Hi again! This is almost the end. There is no dialogue from New Moon in this one. It's all original material. This part of the story takes place during Edward and Bella's "adjustment period" after his return and before the Epilogue in New Moon. The next chapter in this story will be the NM Epilogue from Edward's POV and the first encounter he has with Jacob Black since he changed. Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed and added this story to their favorites.
Stephenie Meyer still owns all things Twilight and as much as I wish otherwise, I'm not her. Damn it.
Chapter 18-Destiny
"You're here! I didn't expect you to be back yet," Bella said with a groggy smile just before her alarm clock went off. It was Saturday but she had the morning shift at Newton's. I hated for her to have to get up so early; I knew she still needed rest, especially after her disturbing dreams the night before.
"Did you really think I could stay away?" I said with a tight smile before kissing her cheek. I hoped she hadn't seen the guilt in my face. I never should have agreed to leave her so soon.
"What is it?" she asked anxiously as she sat up and pushed her blankets aside. "What's wrong? Is it Victoria? Did she..."
"No, love," I answered quickly as I cupped her worried face in my hands. "There's been no sign of Victoria."
Bella sighed in acute relief. She'd been living in fear for her life for weeks now and I felt terrible about my stupid hunting expedition. I'd gotten two mountain lions and a small black bear but it hadn't been worth it. Emmett was still so annoyed over the TV I'd ripped apart that I hadn't really even enjoyed being with my brothers.
'Then what's wrong, Edward?" Bella asked, reaching for me. I moved my hands from her face and wrapped my arms back around her without answering. I didn't want to hear her tell me not to feel guilty.
"Edward?" she prompted again after a moment.
"Nothing's wrong, Bella," I muttered, kissing the top of her head. "I just didn't like being away from you, that's all."
That was an understatement.
She pulled away from me and looked up to study my face, unconvinced.
"Are you ever going to stop trying to keep things from me?" She asked quietly. "I may not be a mind reader but I know when you aren't telling me something."
I sighed deeply. I really didn't want to get into this with her but it was necessary. The consequences of my actions were relentless, and she would be too if I didn't answer her now.
"When I got back last night you were having a...nightmare," I said with a grimace.
"Oh," Bella said, and she blushed as though there was a reason for her to feel guilty. "I didn't wake Charlie did I?"
"No," I answered. "But you were yelling so loudly that for a fraction of a second Alice and I thought someone had broken into your room." I sighed bitterly.
"Well, I don't remember dreaming about anything last night, so, it's no big deal." She said with a shrug. She was trying to trivialize this situation, which only made me feel worse. Her feigned indifference meant that the dreams must be more terrible than I'd imagined.
"For Charlie to sleep through all the noise you were making, I would assume he is used it," I said, unwilling to allow her to let me off so lightly now that we were discussing the matter.
Bella winced.
"No, he sleeps through all my sleep talking most of the time," She answered carefully.
"You were screaming, Bella; screaming for me." I countered. "It's no wonder Charlie hates me... he's spent the last 7 months listening to that. I'm so sorry. There are no words to describe how wretched I feel for putting you through..."
"Don't," Bella said softly as she placed a warm fingertip to my lip . "Don't torture yourself, Edward. I'm sorry you had to hear that, but it's over now."
She was sorry!
"Bella..." I began miserably, my voice slightly muffled by her finger.
"I forgave you, Edward," Bella said impatiently as she moved her hand. "Now you need to forgive yourself. Charlie will come around."
I nodded reluctantly. I knew I would never forgive myself, and if I were Charlie, I wouldn't forgive me either.
"Is Charlie gone yet?" she asked me in a whisper as she hopped out of bed and started looking for something to wear. I tried not to look at the black garbage bag or the clothes in the floor of the closet. I knew why they were there. They were things she'd hidden from view that reminded her of me. I had noticed that she'd gotten some of her books out of there though; a positive sign.
"He left with his fishing gear an hour ago," I replied. "What would you like for breakfast?"
"I'll grab a pop tart on my way out," she said absently. "You don't have to cook a big spread like you did Thursday. If I let you feed me that kind of thing every morning I'd be the size of a house."
"I've been reading a little about human nutrition and those pop tart things aren't very healthy, you know," I said with a half-smile.
"You really should read something more entertaining," Bella answered with a laugh. "Besides, it's not like I'll have to worry about human food for much longer."
I clenched my teeth together at the casual reminder of her plans with Carlisle. Her rejection of my marriage proposal still stung, but not as badly as the notion of her fast approaching change. I was still holding out hope that she might relent and wait. I wanted her to have ample time to change her mind about becoming immortal.
"I need to get moving or I'm going to be late," she said as she glanced at the clock. "The store won't be open for customers today because Karen wants Mike and I to work on inventory and I promised him I'd be there by 7:30. The sooner I get there, the faster we can get it over with. I hate inventory days."
"Charlie will be gone all day, so I'll be waiting for you close by." I said. She smiled happily at the thought.
"Behave yourself," She said, leaning up to kiss my cheek before leaving the room to change. I knew what she meant, and I didn't answer her.
******************************EH**********************************
It probably wasn't necessary for me to stay so close to Bella during the daylight hours, but I skulked in an alleyway behind the store, intent on keeping an eye on her for the duration of her shift just in case. Alice hadn't seen anything about Victoria returning to the area, but I knew Victoria wouldn't give up until someone died, and I fully intended to make sure it was her. But, hanging around a closed sporting goods store for 5 hours wasn't the least bit entertaining, so I decided to listen to Bella and Mike. Bella had asked me to behave, so I knew she wouldn't approve, but what else was there to do?
"So, Varner wouldn't let you make up that test, huh?" Mike was saying as he counted through a crate of canteens. "That's too bad. You'll really have to stay on your toes from here on. I could help you study for the next test at my place..." Bet Cullen would love that. Maybe if I piss him off and he loses it she'll finally see what a freak he is. I wouldn't want to make him too mad though…every time I see him he looks homicidal.
I ground my teeth together. Would he ever give up? I really wanted to get my ring on Bella's finger.
"Thanks for the offer, Mike," Bella replied as she sorted through boxes of men's hiking boots. "But, I'm so grounded I doubt Charlie would even let me out for a study session."
That wasn't true of course; if Charlie thought there was even the faintest chance that Newton might be able to steal Bella away from me, he would probably let her go to Las Vegas with him.
"We could work on it after we're done here," Mike persisted. "My dad's with your dad and a bunch of other guys at the river today and I know they won't be back until dusk."
I know Cullen's the reason she's telling me no and I want to hear her say it so I have an excuse to tell her what I think.
"I really appreciate the offer, Mike," Bella said with a blush and a sigh. "But I'm sure Edward will be able to help me catch up. He's got a lot of studying to do too since he just got back."
Bella's mention of my name finally pushed Newton over the edge.
"So you and Cullen are a thing again," Mike said bitterly. "After he was a complete jerk and left you for months..."
"Mike," Bella interrupted him in a surprisingly soft tone that I didn't like. "I don't expect you to understand... "
"Well, you're right Bella, I don't," he said angrily. "Where did you go anyway? Everyone says Cullen ran away from home and you went to find him, but I know there's more to the story."
Jess and Lauren were begging me to try to get details when they found out we were working today. He added mentally.
"I can't talk about this with you, Mike," Bella said in an exasperated voice. She nearly tripped over a palate of sleeping bags as she carried three boxes of size 10 boots over to the display shelves. Newton could have easily helped her, but he was no gentleman.
Oh yeah she's definitely covering up something for that freak. Maybe one of the doctor's science projects went wrong and they had to flee California. Mike thought.
"What does your friend down at the reservation think about Cullen?" Mike asked pointedly. "You know, the one we went to that movie with...what's his name?" She says he's her best friend, only she knows he's madly in love with her. I remember his name...Jacob…we were on the date from hell. He added mentally.
I froze as still as a statue and held my breath. I felt a terrible surge of resentment at his words. Not just because of the dog, but at his reference to a date. Had Bella actually went out on a bad date with Newton while I was gone in an attempt to move on with a normal human boy? That didn't fit with the story Charlie had given Alice. I reminded myself that I had no right to be upset about anyone she may have gone out with while I was away, but that didn't help. The jealousy raged inside my chest like blazing fire.
"Jacob Black," Bella replied, refreshing Newton's phony memory lapse. "I haven't seen him, I'm grounded," She bit her lip. I could see her sad expression through Mike's eyes, but he didn't register the discomfort on her face as easily as I did.
"So, did you break up with him for Cullen?" Mike asked Bella scathingly.
Austin Marks's girlfriend Kyra is from La Push and her cousin Emily told her Bella ditched Jacob Black for Cullen. Kyra said that all his friends are mad at Bella too. There was more between them than Bella admitted. Just the way he looked at her said it all. He thought.
I knew from town gossip that a girl named Emily Young was dating Sam Uley. Alice told me Uley was the stand in leader of the wolves, but I had no idea the pack was under the impression that Bella and Jacob Black were…involved. Even my mind wanted to choke on the word. Was that why they'd agreed to protect her from Victoria? Was Bella keeping something from me?
"No," Bella grumbled. "Like I told you before, Jake I have never been more than just friends, Mike." Her tone was earnest and I felt a little better. "Can we talk about something else, please?"
"Sure," Mike answered.
I still don't believe that he just wanted to be friends even if that's what it was to her. And she calls him Jake.
So, Newton had noticed that little detail too. I winced.
"Have you decided where you're going to college yet?" Mike asked finally, granting Bella's request for a subject change.
"Nope," Bella replied and her face relaxed. "I've got some applications to fill out for places that are still accepting them, but I have no idea where I want to go."
They spent the rest of their morning on small talk but Newton's thoughts were still bitter. He loathed me for the same reason several of the other human boys at Forks High School did.
So many of the boys in this town wanted what I had. Several of them had tried unsuccessfully to win Bella's affections. I marveled at the way she chose me time and again over those who could offer her so much more than I could. Would she ever come to her senses and see that? I brooded for the rest of the morning on that point, wondering if her mind was still on her friend in La Push.
"Are you alright?" Bella asked as I held the passenger door of her truck open for her. The anxiety I was feeling must have been written all over my face.
"I'm just glad to have you all to myself, love," I replied, and my voice sounded tense in my own ears. I knew that wouldn't escape her attention.
"You were listening, weren't you?" She asked flatly as she tried to climb into the seat. I caught her before she could slip on the wet pavement. I smiled a little as she blushed.
"I'm sorry if that upsets you," I said in confirmation as I pulled out of the parking lot. She frowned at me but to my surprise she didn't chastise me further.
"Mike was just trying to get me to tell him some tidbit of information he could pass on to Jess and Lauren," Bella said with a shrug. She was so perceptive that reading minds would be a superfluous gift for her. "Don't worry about what he said."
She thought Mike Newton's little jabs would make me feel guilty. She had no idea that Newton was the least of my worries. He was certainly an irritation, but I was more concerned about what was going on in a place I was forbidden to go. A place filled with enemies who had emotional ties to her that I was grateful for and resented all at the same time. Jacob Black had kept her safe while I was away, but what would the bonds they had forged cost me?
"So, have you talked to any of your friends in La Push since we returned?" I asked in a would-be casual voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I scrutinized her face.
"I tried to call Jake last night but Billy said he was gone," Bella replied with a frown. She obviously suspected that he was avoiding her.
I gritted my teeth at the nickname again. Jake.
"Yes, well he and his pack mates are probably on their guard with all the vampire activity in the area. Carlisle heard they were quite pleased when we left last time," I replied stiffly as I turned onto the highway.
I heard Bella's intake of breath a half second later and I regretted my hasty words. I pulled Bella into my arms as I drove unswervingly toward her house.
"I'm sorry," I whispered miserably as I kissed her hair. "For everything…for leaving you and…"
"I know," She interrupted, keeping her suddenly clouded eyes focused on the windshield. "Please don't apologize anymore, Edward. I told you I understand. It's just…" She broke off and buried her face into my chest.
"Go on," I prompted her after a moment as we turned onto Charlie's street. Weren't people my age supposed to have endless patience?
"I don't like to talk about it," She murmured into my shirt. I felt her shudder involuntarily as she said it. "It's too hard."
I held her tighter and nodded silently to indicate that I understood.
Bella was such an emotionally strong person, brave to the point of insanity at times, and to see her so shaken shattered my frozen heart, because I had done that to her.
I would never allow anything else to scare her or hurt her that way again. I would redeem myself as much as I could by making sure Victoria paid for threatening her. I'd been given a second chance with her and I had no intention of losing her again.
******************************EH*********************************
"I should try to get caught up on homework," Bella said as she made herself something to eat. "I need to finish those calculus problems and a chemistry worksheet, get the laundry done and cook dinner before Charlie gets home tonight. He won't let you in the house unless all of my chores are done."
"I think you can manage it all with my help," I replied with a grin. "Would you like to see how fast I do laundry?"
"Bella frowned at me as she swallowed a drink of her milk. "I know you have vampire strength and speed, but I don't see how that will help you make Charlie's antique washer go any faster."
"It's an ancient Chinese secret," I laughed, quoting an old laundry detergent commercial.
"Huh?" Bella asked with a frown.
"Oh, right…you're too young to remember that one," I said and I told her about the ad. She snorted.
"I do my own version of an extra spin cycle," I explained. "Cuts the drying time in half even with a first rate machine, so I'll be done before you know it."
"Sounds like a persuasive sales pitch for a vampire laundry mat," Bella replied with another laugh.
I helped Bella get caught up on her studies and then I worked on the laundry while she made Charlie a rather complicated looking dinner. Doing the wash was easy, but I hadn't taken into account- and I was sure Bella hadn't either- that I would be sorting through some of her…intimate clothing. As if I needed that extra information to fuel my already overly active imagination. I tried to avoid looking at what I was putting into the machine, but I couldn't.
Thank heaven I was the only mind reader in the family. I shuddered at the thought of what Emmett would say if he knew what I was doing. I'd be hearing jokes about me rifling through Bella's undergarments for the next century, especially after the TV incident. The thought had no more than formed in my mind before I heard the sounds of my Volvo a few streets away, and from the scent I knew there was more than one occupant in my car.
I was sitting in the kitchen with Bella when the doorbell rang less than four minutes later. I cringed at the smug thoughts I was hearing.
"Hey Bella," I heard Emmett say when Bella answered the door. He stepped inside with Alice following lithely behind him. They always looked so strange together given the differences in their sizes.
"I didn't expect to see you, Emmett," Bella said cheerfully as she ushered them into the kitchen. "Didn't you have any thing better to do?"
Emmett couldn't think of anything better to do when I told him what I'd seen you doing, Edward. Alice thought as she chuckled aloud.
"Well, I was going to watch the Final Four on my new Korean HD plasma screen, but this vampire with an anger management problem ripped it apart with his bare hands," Emmett said in a matter of fact voice. "So I figured I'd come over and watch Edward do your laundry instead."
I want to see the look on Bella's face when she hears the story. And unless you want me to tell Jasper and Rosalie about the chores you've been doing for your girl, you'll buy me two new TV's instead of one. He thought.
I glared at him, and then at Alice when I heard what she was thinking.
You deserve a little payback for tearing up his new toy. Alice added silently. Sorry I told him about what you were washing. I thought it was funny.
Hilarious.
"What happened?" Bella asked with a confused frown.
"Your better half wants to know what happened to my TV Edward," Emmett said.
Bella gasped. "Is that what you broke in the living room on Thursday? "You ripped a TV!"
"Like a piece of paper," Alice said with a sigh.
"Wanna know how much it cost?" Emmett interjected. He knew how much Bella hated frivolity. The five digit price tag would set her off.
"Edward!" Bella exclaimed before Emmett had the chance to tell her the exact figure.
"Okay, Emmett," Alice said chidingly. "You've had enough fun. Bella knows Edward has the temper of a barbarian and you're going to get what you wanted as repayment."
"I don't know Alice," Emmett said evilly. "The blackmail part is almost too good to give up."
Jasper would never let you hear the end of it after all the times you've made fun of him for going shopping with Alice. Emmett sneered silently.
"Blackmail?" Bella asked apprehensively.
"Emmett, if you embarrass her I'll rip you apart just like I did the TV," I whispered too fast and quietly for her to understand. My Bella is a lady and I would not tolerate him talking so crudely in front of her.
"Never mind, Bella," Alice said as she rolled her eyes at both of us. "Emmett isn't going to blackmail anyone. I can see that." For Bella's sake he knows I'd help you kill him. She added silently.
Bella sighed in relief and walked back over to the stove to stir the contents of a large saucepan. But, I could tell she was still curious about Emmett's comment.
"You know I'm really glad to see you guys," Bella said as she adjusted the temperature of the burner. "But I don't think having a little mini get together like this is going to soften Charlie up for Edward's first official visit."
"Edward and Emmett aren't staying long since Charlie will be home in 52 minutes and he won't be pleased if they're here when he comes back," Alice said blandly. "They're going to leave me here with the car and Edward will come back before Charlie gets home. I've seen that he should wait for Charlie outside so they can have a private talk. "
Charlie's opinion of you will improve just a tad if you approach him without Bella. He'll think you're being more of a man if you talk to him when she's not there to diffuse the tension. She added silently.
Bella glanced anxiously in my direction for a split second before she started fiddling with the knob on the stove again. She didn't want me to leave, and she wasn't looking forward to my face to face with her father either. I flitted to her side at once and pulled her reassuringly against my chest. Emmett made some crass whispered remarks that I ignored as I kissed her cheek.
"Would you mind terribly if I just hid in your room until I'm allowed to come in?" I whispered in her ear. I felt her relax beneath me at my words just as I tensed in response to Alice's thoughts.
"No, Edward," Alice said firmly, and I winced. "You need to run an errand with Emmett so he can get replace his TV and I need to have a girl moment with Bella."
I had a vision about Victoria earlier, and Bella will panic if she finds out, so don't say anything. It was very vague; all I could see was her face and some evergreen trees in the background. I can't help but think that might mean she's in the immediate area. If she was close enough to the wolves, it would impede my sight. You need to go with Emmett and take a look around the Hoh forest since Carlisle and Esme are out of town for the day. Jasper and Rose are covering the areas closer to the border. She said wordlessly.
I nodded once in Alice's direction. Bella tensed slightly, but she made no other objections to my assent. I turned her around and cupped her face in my hands.
"I won't be gone long, I promise," I murmured, and I kissed her softly. She nodded.
"I love you," she said quietly.
"As I love you," I replied. "More than I could ever say in a thousand different languages."
"You probably speak that many different languages, so maybe you could try." she teased.
"I'll get started on that as soon as I return," I said, kissing her on the forehead before rushing out the door with Emmett.
"I never thought I'd say this, but your crazy protective streak has gotten worse since you got back," Emmett snorted as we ran.
And all that mushy talk: you'll have to move out once she's changed. He added wordlessly.
"I've listened to you and Rosalie for over 60 years with few complaints," I reminded him.
"True," Emmett conceded. "And I guess thinking she'd died…"
"Do you think we'll find anything?" I asked, cutting him off mid-sentence. I couldn't talk about that trauma and terror now, nor did I think I would be able to in the future. Emmett seemed to understand because he didn't bring it up again.
"I don't know about now," He replied in a matter of fact tone. "But we will sooner or later. She'll be back."
"Yes," I agreed with a furious growl. "And I'll be waiting."
"How was your errand?" Alice asked me curiously as she stood on Charlie's front stoop. I could hear Bella setting the table in the little kitchen.
"Fruitless," I said with a sigh. "Emmett's meeting up with Jasper and Rose so they can expand the search. You haven't seen anything else?"
"Nothing," Alice said with a frustrated frown.
Surely the wolves aren't going to keep affecting my sight this much. I hate this. She thought angrily.
"We just have to be vigilant," I replied with a heavy sigh. "You will see something if she gets too close. Maybe what you saw means she's thinking about coming back but she hasn't decided yet."
Alice nodded slightly. Her face was still furrowed, but her thoughts were less irritated.
"Charlie will be here in seven minutes," Alice said. "So you have enough time to go in and say hi to Bella before you come back out here to wait for him. This isn't going to be an easy conversation, but he's calmer than he was when you last saw him, and he had a great fishing trip. He'll be more willing to talk openly if Bella isn't with you. I'll see you in the morning." And without another word, she was gone.
Bella greeted me at the door a half second after I'd knocked, and I was pleased that she was so eager to see me.
"I told you I wouldn't be gone long," I whispered into her hair as we embraced. She had only been out of my sight for 47 minutes and that was too long for me.
"It never feels like a short time, though," Bella muttered as she pressed her face into my chest.
"I know," I replied, kissing the top of her head and breathing in her warm scent. The burn that I felt at her fragrance was a totally different desire now, devoid of thirst. "If only there was some way for me to keep you at my side constantly," I mused. She hugged me tighter as though she were trying to do just that.
"Charlie will be here soon," I said. "Alice told me to wait for him so we could talk outside. She said he would speak more freely if we were alone."
Bella looked up at me with a half worried, half incredulous expression.
"And that's supposed to be a good thing?" She asked apprehensively.
"Believe it or not, it will be better this way," I replied. "Don't worry. I knew I would have to face the proverbial music sooner or later. No one else is as forgiving as you are, love."
"That's because no one else loves you the way that I do," she replied with a smile as she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed my cheek.
"I don't deserve you," I answered softly. She frowned up at me, and I knew she didn't agree. I could hear Charlie's car now, and I knew I only had a couple of minutes until he pulled into the driveway.
"I need to go back outside," I said, pulling her face up to mine to kiss her briefly on the lips. "Charlie's dinner is done and you've had a busy day; you should sit down and rest for a bit."
She nodded and I scooped her up into my arms and sat her on the couch before she could take a breath.
"Je t'aime," I whispered as I walked toward the front door. There was one of my I love you's. "Mon amour pour toi est eternel."
"What did you say?" she asked curiously. I smiled.
"It means I love you and my love for you is eternal," I said as I walked out the door. She smiled as she curled up on the sofa.
I was sitting in the Volvo when the glaring lights of Charlie's police cruiser illuminated the driveway 90 seconds later. I saw the jovial expression on his face evaporate when he saw my car parked beside Bella's old Chevy. He stared at me for a long moment after he'd turned the car off, his thoughts twisted and snarled in irritation. The fury had waned, but the dislike was as strong as ever. I took a deep breath and got out of my car just as Charlie opened the cruiser door and popped his trunk.
"It's a little early for you to be here," He grunted angrily as he removed a large cooler awkwardly from the trunk of his car. I could smell the unpleasant odor of freshly caught fish inside. "I'm sure Bella told you about my time conditions."
"Yes, sir she did," I said evenly. "But I came here to talk to you."
His looked up at me in surprise for a brief moment before his scowl returned.
"I think I said pretty much everything I wanted to say to you when I kicked you out of my house two days ago, Cullen," He replied as he sat the cooler down at his feet. His voice was even, but his brown eyes blazed with unadulterated disgust.
I hung my head for a moment, unable to stand looking into his eyes. They were too much like Bella's, and they reflected all of the fury and hurt that I should have seen in hers.
"I understand why you hate me," I said a moment later. "If I were you, I would feel the same way…"
"You're not a father, so you don't understand anything," He hissed, not bothering to deny the hatred I knew he felt. "Talk to me about understanding when you have a daughter of your own."
I just hope your daughter doesn't wind up being my granddaughter, He thought.
I winced in response to his words and his unusually clear thoughts. Bella could never have my baby. I felt a moment of sudden and intense longing for a child I could never have. I pushed the feeling away, trying to focus on the present.
"I'm sorry," I said lamely. "I know that's a totally inadequate thing to say, but I am. I never should have left her the way I did, and I'll always regret it."
"You're damn right you shouldn't have," Charlie replied, and I saw an image in his mind of a pale, gaunt Bella lying on the living room sofa. Her face was empty and despondent. "And I don't want to hear any more feeble apologies from you."
"Alright," I said slowly. This wasn't going well at all. Was Alice wrong? "No more apologies. But, I do have something else to say."
"Well get on with it, then," he snapped. "Say your piece and leave me alone." He was wishing that I would leave Bella alone too.
"I love Bella very much, and I'm willing to do anything to try to make things up to her," I replied. That was an impossible feat but I couldn't give up, and I needed to explain myself.
Teenagers think they know all there is to know about life and love. He hasn't lived long enough to know what he really wants. He thought.
I almost laughed since I would have been in my 60's in human years when he was born. But the laughter died in my throat when I heard the timbre of his thoughts.
"Right," Charlie said bitterly. "You love her so much you left her in the woods. You love her so much you went six months without even bothering to check on her. You love her so much that you've caused her to run away from home twice in the last year, getting her seriously hurt in the process. That's real love." He snorted in disgust.
I flinched at the anguish his words caused me. This reminder of the amount of pain that Bella had suffered in my absence twisted my insides. I, too had ached for her with a grief that would have killed a human man, but my pain was self-inflicted. Hers was fueled by lies, rejection and abandonment. How much harder would it have been for me if I had believed she didn't love me?
"I know I don't deserve her or her forgiveness," I admitted sadly. "But, she has graciously given me both, and I won't disappoint her. And I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back, too," I went on fervently, hoping he heard the sincerity in my words.
"It's going to take a whole lot more than pretty words to make me trust you again," Charlie replied. "The only reason I haven't kicked you off my property is because my daughter is by the legal definition, an adult and I couldn't stop her if she wanted to take off somewhere with you. And that's the last thing I want. At least I know she's safe under my roof. But I'm warning you now if you hurt her one more time I'll make sure you never see her again."
"Yes, sir," I replied, knowing that he would never be able to keep us apart. Only my own mistakes could do that
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going inside to have dinner with my daughter," Charlie said irritably as he picked up the cooler again. I would have offered to help, but I knew he wouldn't appreciate the gesture. "It's only 6:45 and I've already tolerated being around you longer than I was prepared for today. Don't darken my front door until 7."
I nodded just as the curtains in the front window fluttered. I caught a glimpse of Bella's long hair as she turned away from the glass and I knew it would be a long fifteen minutes.
"It was the worst night out I've ever had, hands down," Bella whispered as I tried not to laugh out loud. Charlie had been in bed for a half an hour, and he was deeply asleep, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
"So, Newton was throwing up into a popcorn bucket," I shook with silent laughter again. Too bad he didn't ruin that mutt's car. I thought.
Now that she had explained the date from hell Newton had referenced, I was feeling giddy with relief that she hadn't really gone out with him while I was gone.
"And the movie was almost as bad as the puking," Bella chuckled quietly. "I missed half of it and I didn't care." I laughed too.
"The worst part was, I came down with it the next morning," Bella said with a sigh. "I was so sick…well actually that wasn't the worst part…" she paused, biting her lip nervously.
"What was the worst part, then?" I whispered. I was no longer laughing. I was frozen, paralyzed by the severe tension in her body as I wondered what she was thinking.
"That was the night Jake…changed for the first time," she said with a sigh. "It happened right after he got home that night."
I shuddered involuntarily at this new piece of information. What if he had shifted in front of her? He could have seriously injured her or…
I couldn't even complete the thought. I cursed myself again for my foolhardy choice to leave.
"How long ago was that?" I asked once I was certain I could speak calmly. My even voice didn't fool her and she winced.
"Umm, it was back in February," She replied apprehensively. "But, Jake has a lot of control…"
"No young werewolf has control, Bella," I said in a furious hiss. "Even older wolves are volatile. Do you know how lucky you are to be alive? I certainly do."
"I am alive because of the wolves, not in spite of them," Bella reminded me.
My insides twisted at her words and I was unable to keep the agony from showing on my face.
"Oh Edward," Bella whispered in a voice that was thick with remorse. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded." She squeezed me as hard as her delicate body would allow, planting warm kisses on my face in an attempt to soothe me. "I'm sorry."
"It's the truth, though," I replied sadly as I buried my face in her hair. I had failed her, and she had nothing to be sorry for.
"You can't change the past," she said softly, stroking my cheek with her warm fingers. "You're here with me now, and we'll never be apart again."
I smiled. "No we won't."
I would never let her go somewhere that I couldn't follow.
Never again.
As the days passed, Bella and I fell into a pleasant routine. We attended school together, and our schedules were identical save for Calculus. Mr. Varner would not accommodate me when I asked to be moved into Bella's section. Not that I'd really expected him to. He was a first class power hungry creep. After school, Alice usually accompanied Bella home and I would spend the hours between classes and my designated visiting hours at home with my family, hunting, or else looking for any sign of Victoria.
But, the nights were the best part of my days now. I existed for them. I spent each one in Bella's bed, talking to her (for hours at a time some nights) and holding her while she slept. We learned so much more about each other during those cherished hours. And just when I would think my silent heart had no room inside it to love her more, I found it expanding to make space for an even higher level of adoration. She was my love, my life, my destiny.
Charlie hadn't spoken to me since the night I'd accosted him in his driveway, and I said little to him in turn. Bella was still convinced that he would come around, but I couldn't find anything in his head to indicate that he had any intention of forgiving me. He mentioned Jacob Black often in an attempt to irritate me, but Bella said little about her estranged friend in my presence, though I knew she was still trying to contact him when I wasn't around.
I was at home one afternoon passing the time between visits with Bella at my piano when I heard Carlisle calling silently to me from his study.
I need to show you something, He said wordlessly. I zipped up the stairs to find him sitting at his desk with a newspaper in his hands and a frown on his normally smooth face.
"Have you seen this?" he asked me as he tossed a copy of The Seattle Times in my direction. I shook my head as I took in the headlines.
Mysterious Slayings Baffle Police: Authorities Suspect Gang is Involved.
Another charred and battered body has been found in the heart of the city, the third such discovery in just as many days. The authorities have identified the latest victim as Kendra Nicholson, 34. Nicholson was reported missing by her roommate just hours before her body was located. Two other victims of similar homicides have been Bernard Reese, 44 and Janice Roberts, 57. So far, police have been unable to find any connection between the victims, but the bodies were all burned beyond recognition and carelessly disposed of in locations that don't appear to be the actual scene of the crime.
"What does Jasper think?" I asked severely as I laid the paper on Carlisle's desk. I knew my father was thinking the same thing that I was.
"He thinks it's an unrestrained newborn, too," he replied. "He believes that he guard will intercede if it doesn't stop."
And if they come to Seattle…he thought, trailing off when I finished the thought.
"They might check on Bella," I said bleakly.
Would it ever end?