Falling Down Hill

"So What Say Thee?"

Themyscira

Diana ushered a completely flustered Clark Kent into a small anteroom off the main hall. She closed the door and turned to him.

"She's bluffing, Kal."

He was still trying to wrap his head around all of this and just looked at her incredulously.

"I don't think she is, Diana!"

"I believe I know my mother a little better than you do," Diana pointed out.

"So you saw this coming and didn't warn me,' he asked, running his hand through his hair, his eyes wide in shock.

"Well no," she admitted. "It was a surprise to me as well, but like I said I know her. My mother is a very wise and clever woman. She has backed me into this corner and doesn't expect me to call her bluff. "

"And what if she isn't bluffing, Diana? Have you considered that?"

"We would marry, but if I'm right she'll back down and everything will be fine."

"That's a pretty big if, Diana,' He exclaimed.

"I know but we would only be married for a month, Kal."

"Yeah, wasn't really expecting that when I came today,' he said in exasperation. "I'm mean I was ready for something like "touch my daughter I turn you into a eunuch' but marriage? That's asking a lot, Diana!"

Clark scanned the room seeing if there was another way out. This was all too much for him to take right now and he had a desperate need to be anywhere else.

"Maybe there's another way we can get out of this." He turned towards her thinking on the fly. "I could just take off, run for it. No one on this island could catch me. I hit the beach and fly away. Sure, it's not the most heroic thing to do, but sometimes you have to run away to fight another day as the saying goes."

"There's a magical barrier around the island, Kal, you know that,' Diana relied. "You couldn't fly out unless it's opened for you."

He tapped his thumb against his bottom lip as he tried to formulate a plan.

"Maybe I could swim,' he offered. "I'm no Aquaman, but I'll give it a shot. Oh, I got it! I could tunnel my way out! You watch the door while I move this table. I can go right down through this floor."

Diana stood staring at him, her arms crossed and a very unhappy look on her face. While she wasn't a vain person, she did have a healthy ego. The idea that he would rather tunnel through the earth than marry her wasn't sitting so well.

"Is it such a horrible idea to be married to me, Kal? Am I understanding you right,' she asked, a bit of her temper slipping through. "You'd rather run or swim or dig your way out of here rather than face the possibility of being married to me for only a month?'

He was moving the table and several of the artifacts in the room and wasn't looking at her. He stopped when he heard the tone in her voice.

"That wasn't what I was suggesting, Diana," he said rather cautiously. He could see the fire in her eyes and didn't want to make this situation worse. He wasn't sure how it could get any worse, but he didn't want to find out. Moving slowly towards her, he held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "Look, you know I want to help you, Diana, but marriage? Isn't that taking this bet a little too far? I mean I know Bruce pissed you off, but he pisses everyone off sooner or later. He's Batman."

She was still glaring at him, but softened a bit, as she understood what he was saying. Even she had to admit this did seem like a little much, but she still didn't want to back down, from her Mother or the bet. She needed him to agree.

"Please, Kal,' she said. Her eyes began to moisten and she looked very vulnerable in the moment. He rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head as he turned away.

"If you try crying again, Diana, so help me,' he muttered. "I was raised never to hit a woman, but …"

"Oh, all right, I didn't think it would work twice anyway,' she snapped. "I need you help, Kal! This is important!"

"Why Diana? Why is it so important you're willing to go to these lengths?"

He had turned back to her wanting to understand what was going on. The whole world seemed to be spinning out of control around him, but maybe if he understood why this was so important to her it would all make sense.

Diana could see the yearning to understand in his eyes. Her hands fluttered uselessly at her side as she tried to think of what to say. She had always presented herself to everyone, as a woman trying her best to live up to all the ideals hopes and dreams she carried on her strong shoulders, yet this was different. Telling him the complete truth would make her vulnerable in a very personal and private way. No one likes to open himself or herself up like that, not even a Princess and Champion.

"Why Diana? Please?"

She trusted Kal, but he was asking her to trust him more than anyone else. He probably didn't even know that's what he was asking of her. As she looked into his blue eyes, she hoped if anyone would understand it would be him.

"I didn't get the joke, Kal,' she whispered.

"What? I don't understand,' he replied.

"Yesterday,' she continued softly. "Those names Wally gave me, I didn't get the joke. Kara did, but I didn't.'

"Diana, that was just a stupid prank, don't let it bother you,' he offered.

"But that's what this is about, Kal,' she said. "I never get those jokes. Two worlds. I live in both of them but sometimes I feel like I don't fit in either one. That's what Bruce is saying with this bet, that I'll never understand and always be an outsider. What my mother is doing I know is out of love and concern for me, but also because she thinks I'm too naïve about the outside world."

"Diana, it takes time,' He replied. "You can't expect to know everything right away. Don't let what others think bother you."

"But it's not just them, Kal,' she whispered. Diana slowly turned away from him, her arms wrapped around her. "I have doubts as well."

"Doubts? You,' he asked in surprise.

"Don't be so shocked,' she mused, a small sad smile crossing her lips. "I'm not the perfect woman everyone things I am."

"Pretty close in my book." He brushed his fingers lightly down her arm and gave her an encouraging smile. She blushed a little at this.

"Thank you."

"Everyone has doubts, Diana," he offered. "I think you've done remarkably well handling everything that's come your way."

"Thank you again,' she whispered, a little embarrassed by his compliments. "But it's not being Wonder Woman or Princess Diana or even Ambassador for Themyscira I'm talking about Kal. Those are all just titles after all. I have doubts about where I fit, not Wonder Woman, but just me, Diana."

"I didn't know."

He could see how hard this was for her to admit. He realized he had always viewed her the same way everyone else had, almost a Goddess on a pedestal. She always seemed so confident, self-assured and completely poised in every situation. It was more than a bit of a shock to find out underneath all that she had doubts like everyone else. He reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze to show her his support. She returned it with a smile, but the smile slipped away as she continued talking.

"This is my home and family,' she began. "Themyscira is a paradise but somehow it's always seemed too small and that I didn't quite fit in. I could have stayed here and lived out my life peacefully as so many of my sisters have, but I always had this sense there had to be more. It's why the outside world always fascinated me. When I first left here and saw the world it seemed so many possibilities were opening up for me. I wanted to know everything, see everything, meet all the different people I'd just imagined."

She turned towards him and gave a little nod.

"It was a little overwhelming at first, I admit," she said.

"That's understandable,' he replied. "It must have been quite a culture shock."

"Yes, but then I met you and the others,' she answered. "I thought if you could fit in then so could I. So when Bruce told me we were from different worlds, it just brought back those doubts. My mother wanting me to give up the bet because she thinks I'm too innocent and naïve about the world just reinforces them. I want to prove to them, but more importantly to me, that I can do this. I want them to understand that I'm more than just the Princess or Wonder Woman; I'm Diana underneath it all. That's why this bet is so important to me. It's why I need your help, please?"

She was looking into his eyes and he could see just how important this was to her. In an odd way it was as if he were seeing her for the first time. This wasn't Wonder Woman or Princess Diana of the Amazons, but a young woman searching for a place to belong. He knew what that felt like, not being sure of where he fit in, so there was really only one answer to her. Rubbing his hand over his chin he eyed her and could see the unspoken trust she was placing on him.

"So you really think she's bluffing,' he asked.

"I'm sure of it!"

He gave a sigh and held out his hand.

"All right,' he finally said. "I guess we're in this together. Let's call her bluff."

A radiant smile broke across Diana's lips and in the next instance she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Thank you, Kal, you won't regret this!"

He had his doubts about that, but wisely kept quiet and just returned her embrace.

The Watchtower

As chairwoman and acting president, Dinah was responsible for daily assignments and coordinating with Jonn and Mr. Terrific the operations of the station and League. Jonn was standing at the monitors relaying information to the current teams in the field. Dinah was trying her best not to show how annoying she found Plastic Man.

She liked to think she was a levelheaded person and had a sense of humor. She was certainly tolerant, dating Ollie proved that. There was just something about Plastic Man that made her want to grab a pool stick and beat him senseless.

He was currently in front of her waiting to see if she had an assignment for him. His head was a propeller beanie and his body was a hula-hoop that kept going round and round. It only made matters worse that he was playing Stars and Strips forever on a kazoo.

"Could you stop that?"

She was just on the edge and if he didn't stop, he would push her over any second. His mouth transformed from the kazoo back into a mouth and he smiled.

"So have you heard the one about the man working in a dildo store, Dinah? A brunette walks in and asks him how much for the black dildo? He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one. She leaves without buying anything.
A red head walks in and asks him how much for the white dildo? He replies $50 for the white one, $50 for the black one. She doesn't buy anything.
A blond enters the store and asks him how much for a dildo? He answers $50 for a black one, $50 for a white one.
She asks how much for the plaid one on the shelf behind him? He says, 'Oh that's a very special one, that's $250'. She buys it.
At closing, the manager walks in and asks the man how much he sold. The man said no dildos but I sold your thermos for $250. Get it? His thermos! Oh, ho, that's just slays me! His thermos! A-ring-a-ding-ding! Ring-a-ding-ding-Ding!"

Dinah just glared at him as Plastic Man went into hysterics.

"A dumb blond joke, really? You told ME a dumb blond joke,' she said through gritted teeth. Plastic Man was howling with laughter and fell off his chair.

"Whoop! Whoop! Man down! A-ring-a-ding-ding-Ding! Ha-Ha! A-ring-a-ding-ding!"

Dinah slowly closed her eyes and counted to ten. She snapped a paper from the bottom of the pile in front of her and held it out to him.

"An assignment for me,' he asked between laughs.

"Yes, Moscow. The sewers. Look into it,' Dinah said in a very clipped voice.

"Russia, huh? I'm on it! Ja vol, mein herr!"

"That's German you imbecile,' she snapped. If Plastic Man was listening it wasn't apparent. His beanie had changed into a police siren and his arms and legs into wheels.

"EEEEEEEE-AAAAWWWWAAAA-EEEEEEEEE-AAAAWWWWAAA,' he shouted, pretending to be a European police car as he scooted out of the room. Dinah balled her hands into fists and pressed the heels of them against her temples, the anger boiling up inside her. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. It took several moments, but finally she began to relax.

The room was very quiet for a few moments, and then Dinah heard Jonn chuckling.

"Jonn?"

He turned and there was a smile on his face.

"His thermos. I just got that, ha-ha-ha-ah-ha-um-ah-hmm."

The laughter died on his lips as he saw her glaring at him. He turned back to the control panel.

"All teams are reporting good progress with no injuries."

Gotham Heights

Luck is a fickle mistress. You never know when it's going to hit or how long it's going to last. The best you can hope for it to ride it for all it's worth and hope when it turns you're not all in.

Lucky, Lucky bastard, Lucky rabbit's foot, Lady Luck, we hear these all the time. From the outside it makes no sense. Take someone at a craps table. The dice come around to them and they don't really expect to win, but they take a chance. As a joke they rub the dice on the bald man next to them and say it's for luck. The bald man isn't amused, but the person with the dice laughs, winks at the pretty girl next to him, blows on the dice and throws them.

He wins.

Thinking it's just a fluke, he takes the dice again, rubs them on the unhappy bald mans head again, winks again, blows on them again and throws them again.

He wins again.

A buzz goes through the crowd and someone says the magic words, he's lucky. This time the bald man doesn't mind quite as much when he rubs the dice on his head. The girl gives him a huge smile when he winks at her. He blows on the dice and then throws one more time.

A winner!

Now people are cheering. Others come over having heard the buzz about his hot streak of luck. The bald man actually bends his head forward for him to rub the dice this time. The girl moves a little closer, pressing herself against the man, sensing he's a winner. He winks, blows and throws, another winner.

As crazy or stupid as it sounds, the bald man and the pretty girl now feel apart of his winning streak. It's superstitious and has no real effect on the outcome, but there is no way the man isn't going to rub the bald man's head with the dice, wink at the pretty girl and blow on them before he throws again. In the strange world of luck, that would be asking for it to change.

When the man finally loses, he won't think that the odds or percentages finally caught up with him, he'll instead believe he must have forgot or did something different on that last roll. He tempted luck and it changed just like that.

Lucky is a fickle mistress. You ride it as long as you can and if you're smart you double down on your wager while it's with you.

Business had picked up for everyone in the group. Whether that was just seasonal or because back to school season is just around the corner weren't the reason in their minds. The ritual, the ceremony was working. Sympathetic magic, the idea of correspondence, the believed that an effect on one object can cause an analogous effect on another object, without an apparent causal link between the two objects. You symbolically sacrifice a Goat to Satan for help with your business and your business gets better.

Sure they had just read the instructions how to do it off the Internet and had no real idea of what it took to really conjure up the Dark Lord, but it was working and for now that was enough.

They were on a hot streak with this Satan thing and they were going to ride it out and double down. In Cubby's mind, that meant upping the ante on the sacrifices. At first everyone was a little leery of really killing a live goat as a sacrifice, but the more they thought about it, the more they liked it. If symbolically killing a dead goat made Satan help their business, then killing a live one would surely make him help their business even more.

With this in mind, they all finally agreed. They nervously headed down to Cubby's finished basement and took their robes off the bumper pool table and prepared themselves for tonight's ceremony Their outfits were all nice and dry cleaned, fresh smelling and very shiny. Cubby put on his pointy hat and turned to address the rest.

"Okay, everyone knows what we're supposed to do tonight. I want you all to have fun in there and let's knock one out of the park for Satan! Hail Satan!"

"Hail Satan!' The others responded.

Cubby turned and opened the door to the Sanctum Supreme, his converted den and held the black current back for the others to enter. Bob and Carl were the first in line and they were just heading in when something swung in front of them screeching. They both jumped back in surprise.

"What the hell was that?"

'I think it was a monkey,' Carl shouted. "Heaven help us, it is a monkey!"

Cubby turned to LuAnn in confusion.

"I thought you were getting a goat,' he asked.

"They were out of goats today,' she replied. "There was a special on former lab monkeys and I thought I'd save a dollar.'

"Didn't they have anything else," Dottie asked.

"Well, llamas, but they poop everywhere,' LuAnn explained. "Blood's one thing, but you're not getting the stain or smell of llama poop out of the carpet."

"She has a point there," Jenny added. "I live near a farm once and the smell of horse poop was just too much."

"We charge extra to get horse poop out of your clothes,' Carl informed them. "Blood, no problem, but poop lingers, believe me."

Ted Burns spoke up now.

"Look, I don't care, I'm not killing a monkey. A goat, sure, I'm on board, but not a monkey."

"What's the difference," his wife Marie asked.

"Well, a monkey's got a little face on him,' Ted replied. "I can't concentrate on chanting for Satan and stabbing him if his little face is looking back at me. It would throw me all off."

"I think that's the Pot talking,' Phil offered.

"I didn't smoke any today,' Ted protested. "I'm just not comfortable killing something with a little face, is all!"

"Doesn't a goat have a face," Cubby asked.

"Yeah, doesn't everything have a face, Ted,' Jenny asked.

"Yes, but those are different types of faces,' Ted explained. "A monkey's got like a little human face on him. It's completely different."

"Oh, great, thanks, Ted," LuAnn groaned. "Now I've got that thought in my head. I can't go in there and kill him thinking that."

"Now you've ruined it,' Cubby complained. "None of us can making him a sacrifice now that you said that!"

"I'm sorry,' Ted replied. "Look, get a goat, I'll dive right in, but not a monkey!"

"What the hell?" Bob felt something hit him and looked down to see monkey poop on his robe. "Oh, that's just great, he's throwing his feces!"

"Don't let any of it get on the carpet," LuAnn cried.

"Well if we're not going to sacrifice him, what the hell are we going to do with the monkey,' Cubby asked. As Cubby was saying this, the monkey hit Bob again.

"I don't care if he has a face or not, I'm killing the little bastard!"

Themyscira

The room was full of sound, music and conversation filled the air. Queen Hippolyta stood on the dais, a serene smile on her face as she lifted her cup and addressed the Amazons.

'Sisters! Allow me to be the first to present to you my daughter, Princess Diana and her new husband, Superman!"

A cheer went up as all eyes turned to the newlyweds. Clark and Diana sat side by side on the dais, both with stunned looks on their faces. Clark looked down at the platinum wedding band on his finger in disbelief.

"Married?"

"I thought she was bluffing," Diana lamely offered, as confused as he was.

"Nice call on that one, Princess,' he sarcastically replied.

Diana turned and punched him in the arm.

"Ow, what the hell was that for, Diana?'

"I hate when you call me Princess, Kal."

"Wonderful, this is going to be a great honeymoon,' he grumbled. He felt eyes looking hard at him and looked up to see Hippolyta staring. She didn't look pleased. They had already had a 'little chat' after the wedding where she made her views about the marriage perfectly clear to him.

"It was just a figure of speech, you majesty," Clark quickly explained. "I swear!"