She wanted to jump.
It was ridiculous, this urge to throw herself down the steep drop without a thought, as though something was struggling to fly out from beneath her ribs. If she gave in, she'd be trapped down there while Demetri was left above to make decisions. She hadn't come all this way just to put Edward's life in someone else's hands. A breath helped her settle and think. Edward hadn't said anything since, "Please." He'd be reading her thoughts now, though what he'd make of the random image in her head of a trapped bird or of herself freefalling toward him, she had no idea.
Give me a moment to get you out of there, Edward. Remember not to let the tracker know that you read minds. You must have things that need to be said, and I want to know who did this to you, but now is not the time.
He didn't even nod, which was either a sign that he was being careful around Demetri or evidence that he'd shut down under the stress of captivity.
"What do you want to do?" Demetri asked.
The drop was around fifty feet and so sheer that, had she not seen the ground open up like this in her early centuries, she would've thought a machine had been used to punch a straight cylinder out of earth. There was no way Edward could jump up on his own, which was why someone had put him here of course. She looked around. The tallest trees were perhaps thirty feet high.
"Give me a hand," she said.
Demetri followed her to the closest palm, and together they pulled it from the dirt and tugged to release it from vines and branches, until with a crash they'd thrown it down on its side, Bella up to her elbows in palm fronds and Demetri grasping the roots. She walked backwards, watching over her shoulder for the edge of the pit and feeling for any indication that Demetri would use the tree to push her over the edge.
"Move as far back as you can, Edward," she called.
Dark water rippled out from his knees, and once he was safely out of the way, Bella passed the tree down until she and Demetri were holding the roots and there was nothing left but to drop it straight down so that it hit the bottom near the middle of the sinkhole and then fell back with the length braced against the wall of the pit. She didn't need to tell Edward to climb. Before the tree had stopped shuddering, he was hugging the angled trunk, using his feet to push himself higher. His captor had obviously fed him. If it hadn't been clear from the bluish bodies below, his strength proved it. Once he reached the roots of the upturned tree, he was close enough to jump, and he pulled himself up so that he lay curled on the ground at Bella's feet. Free.
She leaned down, and he flinched. Well…
She told herself she didn't actually need to put her hands on him; it was only an ache. One that felt hollow and reminded her of the time she went far too long with no blood to sustain her, but it was still just a sensation. Newborns could be wary of touch at the best of times, and Edward might be in shock. Anyway, now was the time for the series of events she'd mapped out for him. The sooner they were on the move the better, because she'd need to get Edward at least one hundred miles from here in order to feel that he was safely hidden away while she returned for Ginnie.
He rolled onto his back and looked up at the night sky, chest heaving as if he needed the air.
"We should go back," Demetri said.
Edward threw an arm over his face.
"Give me a few minutes alone with him," Bella said.
"But we –"
"A few minutes."
Demetri relented and after a brief look at Edward, turned and headed in the direction that the werewolf guard had fled. In only moments he had disappeared into the trees, but she waited a while longer before she dropped onto the spongy moss.
"He's trying to phone Aro," Edward said. "He can't get reception. No one's told him anything, and he's not sure what to do now that you've found me."
His flat monotone was more unsettling than any outburst would have been. She'd half expected his first words to be a surprised You came.
"Why would it surprise me? I knew you would come." He let his arm fall to the side and turned his red eyes toward her. They made him look like a stranger, something feral.
"You're different as well," he said.
"How do you mean?"
"You look the same, but your thoughts are much busier."
"I've come a long way from home. And I've been…"
"Worried," he said.
"Yes." She gave in to the need to run her hand down his arm to his wrist, and he didn't pull back this time as she slid her fingers across his muddy palm. "Worried."
He nodded and looked back to the sky, but he closed his hand around hers.
"It was Marcus who gave the order," he said.
She wasn't expecting that, not after spotting the werewolf guard. She'd be paying the Volturi another visit. Marcus did nothing on his own, so Caius was behind this after all, perhaps along with Aro, but with Marcus giving the order, they could truthfully say they didn't do it themselves. They probably knew about Ginnie's gift. Did they know about Edward's?
"I don't think they do. The woman, the werewolf… She was supposed to make you think Enkidu was behind everything. The Volturi hoped you'd try to kill him. But they don't know that I could read her thoughts. Caius broke her down when they captured her. Beatings. Sleep deprivation. She has a son – a troublemaker, fifteen – but still her son. They've got him in Volterra. In the end that's how they got her to turn on Enkidu. There are others still loyal to him though. They're like some religious cult."
She nodded.
"You knew that already." Edward paused a moment and then sat up, his legs still stretched out in front. His jeans were filthy and soaked with a greenish slime. For a moment he just listened to her mind. "Bat's granddaughter is here?"
"She's with Enkidu."
"Unless I've lost it, which is entirely possible, Demetri wants her back in one piece."
"I know. That could prove useful," she said. "Let me help you up." It was time to get moving.
"I'm not going to just run along and…" He shook his head. "Fuck, I don't even need to hunt. Can you believe it? I'm always craving it, but I'm so…"
He covered his face with his free hand, and Bella thought perhaps she should put her arms around him, but then again, he might need the opposite of what her instincts were telling her.
"No, I'm… You can't know how I feel now that you're here," he said, "and not just because I'm out of that cesspit. Just for you to be... I'm sorry, my head's not on straight. There's been this rush from the blood, and they just threw them down alive, and one wasn't killed by the drop, but he was close, everything broken and bloody. I tried… tried to turn him, but I couldn't make myself stop; I couldn't stop… I've been waiting, knowing you were going to be here, but I didn't know when. I thought it would take longer."
"I had help."
"The tracker."
She nodded.
"Caius didn't tell him anything. Demetri thinks Enkidu came after me… some attempt to get you back."
"Enkidu doesn't work that way. He expects me to come back to him because I owe him a debt."
"And what exactly do you owe him?" Edward sounded surprisingly bitter, but perhaps it was a good sign. Whatever numbing shock he'd been feeling seemed to be losing its hold on him.
"My life."
"You think you owe him something, what, for biting you?"
"You may understand one day," she said. Edward rolled his eyes at that, but she pushed on. "Human life was just a moment for me. It seems like nothing in the wake of all the time that's been given to me since."
"But you could have grown old, had a human life."
"I was about to be murdered when Enkidu intervened. Men from our village, men I'd known since birth, had come together and decided, and it wasn't just that my mother had been a woman on her own and a healer. That was bad enough, a sort of dark magic, especially when she failed to save someone, but after she died, when I lived alone, every still birth, every sudden illness, and they would look at me, whisper about me. People have always thought I meant them harm. Enkidu saw the seed of my talent in that. He didn't even know if it would manifest as a gift, but he took a chance on me, so that he could have that kind of power under his control."
"If he did it for himself, why do you owe him anything?"
"Because I hate him," she said, and it wasn't until she heard herself that she knew it was true. "He brought me back to my village when I woke, and since I was a newborn I took more than a little revenge. I hated him for that. When I finally left him, I knew I could never go back, and there's nothing I can do to make him less miserable, because he hates himself more than I ever could, so all I have is… a debt, a preference to not to see him die at the hands of the Volturi if I can help it."
"But if he –"
"We need to move, Edward. We need to get you to a place where the Volturi can't find you, so that I can go back for Ginnie."
"Demetri will know how to find me no matter where I hide."
"But Demetri will be with me."
"So will I," he said.
"Edward."
He pulled his hand back and stood up. "I'm strong. Maybe strong enough to take down a werewolf or two if need be."
"There are eleven of them, plus the woman who ran off, if she isn't long gone."
He ignored her and began to pace back and forth along the edge of the sinkhole. "I can read Enkidu's mind. I'll know his plans as soon as he does."
"If I'm worried about you, I won't be able –"
"You can't make me stay away. I'm not a chore that you scratch off a list."
"I never said –"
"There's no point in arguing, Bella."
Her name was soft on his lips. His hands hung limp by his side, and his once-white shirt was shredded; she could see his collarbone through a tear, and it made him look mortal somehow. Had he shouted at her, she would have insisted, but he was resigned and determined at the same time – remarkably steady for someone who'd just tasted his first hit of human blood. She shivered with an odd conviction that she would never shake this young man, even if they outlived mountains and languages and entire civilizations. Or… a terrible thought… what if he died here, tonight, because of her?
Edward moved closer until she could feel his breath on the top of her head. Slowly, as though she were the one who might run off, he put his hands on her shoulders.
"You of all people should know that you can't control everything. Sticking with you is a risk I'm willing to take, and if it gets me killed, it's not your fault. Carlisle will understand. "
Her fears had nothing to do with facing Carlisle.
"Then what?" he whispered, but she didn't answer because he brushed his thumb across her lips, then kissed her lightly, as if it were a first kiss. She wasn't sure she even wanted to know the answer to his question, not while there was so much still at stake before they reached home and safety. His hands were light, as though he was afraid to put any weight on her. Did he think she could send him away if he didn't want to go?
"You could always use fear," he whispered. "It might work; it has before. But I don't think you will."
He was so close that their noses bumped together when she shook her head.
"I'll tell you a secret," she said.
His eyes blinked closed as he leaned his forehead against hers, but she knew he was listening.
"I've never killed anyone with my ability. I can feel it grow around me, but I don't know how bad it can get if let it go all the way. I keep it under control, and it's debilitating, but then it passes with no harm done. Caius is under the impression that I could kill him outright. When the fear hits, people get these thoughts that I'll destroy them with my mind, but so far, it's never happened."
He kissed her with more force this time, biting on her lower lip, his mouth saying, I don't care, I don't care whether you're deadly or not. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I may have to use fear, and Enkidu likes it up to a point, likes the thrill, so I'd have to hit him hard. If I can't convince you not to come, you'll feel it too. It might be easier if you know that the voices in your head are wrong."
"The voices in my head are usually wrong," he said.
He was biting a line across her jaw, but she pushed him away.
"This isn't a joke, Edward."
"Oh for fuck's sake." He backed up so far that his feet were arched on the edge of the pit. "I've been stuck down there drinking from broken necks, my only company the thoughts of a hysterical werewolf who was terrified that she was going to get her son killed if she changed and mauled me beyond repair, so I'm damn well sure that this is no joke."
"Alright, okay."
"Jesus."
She waited for him to calm down, though by the look on his face, it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. If he was going to lose his temper like this, there was no way she could take him with her.
"I'll be fine," he said. "It's the tracker you should worry about. He's gotten too far away for me to read him."
"He could be trying his phone again."
"I don't think so. He knows that Jane and Alec are nearby."
She shuddered. Jane she could handle just fine – high strung, easily led – but the idea that Alec could take away the senses was unnerving on an instinctual level. She'd never experienced his 'gift' herself, and this would be the worst possible time to start.
"Was Demetri tracking them?" she asked. "Do you know which way he went?"
"I was a little preoccupied."
"We should try to bring him back. If he finds them, he might swing south and go after Ginnie himself," she said.
"Would that be so bad?"
She just looked at him.
"I'm not excited about meeting up with anyone who works for Caius and Aro," he said, "but if they can –"
"They can't. They'll just get Ginnie killed."
"Are you sure?"
"Enkidu is immune to their gifts. Worse, Caius claims that he's found a way to throw their talents back at them."
Edward looked confused, and she realized that she'd expected him to know everything. He took secrets from so many minds, but apparently no one had thought about this around him.
"So he'll be able to read my mind?" he asked.
"No, what you and I do isn't focused on one person; it happens all around us. It's when someone like Jane or Alec tries to target him specifically that he can turn it against them."
"Alright," he started off toward the east and called back to her over his shoulder. "Let's find Demetri then."
That turned out to be nearly impossible. They could barely catch his scent, and then they lost it at a stream. Edward couldn't pick up on his thoughts. They stopped at a fallen log by the water, while Bella tried unsuccessfully to decide what to do. None of the options were good. This was the sort of trouble she got into when she let her emotional response to Edward make her scattered, messy.
"So, you do have an emotional response, then," he said, and then he was crowding her, backing her up until she sat down ungracefully on the damp bark of the tree. "Because honestly, I can't tell."
"What do you want from me?" Her voice sounded ragged, and she wondered if he was feeling any fear.
He leaned down, his lips soft against the thin skin at her temple, and he brushed back her hair. He moved his kisses closer to her mouth, and she stayed quiet as much as she could, feeling the pressure and heat of him, until he kissed at the corner of her mouth and it made her whimper. How did he do this to her, and so effortlessly?
"I want… Do you…" he said, but who knew what he wanted, because instead of speaking, he dropped down in front of her with his weight on his knees and his face level with hers. He trained his eyes on her face with a look that said he was reaching into her to pull out every thought. She looked down at his hand. She must have taken it in hers at some point.
"Bella," he said. "Why do you let me touch you? Is it only because no one else can?"
She laughed then, barely a breath, to think that she had wondered the same thing about him. She thought of Ginnie and Demetri and how angry they had made her. Then Edward smiled, and for a moment there was nowhere they had to go, nothing to do.
"You thought that I was only…" he said. "And when did you see Demetri naked? Bat's granddaughter..."
"You're not finishing your sentences," she said.
"It's your fault. I didn't need that image."
It started to rain, but the sun was coming up, and there were birds not far away. She hadn't realized that she was calm enough for them to venture so near to her. She shouldn't have been calm, not without hours of meditation to bring her to that state. Calm was good though. Calm would get them through this with everyone alive. She would not let herself think of any other outcome.
"Do we keep looking for Demetri or do we head back?" Edward asked.
"We head for Enkidu's camp, but we wait for tonight. It's the full moon."
"Won't that make it worse?"
"The werewolves are stronger, but unable to reason when they're turned. That leaves us with fewer variables. Just brute strength."
"What if the Volturi try to go in before tonight?"
"Demetri's the only one who will be eager to try, and if they show up, you'll hear them coming. We'll stop them."
He held out his hand. When she took it, he pulled her to her feet so fast that she smacked up against him.
"Sorry," he mumbled, but he put an arm across her back to keep her from moving away. "When this is over, we need to talk about things between us."
"Fine," she said, though she knew that he might not feel the same once they got back to the new world. Already he'd shown her a handful of wildly different emotions, and though he had handled captivity better than expected, he had a good few years before he had real control over himself. It would be better if they waited until then.
"I mean it."
"Yes, ok, Edward, we'll talk."
"And you'll listen to me."
"I always listen. I just don't always agree."
He rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything as they made their way toward Enkidu's camp.
Thanks for reading. And a big thank you to all of you who've been recommending this story lately.
All the usual characters, settings, etc. are the property of S. Meyer. Original characters and plot are mine. No copyright infringement is intended. May not be reprinted without express written permission.