Chapter 5 It is? It is? It is?

"I've really missed you Simon, when are you coming back?" Jeanette downloaded Skype at the end of January and used it to talk to Simon every single day. It was hard for them to find time every day given the 6 hour time difference. They would talk for hours usually about nothing, but it didn't matter to either of them. It was nice to see the other person for at least a while in the day.

"I miss you too, Jeanette. Nobody is as smart as you here."

She laughed, "Well, I still haven't found any sort of lab partner to work with that's as good as you. The physics 312 course is really tearing into me without you."

"I know remember to go to the tutoring sessions if you need to."

"That's the problem; they haven't found anyone that can tutor the class."

"Where are the graduate students?"

She laughed, "I don't know, they're all flakes."

He laughed and then paused, "I really should be going. It's 10 pm here and I need to finish an assignment."

"Alright, I'll see you later Simon."

"Goodbye Jeanette," He left the Skype Chat.

"If he only knew how much I love him.

"Brittney, the thing is Alvin doesn't remember a thing from that night. If he can't remember then it never really happened," Brittney had been spending a large amount of her time since the party at Theodore and Eleanor's apartment.

"I just don't know what to do that this point. He said so many beautiful things that night, well at least from what isn't hazy." Theodore usually kept his distance in these conversations. He didn't like to hear what all happened but the apartment wasn't very big, and, in the end, they would ask for his opinion regardless of how busy he made himself look.

"Theodore?" Brittney called from the other room.

He called from the bedroom, "What's up, Brittney?"

"What do you think about Alvin? What is he thinking?"

"I'm not sure; I haven't talked to him about it yet."

"Why not?"

"Well, we don't exactly bother each other with relationship advice anymore. I mean, we've both done it all before, we don't need affirmation of each other's actions anymore," he walked into the room and sat down with both of them, "if there's something I remember it's that he did want to get back together with you for the longest time after you two broke up. I don't know if he'll admit it, but he still had feelings for you. He's always had feelings for you," He walked back into the bedroom, "I have a paper to finish then I'll start on dinner Ellie. Brittney you're more than welcome to stay."

Brittney physically looked much happier, "I would be happy to stay for dinner."

The rest of that night floated on, the soft aroma of saffron rice filled the room. They tried to eat really well at least once a month. Saffron rice and Salmon was the meal of choice when they ate well. The three of them sat in the living room listening to old records and making small talk after that. The three of them didn't talk about Alvin for the rest of the night. Jeanette and Mary came over after they were off work. They sat together and the snow slowly fell to the ground.

They ate, and it was fantastic. Theodore had always had an innate ability for cooking. It was nice for them to all be together once a month and actually eat well. They couldn't afford it last month, but the record sales had really helped and Eleanor had been able to get a job this semester. Brittney excused herself, "Hey guys, it was fantastic but I really should go. I have a paper to work on."

Mary looked at her, "The one for our class?"

"Yeah, I've barely started on it. It's going to be an all nighter."

Mary turned back around, "cool, you and I can work on it when I get back."

She walked out the door into the cold and picked up her cell phone. It rang a few times before it was picked up, "Alvin?"

"Hey Brittney, what's going on?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about that night."

"Brittney, we've talked about it so many times I really don't think it matters any more. I don't know what happened, and I don't really care to know."

"Alvin…"

"Brittney, I feel like a broken record. You tossed me aside last year and I don't want to get into it."

"You cheated on me you asshole, of course I didn't keep you around!"

"Brittney, there were extenuating circumstances. We've already gone over it. I didn't want it to happen, it just did."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions Alvin. You may not want to have done it, but it still happened. Regardless of how you feel about it now, you still have to recognize that it happened, something you don't seem to do."

"I ," he paused, "I'm sorry."

She was stunned. She stopped where she was walking and almost dropped the phone. She was expecting to hear some sort of excuse, but he had taken her by quite a bit of surprise.

"I've been an asshole and you don't deserve to be treated like you're the bad guy. I messed up and you deserve better than me."

She started running, "Come over to my house, now. We need to work things out."

"I guess it's a process."

"It's one that I'm happy I've started at least. Most of the bad blood is gone now but it isn't anywhere close to where we used to be," Alvin had moved back out of the house and into their old apartment and Simon returned early from his semester abroad. Things started returning back to normal. It was Friday the 13th, February. The day before Valentine's day. Simon and Alvin were in their house; Theodore gave them back a couch and they were able to afford the place without him.

Simon got up and put on a Rilo Kiley album, "Well, I'm happy for you I guess," it played behind him. It's not as if new York City burned to the ground, once you went away.

"You guess? It's something I've been wanting for so long. If I could just to that point where we could get back together…" Are we breakin' up? Are we breakin' up? Is there trouble between you and I?

Simon grabbed them a beer, "Do you think you deserve to have her again?"

Alvin sighed, "No, but I'm trying to find a way to make things right. It's just something we'll have to deal with."

"It's just that, you've cheated so many times before. Can you actually stop? You cheated on your last girlfriend with Brittney while I was gone did you?"

"I did; how did you know that?"

"Jeanette told me of course."

"Okay mister holier than thou, what about you? Are you ever going to get out of this limbo with her?" Did your heart break enough? Did your heart break enough this time?

"We've already discussed this, Alvin."

"I know, but what I also know is that Jeanette isn't happy with how things are going. We talk; we're good friends you know." He looked smugly at him and Simon cleaned his glasses. Betrayal is a thorny crown and you wear it well, just like a king.

"We both understand the situation and we both know what we have to go through to ensure a quality life. The present isn't the only thing that matters and you honestly need to recognize that," revenge is the saddest thing and honey, I'm afraid to say. You deserved everything.

"I know that the present isn't the only thing that matters mon frère. I think you don't care about it enough," Alvin got in and put another record in, The Cure, greatest hits, "I'm feeling like the Cure right now."

"The Cure? I wasn't aware you were a fan."

"I'm a man of many fancies," Alvin lit up a cigarette, "Hey, do you want to go to a party at the house tonight?"

"A party the day before Valentine's Day? I'm not so sure if that's a good idea; Jeanette and I plan on going out tomorrow."

"Well, we're having out annual Friday the 13th party, and it's the only one of the school year. It's unfortunate timing, but it has to be tonight or we don't do it."

Simon thought for a second, "I'll go, but I doubt I'll drink."

"I'm the sober officer tonight anyway so neither am I."

"I've got to use the restroom," Simon got up and started walking towards it," Well, hopefully we'll all have a good time tonight. Does everyone know about already?"

"Brittney does so I'm sure she told Jeanette and Mary. I'll call Theo though," Simon went into the bathroom.

He called form the bathroom, "Yeah make sure he goes. I haven't seen them since I got back."

Alvin sat in waiting for his brother; he called from the bathroom, "Alvin, I remember you saying something about being really close to Jeanette," he exited the bathroom, "Although I find it comical I don't doubt it. She told me about an encounter you two had at a restaurant; The Cubical I believe it was called. What exactly happened after you left?"

"Oh yeah, that night. I've never really told anyone," Alvin looked steeped in though as he recalled the night.

Jeanette looked to Alvin, "Was that from Emily?"

"It's Brittney, she wants me to come over," Alvin dashed into the cold night. It was snowing and the roads hadn't been cleared yet. He dredged through the deep snow, trying to get off of Main Street. It was at least a mile walk to the girl's apartment. Every second he thought of all of the scenarios of what could possibly happen that night. The snow dissipated with every step. Alvin got a phone call.

"Hey Theo."

"Hey Alvin, we're about to lock up the apartment, are you sleeping here tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll be back in a while."

"Sounds good, just don't wake us up when you get back or there will be hell to pay."

Alvin laughed, "Alright, I won't. Later bro."

Theodore laughed, "later," he hung up the phone.

Alvin was five minutes away for their house now. Everything ran through his head now. We haven't talked in ages. I wonder what she could possibly want at this point. I thought we were done. I didn't think we had anything else to talk about. I cheated on her. She dumped me. Plain and simple. We don't need to be doing this anymore; we need to move on. Why am I even going over there? He stopped walking as soon as he realized this, Why? Why put myself through whatever is about to happen. He kept walking. Well, I'm almost there. It doesn't really matter. We've yelled at each other enough for a life time. Nothing could possibly be as bad as the first night after wards. He arrived at her doorstep. It's not too late. The door opened; it was Brittney. She was holding a box.

"Alvin, it's been a while, but I wanted to give you back all of the things you had given me throughout our relationship," He saw the box and all the emotions started flowing back into his mind. A necklace he gave her when they were seniors. A ridiculous amount of teddy bears lat valentine's day. Cards, love notes, jewelry, everything reminded him how much he missed her.

"Brittney… I can't possibly take this all back."

"This stuff holds too much pain for me, I just don't want it around anymore," The sting of a former love, the feeling when seeing him in another's arms. The pain rushed back to her in an instant. Up until that moment, she had held most of her feelings back. Her eyes welled up.

He instantly recognized her struggle, "Brittney, will you let me come inside and talk with you for a while?"

"Absolutely not," She tried to close the door but he jumped in the way.

"Ah shit, this hurts," his chest was being compressed and his arm crushed, "please, we need to talk," she pushed harder, "I'm not going to leave until we do," she let off the door and opened it again and he feel to the floor.

"Just come on in," she started to walk inside, he collected himself and the box of things she had given him, "do you want some coffee?" she had recollected herself and seemed to more angry than sad.

"I'm fine but thanks anyway," she looked slightly offended; he needed to tread lightly.

She walked back in, "Why shouldn't I just give you back all of the stuff?"

"They were presents; they're yours now not mine."

"Alvin, you're acting ridiculous, just take it."

"I won't, everything in this box," he looked through it, "I thought everything through and I took a lot of time picking out the perfect gift for every occasion."

"Every single one?"

"Yeah," he put the box down.

She picked it up and started looking through it, "well, how about this present," she picked up a bracelet, "what were you thinking when you gave me this?"

He looked at it, "that was junior year for your birthday," he took it from her; "I got it for you after we played in a show in Japan. You were going through your oriental obsession, remember?" she nodded, "it's made from Japanese silver, and," he opened it, "it has your name engraved in it in Japanese characters. I thought it would be the perfect fit for your recent love for all things Japanese."

She looked at it for a while; she hadn't even remembered why it was in Japanese. She picked up another object, "What about this one?"

"Well…" they continued going through everything in the box. Alvin explained everything with a well thought out reason. Minutes turned to hours. Before they knew it, it was 3 am.

"Come to think of it, where are your sisters?"

"Jeanette's pulling an all nighter at the library and Ellie's with Theo."

"Oh okay, I was starting to get worried considering it's so late," he stood up, "I should be going. I have a 9 am tomorrow."

She followed after him, "you could just stay here the night. There are two open beds and we do it enough to you guys as is," she laughed, "I think we sleep there more than you do sometimes."

He put on his jacket, "I'm not sure, I don't think it's that appropriate for me to be here with you alone."

"That's probably true," she grabbed his bag for him, "I'll see you around," she leaned in and gave him a hug. He looked down into her deep blue eyes. They were as full as the ocean, ebbing and flowing with all the feelings of years passed. He leaned in, an eternity in his mind. Their lips met, and everything came back to them in an instant. All of the pain and frustration that was present a few hours ago had melted away and all that matter was the two of them lost in time together.

"You can assume the rest, I didn't come home, Emily and I broke up and now Brittney and I are friends again."

Simon was still processing the entirety of the story, "well, why didn't you two get back together then?"

He looked down, "she didn't want to get hurt again and still doesn't want to."

"And you and Emily broke up because of that night?"

"Well, there were a lot of problems but yeah that was the straw that broke the metaphorical camel's back."

"So many things make sense now."

"I'm glad I could clear up everything for you," he laughed, "I didn't know you had such a vested interest in my love life."

"Brittney's my friend as she is everyone else's. You've caused her a hard year and we all have been trying to figure out what happened between the two of you that night," he sighed, "It's been affecting all of us; we don't let her know it, but we all worry for her so much."

"Simon showing his soft side, that's something you don't see every day."

"Knock it off Alvin, I'm being serious. You have a great deal to atone for."

"And I'm aware of that and I've been working on it."

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to ride you so hard but it's something that needed to be said at one point."

"Simon, I already have one father I don't need another one here. I handle my problems by myself."

"I know," He got up, "you're my brother and she's my friend. Despite me appearances I care for you two."

"I love you too!"

Simon laughed and walked into the kitchen, Alvin called to him, "Are you ready to go to the party?"

"Sure."