasper replied just before he sprang at one of the large cats drinking from a nearby spring. "I can't imagine how I would feel if I thought Alice was…" He broke off, unable to finish the sentence even in his head. He shuddered.
I caught the other two cats, but I was so thirsty it took another large animal to totally satisfy my thirst. I took the bear down without effort.
"You're going back to watch her sleep, aren't you?" Emmett asked rhetorically as I tossed the bear's remains aside.
"I can't stay," I replied. "You know I've missed you both, but I wouldn't have come if it hadn't been absolutely necessary. I'm not thirsty anymore. I have to get back to her."
"You suck," Emmett said with a chuckle at the pun. "Tell Bella I said hi when she wakes up."
I didn't respond; by the time he finished the sentence I was running home.
"I knew you wouldn't stay the whole time, but you look much better at least," Alice said serenely from the forest outside of Charlie's little house in the wee hours of Saturday morning as she examined my freshly fed face.
Bella and Charlie had a long conversation this evening after she got finished with her Chemistry lab. Charlie has agreed to let you see her in the evenings from 7-10pm. She is not allowed to leave the house with you and you are not allowed to drive her to or from school. He warned her that Mr. Greene knows she's not supposed to go anywhere with you and he threatened to arrest you if you tried anything. She added wordlessly.
"Well, that's better than I expected..." I began, but a tortured cry made the world stop spinning and I turned to ice.
"Edward...please,"
I tore through the forest faster than the speed of light, detecting no trace of another mental presence or scent to suggest that there was an enemy afoot. I was scaling the wall into her bedroom seconds later, with Alice following along behind me.
The house was silent and dark except for the sound of Bella's cries. Charlie had slept through his daughter's latest nightmare.
"Shh...Bella," I murmured as I cradled her sleeping form to my chest. Her eyes were wet with tears and her body trembled. "I'm here, love, it's okay...shh."
"Edward," she sobbed, still unconscious. "Please don't leave me, please don't..."
"I won't ever leave you again, I swear," I whispered repeatedly as I rocked her. She started to relax as I hummed her lullaby.
"I thought you said she was going to be okay," I growled almost inaudibly at Alice after Bella had calmed down. I wrapped her blankets more tightly around her tiny frame when she shivered against my cold skin.
"She was just having a nightmare," Alice replied defensively as she lounged in the rocking chair on the other side of the room, but her thoughts were apologetic. "She wasn't in any danger and she probably won't even remember this in the morning."
"I'll never be able to make up for leaving her," I muttered bitterly as Bella sighed in her sleep. "She nearly died because of what I did, Charlie thought he was going to have to put her in a mental institution, her friends gave up on her, she's in trouble at school, fighting with her father, making friends with wolves and the Volturi..."
"Yes, it's like a bad game of dominoes," Alice agreed in a whisper, and I could tell she wanted to say I told you so. "One wrong move caused the whole thing to fall apart, didn't it?"
I grimaced again at the perfect analogy.
"The domino effect," I agreed.
"At least one good thing came out of Bella being grounded," Alice said unexpectedly. I started to ask her what she meant by this comment but I saw the answer in her head before I could even form the words.
Bella had asked Charlie if he would make an exception to her house arrest rules and allow her to visit Jacob Black. Surprisingly, he had refused. Perhaps he was angry with the dog over the cliff diving incident after all.
"Well, actually," Alice said uncomfortably when I expressed this theory. "Charlie confided in me that Billy Black asked him not to let Bella come out to the reservation right now."
"Why?" I whispered, relieved and curious all at the same time. Did this have something to do with the treaty? Were Bella's new canine pals turning their hairy backs on her because of our renewed relationship?
"Charlie said that Jacob was really hurt that you and Bella..." Alice paused. "Well, now that you and Bella are back together, Billy said that it would be too hard for him to be around her. Of course, Charlie didn't tell Bella that. He just told her she was grounded and he wasn't making any exceptions."
I cringed again at the thought of Jacob Black and Bella's close friendship. A friendship that I had made possible and necessary because I had abandoned her...left her alone and defenseless, scared and vulnerable. And as a result, our relationship with the wolves was bound to be even more strained, and Bella missed her friend. Bella would have been determined to see him if she wasn't grounded, and I was grateful Charlie had sequestered her. It would make it easier for me to keep her from seeing him, at least for the moment. Then I felt a terrible wave of self-loathing and guilt. How could I be grateful that she was in trouble, regardless of the motivation? I felt especially wretched since I was the cause.
"So the dog doesn't want to see her," I said, half relieved and half sad. I didn't want Bella within a five mile radius of a werewolf, but I knew that she cared for Jacob Black and I didn't want him to hurt her feelings. She shifted slightly in my arms and I kissed her forehead gently.
"That's what he told Charlie," Alice said with a shrug. "But there's more to it obviously; I'm sure the wolves see your reconciliation as base treachery on Bella's part. And having her on their side of the line since she's under our protection would be risky to say the least. If she were to get hurt on the reservation by sheer accident..."
"I would kill every one of them," I finished unnecessarily. "It is out of the question for her to be on their land."
"I agree," Alice said with a nod. "But you and I both know that as soon as she serves her sentence for Charlie, she will want to see him."
I felt a surge of hot fury and pain at her words that had nothing to do with concern for the treaty.
"Does she love him, Alice?" I whispered before I could stop myself. I saw the confirmation in her thoughts before she formed her hasty answer.
"Not the same way that she loves you," Alice said. You mean more to her than anything or anyone else in this world. She added mentally.
My insides twisted and burned as I instinctively held Bella more tightly.
Not the same love, but it was still love.
That wasn't the answer I was looking for, but it was the one I feared.
Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to hear what you think. The next chapter is all original material that covers some of the time between chapter 24 of New Moon and the Epilogue in the novel. I hope you enjoyed my embellishments. Two more chapters after this one.