Chapter Seven: Atonement, part two
_Village Outskirts
Jaken lay on the floor, with his back to the grass, and his head to the sky.
He had stopped weeping maybe Ten or Twenty minutes ago. Perhaps Thirty. He didn't know. He wasn't keeping track. How could he?
Rin was dying.
Bleeding from the inside out.
He had neither the power or skill to help her evade it. It is what some would call impossible. Futile. But...in the back of his mind, in the depth of his heart he was wrong. There had to be a way to save her, to prolong her life...
She could be saved. He could feel it.
A cloud in the shape of a distorted moon passed by, And
A thought had occurred to him...
Sesshomaru had a sword of healing.
_Wedding Rehersal
I was to wait outside until a church official came out, and escorted me inside. My feet began to ache, from the straps of the wooden sandals too tight. It was beginning to make my ankles swell. There was a lot of shuffling from inside, and a lot of hushed talk about standing and sitting positions. I leaned on my left leg and tried to relieve some of the pressure, but that only worsened it. I was highly uncomfortable, but I couldn't complain. They at least gave me a reprieve and let me wear a casual kimono. Although, the obi was fastened extra tight to give the impression that I had a small waist, and desirable for childbirth, It was still better than wearing that wedding dress. It was highly intolerable, with its many clasps, fastens and accessories. To get a sufficient amount of air, I had to stand absolutely still, and try not to move my upper body so much with inhalation. It was a strain, but, I didn't let myself over think it. My thoughts kept going back to Jaken.
I had promised him, I would come back.
The moment flickered back in my mind.
The pain in his eyes, when he saw my blood. The forlorn hope, when I said I would return. The knowing look, when I walked away...
He knows that this will come out to be one of those situations where everyone loses. But, he didn't stop me. He let me go, and I commend him for that, because it is something I have to do. Orin, is a decent man. He deserves so much, and I am far from it. I will not have him develop feelings for me, when it will only last two, maybe three days max! That is not right...I could at least have the decency of telling him, rather than just disappearing from his life. That was the least I could do.
There were whispers about the ceremony and what will be said, and how the groom will stand, and I could feel myself become faint.
It was not from my, for lack of a better word, 'illness'. But, from the thought of walking into the church, pretending to be something I'm not, letting him down, and just walking away. It was making me sick to my stomach. I cannot recall when I had felt so much unease. It was..stressful. I began to over think, and over analyze my decisions, causing me to rethink this whole thing. Of course I felt guilt over Orin, and what this would do to him, but I began to think...What about me? Here I am, worrying about hurting someone who has their whole life ahead of them, when I only have give or take two days!
I could feel a surge of anger climbing its way to my chest.
Orin has his entire life to get over this! I barely have two days!
I'm wasting my time...
I should be with My family...Jaken, and Ah-Uhn. I should be picking flowers, singing,trying to catch fish for dinner, and asking Sesshomaru silly questions that hold absolutely no importance! I want to go fly on Ah-Uhn's back and soar through the skies, the clouds, alongside the birds. I want to play stupid games with Jaken, and act immature just to hear him yell.
I want to follow My lord, wherever he goes, and talk to him, even when it seems he'll never respond.
My eyes began to water.
I just want to be a kid again. When things weren't this hard and I didn't have to make so many decisions. Where All I had to do was smile, and everything would go as planned.
The tears fell.
I want so desperately for things to be as they once were. Growing up didn't seem so hard until now. I wish that maybe I would have been more appreciative. Now looking back, I had It good. But, I can never reclaim what I had before. Because you can't turn back the hands of time. You can't heal what's broken...
I gazed at the sky.
A cloud in the shape of a distorted moon passed by...
I scratched at the straps until the came off, and ran as fast as I could through the trees.
_The Palace
Jaken ran up the grand staircase, passed the bewildered servants, and down the hall. All was heard was the pads of his feet on the wooden floors, and the huffs of his breaths as he ran with all his might down the long hall towards Sesshomaru's room. His master had long since ceased to carry Tenseiga, and decided to put it in a glass mantle above his door.
After a couple moments he had finally reached the door.
Without even attempting to try and get it from high above the door, it fell. Without any sort of saying, or attack. The lock unlatched, and it fell to the floor. For a moment jaken stared at the sword, trying to fathom what had just happened, but before he could something happened.
It pulsed.
_The Forest
I had been running for almost a half hour, before I found an open clearing. It was a vast view overlooking a ocean in the distance. A couple feet away was the edge of a cliff, that had a lonely, wilted flower, at its tip. I stared at the flower with sadness, For this wilted flower, reminded me of myself. All alone, by itself on the brink of nonexistence. I began to walk over to the flower, captivated by our unique similarities.
"I would have given up everything for you."
I turned around wide-eyed.
"Why would you want me to forget you?"
I stared into his intense gaze and found that I could barely breath. I just openly stared at him. My mouth hang open. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say.
"How could you want me to forget you?"
He walked over to me slowly. Like a predator does to his prey. I stood absolutely still. Unmoving.
"Answer me!"
I jerked and my heart began to beat fast. I tried to say something, but the only thing that left my lips was air.
He lowered his head, and let his bangs cover his eyes. "You played me for a fool."
"No!" As soon as the word left my mouth, he grabbed me by my shoulders.
"Then would you lead me into thinking we had shared mutual feelings only to have it thrown in my face by choosing another man?!"
His talons were starting to pierce my skin, and I began to silently cry.
"You played me for a fool!" His words sent daggers as he spoke.
My arms began to throb. As much as I didn't want to complain, I couldn't hold it in any more. "You're hurting me."
There was sorrow in his eyes as he let go. He balled up his fists and turned around.
"Where is Rin?"
I gave him a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?"
He didn't answer me. I cautiously walked over to his side. "My lord? What do you mean?" I placed my hand hesitantly over his left arm. "I am Ri-"
He pushed my hand away, almost knocking me over.
"You are not Rin."
I looked to the floor, not knowing what to say or how to respond to what he had just said. I could neither agree or disagree because I wasn't the same Rin...
"My Rin wouldn't have done this."
"My lord?"
"You are not Rin. You are a fake."
I looked at his face as he stepped closer closing the distance. His eyes looked at my hair and observed the difference from my previous hair style. "An imposter."
He turned his back to me once again.
"I do not know who you are."
"I am the same person who has loved you, before I even knew what love was."
"Lies."
Fury began to emanate my body. I had left Orin, and was finally here with the man I love trying to rectify what had happened a couple days ago, and here he is telling me I am a fake? An imposter? That I am not the same person? I admit I had did some hurtful things, made some bad decisions but deep down I am still the same person.
"Then why are you here?"
His body tensed at my question.
"My lord, now is not the time for your denial. It feels as though I have been through hell and back, and I just want a little appreciation." I could not help the anger from leaking into my tone.
Sesshomaru turned and faced me fully. "You? Hell and back? No! It is I, who as been to hell and back, and for who? You! So do not presume to tell me what you have been through, because when it comes down to it, you will never endure what I had to."
I began to step away from him, fearful that he might grab me again.
"You sound as though you regret it."
Sesshomaru took a step towards me. "No, I do not regret saving your life. Nor, will I ever regret saving your life."
Sadness came over his face, and I reached out to console him, but he leaned away from my touch. I could see a flash of lightening in my peripheral vision. There was a crackling sound in the distance.
"But, I can say I do regret letting myself give in to infatuation."
His words were like a slap in the face, to every personal moment we had ever shared together.
"W-What are you saying?"
"You are Human. I am Demon. We are too different It was a mere curiosity."He glanced away for a split second. "Nothing more than that."
I couldn't believe this! He was..How...
I took a breath. I cannot allow myself to become angry because, although it may seem ridiculous, I had hurt his feelings. I had turned him away in the most cruel way. He has the right to be angry.
I took a breath. I decided, I would explain to him my reasons, and why I did the things I did, and why I am here now, trying to plead my case before its too late. Hopefully he would understand, and take me back. But, that was hope. And, these past couple weeks it has been absent, so I can't allow myself to put all my prayers in it.
"I love you..."He stared at me intently as I spoke. "But, I didn't want to hurt you. I thought maybe if I was to marry that, you would forget about me and resume governing your lands. I-I don't know why I did that, it was irrational and stupid, but My lord! You-you are great! You are so powerful, and strong you could rule the world! I mean...You have so much going for you and you didn't need me holding you back! You were destined for great things! You shouldn't have to worry and stress about me and my stupid human...things! I'm...I...
Sesshomaru put his hand to my face and raised it upwards to his face. My tears seemed to fall faster when confronted directly by his intense gaze.
"I'm human...I'm not forever."
I tried to look away and hide my shame, but he held my face. He just stared at me openly searching for something, that would confirm whatever he was thinking. I opened myself to say something else, and his hand dropped from my face. I couldn't help from whimpering, as he retracted.
"All I wanted was you. Whether you were forever or not." His words were spoken slowly, and he emphasized every word.
I tried to wipe the hair from sticking to my face, but it would only fall back into the same spot. Hopelessness began to fall upon me as I stood in front of perhaps the only person who had truly wanted me, regardless of time restriction we had.
"I love you and I know I messed up, and I hurt you but, I- My lord..."I began to plead, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He looked at me impassively.
"I think it would be best If you stayed."
Stayed?
"My lord, pleas-"
"You were right. I have other things to attend to."
I began to shake my head. "No, that's not what I...I meant before! No-please my lord, I want to be with you. I don't want to be here!"
He shook his head slowly.
It felt as though I my legs were going to give out on and crumple underneath me. I couldn't let him leave me. Not this time.
"I'm dying."
He gave me a patronizing look.
"I am!"
I began to cough profusely into my hand, but nothing happened. There was no blood-not even a speck. No proof of my impending death.
I lifted my hands towards him. "I'm not lying. Sometimes I throw up blood."
Sesshomaru gave me a serious look and began walking towards the trees.
He was going to leave me. I put my hand on his shoulder in attempt to stop him. I couldn't let him leave, because if he did it might be for good.
"I seen a fortune teller! She told me I had maybe two days, three at the most."
He kept walking, not even faltered by my attempts.
"You have to believe me! I'm telling you the truth!"
"Let go."
"No! Not until you believe me!" I began to pull at his sleeves. "My lord!"
His movement was too quick. "LET GO!"
His arm pushed me back so hard that when I hit the floor, I was momentarily stunned. All I could do was stare up at him. He had never put his hands on me. I was...shocked. Is this what it had come to? Force?
He looked at the patch of grass between us. "I would have given up everything for you."
"My lord!"
I scrambled to my knees and begged for the man I loved to forgive me. "Please my lord, Don't leave me! Please! Sesshomaru, don't leave me. You can't leave me."
The rain began to fall down from the sky making it impossible to see clearly. Between the rain drops all I could see was a white figure slowly walking away. "I can't..Please...Sesshomaru...I don't want to die alone."
He looked down at me with that stoic look, that seemed to care for no one, including me.
"Sesshomaru...please."
"No."
I lurched forward, but he was too swift. Instead of clutching at his legs, I fell onto the wet floor. Mud and grass covering my whole front.
I clutched at the front of my dress. "Sesshomaru...You're breaking my heart..."
His baritone voice bellowed above the loud sound of the pounding rain. "As if I had it to begin with."
I couldn't believe what was happening. I let my shoulders sag as I stared at him with incredulous disbelief.
His eyes met mine for a split second.
His voice came out in a whisper.
"All I wanted was you."
I reached my hand out, but it was too late.
In two steps, the trees had obscured him from my sight.
_The Village
I didn't know where I was going. Where I was walking to. What time it was. Nothing.
Sesshomaru had left me.
The world was dark. There were no more vibrant colors and beautiful scenery. It was just dark. And, in the darkness Is where I was. I had been walking for an hour now, and I don't know where I was. I don't know what village is nearby, I don't know if there might be a demon nearby and I don't care. Why should I? My life is over. I have no reason to fear death. I have seen it twice before, why fear? Me and him are humble acquaintances. He knows me better than I know myself. I could laugh at the irony. But, at this moment in time, I don't think I could. Such things as Joy, Happiness, Excitement, Laughter...They are now foreign. Things that I don't understand. Things that puzzle me, because I have lost all incentive to enjoy such things. With the realization of death being pressed upon me, and the fact that I will be alone hurts. There is no medicine, or remedy that could ease the pain. I was to die alone. Fate would see to it, all I could do was accept it.
The rain fell to my face, and slid off along with my tears. I didn't realize I had been crying so long. But, at the same time, why wouldn't I? I had just lost everything that truly mattered in less than an hour, I would never see Jaken again, I had lost all emotion and feeling, and I was dying. There was no reason to sugar coat anything. My life was over. End of story.
My bare feet trudged through the mud.
In the darkness, I could see a light..Some huts...and...
A man ran up to me, and began embracing me wholeheartedly as if he hadn't seen me in years. I was not interested in who it was at the least. I didn't care. He wasn't Sesshomaru, so there was no point. The man began asking me a lot of questions. He was moving his hands around and trying to invoke a response from me. I stared at him with the same stoic look, I had received not long ago. He kept talking, and his mouth was indeed forming words, But I could care less who he was, what he wanted, and what he was saying was not important. Nothing was.
Another villager came out and tried to usher me inside. I complied.
_The Forest
Jaken ran as fast as he could through the trees, trying to hold both the tenseiga and the staff of two heads at the same time. The sword pulsed again, causing him to drop it. When he was about tp pick it up something out of the corner of his eye, caught his attention. He glanced towards the sky.
A crescent moon...
Jaken went to pick up the sword, but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him.
The sword had turned black.
_The Church
They led me to the front of a building, upon entering there had to be at least thirty of forty people. They were all standing around as if waiting for something. Each and everyone of them leaned in as I walked closer.
The man ushering me came and stood before me, talking to all present in the room. "She is okay. We found her just outside wandering around in the woods outside."
A woman to my left spoke. "Is she okay? She looks as though she is in shock."
A man behind her mumbled under his breath. "She looks dead."
The man in front of me, began speaking again. "She must be in shock..."
A woman to my farthest right spoke up. "What happened to her?"
"I don't know. She won't speak. I don't even know if she can hear me." The man answered.
"Her arms are bleeding. Was she attacked?"
The man in front lowered his head. "I don't know."
A large round man yelled to my right. "I bet it was the work of a demon!"
There was a mumble of harmonized agreements in the crowd.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what was happening. All I wanted to do was just disappear and forget everything...
The man in front of me turned around and faced me fully. "Rin, I need you to tell me who did this to you."
I looked at his face, and realization dawned. It was Orin.
"Rin, I need you to tell me what happened."
I felt like crying again, but I held my composure. All I did was look at him. I felt as though I could no longer speak. As if, I couldn't even form the words even if I wanted to.
"Did he do this?"
I didn't answer him.
"Rin?!"
"Did he hurt you? Rin, you have to tell me what happened."
A man dressed in a soldiers attire raised his pike. "I say we go find the culprit!"
A group of men in a corner agreed. "Yeah!" They all raised their weapons in the air.
I shook my head no.
"I'm sorry Rin, but as a man, and as future village leader I have to agree with them."
I shook my head again.
Orin turned his back to me.
"The demon roams around in the forest. His palace is about a mile or two northwest from here. Either way we will coss paths with him"
The room broke out into yells.
"YEAH!"
"We will slay this demon!"
"This bastard doesn't know what's coming to 'em!"
"Finally some payback!"
The village soldiers began to walk out the door, ready to begin an unlawfully and unjust attack. I ran to the door and blocked it. I held my arm high on both side trying to prevent anyone from escaping.
The round man, moved forward and stood in front of me. "You dare protect a demon?"
I nodded my head.
"Over your village and over your intended?"
I nodded again.
He leaned his round face closer to my face. His black eyes scrutinizing my face. "Where's your humanity?"
I stood my ground.
A tall man came over and tried to pry my arms off the doors frame but, I held onto as tight as possible. My knuckles became white under the pressure but, I wouldn't give in. I couldn't let them go after him.
"Stop there's no need to be physical." Orin pleaded.
"Like hell there isn't!" The fat man yelled. "She's trying tp protect some demon! Jaru get her legs, and I'll get her arms!"
I tried to pull my body weight down, but it was useless. The tall man grabbed my legs in his arms and began pulling me from the door. The fat man, tried to get my hands, but I would not allow myself to yield to him. I held on, even when I began to feel splinters penetrate my skin.
"Stop! Don't hurt her!" Orin yelled. But some other soldiers were holding him back.
My grip began to weaken and without warning, the fat man pushed onto my chest in attempt to force me to let go.
It worked.
_The Forest
Sesshomaru walked silently through the forest. With his eyes focused ahead, he tried to make sense of what had just happened.
He had just rejected Rin.
Pain was not a word.
How could he abandon her? How could he accuse her of being an imposter? How could he deny her, when she was so willing to be with him again? Sesshomaru was torn between his deepest desires and his pride. He wanted nothing more than to turn around, take her from that mediocre village and claim her as his, But...Why? Why should he? He is a most powerful lord, who has more important and pressing things to worry about. He has a life to live, a legacy to secure, and a destiny to fulfill. One, Simple, Human girl should not be at the fore front of his thoughts. Sesshomaru let out a stressed sigh, he didn't know he was holding. He looked to the sky, in search of something to assure him that he had made the right decision.
There was a crescent moon.
She had said she was dying...
There was a beating sound; Sesshomaru snapped his head in the direction.
Tenseiga was calling him.
_The Church
I fell to my back hard. It literally knocked the air out of me. I felt as though I would suffocate right here on the floor. I began scratching at my throat and pounding on my chest. I couldn't breath! There was no air! My body began twitching from lack of oxygen. My forehead began to sweat as I struggled to breath. I turned onto my stomach and got to my knees. I tried to crawl to someone to help me, but they kept pulling back from my touch; Even Orin. He looked at me in fear. I felt an unease pang in my chest, and I leaned over my knees.
For a moment I blacked out.
I opened my eyes; There was blood all of the floor. I had never seen so much blood at one time. It was a large puddle in front of me. I looked up; Everyone was staring at me. No one made a move. The women huddled in the corner, and covered their mouths with their hands in disgust. The soldiers looked flabbergasted, and Orin? Orin was beside himself.
My throat began to stiffen, and became unbearably dry. I began coughing into my hands.
All that could be heard was the hoarse sounds of my coughing. No one dared to speak, let alone make a noise.
I slowly and hesitantly moved my hands away from my face. They were covered in blood.
Someone gasped.
I looked up, all the soldiers had their weapons at ready. A fair skinned man a couple feet away was the first to speak up. "We need to kill the demon, before he curses us all!"
There was a lot of mumbles, and many nodded their heads in assent. I gathered all the strength I could and came to a stand.
I shook my head no.
"Do not try and stop us wench! You are to badly injured to put up a fight."
"Yea!"
"We will kill the demon before he exacts his revenge upon us!"
The crowd yelled in unison with him.
I turned and glanced outside to see if I even had a chance of making it.
There was a crescent moon.
I turned back towards the villagers.
They were closing in on me. Each looking at me with malice in their eyes.
I turned in one quick moment and dashed as quick as I could into the night.
_The Forest (Jaken)
Tenseiga stood with its point to the floor, and its hilt in the air.
Jaken could do nothing more than stare. He didn't know whether to try and grab it or let it be. Of course Rin was in danger but, he had never seen tenseiga like this before. It was very unusual. It still hadn't stopped beating. Every other second there was a loud beating sound like a heart beat. Thumping, and thumping. Jaken reached out towards the hilt, but when his hand was close enough the sword gave off a loud piercing sound, causing him to drop to his knees. It started to get louder, with every beat, and the imp was at a loss at what to do. He could go and find his master, but he couldn't leave such a great sword in the middle of the forest. He could try and grab the sword but, he didn't want the beating to get louder. It was already causing him great pain. Jaken clutched at his ears, trying to numb some of the pain the sword was giving him.
There was small sounds along with the heartbeats.
Jaken looked up; Sesshomaru stood in front of his sword with his hand out.
Jaken watched in awe and in fear, for he did not want to hear the piercing sound of the sword again. Sesshomaru grasped his sword by the hilt; The pulsing started to slow.
Jaken looked up at his master. Sesshomaru had a bewildered look on his face. Tenseiga's pulsing began to slow.
Sesshomaru stood still and listened to his sword. Jaken looked on in confusion.
He opened his mouth to question what was happening, but he wasn't quick enough.
Sesshomaru disappeared into a ball of light.
_The Forest
It felt as though I was barely running. My energy was rapidly draining me, and I couldn't feel my feet anymore. After a half hour of running, My toes and heel started to become numb with every step. I tried to focus not on my pain, but on the task at hand-Sesshomaru.
Even though I left before the other villagers, they were slowly and steadily catching up to me. I could hear their yells, and protests behind me. If I could just find Sesshomaru everything would be okay. He would forgive me. Take me away from here, and we could be together. Although it wouldn't be a long time spent together, it was better than nothing, and I desperately wanted to be with him again. Life was becoming increasingly hard with every minute and I couldn't bear it anymore. I was tired of trying to fit in with humans, Act more humanly, and change my appearances to be more human. I am so tired of being something I'm not. I just want to...I want to stop. I don't want be that girl that everybody wants. The perfect girl that they try to mold me into. I'm so tired of it...
I just want to be Rin.
The numbness began to spread up to my thighs, and I started to become overcome with fatigue. But, I couldn't stop. I couldn't slow.
Sesshomaru was at stake. I would run until I couldn't anymore.
"There she is! I can see here!"
"She's just ahead!"
"She'll lead us right to him!"
My heart began to race. I was already over exerting myself, and this was no help. If they were in hearing distance then that meant, they were close. They were fit, and in perfectly good shape, they would no doubt reach me in a matter of minutes.
I kept my eyes forward. It was dark and I could barely see what was in front of me. My legs felt as though they would give out, and my heart felt as though it was failing me.
My vision began to blur and I could have sworn...I could have sworn, I seen Sesshomaru in front of me, turning his back. But, when I blinked again, he was gone. I tried to call out for him, but I couldn't find my voice. I tried to yell for him! Yet, nothing came out. My thoughts began to go back ten years ago, when we had first met. I remember he had told me not to bother bringing him human food, so I went to my hut to bring him some of the candies I had been saving for a rainy day. I was going to give it to him in hopes to make him feel better, because he was hurt so badly, but...There was a man in my hut...
My running began to slow.
The memories are choppy after that. I recall a demon...and, wolves...
I could feel my heart became erratic.
The wolves...I was running. And,...I remember the wolves were right behind me...
"There she is!"
"Catch her!"
They were drooling at the mouth and Sesshomaru...I tried to find him and I...
I was so scared...I was trying to find him...They were looking for him and I-I had to save him! They were going to...
"Catch her!"
I wanted to find him so bad...
I tripped over an uprooted tree.
I fell to the ground with great force. Its just like before. Ten years ago, the same thing happened. This time instead of wolves, it was humans. My own 'kind' was trying to attack me. It was kind of ironic. To think that all these weeks of trying to be like them, they would try to harm me. But, this is to expect with such things as human. They are lowly, and ignorant. They don't know any better.
I lay on the wet ground, with my face in the mud. Torches came into my view and surrounded me. From my view, all I could see where legs, and feet.
"Hmmm. It seems the curse has taken its toll."
"I wonder how long she has?"
"I'd give it an hour. Maybe two at the most."
"Ya' think the demon knows what's happened?"
"Hmmm. Could be."
"Should we finish her off?"
"I don't know...What do you think?"
There was a silence.
There was a sharp pain to my chest, as the man kicked me. He nudged my body over with his feet. "I'm talkin' to you wench! Do you think your life's worth livin'?"
My mouth filled with blood. A man came to my side, and turned my face so that I could spit. I looked at him with dead eyes. Even at my lowest point, at least Orin had the kindness to help me.
A tall man, with unruly hair grabbed Orin by the back of his hakama. He yanked him up and tossed him back. "Don't give her kindness you fool! She has put our village into great danger!"
"Indeed!"
"You are going too far! She's dying! She needs help!"
"Shut up boy, before I make you!"
"It's your fault we are in such a predicament!"
"Yeah!"
"Your father should have never agreed to a treaty with a demon!"
Their talk was becoming less and less clear. It began to become less distinct, and seemed to be nothing more than a irritating noise.
"I say we leave her here and go back to the village to ready our weapons for the demon."
"Here, here!"
"Let her stay here and suffer!"
"She has brought danger to us, she does not desire to have a quick and painless death. Let her suffer!"
The Villagers began to retreat back to their village leaving me on the ground. I turned slightly to the side. I could see Orin, being dragged away by some soldiers. He was trying to escape their clutches, but it was to no avail. They held him by both arms, ushering him back. Even with my distorted vision, I could still see his face clearly. He was crying, and screaming my name. When he was almost out of view, he mouthed out 'I'm sorry'. At this I smiled. Amongst everything that had occurred in the last day, Orin was still as nice and decent as the day I met him.
When they were completely out of view, I began to think.
I would have never guessed that my life would have ended up like this.
Never in a million years...
Its funny how one day, you can be perfectly happy without a care in the world and in the next..One decision can change everything and every one you know.
I wish I had knew that...
I began to blur in and out of reality.
My heart was beating ever so slow...
I could barely open my eyes. It was starting to become a difficult task to keep reopening them.
My thoughts began to drift to what the fortune teller had said. She said there would be pain and immense heart ache. I would have three days, if I didn't overexert myself. Its been less than a day, But I cannot fault her for that. I was over exerting myself this entire day. But, that isn't what I was thinking of.
She had said, he would be here...
My body was failing me. I do not have long. And, yet...He is not here.
He is not here when It matters most! When I need him!
Tears began to form, at the corners of my eyes.
All this time..I've wasted so much time, and I'm tired...I just want to...
I want to sleep, and not wake up. My life is not how it was suppose to be. And, I'm tired of living it. I'm tired of wanting something I can't have, and waking up everyday wishing I was a little girl again. I-I...Life is so hard, and I tried to do the right thing, and be a good person, but...Why did it happen like this? My life wasn't suppose to happen like this. I wasn't suppose to be on the floor dying, all alone...That happened already! Why is this happening to me...
I let the numbness engulf me.
I used to think that if I prayed hard enough, all my dreams would come true...
I know it seems silly now, but...
I used to dream about being with him forever...
My eyes began to fade and everything was going white.
All I wanted was him...
I felt my body being pushed upwards. I looked up through foggy eyes.
He stared at me with those deep, intense golden eyes.
I smiled.
All I wanted was him. And, for him to love me...That's all...
I let myself succumb to the white.
No worries you guys, this isn't the end of the story.
-Hayley