Communication Breakdown
"Push me, Pull you"
The Watchtower
Kara and Courtney stood nervously watching the door to one of the smaller conference rooms. On the other side they could still hear Mary Marvel screaming obscenities and trashing the place.
"So what are we going to do, stay out here all night,' Kara asked.
"We can't let her go home like this, Kara,' Courtney replied. "Billy would have a heart attack if he heard the things coming out of her mouth."
"Why don't you try talking to her, maybe you can settle her down,' Kara suggested.
"I already tried,' Courtney said. "I asked if she wanted to get some ice cream and she told me 'to go –F- myself."
"Go -F- yourself?"
"I promised Pat I'd try and not swear,' Courtney admitted.
"Good luck with that,' Kara teased.
"Screw you!'
"So much for not swearing."
"That's not swearing, technically,' Courtney countered. "Besides, this isn't getting us any where with Mary in there."
"Well, if she won't listen to us, maybe we could get one of the senior members to talk to her,' Kara suggested. "Scare her straight, or something."
"Batman,' Courtney replied. "He scares the shit out of everyone!"
"You are really piss poor at the promise thing, aren't you,' Kara observed. "Anyway, Batman's not here."
"Wonder Woman?"
"She's not here either,' Kara said with a shake of her head. 'Jonn's still here?'
"I don't want to do anything freaky with her mind, just calm her down, Kara."
"Yeah, he kind of creeps me out too,' Kara admitted. "So who does that leave?"
"I saw Plastic Man earlier,' Courtney suggested.
"I don't think telling Mary dirty jokes would help the situation,' Kara replied. "This is really that dirty little pervert Toyman's fault! If you'd just let me kick his ass like I wanted to we wouldn't be in this situation."
"You'd be in jail now, Kara,' Courtney stated. "You'd probably be someone's prison bitch by morning."
"Prison bitch? What world are you living in, Courtney?"
"I watched this old movie Caged Heat the other night, I guess it kind of stuck in my head,' Courtney said with a blush.
"Pat doesn't want you to swear but he's fine with Women in Prison movies?"
"He watched it too and really liked it,' Courtney replied.
"I'll just bet he did,' Kara said with a smirk. "Look, we need to calm her down. I'd take any of the original members at this point."
At that moment, Wally came around the corner. He immediately smiled at his two younger teammates.
"Hey, guys, what's going on?"
Kara and Courtney looked at each other and then turned to Wally with big smiles.
"What?"
"We need a favor, Wally,' Kara said sweetly.
They were being too nice, Wally thought, which put him on alert.
"What kind of favor?"
"We need a senior member to go in and calm Mary done," Courtney explained.
"Of course we thought of you first,' Kara added with a big smile.
"You make me nervous when you smile like that, Kara," Wally said. He turned to Courtney. "So what's the problem with Mary anyway?"
"Listen."
Wally looked at both of them and then moved over and listened the noise coming from the conference room. He actually blushed as he stepped quickly away.
"That's Mary? Mary Marvel? The sweet innocent kid that still calls me Mr. Flash?"
"Yep,' Kara said.
"I didn't even know she knew words like that,' Wally gasped. "I'm not even sure I do, well, at least not in those combinations. How would she even get your head back there in the first place? I don't think that's anatomically possible."
"She's rip it off and make it fit,' Kara replied. Wally went a little pale at the thought and took another glance at the door.
"Why me?"
"You are a founding member and Mary respects you,' Courtney explained. Both Wally and Kara snorted in laughter at this.
"I didn't say I did," Courtney said in exasperation. "We need someone to scare her straight before she goes over the deep end. Well, further over the deep end. We don't want her to become evil Black Mary again, do we?"
"No."
"Absolutely not."
"So what do you say Wally,' Kara asked.
"I don't know, I'm not really the scary type.'
'Just do your best Batman impression,' Kara offered. "I know you do one and it's really good."
"You think? I have worked on it,' Wally said. "It takes awhile to get the right gruffness in the tone, but I think I'm pretty good."
"So you'll do it,' Courtney asked.
"Yeah, why not, I'll give it a shot."
"Okay, we'll lock the door after you go in," Kara said. Wally started to nod, but then a thought occurred to him.
"Isn't she like as strong as Captain Marvel or something?"
"Technically,' Kara said, still urging Wally towards the door.
"Why don't you just leave the door unlocked, just in case,' Wally said, as he was starting to have second thoughts about this.
"Oh, don't be a puss, Wally, get in there,' Kara growled.
"You know, you are nothing like you cousin," he replied. "Big Blue's much nicer."
"I'm cuter," Kara fired back.
"Well, that's true, hey!"
The door opened and he was shoved rather unceremoniously into the room.
"What,' Mary snapped, turning to look at him. Wally glanced around the room nervously. It was a shambles with everything smashed to bits. Boy for a little thing, she can do some damage, he absently thought. When she crushed a chair and took a step towards him Wally's focus once again centered on her. Here goes nothing, he thought.
"That's quite enough, young lady! I don't know how you were raised, but this behavior will not be tolerated! I expected better manners from you!"
Mary stopped dead in her tracks, a look of shock on her face. Not bad if I say so myself, Wally thought. Feeling his confidence soar, Wally pushed ahead.
"Now if you can't behave like a civilized young woman, I'm going to have to personally kick you out of the Justice League!"
Mary dropped the mangled chair she was holding and bowed her head.
"Please don't do that, Mr. Flash."
"That's more like it. Now I don't want any more of this, is that clear?"
"Yes, sir."
The door behind Wally opened and Kara and Courtney peaked inside.
"Is it safe,' Courtney asked.
"Yeah, come on it,' Wally said with a grin. "You know I really think I've got the Batman impression down! I almost scared myself for a moment there."
While Wally was gloating, he didn't see the look on Mary's face once more turn into one of rage.
"You were playing me, you son of a bitch,' she shouted and then lunged at Wally.
"Aaaiieee!" Wally squealed and moved out of the way at the last minute. Kara had to rush forward to tackle her, but Mary somehow got a hold of Wally's leg.
"AAAIIIEEEEE! Get her off me! Get her off me!"
Kara managed to pry Mary's fingers off Wally's leg and he zipped several feet away.
"Let me go, damn it,' Mary shouted and continued to reach for Wally. Kara ended up wrestling her to the ground and Courtney jumped on top.
"Ow! Damn it, Courtney, watch where you put your knees,' Kara groaned, as she struggled with Mary.
"What the hell, she's a wild woman again,' Wally gasped, backing up a few more feet.
"Would you do something besides squeal like a little girl and help me,' Kara shouted. "I can't hold her forever!"
"I didn't squeal like a little girl,' Wally said in his defense. "Let's not be dramatic. I was just caught off guard, is all."
"She's not getting any easier to hold here, Wally!"
"Right! Right, I'll get someone!"
He disappeared from the room as Kara and now Courtney tried to restrain Mary.
"Let me go, you bitches,' Mary shouted.
"I am not a bitch, take it back,' Courtney said. She had a hurt look on her face as she stood up and crossed her arms in front of her.
"Courtney, what the hell,' Kara gasped, struggling to keep Mary on the ground.
"That was just really rude,' Courtney sniffed. "It's one thing to say nasty things to Toyman, but I'm supposed to be your friend, Mary!"
"Courtney! If you don't help me hold her down, I'm going to call you a lot worse than bitch, now get over here,' Kara shouted.
The door opened and Jonn stepped in the room, followed by Wally. He seemed to survey the scene for a moment.
"That's enough, Mary, stop this at once,' Jonn said in a calm, even voice.
Almost immediately Mary stopped struggling and looked at him.
"Sorry, Mr. Jonzz."
"That's all right, Mary," Jonn replied. "Supergirl, you can let her up now."
"Are you sure,' Kara asked.
"Yeah, are you sure,' Wally added. He was peaking out from behind Jonn, still a little nervous about Mary.
"Yes,' Jonn replied. Kara slowly got off of Mary and stepped to the side. Mary got up from the floor and just stood there.
"Come with me, Mary and we'll talk about this, all right,' Jonn asked.
"Okay,' Mary replied. "Can we have some ice cream, too?"
"Absolutely, I have some Oreo cookie ice cream I've been dying to try."
The two of them walked out of the room, leaving Kara, Wally and Courtney stunned and shocked.
"God, she told me to go –F- myself when I offered her ice cream,' Courtney complained.
"Go –F- yourself?" Wally said as he turned and gave Courtney an incredulous look. Kara gave her a look as well.
"I promised I'd try not to swear, okay,' Courtney said in her defense. "Rome wasn't built in a day, you know!"
Gotham Heights
Clark pulled the car into the garage and turned it off. It was late and had turned out to be a later night than he expected. One of these times he wasn't going to save Toyman and just let the chips fall where they may. How such a tiny guy could get women so pissed was amazing.
He pressed the button on his keychain to close the garage door and walked up the front steps. Clark figured Diana was already asleep, so he tried to be as quiet as possible. As he put his key in the front door, Clark stretched and gave a little yawn. He was really looking forward to some sleep without any more drama tonight.
Opening the door, he was greeted by the sight of Diana standing her nightgown and robe waiting for him. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she was tapping her foot.
"Oh, you're still up,' he said in surprised as he walked inside.
"Yes."
Her voice was calm, almost too calm.
"Couldn't sleep," he asked.
"No."
He closed the door and started to walk into the living room, but she didn't move.
"Diana?"
"Where have you been,' she asked.
"Ah, for the last hour or so, Metropolis."
"They don't have phones in Metropolis," she asked, still keeping her voice even and neutral.
"Of course they do,' he said with a smile. He stepped around her and walked into the living room. Diana was right behind him.
"So you just didn't feel the need to use any of them?"
"Not really,' Clark offered, moving a little further away from her. "It was just Toyman and his life was in more danger than anyone else. By the way, could you talk to Mary Marvel next time you see her? The things she was saying tonight would make a sailor blush."
"Mary Marvel,' Diana said in confusion. "Why were you with Mary Marvel?"
"Toyman,' Clark replied. "Kara was with Courtney and Mary and they had a run in with him. It took an hour just to convince them not to kill him."
"So you've been in Metropolis for the last hour or two,' Diana asked.
"Yeah and I got to tell you, I'm bushed. I think I'm just going to call it a night and hit the hay."
"You had a strenuous night, did you,' Diana asked, as she slowly started to boil.
"Yeah, tonight was a real workout, really more mental than anything,' Clark offered as he started up the stairs. Diana was right behind him. He entered the bedroom and opened the drawer to grab his pajamas and again noticed Diana was standing really close to him.
"Um, since you're up, would you mind if I change in this bathroom?'
"Go ahead,' she said. "I'm sure you want to get out of those soiled clothes, don't you?"
There was a tone in her voice that sounded a bit off to Clark, but then he thought he must have been imagining things.
"I don't know about soiled, but it will be nice to change into something clean,' He offered. "In fact, I think I'll take a quick shower too."
"Washing away the evidence,' Diana muttered under her breath.
"What was that?'
"Nothing."
"Okay, then,' Clark said with a shake of his head. Something was going on with Diana, but he didn't know what. He figured she'd tell him sooner or later, so he headed into the bathroom. He was just about to close the door when he noticed she was standing in the way.
"Ah, Diana, I'm going to shower and change, do you mind,' he said. She didn't respond, but did take a step back. "Thanks."
The door closed and Diana felt like smashing it down. He was going to pretend nothing happen she thought. Now she was livid. She could smell the perfume on him. Although, she had to admit the fragrance, Harajuku Lovers G by Gwen Stefani seemed an odd choice for Zatanna. No matter, Diana thought, it's on him and that can only mean one thing! She balled up her fists in anger. It's bad enough he's cheating on me, she thought, but he didn't even have the decency to call! That was simple politeness in her mind.
No, don't get ahead of yourself, she thought, maybe there is a reasonable explanation that doesn't involve Kal sleeping with Zatanna. She couldn't think of one, but then she had never been in this situation before. Everything about it was new, especially the emotions. She was angry and hurt and a million other things all at once. What's taking him so long, she wondered? Diana started to pace back and forth, running over all the possible questions that were on her mind. This did nothing to lessen her temper.
She heard the water shut off and immediately went over to the door. She waited. For someone supposedly almost as fast as Wally, he was taking an awfully long time, she grumbled. Finally the door opened and Diana couldn't wait any longer.
"Are you sleeping with Zatanna,' she blurted out.
"Wh-Wh-What,' Clark managed to say, completely caught off guard by the question.
"It's a simple question, Kal, are you or aren't you?'
"Where did this come from, Diana,' He asked, more than a little confused.
"Are you going to answer the question, "Diana demanded. "I think as your wife I'm entitled to know, don't you?"
"No, no, I'm not sleeping with Zatanna, Diana,' Clark finally said. "I'm not sleeping with anyone at the moment."
"Then where were you all night?"
"I was in Gotham and then …"
"With Zatanna,' Diana pointed out.
"Are you jealous, Diana,' Clark asked.
"Wh-What? Of course not, don't-don't be ridiculous,' she stammered to say. "I was worried, you didn't even think to call to let me know you were going to be late! For all I knew you could have been injured or doing heaven knows what or who!"
"Now that sounds like jealousy to me, Diana,' Clark said with a smile. He stepped around her and went over to the bed.
"I'm not jealous! I just want you to be honest with me,' she stated.
"Okay,' Clark said with a sigh. "I went to Gotham and did the interview with Zatanna and only the interview with Zatanna. I got a call that Toyman was in Metropolis and Kara hates him. I flew there and just managed to make it before Kara, Courtney and Mary tore him limp from limp. I finally got that situation settled down and then I came back here. That's it, that's what I did tonight, satisfied?"
"You still could have called,' she grumbled.
"I'm sorry, I'll remember next time, okay?"
"Very well."
"Okay then," Clark replied. "Now if it's all right, I'm going to try and get some sleep."
"Go ahead, I'm not stopping you,' she said with a tone.
Clark looked at her for a moment and then just shook his head. He climbed into bed and stretched out. Diana stood there for a moment. She was still upset and unsatisfied by how that had gone, but reluctantly walked over to her side and climbed under the covers. Clark reached up and turned out the light.
"Good night, Diana."
"Good night, Kal."
Clark rolled over on his side and closed his eyes. Diana was lying on her back and she glanced over at him. His back was to her. She sighed and tried to sleep but her emotions were all over the map.
"You know if you did sleep with Zatanna, you could tell me Kal,' she finally said.
He rolled over and looking at her in the dim, moonlit room.
"I didn't sleep with Zatanna, Diana, why would you think I did?"
"Well, she is a very beautiful woman,' Diana offered.
"Yeah, that's true,' Clark admitted. He received a punch in the arm for this. "Ow."
"You didn't have to agree so fast, Kal."
"Sorry."
They were silent again. Clark waited for more, but when it didn't come, he closed his eyes.
"It's common knowledge on the station she wants to go out with you,' Diana finally said.
"Yes, I know,' Clark said, not opening his eyes.
"You knew?"
"Yeah, I told her I was flattered."
"What did she say?"
"She was embarrassed mostly,' he replied. "I told her not to be."
"So you flirted with her?"
"I guess, a little."
"And she flirted with you?"
"I suppose."
The lights came on and when Clark opened his eyes, Diana was hovering over him.
"Yes,' he said. "I take it you have something you want to say?"
"I don't like you flirting with other women while we're married, Kal,' Diana firmly said.
"You mean pretending to be married, don't you?"
"We've been over this, Kal, our marriage is official by Themysciran law."
"We're not on Themyscira, Diana."
"That doesn't matter," Diana replied. "We were married there so it applies."
Clark was wide-awake now.
"You know, no one told me all these details back then."
"Well, be that as it may, I'm telling you now,' Diana said. "I take marriage very seriously, Kal, and I hope you do to."
"I'm starting to,' he said. He sat up and leaned back against the headboard. "So what else about our 'marriage' should I know, Diana?"
"You don't have to say it like that,' she groused.
"No, please, tell me, let's be clear about his,' Clark replied.
"Well the rules are pretty much the same as any other marriage, Kal. No dating being one of them."
"And no flirting?"
"No,' Diana said firmly.
"So does that go both ways,' he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, isn't this whole bet so you can go out with Bruce? Do these marriage rules mean you can't flirt or date anyone too?"
"I'm not dating anyone, Kal, you know that,' Diana answered.
"But you want to."
"I-I never said that."
"Now who's memory is a little foggy,' he replied. "It seems to me all these rules are for me, but not you, Diana. That doesn't seem very fair."
"I wasn't the one that spent the night with another woman, Kal," Diana fired back.
"But you want to spend time with another man, don't you,' he countered. "Isn't that why I'm here helping you win this bet?"
"That-that has nothing to do with right now," she said. "I'm not the one flirting and spending the whole night with another woman! One that has openly said she's interested in dating you!"
"So you are jealous,' Clark said with a smile.
"Oh, shut up,' Diana grumbled. "Stop trying to change the subject!"
"That's a lovely shade of green you're wearing, Diana,' he teased.
"You are not funny and stop smiling,' Diana shouted. "I can see it's impossible to have a conversation with you. Good night!"
She reached over and turned out the light and turned away from him in a huff. He gave a little chuckle in the dark and she reached back and slapped him.
"Ow, careful, Diana, that was a little close."
"I know,' she said.
He reached over and gently put his hand on her shoulder.
"Diana?"
She didn't turn to look at him.
"Diana, come on,' he said. "Please?"
Finally she turned over to look at him.
"I'm not cheating on you with Zatanna. She's just a friend, okay? I told her while I was flattered things were too crazy right now for me to date anyone. I also said besides, I'm married at the moment. She understands and actually wished us luck, so there's nothing to worried about, okay?"
Diana suddenly felt relieved for some strange reason. All the unfamiliar emotions that had been swirling around in her mind seemed to vanish.
"I'm also sorry I didn't call,' he whispered. "Next time I will, promise."
"Thank you, Kal."
"You're welcome,' he said with a smile. "Now why don't we get some sleep? You have nothing to worried about, okay? I made a promise to see this through, so for the whole thirty days I'll play by the rules and act like your husband."
"Okay,' she said.
They looked at each other and then finally rolled over to go to sleep. As Diana lay on her side thinking how silly all her worries had been, a thought suddenly entered her mind. Thirty days. She'd almost forgotten they were only going to be married for thirty days. Her smile disappeared.