Janus

Backwards/Face/Forwards

Smallville

In moments of crisis, it's always nice to be able to go home and that's what Clark did. Not to the farm, as he didn't want to talk about what happened just yet. It was still too raw, too painful to put into words. He'd spent the night in Gotham Heights pretending that everything was all right, but that was far from the truth.

No one likes endings. Even if we're the person doing the ending, there's a small part that will always wonder what if? An ending means the end of the possibility. Right up until the very minute something's over, we want to believe there is still a chance that things will work out.

As far as he knew, Clark had been in love twice in his life. Now both had ended for similar reasons. He was Superman. Apparently that was just too big a hurdle to overcome. That, it appeared, was the bargain that came with having his gifts. If having a relationship with someone, anyone, wasn't hard enough for a regular person, Clark had a whole set of other issues and problems to deal with.

As he walked down the main street, he saw other young couples enjoying the day. It caused a slight twinge of pain within him. The truth was, Clark didn't know what he was feeling. It had been such a calm, sad breakup, without any fireworks. Sadness was there, but mostly there was an overwhelming sense of melancholy. Things ended with a whisper, not a shout.

Perhaps he'd been spoiled growing up around Jonathan and Martha. He'd never heard either of them use the words soul mate, but they truly seemed happy with each other. Clark had thought Lois might be his soul mate, but then again he'd thought the same thing about Lana.

As he walked along the streets of his childhood home, he began to wonder if maybe the idea of a soul mate wasn't how it really worked. The notion that someone would fit perfectly with you like two pieces in a jigsaw puzzle seemed too neat, too the stuff of fairy tales. He loved Lana and Lois at separate times, did that mean he had two soul mates or none?

Maybe the truth is there wasn't one right person, but many people that might be the right person. Maybe life wasn't supposed to fit into some neat, orderly narrative. Maybe life is really a series of moments, random at best, that when we look back on them seems to form a pattern or destiny.

Wasn't his life a perfect example of that? Looking back it made sense, but what were the odds really? Jor-El and Lara had sent him off to Earth to save him. They didn't know Kansas from Minsk, so it really was just happenstance that his rocket landed here. They hoped some Earthlings would take their son in and treat him right, but they really didn't know for sure it would happen.

It was so easy to believe it was all part of some larger plan in hindsight. When you try and extend it forward though, it always falls apart. The past is always slipping away and the future never gets here. Mike Tyson once said 'Everybody's got plans... until they get hit.' Clark had just taken a haymaker. The dreams he'd had about a possible future had been shattered. Again he wasn't going to get the pretty girl and live happily ever after.

Gotham Heights

Diana sat at her desk putting the finishing touches on a memo to her staff from the coming week. It was just small things, hints and prompts to them to keep on top of certain matters. Being away from the Embassy, she still wanted to make sure it was running with the same efficiency and professionalism that she had set as a standard. Her job as Ambassador was important to her, as it was a reflection of the Amazons to the wider world.

With privilege also comes responsibility her mother had always stressed growing up. If she didn't care about the details as the Ambassador then her staff wouldn't either. An organization takes its cues from the person in charge. While her style might seem friendly and easygoing to some, those working for her understood that professionalism and attention to detail were both expected and demanded. She held herself to that high standard and asked for the same from her staff.

She sent the memo off and replied to several e-mails before deciding to take a break for some lunch. Kal had left very early and hadn't returned. Something was going on with him, but so far he hadn't told her what it was. Truthfully, it was one of the things about him that irritated her. Knowing him as she did, she saw just how stoic he could be. He tended to keep problems and worries to himself, not wanting to burden others. He masked it with a smile, but Diana was beginning to see through that.

Kal's stoic, cautious nature carried over to everything he did. His leadership style was directly opposed to her own. He would let everyone have their say, no matter how long it took before trying to come to some consensus on what they would do. This always seemed grindingly slow to Diana. Being raised as a warrior, she was used to the leaders forming a plan of attack and then relaying it to the troops. There was structure to her style and everyone knew his or her role. It was basic military streamlining of an operation for the maximum of efficiency.

Bruce seemed to understand it and agree with it, but not Kal. It was one of the ways her and Bruce were more alike than different. As two of the leaders of the Justice League they preferred to analyze the options for any given situation and then come up with a working plan. Once they had done this, they would share it with the rest. It should have worked well, except for two things.

One was that the Justice League wasn't a military unit. It could fight like one when the need arose, but for the most part it was a collection of individuals, hopelessly idiosyncratic in each of their own way. They were all used to making their own decisions and being in charge and rebelled almost on instinct against being given orders.

The other thing was Kal, Superman. Everyone just naturally looked to him as a leader, even more than they did to Bruce or herself. Others might be voted to run things, but when a crisis came up they always turned to him. From Diana's vantage point, Kal had all the natural qualities a leader needed accept one; he didn't see himself as a leader. He saw himself as just another member, a part of the team.

She knew it irritated Bruce as much as it did her that Kal's democratic, let everyone have their say style seemed to always carry the day. When she'd first met him, Diana had to admit she thought he was frustratingly indecisive. As time when on she started to see something else, though and had to reevaluate her first impression. He had no formal military training, yet an innate ability to get people to willingly follow him. What she'd first put down as caution was actually a deep concern that he was imposing his ideas on others.

With his powers, it would be so easy to impose himself on others. He seemed to instinctively know that's how tyrants are made. By letting everyone have their say, he was including them in the process. It brought those hopelessly individualistic members together behind a strategy they all felt they were apart of. Where it came from she didn't know, but he seemed to know what people needed.

That cautious nature she was realizing extended to everything in his life. Even their present situation he had to be dragged into by her. He was so good at hiding things, his thoughts, emotions and feelings that everyone bought into the simple picture of him as the small town guy, mild mannered and likable. The more time she spent with him, the more Diana was beginning to see the masks that he wore. She was starting to recognize that underneath that placid, cautious exterior there was another man. He was funny, smart and charming with deep passions and concerns.

Usually he never let anyone see that side of him, but she had. At the farm with Martha and Kara he let his guard down and his real self came out. She'd also seen it that night at dinner and then the nightclub. Even though they weren't talking about the kiss, she couldn't forget it. For that brief moment when their lips touched, they weren't Superman and Wonder Woman or even mild mannered reporter Clark Kent and Princess Diana, Ambassador from Themyscira, but a man and a woman.

Diana poured herself a glass of fruit juice and had to wonder about her situation. This had all started because of Bruce. He was such a mercurial man, so full of contradictions. She also knew he was a good man, a decent and caring man. That was what drew her to him in the first place and what still fascinated her about him. She'd started this to find the man under the mask and to prove something to herself. Amazingly enough she was finding out that Bruce wasn't the only one that wore a mask, you just didn't see Kal's at first.

The sound of the doorbell pulled her from her internal thoughts and she moved to answer it. Opening the door Diana was confronted by four young girls and one boy standing on her porch. They were dressed in various swimming attire, flotation devices and couldn't be more than five or six.

"Yes,' she said with a smile.

"Mrs. Kent,' the young girl, who seemed to be the leader asked.

"Yes, I'm Mrs. Kent."

"I'm Sally and I live down there,' the girl said, pointing down the street. "It's really hot and our slip-n-slide is broke."

"I'm sorry to hear that,' Diana replied.

'You got a pool, " the boy shouted.

"Tommy, shut up,' Sally told him. She turned back to Diana. 'We wanted to know if we could use your pool, Mrs. Kent. The last people that lived here wouldn't let us."

"They were old and mean,' one of the other girls added.

"And rich,' Tommy said.

"That's Tommy, my younger brother,' Sally explained. She rolled her eyes and made a face, before turning to the other young girls. "These are my friends, Britney, Tiffany and Ashley.'

Diana said hello to each of them.

"Are you a model? My dad said you must be; cause you're so beautiful and hot,' Ashley asked.

"And tall,' Tiffany added.

"Um, no,' Diana replied.

"Why not?"

"Is your husband a pro football player,' Tommy spoke up. "He's so big and you must be rich to live in a place like this. It would be so cool to have a pro football player living in our neighborhood!"

"If you're not a model, are you an actress,' Britney asked.

"If your husband's a pro football player, are you a cheerleader,' Tiffany said.

"I, ah, no, I'm not a model or an actress or a cheerleader,' Diana fumbled to answer as the questions came fast and continuous.

"My dad said he could have been a pro football player, but his high school coach didn't like him,' Tommy said.

"Your dad's too short to be a pro, Tommy,' Ashley countered.

"No he's not!"

"Is he as big as Mr. Kent,' Ashley asked. "You have to be a giant like he is to be a pro football player. Same goes for being a model, you have to be really, really, tall like Mrs. Kent."

"I'm not a model,' Diana repeated.

"Why not,' Sally asked. "You're really beautiful and tall enough."

"Um, thank you, but I have another job."

"If I was you, I'd be a model," Tiffany replied. "Pro football players always go for models."

"Models make lots of money, too,' Ashley added.

"So if you're not a model did you marry Mr. Kent for his money,' Britney asked. "Pro football players are rich!"

"Um, no, I didn't, ah, Mr. Kent isn't a football player,' Diana replied, starting to get a little overwhelmed by the barrage of questions.

"So can we use your pool,' Sally asked.

"I don't know, is it okay with your parents,' Diana asked.

"You're not going to be mean like the old people that used to live here, are you," Tommy asked.

"Our parents said it's okay if you said it was okay,' Sally replied.

"Well, I guess it's all right,' Diana said. Before she could finish the kids screamed with glee and raced by her into the house. "As long as you're careful. No running!"

Diana closed the door and followed them. By the time she reached the patio they were already jumping in the pool, laughing and shouting. Tommy was standing by the side watching the others.

"You can go in too, Tommy,' Diana said.

"He has to stay in the shallow end,' Sally shouted.

"I'm not that strong a swimmer,' Tommy informed Diana. "That's why I have to wear these water thingies."

"Water wings, Tommy,' Sally shouted. "It's so you don't drown in Mrs. Kent's pool!"

"I don't want to drown,' Tommy seriously said to Diana.

"No, I don't imagine you would,' Diana replied. She had to try hard not to smile. "I'll be right here if you get in trouble, Tommy. You can go in, just be careful."

"Thank you, Mrs. Kent,' he said with a big grin and then did a cannonball into the pool. The resulting splash drenched Diana.

"Your welcome,' Tommy,' she said as she wiped the water from her eyes. Diana wanted to go inside and change, but she was nervous leaving the children alone. She didn't have much experience with children, well actually none, so she wanted to watch them closely. They seemed so small and fragile. Diana found herself pacing the side of the pool watching for the first sign of trouble.

While he wasn't a strong swimmer as he said, Tommy did seemed to have mastered the art of making a big splash. Again and again he would climb out of the pool only to jump back in. One time when he went under, Diana was sure he wasn't coming back up. She kicked off her shoes and was just about to jump in when he finally surfaced.

The four girls weren't any better. They took turns dunking each other or seeing who could hold their breath the longest underwater. They seemed to be having a wonderful time, screaming and laughing, but Diana was on pins and needles. Her clothes eventually dried, but her nervousness grew. She moved all around the pool watching for the first sign of trouble, horrified at the thought of something might happen to one of them. If the kids noticed her concern they didn't show it and continued to have a wonderful time of things.

This was the scene that greeted Clark when he got back. The sounds of shouting and laughter reached his ears as he opened the front door. Even in his rather melancholy mood his curiosity was peaked. He walked into the living room and stood there watching the scene at the pool. He had to smile as he saw Diana hovering all around the kids constantly reminding them to be careful. That they were completely ignoring her made his smile grow.

He slowly walked out onto the patio and just stood there. Diana was so preoccupied with the kids she didn't even see him at first.

"Hi, Mr. Kent,' the girls shouted.

"How was practice,' Tommy added.

"Great,' Clark replied, not sure what that was about.

"Thank Heaven's you're home, Kal,' Diana said as she walked over to him. "I'm an emotional wreck watching them."

"They're just kids, Diana,' he said. 'They look like they're having a ball."

"That's easy for you to say, you haven't been monitoring them to make sure no one drowns and slips and cuts their head open,' Diana explained. "They're so small, any number of things could happen to them."

"Now that your husband's home, why don't you come in Mrs. Kent instead of standing on the side,' Sally shouted.

"Thank you, but I don't think so," Diana replied.

"Don't you know how to swim?"

"Yes, I know how to swim."

"You can borrow my water wings if you want, Mrs. Kent,' Tommy said. "I'll stay in the shallow end."

"That's very kind of you, Tommy, but I don't think so,' Diana said to him.

"I don't think she knows how to swim,' Tiffany offered.

"Why doesn't your wife know how to swim, Mr. Kent,' Ashley said. "Models are always doing fashion shoots in bikinis by the beach. They must learn to swim during those."

"She does winter fashion shoots mostly,' Clark replied with a smile. "You know, parkas and boots, that sort of thing."

"Kal, don't encourage them,' Diana firmly said to him. "I've already told them I'm not a model, they just don't seem to believe me."

Tommy had gotten out of the pool and came over to Diana and Clark. He pulled off his water wings and held them out to Diana.

"Here you go, Mrs. Kent,' he said. "If you stay in the shallow end they will help you float. I wanted to hear about pro football from Mr. Kent anyway."

"Tommy, that's very kind of you, but like I said, I'm a very good swimmer,' Diana replied, leaning down towards the boy. "You keep those."

'If you're a good swimmer, why aren't you swimming," Tommy asked. Clark had been smiling the whole time, enjoying this. A mischievous smile came to his face as he heard Tommy's words.

"That's a good point," Clark said, and then gave Diana a small push. She had been standing close to the edge and was caught off guard. She started to shout his name, but her hitting the water cut it off. The four little girls screamed and squealed in delight as they saw this. Diana went under, but then righted herself. She slowly rose out of the water, soaked and glaring at Clark. The water came up to her chest and as she brushed her long, soaked hair from her face, her eyes practically burned a hole into him.

"Kal!" She growled.

'Remember there are children around, Diana,' he offered with a grin. She sputtered, censoring herself and finally just shouted in frustration. Clark was standing on the edge and couldn't hold the laughter back anymore. He didn't even see Tommy come up behind him.

"You should swim too, Mr. Kent."

In Clark went and as he came up, Diana was standing right in front of him smiling.

"Why that little …" Clark started to say, but Diana cut him off.

"Children, Kal, remember there are children present."

It was Diana's turn to laugh. The girls joined her as they watched Clark glanced down at his now soaked clothes.

"I got you Mr. Kent, I got you,' Tommy happily shouted.

"Yeah, yeah you did," Clark admitted as he made his way towards the side.

"Do you want to borrow my water wings?"