"You walked into my life

And just like that you walked back out

Still you will be a memory

A memory that I have created in my mind

Still you will be a memory

A memory that will always be locked

Away in my heart and in my mind

I will always have a memory of you in my heart

And I will always carry a picture of you in my mind

Still you will be a memory…"-Excerption from the diary of Erik.

Erik's POV

I was out, walking around Phantasma hoping to find Eudora and the boy. My blood boiled at the thought of my daughter being kidnapped by the boy! How dare he! I cut through an alley hoping to stay out of everyone's sight, but I began to smell smoke. I thought it to be one of Mr. Squelch's fire acts, until I heard people screaming. I ran as fast as I could out of the alley, and saw the most horrible sight I had seen in over ten years. My park! My world was on fire! Thousands of people were running towards the exit to escape, as my workers tried to extinguish the flames. The worst of the flames were coming from my Maze of Mirrors….Hell, I could rebuild the damn thing, that wasn't the problem, the problem was that my daughter and the boy were still out there!

"Sir!" I heard Mr. Squelch's voice, but the smoke was so thick that I couldn't see him.

"Sir!"

"I'm right here!" I shouted back.

Mr. Squelch appeared out of the smoke carrying a bucket full of water.

"Sir, your daughter!"

"What about her?" I panicked.

"Before the fire started I saw her run into the maze with a boy…"

No! no….This couldn't be happening!

"Did she ever come out?" I grabbed Mr. Squelch by his shirt.

"No, sir….She's still inside."

I didn't even care about my own safety. I ran right to the burning maze and entered the flaming building. The smoke was so thick, that I couldn't see a single part of the maze. I coughed heavily, and shouted out my daughter's name hoping she would answer me.

"Eudora!"

"Erik!" it was my daughter, she was crying and seemed so far away.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know….in front of a mirror that makes your body all fat."

I knew that mirror, there was only one like it.

"I'm coming for you! Stay where you are!"

But before I could move, something hard hit me in the back of the skull and I fell to my knees, immediately blacking out….

I wasn't sure how long I was out, but when I came to, a familiar nightmare from long ago began playing out before my own very eyes. My vision was blurred, but I could feel hay poking into my body, and a terrible, musty smell fermenting around me. When my vision cleared, I was staring up at some sort of wooden ceiling….When I turned my head, there were metal bars! I gasped, and sat up, noticing that I was indeed trapped within a cage. When I looked at my body and arms, my shirt was missing, and my leg was shackled to one of the bars so I couldn't escape. I lifted my hand to my face, only to realize that my mask was still in place. Knowing this was like having a huge weight lifted from off my shoulders. But where was Phantasma? Where was Coney Island? I didn't see anything familiar to me….nothing at all! There were woods, trees, and a few horses….Where was I?

"Ah, I see you've awaken."

I turned and looked through the bars, noticing Jefro stepping towards the cage. That bastard! I knew he was behind this! He saw my face! He wanted me! And now, he was going to keep me as his prize.

"What is this!" I yelled. "Let me go!"

Jefro rattled the bars with his whip, and smiled devilishly.

"No, you're mine now….You're going to make me big money, monster."

"I have a wife…..and a child! I run Phantasma!"

"None of that matters now…." he growled.

"They'll be looking for me….You'll be arrested!"

"I don't think so….You're dead…..and as for your park….it's a pile of ash now."

My face turned pale. My daughter! Was she still alive?

"Oh, did I let the kitty out of the bag?" he laughed. "That's right. You're dead. I set a section of your park on fire and placed your shirt at the scene of the crime. You're dead, Mister E…..and this…." he motioned to the horses and caravans scattered about. "is your new life."

Christine! She would be worried about me! She couldn't think me to be dead! No! I wasn't dead! I was alive! Alive!

"You bastard!"

I tried to reach through the bars, but my shackle wasn't long enough to do so. Then I noticed it….my braces were gone! I couldn't walk without them, only stand in place.

"Where are my braces?" I asked in a panic. "I can't walk without them."

Out of no where, Jefro pulled them from behind his back and rattled the bars with them.

"These things? You won't be needing these anymore. I think I'll turn them into silver bullets."

He threw them aside, and turned to me once again.

"Now, take off your mask."

I shook my head, and backed up against the bars.

"Take off your god damn mask! Don't make me do it for you!"

Still, I didn't listen to him.

"Last chance, monster, take off your mask!"

I wouldn't. I wouldn't take off my mask and become the attraction I once was.

"Fine…" he growled. "Have it your way…"

He snapped his fingers, and a large gypsy came walking over to my cage.

"Yes, master?"

"Get in there and take off the monster's mask for me…"

"Sure thing…"

I scrambled to my feet, and stood there, watching the man entering my cage. He stood at least two feet taller than me, with tattoos covering his entire body and muscles.

"Now let's not make this any harder than what it is."

It's been years, perhaps even decades since I last had to defend myself. I couldn't walk, and one movement would cause me to fall on my face, but I wasn't about to let this bastard have my mask.

He reached for my mask, but I pushed him away. He hit the bars, and growled in anger as Jefro coaxed him not to give up.

"Get the mask!"

This time, the man charged towards me, his hands outstretched towards my neck. Christine had turned me from monster into man, and now I was being transformed back into the monster I was born as. Seeing this man coming towards me was the spark my body needed to change me back. I remembered everything….how to defend myself and how to kill. He didn't even get his hands around me, for my hands wrapped around his neck in one swift motion, and snapped it. The man fell to the cage floor, dead as a doornail and Jefro's eyes widened. Everything had slowed down, leaving me staring at my newly bloodstained hands.

"I….I'm sorry…." I cried, dropping to my knees. "I didn't mean to….I…I…."

"You're brilliant!" Jefro cried. "And I thought you were good for nothing but that hideous face of yours. I've never seen anything like that!"

"T…Take my mask…." I cried, peeling it off my face.

"Keep it. Keep your mask! You're not going to be showing your face…."

"What?"

"You're the killing machine. People would pay big bucks to see a monster battle others. Yes! It's brilliant!"

No! I wouldn't, I wouldn't kill! But the decision was already made. How I tried over and over again to pinch myself, hoping I would wake up in my bed and be back with my Christine, but this…..this was no dream. History was indeed repeating itself. My living conditions were worse than when I was a child. I was kept in my cage all the time, with little food and little water. Jefro had not bothered me since I killed the man he sent into my cage. For years my weak stomach had settled, but now that I was traveling again, I found myself throwing up all hours of the day. When I was a child and threw up, my master used to whip me, but Jefro was different, he didn't whip me, just made me lay in it.

I wasn't sure where we were headed, but all I knew was that Coney Island was getting farther and farther away. I missed Christine, my daughter, even Phantasma. But my nightmare was just beginning. We arrived some days later in a town that wasn't familiar to me. Jefro set up, and that night, a homeless man was brought to my cage. Jefro had promised him half my earnings if he could beat me. I didn't want to kill. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I had no choice. It was either kill or be killed. I tried to defend myself in the most harmless of ways, but my opponent came towards me with a "aim to kill" move. I didn't want to be killed, and so I killed…..

I wasn't sure how many I had killed in the first week. Ten? Twenty? Jefro found big bucks offering money to those who believed they could kill me. I just had to stand still, and let my hands do all the work. Thinking about Christine had kept me sane for a while. I thought about her every moment of every day, only hoping I would wake up and see her sitting beside me. But how long can one possibly go on killing without losing their mind? It seemed like a century of begging Jefro to let me go, but he never did. He only told me to shut up or else he would punish me.

And yet, my punishment came anyway. It was after a long night of killing. How many had I killed? How much blood had I spilt? I counted everyday I was locked in that cage, but when I lost my mind, I also lost count on the days, the weeks….and the months. I lay there that night, looking up at my ceiling, not remembering my name, but rather the torture I had brought upon the men who dared to challenge me. My legs were sore, because I had not walked in what seemed like years…Did I even remember how to walk anymore? It was then that the door to my cage was opened, and Jefro came walking in accompanied by two other gypsies.

"How's my monster doing?" he purred.

I didn't answer him, only cuddled the filthy hay to my chest.

"Awww…you seem sad. I think you need cheering up, and I know just how to do it."

The two gypsies pinned me down on my stomach so I couldn't move. Jefro then moved behind me, and I heard him lowering his trousers…

"Don't do this!" I screamed. "Don't…"

"Shut up!" he growled. "You're going to be quiet and enjoy this…"

No! this couldn't happen to me! I wouldn't let it! I tried to fight off the two men that were holding onto me, but their grip was so tight that I couldn't move. When my trousers were pulled down, I screamed, hoping that perhaps Christine would hear me and come to my rescue, but that never happened. Jefro raped me, just like my master did when I was a boy…..What ever sanity I had left, was hanging on by the skin of its teeth, but this was far too much…..I lost it! I completely lost it! I no longer knew my name, or of my family….I was nothing more than a killing machine. Jefro left me that night, sore and bleeding. But this wasn't the only time I would endure such pain. He came to me more often, always accompanied by two gypsies each time to hold me down.

During my shows, I used to try and find ways not to harm my opponent, but after I lost my mind, I no longer cared. I turned myself into killing who ever touched me. That feeling of a hand on my shoulder would turn me and my own hands would snap their neck before they could move or hurt me any further.

I lost all track of time, with only knowing one thing and one thing only; killing. We traveled by day, and I killed by night, never losing a single battle. The winter snow came and went ten times over again. How many months had passed? How many years? My memory was lost, leaving me as a body and nothing more. There was no soul, there was no feelings….Jefro was running me like a robot. What ever he ordered me to do, I did, what ever he wanted done was done. He called me his "Little monster," and that's what I believed myself to be. I was his most valuable item, but soon that changed. I worked for him for what seemed like decades, killing everything in sight. But there came a day when I could no longer stand on my own.

Jefro had taken away my braces when he first kidnapped me. Without them, I could only stand, but now…now I couldn't even do that. When I refused to get to my feet one evening, he chained me to my cage wall in a standing position. When my opponent entered my cage that night, I was so weak that I couldn't even swing my arms. He had a knife in his hand, and after a few attempts, he stabbed me straight in the stomach. Jefro, who had been watching the entire thing, pulled the angry man out of my cage before he could finish me off. I would have dropped to my knees, but I was chained in the uncomfortable standing position. Blood flowed from my body, hitting the filthy hay at my feet. After I was unlocked by Jefor's gypsies, I dropped to the floor, and laid there the entire night, clutching my stomach as I bled into the disgusting hay.

I was sure my life was going to end, but Jefro brought in a gypsy doctor to try and help me. When he began touching me, I snapped and tried to kill him as well, so Jefro had two of his gypsies hold me down. Maybe if he had brought a doctor sooner, I could have been healed, but Jefro was a cheap man, and therefore, he waited almost ten hours before bringing me help. By then, my wounds were so infected that the doctor could do nothing for me. He advised Jefro to take me to the hospital, but he would do no such thing. He told the doctor to bandage my wound and leave it at that.

For the first time since I could remember, I did not perform at night with the others. I was left alone in my cage, clutching my stomach, and waiting for death to arrive. I had a terrible fever, and my wound was only getting more infected as the moments went on.

Out around where the shows that were going on, was an amusement park, one that looked ever so familiar. I couldn't remember anything but killing, but I knew this place. I was cold, and my cage was in a dark corner where no one could see me. People were passing by a few feet from me, hundreds of people for all I knew. I was like a caged animal in the zoo, a wounded one, hoping for someone to come and save him.

But then, like in my dreams, I saw Christine. I had not thought about her in a long time, but out in the crowd, I swear I saw her. Brown curls, thinn body, elegant face… No, this had to be a mirage.

"Ch…Christine…" her name escaped my lips in a helpless whisper.

Jefro was instantly there to kick my cage and tell me to be quiet. But like fate, the woman turned and looked my way. It was her! I knew it was her! She was just as beautiful as I remembered her being, and she was coming towards me. Her steps were small at first, but became faster upon realizing who I was…..

"Erik?"

I didn't know that name anymore. Who was Erik? I was a monster, not Erik.

"Erik….."

I felt her warm hands reach through the bars and touch my own, causing me to flinch. I pulled away and screamed as if she were trying to hurt me. I believed this to be a mirage, and nothing more, for I passed out. When I woke, I was surrounded by men dressed in white. They were tearing away my trousers, and my instincts immediately acted out. I fought them! I punched and swung my fists, fighting my way through everyone of them. One tried to calm me down, but I didn't….I was a killing machine and this was all I knew how to do. But soon, I felt a syringe prick my arm, and I quickly fell asleep.

When I woke again, I was laying in a bed. My body hurt like hell, and my stomach was on fire. Then there was that image of Christine again….She was sitting at my bedside with a look of amazement on her face. Her hand reached out to my own, and the warmth of it warmed my own hand. Feeling that touch caused me to flinch once more and pull away.

"Erik…..Sh…shhh… calm down."

Erik, Erik, that name…. Was that who I really was? Erik? All I remembered was being called "Little Monster."

"Erik, it's going to be ok." she had tears in her eyes. "You're going to be fine. I've never given up on you…..never…"

She tried to touch me again, but I only flinched and curled myself into a ball.

"What ever happened to you is all over now, Erik. You're coming home with me, and then I'm going to cure you…."

"Jefro…." I cried.

"Will harm you no more."

Christine was sobbing now, leaning over my body causing more fear to enter my heart. I clutched my fists, ready to hit her, but she didn't touch me….

"Erik, do you….do you remember me?"

I remembered her like a dream. I remembered what her kisses felt like, and I remembered that we were together and had a daughter, but that was it.

"Yes…."

"No you don't. You're acting strange, Erik…..It's ok…" her tears landed on my cheek.

"I remember you…." I trembled. "I…remember that I loved you."

Christine couldn't hold back any longer, and wrapped her arms around me. I bit my lip to stop me from wanting to hit her and push her away…..I let her love me, and that familiar love returned into my heart.

"What's the last thing you remember, Erik?"

Her arms were still wrapped around me, as I tried to remember what I was doing right before all the gypsy nonsense started. Running?

"I…I was out….on my own."

"Yes, you were looking for our daughter."

Everything came rushing back to me. The boy, Eudora, the fire, the hit to the head! Everything!

"Where is she?"

Christine cupped my face, but I flinched away from her.

"Erik, she's perfectly fine. Dimitri and her were in the maze. A section of your park was set on fire, and….and your shirt was found by the dogs who were sent to sniff you out. I thought you were dead….For a year I've been mourning you….Oh, Erik…."

A year? That's all that I was gone? It felt longer…..like a decade, a decade of pure agony.

"Please, don't touch me, Christine…..please…I'm frightened."

"Frightened of what?"

"That….that I'll hurt you…"

Her eyes looked into my own, desperate for answers.

"What did he make you do, Erik? Tell me…."

Once again she was too close to me, and I finally pushed her away.

"Just leave me alone….please….My hands….they kill…kill for no reason. They'll kill you too…."

"Erik, please relax, your fever is very high….I…I won't touch you again, I swear." she took a seat beside my bed, and folded her hands into her lap. "Everything is going to be ok, Erik….they can't hurt you anymore."

But everything was not going to be ok. I was a killing machine…How was I ever going to cope around others again when the simplest touch set me off? I was dangerous, and anything but ok….But where was Jefro? Where was he? And was he still looking for me?

Ok, promise happy happy chapters to come. Please review!