Party Girl
"Floating"
Gotham Heights
It was just before dawn and all the world seemed asleep. Clark sat on the edge of the pool, his legs dangling in the water. The steam from the warm water swirled all around him. He didn't feel like swimming laps anymore. Tilting his head back he looked up at the stars. There were moments when he felt so human that it was hard to believe he wasn't from here.
Reality always had a way of finding him, though.
In all the confusion and excitement of the past few days, a single basic fact had slipped his mind. He couldn't go to Zatanna's show with Diana as his date. He was mild mannered Clark Kent and she was Princess Diana, Ambassador of the Amazons and Wonder Woman. She had no secret identity to protect, while he most certainly did.
Maybe those dreams we have in our youth never really go away. The idea of just once showing up somewhere with the prettiest girl on his arm still had a powerful pull on him. It almost made him forget that protecting his secret identity wasn't for his safety, but others. Ma Kent, Lana, Lois, Jimmy, Perry and countless others unknowingly depended on him keeping that secret. He couldn't put the youthful desires he might still have over the safety of others.
The hard reality was that lives depended on him keeping his secret.
The saddest part was he finally realized he was falling for Diana. Out here, alone, he could admit it, if only to himself. He wasn't a man ruled by his passions, but he was realizing that didn't apply when it came to Diana. He wanted her. Perhaps he always had, but these two weeks had brought that simple fact home. He'd been in love before, so he knew these feelings only too well.
Out here in the suburbs, in this make believe life it actually seemed possible. He now realized he'd done the very thing he told himself not to, he'd fallen for the illusion. He'd been kidding himself all this time. He hadn't even admitted it to himself at first, but now he finally could. As selfish as it seemed, Clark didn't want Diana to fall in love with Bruce, he wanted her to fall in love with him.
That was the illusion though; the reality was something far different.
Playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne could date Wonder Woman and no one would bat an eye. Oh, there would be the gossip about the two of them, but for the most part everyone would understand. Mild mannered Clark Kent dating Wonder Woman would raise a lot more questions. The questions would bring the very thing he'd worked his whole life to avoid, attention. Clark found himself envying Bruce and perhaps more than a little jealous of him.
He knew he shouldn't be, as he'd learned the lesson long ago, the captain of the football team always gets the pretty cheerleader. Life was just high school with money, someone had once said. They had meant it as a joke, but the best jokes always have a bit of truth in them. Most people like to believe they've changed since high school, but they really haven't. They might be a more sophisticated version or more successful, but somewhere deep inside that kid they were in high school remains.
If you don't believe it, go to a high school reunion sometime. It doesn't even have to be your own. Watch how quickly people fall back into those roles they once had. A certain group will be there just to relive their glory days, the peak moment of their lives. Another group will be there to prove everybody wrong and try to impress people they haven't seen in years.
In high school, Clark had created the role he would play the rest of his life. It was a life of blending in, not being noticed. Over the years he'd come to accept it and even grow comfortable in it. He realized now that Diana would never fit in that life. If he gave up being Clark Kent then they would have a chance. As Superman no one would think twice if he started dating Wonder Woman. The problem with that idea was he didn't want to give up being Clark Kent. That was who he really was, not Superman. Superman was just a job, a costume he put on.
In the same sense he wasn't interested in Wonder Woman. She wasn't the person he'd been falling for the last two weeks. The woman he wanted was Diana. Wonder Woman was a Goddess, perfect to most eyes. Diana had her flaws. She could be hot tempered, a little spoiled, though you took your life in your hands if you pointed it out to her. She might be the neatest person Clark had ever met, along with being the most competitive. Still he liked her foibles. He liked that she got mad at him for calling her Princess, while seemingly oblivious to everyone else doing it.
Diana was who he wanted, but the reality was he couldn't have her.
The two weeks would be over sooner than they could imagine and then it would be back to their real, regular lives. She would go back to Washington and her roles as Ambassador and Wonder Woman. He would go back to Metropolis to his roles as mild mannered reporter and Superman. A sad smile crossed his lips as he realized Bruce had been right, only he'd gotten the two worlds wrong.
Diana was the representative of her people, an emissary chosen by their Gods. Clark was the last of his people and represented nobody but himself. Her life was in front of the cameras, while his was behind them. To ask Diana to share his world, Clark knew he would be subjecting her to more days like yesterday. It was fun and novel for a month, but to ask her to live this life full time seemed terribly wrong to him. She was still so new to this world and there were so many interesting things and people and experiences for her to have. Asking her to share his life would cut her off from most of them.
He also knew he could only live in her world as Superman. There was no place for Clark Kent.
So he would help her win this bet and not say anything as she moved on. He would be the friend she needed. If Bruce wasn't smart enough to recognize what they might have, there would be another. Women as special as Diana didn't suffer from lack of suitors. She would eventually find that special someone and Clark would do his best to put on a smile and support her. He would try and move on too. He wouldn't complicate things by telling her just how he felt about her.
Maybe it's better he realize it now, Clark thought. The sting of his failed relationship with Lois was still there. He'd tried so hard to make it work, yet the look of resignation on her face that last time still haunted him. It was as if the fight had been drained out of her and she was finally just admitting the inevitable.
That was the course all his relationships ended up taking it seemed. Looking back, he realized Lana had that same look. Jonathan Kent had once said that everything has a price and sooner or later it has to be paid. Clark hadn't understood what he was talking about back then, but now he was starting to. Maybe being Superman came with a price too. Perhaps the very things that made it possible for him to help so many would also always cost him any chance at a normal life.
Clark glanced up at the bedroom window and knew Diana was still sleeping. He knew he would have to tell her they couldn't go to the show together. He wasn't looking forward to it, but it had to be done.
He knew now he would never get to say it to her, but just once he wanted to say it out loud.
"Diana, I'm in love with you."
The words disappeared into the early morning silence. The steam from the pool swirled and drifted, giving everything an otherworldly appearance. Clark looked away from the bedroom window and dove into the pool. His arm emerged from the water and knifed forward. He began swimming as if he had miles to go.
Gotham Heights – Later that evening
Sometimes the simplest compliments are the best. As Diana came down the stairs in her new Vera Wang red poppy one shoulder silk wool dress, the only word that came out of Clark's mouth was 'Wow."
"I'm glad you like it,' she said with a big smile.
"Wow,' he repeated, as no other words seemed to do how she looked justice.
"Thank you."
Diana was beaming. She felt wonderful, sexy and very desirable. It was the way she imagined she would look when she saw the dress in the store. It was going to be a wonderful night, she thought.
"Shall we go,' she asked.
Clark looked at her for a moment, realizing he couldn't put this off any longer.
"About tonight, Diana,' he began.