A/N: Hey All!

So, you are all ready to go on a killing spree to find me after that and I wish I could say things will get better but...well you'll see.

Anyway, Ummm *looks for a distraction*

Rain soaked Jace in a white T-shirt anybody?

Oh, and you get to find out Clary's mother's story AND I'm sorry it has taken me so LONG to update, but I am currently finishing high school, so my focus is elsewhere at the moment, but you'll be happy to know that my two new stories (Red Eyed Vixen and Golden Eyed Jealousy) have finished the planning process!

Due to how long it takes me to update, I have posted this chapter un-beta'd so you all get it sooner.

R&R

Xoxo

CLARY LOOKED AT THE SADDENED FACE, THE ONE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO LOOK AT, BUT HAD LITTLE CHOICE.

Oh god, are those tears?

"You're...Your leaving me?"

Clary couldn't take it; she sat next to him and hugged him close. She couldn't leave him, he was so helpless.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered instead, knowing that she was going, no matter what.

"But, who is going to live with me?" Simon began crying, not a cute boy cry, a snot fest cry. Clary leaned over and grabbed a tissue, handing it to him.

"Simon, you're 24 you'll be okay on your own." She promised, hating to see him like this, today she was telling her classes and she knew one that would react the same way that Simon was.

"Clary, I'm gonna miss you." Clary smiled and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I'm gonna miss you too, but I'm only a phone call away."

Clary had yet to tell Simon where she was moving, and who she was moving with, that he didn't need to know.

"C'mon, we better get going." Simon said and then stopped. "We have to get two big chocolate cakes and watch dorky movies while drinking an entire bottle of red wine!"

That's what she loved about Simon, he bounced back. Jace, she wasn't so sure of.

Clary and Simon walked to his car, his arm slung around her shoulders, as if he knew his time with his best friend was very limited, well it was.

As Simon turned on the ignition and pulled out of the parking garage a song started that Clary that was way too accurate to be a coincidence, it was like a sign.

If I should stay,

I would only be in your way

So I'll go

But I know

I'll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you

I will always love you

Clary turned the dial and Simon gave her a look.

"Uh, that song always gets to me."

Simon crinkled his brow, damn him for knowing her so well, but he just shrugged, accepting the lie.

Clary and Simon pulled into the school grounds and saw Isabelle, Alec, Magnus and Jace appear next to them as they got out of the car, along with Sebastian and Maia.

"Uh, hey guys." Clary said, looking at Simon and shrugging.

"Miss Fray, Mr Lewis, I was wondering if you guys were, well..." Izzy stopped herself and looked at her friends. Maia sighed and finished Isabelle's sentence.

"She was wondering if you two were 'boinking'." Izzy went red as the guys tried to hide their amusement.

Clary and Simon shared a secret look. For as long as either of them could remember they had always been mistaken for lovers. It was always fun to correct them.

"Well duh." Clary said.

"Obviously, can't believe it took you guys so long to figure this out." Simon weighed in as all of their jaws dropped.

"He is geek sheek, who can pass that up?" Clary asked rhetorically while loping her arm through Simon's. Jace raised a brow just as the two teachers burst into laughter. The students were confused as they began walking towards the school.

"Boinking?" Simon asked and laughed some more.

"Oh yes Mr. Lewis, to the closet so we can canoodle before class!" Clary yelled as the two walked into the school.

"That was fucked up." Izzy said shaking her head.

"Well you asked." Maia commentated. "Now you have an answer."

####

Jace was waiting for the bell to go so he could finally get out of here, he had a music final to write, being the project was to perform a song of your own making, and though Jace had made many beautiful melodies, he wanted something fresh, something from his heart, something that was new and dedicated to the one he loved, but Mr. Morgenstern was talking like there was no tomorrow. Seriously, if Jace had one thought that he would pass Maths, he would have listened from day one.

"Now, your finals are soon and then you will be out in the world, and don't think you will be able to pass your exams with flying colours, some of you," and he fixed his cold black eyes on Jace. "Will be lucky to pass at all."

Jace tuned out and thought of Clary, his muse, and tried to come up with a song, but the only one that played throughout his thoughts was sung by the angelic voice of...Whitney Houston?

Bittersweet, memories

That's all I'm taking with me

So goodbye, please don't cry

We both know I'm not what you, you need

And I will always love you

I will always love you

Jace didn't know why he could only think of that song, he only hoped it wasn't a prediction.

As the bell rang and the day progressed Jace had this aching feeling in the pit of his stomach, telling him to see Clary, or stop her, he didn't know, but he decided to act upon it.

At lunch, Jace didn't head in the direction of the cafeteria, but in the direction of Clary's room. It was like she was sending out a tracking beam, because instead of turning down the English corridor, Jace found himself walking in the direction of the administration block and came to a stop outside of the principal's office.

"Well, if that is your choice I cannot stop you, only hope for the best." The principal—Mr Starkweather—was saying.

"Thank you sir, I am sorry for the short notice, but it just wasn't planned and all happened so fast." Clary said.

"That is alright Clarissa, now, it will soon be class time and I am sure your students will be devastated with the news, you have become quite a favourite of a few of them, particularly Mr Herondale, he up until now had never cared for any subject, except music one in which he excels." Jace heard the proud tone, Hodge Starkweather used.

Hodge was private tutor and uncle of the twins, Izzy and Alec, and when Jace came to town, he had also tutored him, but it was a lost cause, Jace only cared about music, but now English was his number one subject and English teacher his number one, actually, only one.

"Yes, he has improved, his writing is tremendous." Jace smiled at Clary's positive words.

"Well you will be missed, and I for one cannot wait for your return to Alicante High School. Goodbye and good luck, Miss Fray."

"All the best, Mr Starkweather." Was the last thing Jace heard before he walked down the corridor and into an empty classroom to decipher the meaning to all that was said.

Clary. Was. Leaving.

That was all he got out of that meeting, Clary was going, but where?

Jace deliberated hard about a reason for her to go, but he couldn't think one up. She had no reason to leave, she seemed fine, things with her and Simon seemed to be good, she seemed to enjoy her job and things with them were going swimmingly.

Maybe this has something to do with Raphael.

I hope, life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But up above this I wish you

Love

Why couldn't he get that song out of his damn head?

Because she is leaving...

No, she wasn't, Clary wouldn't go, at least not without telling him. Perhaps she was just going on leave, like sick leave, or holiday leave or maternity leave...

"Oh god," Jace thought back to the last time Clary and he had made love, no condom was used.

"Oh no, no, no, no!" He fisted his hair and pulled.

How could he have been so stupid. A condom is extremely I. M. P. O. R. T. A. N. T.

Was Clary carrying a baby within her womb?

Was Clary pregnant?

####

As Jace sat in English while Clary spoke, he was entirely concentrated on her stomach or any signs of pregnancy. She didn't look pregnant, but she could only be a week or so into it, so perhaps it didn't show yet.

When Clary finally put her notes down and looked at the class with empathy, Jace knew what was about to come, her baby announcement and goodbye.

"So, I have some news for all of you, as some of you know I love art, I love drawing and painting, hence the room." Clary had made it her goal to fix up the drabby plainness of the room and she did successfully having gold around the outskirts of the windows and doors and ceiling and then a royal blue colour going around the walls, the door now a deep beautiful red and various pictures, either hanging up or painted on the wall, were surrounding the room.

Jace couldn't gather why art was so important to a baby announcement.

"Well I have exciting news, I have been asked to teach art full time," the class seemed abuzz with excitement, except Jace he was panicking, he thought that was absurd, if Clary was teaching art she would still be here but then he recalled the conversation she had with the principal.

"That is so exciting Miss Fray! I should've taken art now!" Isabelle said, overcome with joy.

"The job is in New York." At that everyone froze, except Jace, he was already frozen.

Clary was leaving.

####

Oh no, oh god!

Was all that was running through her mind as she looked at the class, all of their smiling faces now turned to sadness, bar one. Jace. His face was a blank mask, and had Clary not known him like she did, she never would have seen the crack in those fathomless golden eyes. She saw the pain there and felt guilty and ashamed for causing it, but it was for the best, her mother's story proved that much. If she continued this affair with Jace, it would ruin her life and his, she would be left alone with a child to care for and he would end up in Jail, serving a life sentence for the murder of an innocent man.

Well, perhaps their story would be different, but never the less, Clary was not about to let history repeat itself.

One week earlier

Clary picked up the cordless phone and dialled the familiar number. After about five rings a voice on the other end answered.

"Hello?" The friendly voice answered.

"Hey Mum, it's me, I really need your help."

"Clary?" Her mother said with comprehension. "Clary what's wrong?"

Hot tears rolled down Clary's cheeks as she tried to fathom how to begin telling Jocelyn.

"I'm in way over my head, I met a guy and I have fallen in love, but it's wrong and now, I don't know what to do." Clary's tears choked the back of her throat as she sobbed.

"Oh Clary, don't cry, love is a complicated thing, I mean, how can it be wrong? Is he gay? Is it Simon? Your boss?"

"It's a student." Clary said, not registering that as soon as her mother asked if the guy she had fallen for was gay, she asked if he was Simon.

There was a long pause as Clary braced for the onslaught.

"Clarissa Fray! What is wrong with you? A student? A young boy?"

"I know mum, I know, it's terrible—"

"It's incomprehensible is what it is! What were you thinking Clary?"

"Mum please, I need your help." The tears streamed as Clary plucked up the courage to ask. "I want you to tell me about you and dad."

Another pause, this one longer and filled with apprehension.

"Don't you try and change the subject!" Her mother yelled, looking for a subject change of her own.

"I'm not; I just need to know what choices you made."

"Clary..."

"Please mum, I really need your help."

A sigh on the other end as Jocelyn prepared her next sequence of words.

"27 years ago, I met Michael Wayland, he was a charmer, handsome, wealthy, a good family, everything I wanted then and when he asked me out I couldn't say no. It didn't take long for me to fall for him and then, a few months later, we eloped, I was 18 he was 27 at the time. I thought I had the perfect life in store, we would be together forever, have children and watch them grow, all of it, I couldn't wait to start it.

One night, I came home late from work and walked into our bedroom, seeing him with another woman. I was devastated, I could not believe it in our bed, he was having sleeping with someone else, it made me feel sick to my stomach, the pain twisted me and I reached for the nearest thing, threw it and got out of there, but Michael grabbed me as I was running down the stairs and slapped me, causing me to stumble and hit the floor below.

I blacked out and woke up in hospital, Michael by my side, saying how sorry he was, it would be the first and last time, he didn't mention the cheating, but I never forgot, though I fell for his apology. But of course he would hit me again and again and for the next year, I took it, but when I discovered I was pregnant with you, I left, to save you from him. I hid with Luke who was my best friend and he offered to help raise you and well, our love bloomed.

Not long after you were born, I left you with Luke to meet up with an old friend, Josh Ashbourne, who was interested in selling my art, but I hadn't known that Michael had tracked me down and discovered I had started a new relationship, seeing as we were still married. He followed me to my meeting, thinking that this was whom I was seeing and he came out of nowhere, gun in hand and shot Josh in the head and grabbed for me, I screamed and someone must have heard and called the police because Michael was soon arrested. I recounted my story, but I was in shock over my friend's death and Luke came to the hospital with you and I was thankful Michael never knew he had a daughter. He was sentenced to life in prison for assault, attempted kidnapping, murder and rape.

I was so thankful that he was gone, and that you Luke and I could start our life. We married soon after and now, here I am, 40 and alive."

Clary stopped, tears flowing, her father was still in jail, but not until now did she want to visit him.

"Which jail is he in mum?"

"Clary, don't you dare go visit him. I made my choices out of love for you, leave it at that."

"Mum please!"

"Clary, Michael was obsessed with me, not in love. That's all you need to know."

"No, it isn't."

Another sigh. "Clary, I don't know where he is, probably in a state prison."

"Thank you mum, for everything. I love you."

"I love you too Clare-bear."

Then they hung up and Clary was overcome with seeing her father, she just needed to make one more call.

End of flashback

Clary didn't want Jace's or her love to turn into a twisted obsession, so she had to end it now and leave. Michael was much older than Jocelyn, and look what happened when she tried to get out.

"I know you're all shocked and I'm sorry I can't be with you for your final days, but you guys have made a huge impact and I won't forget you."

Especially you Jace...

It went unsaid.

Aline raised her hand and Clary called upon her.

"Is this your final day?" She asked and Clary breathed in before answering.

"It is."

Isabelle was the first to react.

"That is not cool Miss Fray; we totally don't get to throw you a party now!"

Clary smiled. "I know and I am dreadfully sorry for that, but I am having a goodbye at pandemonium, you are all welcome, it is on Saturday night, which I guess is tomorrow. I leave Sunday." Jace's ears seemed to prick at that and Clary internally cringed. She had forgotten that she told him that Raphael was leaving Sunday.

Good one Fray!

The bell rang and Clary knew that Jace would hang around to speak to her and she was right as the room emptied, kids saying goodbye. Jace remained at his desk until they were all gone and he and Clary were alone.

He opened his mouth to speak but Clary held her hand up.

"Oak Park, 7 O'clock, see you there." Was all she said before putting her head down to read. After a little while, she heard the seat scrape against the linoleum floor as Jace exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

Clary look at his empty seat and saw a piece of notebook paper sitting on the desk, curiosity getting the better of her, Clary stood up and walked over the desk, picking up the page and seeing what was on it.

My heart has been broken before, but never this much, this pain you cause is unrepairable, and yet I would do it all again, just to be with you.

Clary felt her eyes water, but blinked the tears back.

He deserves a future.

####

Clary was at Oak Park, awaiting Jace's arrival, she mused about what she might say to him. Tell him she was in love with Raphael? That she was going off because it was the best thing for him?

She didn't know, but she had to think of something seeing as his car just pulled up. He was wearing dark wash jeans and a tight white T-shirt, with converse chucks adorning his feet. Oh angel, how was she supposed to leave him when he dresses like that, then it occurred to her that he probably dressed like that to stop her from leaving! Oh, he was devious!

Clary waited under the gazebo, rain clouds forming, as Jace made his way to her.

"Well I'm here as instructed, what are we going to discuss?" Jace looked mad, actually Jace was mad and Clary couldn't really blame him.

I will always love you

"Jace, I know you don't want to hear it but," the rain began to fall, crying the tears Clary held back. "I'm leaving; this is a great opportunity for me and for you to get on with your life."

"Why would I want to 'get on' with my life if you are absent from it? How could I if I will only be able to think of you?" Clary shook her head.

"You'll forget one day," she had no hope of forgetting but Jace was young, he would.

"Not bloody likely," he muttered, she could just make out the words.

"Jace please I—"

"You what Clary? You wanna go, then go, screw Raphael, get married have babies, whatever, I'm done I am sick if being tossed around by you, sick of not knowing whether I'm coming or going. I am sick of it all." Clary pushed Jace out of her way, walking into the rain.

"I can't do this," she muttered and then thought back to the last time she had said that.

4 days ago

Clary waited inside the cold jail, wondering what was taking so long, the officer had her I.D., knew who she was here for, what was taking so long.

"Sorry Miss, but we have to confirm that the prisoner knows you." The officer said, handing her back her license.

"Why?" She asked, was this normal protocol?

"Well, Mr. Wayland has been in here for 23 years and no one has come to visit him, so we're a little suspicious that someone would show up now." The officer turned to the guard and gave him instructions.

"Wait!" Clary called and the guard turned back. "Tell him I'm Jocelyn's daughter."

The guard looked at the officer who was behind the desk. He looked to the guard and made a motion and the guard walked off, a perplexed look on his face.

"Follow me," The officer said. He led Clary dawn the dank and dark corridor to the visitor's cell, she wondered why she was taken here when the officer had specifically said that they had to confirm the prisoner knew her, and why the officer and guard shared such shocked looks.

She was sitting in a chair opposite the side her father would come in, a chair was there for him too.

"Is there any way we could be alone?" She asked and the officer looked as if he would say no, but then decided against it.

"We'll be right out here," he pointed to the fenced off area that he had walked her through.

"I can't do this," she said as she waited for her 'father' to come through the door.

Clary breathed in as heard the opposite door unlock and a man in an orange jumpsuit was pushed through.

The man didn't turn around to face her, he stood with his back turned, face leaning against the plain white wall.

"I have never gotten a visitor before, so you'll have to excuse me while I think of who would visit me." He stopped talking then and just continued to stand here.

Great, he's insane, Clary thought.

"My name is Clarissa F—"

Michael spun around and looked at Clary with shock and recognition.

"All these years, I never thought...No, no, she was, I mean, we were, she loved, no, not me, not you, not us, not...anything." He grabbed his hair and began pulling, Clary got up and started walking towards him.

Michael looked at her, his eyes red and puffy.

"Jocelyn?" He asked. "Oh, I knew you'd come and hear me out. I'm so sorry, but you have to understand that—"

"I'm not Jocelyn," Clary said. "I'm her daughter, I'm your daughter."

Michael looked at her, mouth aghast.

"No, no, no, no, no," He began shaking his head back and forth. "No, you stupid whore!" Clary flinched. "You cannot be mine, you smell of sin!"

"You lecturing me about sin? Look at where you are!"

"Shut up!" Michael gave her a look of filth.

"I'm sorry I came, I just needed to know,"

"What did you need to know?"

Clary looked at her father for a moment longer.

"If you even cared about anything anymore." Then Clary got up and moved to the door.

Behind her, Michael began laughing manically.

End of Flashback

"Clary, don't walk away from me." Jace called grabbing her elbow and spinning her to face him. The rain was still poring, causing Jace's white shirt to become see through.

"Jace let go of me." She yelled, but it came out defeated and quiet.

"Give me a reason." Jace said, his eyes glinting.

"It's over!" Clary yelled and in his shock, Jace let her elbow go. Clary looked at him, straight into his eyes and told him the truth.

"Jace we can't be together, not now and probably not ever." Clary said, fighting the tears in her eyes. The rain became heavier; the storm was on its way. Clary found it far too ironic that when she was saying goodbye to her love and giving away her heart, the heavens were telling her not too.

It's for him, all for him.

"Yes we can, if we both want it bad enough we can," There was desperation in his voice that Clary hadn't heard before and it made her heart stutter. She wanted nothing more than too take it all back and hug him close to her and tell him how much she loved him, how much she wanted to be with him, but she couldn't, he had to move on in order to live a life she had no right to intrude on.

"Jace you deserve someone younger, someone you can relate too, someone who can openly love you and I can't do that." She slowly turned, not wanting to meet his gaze.

He grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face him. "Please don't leave," Clary smiled sadly and pulled him down for one final kiss. She poured all her love and sadness in that one touch of their lips, all of her passion and the pain of having to let him go.

"Goodbye Jace," She whispered against his lips before turning from him.

And then she walked away, away from the only person she would ever love.

OH, yeah I went there.

Now there is your chapter, I hope to have the next one up VERY soon, I am going to start it now, but I also have a new Mortal Instruments FF and I hope you all enjoy it.

My updates will become more frequent once my exams are over.

Review

xoxo