Guests
"Tact is the art of making guests feel at home,
when that's really where you wish they were."
Gotham Heights
It seemed to take forever for Clark to fall asleep. It felt as if he'd just closed his eyes when his cell phone rang. It was early, very early. Getting up and sitting on the side of the bed, he answered it.
"Hello?"
"Clark."
There was no question whose voice was on the other end.
"Yeah, Jonn, what's going on?"
"I'm sorry to wake you, but it's technically morning,' Jonn said. "She wants to leave."
Rubbing some of the sleep from his eyes, Clark sighed. There was no need to say who 'she' was.
"Okay, tell her I'll be up in a little while."
"Thank you. I used your cell phone in deference to your bet. I hope that is all right?"
"Not a problem, Jonn, see you in a bit."
Clark hung up the phone and leaned forward. He held his head in his hands and yawned. He had a feeling it was going to be a long, long day. I'm really a rather calm, quiet sort of fellow, Clark thought, yet somehow I always seemed to get involved with fiery, headstrong women. I'm either doing something very wrong or very right, I just can't figure out which at the moment. As he sat there, pondering his day ahead, he didn't see that the other occupant of the bed was awake.
Smooth fingers slipped under his pajama top from behind and caressed their way up his spine. He jumped a little and heard her laugh.
"Good morning."
He turned and looked at her. The covers were down around her waist, exposing the top half of her body in her sheer nightgown. Diana had a big smile on her face.
"Good morning,' he replied. He shifted down the bed slightly to put a little more distance between them.
"Sleep well,' she asked.
"No."
"I slept wonderfully."
Diana stretched her arms over her head. He wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but she was certainly giving him an up close and personal look at just how well built she was from the waist up. He glanced up at the ceiling, as if to say a silent prayer to give him strength.
"Slept well, huh, imagine that," he finally said
Diana shifted on the bed, moving closer to him.
"Was that Jonn that called,' Diana asked.
"Yes."
"It's about her, isn't it?'
"Yeah,' he replied. The smile disappeared from Diana's lips. "Look, I know you don't like her."
'That's putting it mildly, Kal."
"And you hide it so well,' he teased. She gave him a small slap on the arm. Add women that like to hit to fiery and head strong. "Look, Diana, I know you don't want her here, but I don't know what else to do. Do you want to call off this bet?"
Ending this, them living together was the last thing Diana wanted. She felt like they'd made a break through, or at least she had last night. She wanted those two weeks to see where this would go.
"No."
She looked down at the bed covers, idly running her fingers over the fabric. He felt the need to explain why he was doing this.
"Whether it's true or not, I have to give her a second chance,' Diana,' he explained. "I'm really not that naïve, but I just can't turn my back on her if there is even the slightest chance she's telling the truth."
"Why can't she just stay on the station,' Diana unhappily asked. "Or prison?"
"Yeah, I don't see either of those working anytime soon. I think it's because Lashina knows me. I guess she feels safer around me,' he offered. "I need to know you're okay with this. Are you?'"
"No, but I don't see an alternative."
"I could move to the station for awhile, if you think that would help."
Diana didn't like that idea at all.
"No. If she has to be here, I guess I can put up with her for a short while."
"Thank you." He gave her a smile and started to get up.
"Kal?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't I get a good morning kiss,' Diana said sweetly. He eyed her for a moment and then quickly leaned down and gave her a small peck on the lips.
"Good morning."
She looked at him. Her expression clearly said she wasn't satisfied with the kiss.
"That's it?"
"Yes."
"I'm letting you bring another woman into our house. A woman I despise and that's the best kiss you can give me, Kal,' Diana asked. "I think I deserve better than that. I doubt most wives would be so generous."
He looked at her and could see she was trying not to smile. She gave him that wide-eyed innocent look and he gave in. He leaned down to kiss her again, but this time she was ready. Diana caught hold of his pajama top and pulled him towards her. As their lips met, her arm slipped quickly around his shoulders and pulled him in tight. The kiss took his breath away. When it finally ended, he felt wide-awake. He was going to need a very long, cold shower, but he was awake.
"That's a good morning kiss, Kal,' she said with a big smile. He started to say something, but then just shook his head and started out the door. Diana lay back, smiling and pulled the covers back up.
The Watchtower
Lashina stood in the transporter room waiting. Jonn, Dinah and Plastic Man were there too. She was tired of being here among these people and wanted Kal-El to arrive so they could leave. Plastic Man had taken it on himself to entertain her. She was not amused.
"Must I put up with your pet,' she scowled. "Can't you chain him up somewhere? Outside preferably."
Dinah sighed and looked up from her console.
"I know I'm going to regret this,' she muttered and then addressed Lashina. "He's not a pet, Lashina; he's a valuable member of the Justice League. His name is Plastic Man and we would ask you to use it."
"Must he be so annoying?"
"That's kind of his thing,' Dinah offered, shrugging her shoulders. Plastic Man had turned himself into a bunch of balloons and floated up in front of Lashina.
"I told everyone Black Canary was coming around! I knew she liked me,' he shouted.
"I knew I'd regret it, I just knew it, I knew it,' Dinah grumbled.
"A Ring-a-ding-ding-ding, this is a banner day for yours truly!"
He floated a little too close to Lashina and she used one of her sharp fingernails to pop his balloons.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he whined, as he drifted down to the floor and then transformed into a tricycle and started pedaling in circles. Lashina watched him and then looked at Dinah.
"He's a valuable member of the Justice League?"
"I know,' Diana nodded and shrugged her shoulders again. "But it's really kind of a voluntary organization. He won't leave."
"When is Kal-El getting here,' Lashina asked, turning her attention to Jonn.
"Any moment now."
Lashina gave a sigh of relief and turned to watch the transporters. Plastic Man transformed again and came up to her.
"Hey, Lashy, have you heard the one about the guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants! Get it? Hi-Ho! A-ring-a-ding-Ding!"
Lashina didn't even crack a smile.
"Go away."
"EEE-AAAWWW! Ring-a-ding-ding-Ding! Oh, that just slays me, it really does! Ho-Ho!"
A light on the transporter panel lit up and Jonn turned towards Lashina.
"Um, Lashina, I believe,' Jonn stared and then began to chuckle. "His pants. Ah-hmm. Excuse me, I just got that, ah-ha-ha-ha!"
Dinah looked over at Jonn, but he was still laughing. She rolled her eyes and turned to Lashina.
"It's Superman, he's transporting in,' she said.
"Finally,' Lashina grumbled.
"At least you get to leave," Dinah replied. "I have to stay here with these two."
The Watchtower – Cafeteria
A rather hung over Wally was sitting at a back table with Shayera and Mari. Shayera was in a little better shape then he was. Mari was very interested in their night.
"Remind me to never, ever go out with Constantine again,' Wally moaned.
"Oh come on, I thought last night was really fun,' Shayera replied. "If there had been a fight it would have been perfect!"
"Could you please, not talk so loud?"
Captain Atom came walking over to their table. He seemed nervous and was looking all around.
"Um, excuse me, ah, Wally, are you still taking bets on Batman and Wonder Woman?"
"Yeah,' Wally replied.
Captain Atom looked around again and then leaned in close to Wally.
"Twenty on Batman,' he whispered.
"Twenty it is."
Captain Atom stood back up and then quickly left the room. They watched him go.
"Traitor,' Wally grumbled. "He's a Meta, how can he bet against his own like that?"
"How is the betting going,' Mari asked.
'It's still running in Batman's favor, but the odds are shifting towards Wonder Woman. Half way through and it's about sixty/forty. If her and Clark make it to the end of the third week, I say it's even money,' Wally replied.
"Damn, I wanted to make another bet, but I spent all my money last night,' Shayera groaned.
"What exactly did you all do,' Mari asked.
"Shots,' Wally groaned.
"We saw Zee's show and then went out on the town,' Shayera offered. "It was a great night. A little hazy in parts, but all in all a great night."
"Yeah, it was, what I remember of it, but the morning came too soon,' Wally added.
"How are Zatanna and Constantine,' Mari asked. "Like you Shayera, or like him?"
"Constantine seemed fine."
"The guy must have a hollow leg,' Wally said.
"Zee, she got a little wild,' Shayera continued. "Frankly, I didn't even see her leave."
"She didn't leave with Constantine, did she,' Mari asked. "They have a history, you know."
"Of alcoholism,' Wally asked.
"No, they dated, you idiot,' Shayera snapped. She was going to hit him, but he looked so pathetic she let it go.
"So did they,' Mari repeated.
"I don't think so,' Shayera said. "I sort of remember seeing Constantine at the end of the night, I think."
"We didn't lose her, did we,' Wally asked. Shayera started to answer, but then stopped.
"I don't remember, but I'm sure she's fine,' Shayera offered. She tried to rack her brain to remember, but it was a bit hazy. "I hope."
"Wally, put another hundred on Diana for me, will you,' Mari asked.
Gotham
The smell of fresh coffee seemed to tease at the edges of Zatanna's consciousness. She wanted to sleep, but the enticing smell kept wafting around her. She groaned, her head pounding and finally opened one eye. A cup of steaming coffee sat on the night table next to her. The only problem was it wasn't the night table from her hotel room. I don't remember picking up anybody, her hazy mind thought. I remember being out with Shayera, Wally and … oh, God, no, please, don't tell me. She closed her eye and pressed her face back into the pillow, hoping what she was thinking hadn't happened.
She didn't want to look. If she's slept with Constantine she was going to kill herself. It was all his fault anyway, him and those shots, she thought. Reluctantly, unable to put it off any longer, she turned her head and looked at the other side of the bed.
Empty.
That's a good sign, she thought with relief. There was always the possibility that he could have gotten up though and went for coffee. Please don't let me have slept with Constantine, she pleaded silently. No, wait; this is much too nice a place for Constantine, she mused. It looks familiar, almost like…
"So are you going to sleep all day or finally get up?"
Zatanna rolled over and saw Bruce Wayne sitting next to the bed in the shadows. Her eyes didn't seem to want to work properly and it took a little squinting to really make him out.
"Bruce?"
"Who were you expecting,' he asked. "Not Constantine, please tell me you weren't thinking of sleeping with him."
"What the hell, Bruce? Where am I?"
"You're at the mansion,' he replied.
"Your mansion?"
"No, the Playboy mansion, of course my mansion,' he said.
"You don't have to be snotty about it,' she grumbled. She rolled over and the pain seemed to shift inside her head. Her hand came up to rub her temple, as she looked at him through half closed eyes.
"How'd I get here?"
"I brought you."
"You did? Why? Wait, I don't remember seeing you last night,' she said. "When did you show up?"
"Just in the nick of time,' he said. "You were your usual flirty self. You had several men, including Constantine trying to escort you back to your hotel room. I brought you here instead."
"Oh, wow, I didn't do anything really embarrassing, did I,' she asked.
"You mean besides tell everyone you loved me?"
"Wh-Wh-What,' she gasped. She squinted and now saw he was smiling. "Oh, ha-ha, very funny.'
"You did kiss me,' he offered. He took a sip of his own coffee and just watching her.
"I did?"
"Yes, you're a very affection drunk, Zee,' Bruce said with a laugh.
"I'm just friendly,' she protested. Suddenly another thought came to her mind and she shuddered a little. " We, um, we didn't, you know, last night, did we?"
"Sleep together?"
She cringed a little more, hearing the words out loud.
"We didn't, you and I, we didn't, right?"
"You know a gentleman never discusses such things,' Bruce offered. "See? I did learn something from Alfred growing up."
"Yes or no, Bruce,' she groaned.
"No."
"Thank God!"
She gasped in relief and fell back against the pillows.
"You didn't have to say it like that,' he grumbled. "It's not that terrible a thought, is it?"
She lifted her head up off the pillow and looked at him with a smile.
"Did I hurt your feelings,' she teased.
"You could have at least thanked me,' he replied. He sat back, crossing his legs. "Here I go out of my way to make sure you don't do something stupid and this is the thanks I get."
"Thank you, Bruce,' she said in her sweetest voice. "Now could you go away? My head it killing me and sleep is the only thing that's going to help."
"This is my house, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, go away, please,' she said. "I'll be sure to thank you properly later. Okay?"
"What exactly does that mean,' he said with a smile.
"Don't get all pervy, I just meant I'll buy you dinner or something,' she replied. "Jeez, that dress Dinah had on must have really got you revved up, didn't it?"
"Don't be ridiculous,' he quickly replied. He seemed to think about it for a moment. "It was an amazing dress, I have to admit."
"Jeez, you'd think you guys never saw a pair of legs before,' Zee grumbled as she lay back down and pulled the covers up.
"There was a lot of leg to see,' he mused.
"Oh, just go away.'
He looked at her with a smile and then started chuckling as he stood and walked towards the door.
"I'm glad Clark sat on you,' she groused, but he just continued to chuckle.
The Watchtower
Lashina had a big smile on her face when she saw Clark appear. She immediately went over to him and kissed him. She put everything into it and for a moment it took Clark's breath away. Always was a good kisser, got to give her that, he thought.
"Are we leaving finally,' she asked.
"In a minute, we need to discuss some things first."
"I don't like it here."
"We have to go over the ground rules, Lashina,' he said.
"I don't like rules, Kal-El, you know that."
"That's why we have to go over them,' he replied. "Come on, this will only take a moment."
Clark led her out of the transporter room and a short way down the hall to an empty conference room. As soon as the door closed, she stepped very close to him. Add close talkers to the list of fiery, headstrong and like to hit, he thought. Moving strategically away from her, putting the table between them, he started.
"Lashina, since you've already been to the house, you must realize Diana and I are living together,' he began.
"Why?"
"It's a long story, but it's part of a bet,' he said. 'Part of the bet is we have to be undercover in the suburbs and not use our powers."
"And why?"
"To prove we can."
"That seems kind of stupid," she offered. "If you have powers, why wouldn't you use them?"
"I didn't make the bet, but I'm going along with it,' he replied. "If you're going to be staying with us, you have to go along with it too."
"What do you mean,' she asked, moving slowly around the room towards him. For such a tall woman, she had a sensual grace about the way she moved. In a way she reminded him of Diana, but he knew not to suggest that to either of them.
"I mean you can't use your powers, Lashina."
"That's just stupid."
"Be that as it may, that's the rule. We'll have to come up with some cover for you too,' he suggested. "We could say you're my sister or something."
"I don't want to be your sister, Kal-El,' she replied, moving even closer. "I doubt any one would believe I'm your sister."
The wicked smile on her face as she looked at him seemed to back this up.
"Yeah, probably not, but everyone in the neighborhood thinks Diana and I are married and you can't ruin that. Is that clear,' he asked.
"Do I have to like it,' she asked.
"No, just agree to it."
"If I agree to your rules, can we leave?"
"Yes. Oh and you'll have to dress differently,' he said. "Um, that black outfit and whips don't really blend in, if you know what I mean."
"You always liked this outfit before,' she said with a smile.
"It is a very striking outfit, 'he had to admit. "You have to blend in, Lashina, or try to at least."
"All right, I'll wear something else. What would you like me to wear, Kal-El?"
There was a teasing note in her voice, as she moved closer, now within his four feet perimeter.
"Um, ah, we'll figure something out,' he finally said. "Oh, and while we're there it's Clark, okay?"
"Any more rules, Clark?"
"Don't fight with Diana."
"That's going to be hard,' Lashina replied. "I don't like her."
"I gathered that,' he said. "But that's the rule, Lashina, take it or leave it."
"Fine, can we go now?"
The Watchtower
Mari had left and Wally and Shayera were still sitting together. He'd taken several more bets, as the action seemed to be really heating up. Shayera had been watching him for some time, as he counted the money.
"Wally?"
"Yeah,' he replied, still counting.
"Did you really have a good time last night?"
"Sure."
"So you enjoyed our date?'
He stopped counting and looked at her for the first time.
"Our date?"
"Well, that's what it was, wasn't it,' she asked.
"I suppose."
"So did you,' she asked again.
"Yeah, sure, Shayera, and thanks again for going with me,' he said with a smile.
"Your welcome. So we agree that it was a date, right?"
"Yeah, a good one," he said, returning to counting the money.
"So why do I seem to remember you hitting on other women,' she asked. Wally stopped counting the money again.
"Hmm? How's that?"
"At the clubs after the show, I seem to remember you hitting on other women,' Shayera said. "You even got someone's number, did you?"
"Ah, yeah, I think so."
"I thought so,' she said. Wally noticed she seemed to be getting angry, but didn't have a clue why. "So you ask me out and then hit on other women in front of me? You bastard!"
Shayera suddenly hit him and stood up. She gave him a glare and then stormed across the cafeteria. A rather stunned Wally sat there, not sure what had just happened. Plastic Man suddenly appeared next to him as a potted plant. They watched Shayera storm out of the room.
"Women, huh,' Plastic Man offered.
"I think I missed something in that conversation,' Wally admitted.
"What are you going to do,' Plastic Man replied. "Hey, did you hear the good news? Dinah likes me, she really likes me!"
Wally turned and looked at him but didn't say a word.
Mount Olympus
Usually what happens in a small, quiet suburb doesn't catch the notice of the Greek Gods. They had much large things to worry about, but sometimes they do take notice of special events. Superman and Wonder Woman living together would be such an event. When Dionysus had first mentioned the bet, it had sparked interested. The Gods aren't really that different than most people and like a nice wager now and then.
A side bet on the bet was offered and accepted, then another and another. The one rule the Gods made was none of them could interfere; they would all just be spectators. Everyone agreed to this and the betting continued. Soon all the Gods were rooting for one side or that other. Yes, Diana was their champion, but that never stopped anyone from betting against the home team when a wager and winning were involved.
"They are at the halfway point,' Zeus observed. "I think bringing this New God, Lashina into the mix certainly doesn't bode well for them."
"Would you care to increase your wager,' Hera asked.
"Feeling protective of her, are you,' Zeus said with a smile.
"She has the wisdom of Athena, remember," Hera replied. "I hope that will guide her in this."
"That wisdom doesn't always work when love is involved, my dear. Isn't that right, Aphrodite?"
The Goddess of Love had been silent up to now, not taking part in the betting. She turned now and looked at the other Gods with a smile. Even here among the Gods she stood out. She was a thousand watt bulb in a room full of hundred watt bulbs. She looked over the Gods one by one.
"I would bet on Diana,' she said simply. "She has Superman with her, remember?"
"You have always had a weak spot for the Kryptonian, "Ares grumbled.
"Perhaps, in another life, who knows," Aphrodite mused with a faraway smile. "That is beside the point, I would still wager on Diana."
She had all their attention now. Even Diana's patrons were a little skeptical of whether she could make it the whole month. They wanted to believe, but things seemed to be moving in the other direction. Lashina's arrival didn't boost their confidence, either.
"You know, this mortal, Batman is very clever,' Dionysus offered. "They say he is always five steps ahead of his opponent."
"He's still a mortal,' Ares said dismissively. "This New God, Lashina is the one to watch. I know conflict and that one will be Diana's downfall."
"Her presence is troubling," Hera had to admit.
"I still say, Diana will win," Aphrodite repeated.
"How can you be so sure,' Zeus asked.
"It's all a matter of perspective," Aphrodite offered. "She seeks to find answers with this bet. I believe she will."
Aphrodite smiled and then stood and moved off. She almost glided and even the Gods paused to watch her.
"Bah, she never did understand conflict,' Ares said. "I will double my wagers against the Princess."
"Taken,' Dionysus replied.
Gotham
Zatanna came down the stairs, freshly showered and dressed. She knew her way around the mansion probably as well as anyone that hadn't lived there. She headed straight for the kitchen and found Alfred making breakfast.
"Good morning, am I in time for breakfast,' she asked with a smile.
"Yes, Miss Zatanna, I was just finishing it for you."
"Me?"
"Master Bruce said you would be down soon."
'Where is he?"
"He was called away."
Zatanna sat at the counter and watched as Alfred plated the food and set in down in front of her. She smiled at it and then looked at him.
"You're not having any? You're not going to make me eat alone, are you Alfred?"
The older man smiled at her.
"No, of course not."
He fixed a quick, small plate from himself and sat down across from her. She smiled happily at this. Zee dug in to the food with gusto.
"Delicious, as always,' she offered between mouthfuls.
"Thank you,' Alfred replied. He took a sip of his coffee and watched her for a moment.
"I understand opening night was a smashing success,' he said. "Congratulations."
"Thank you. I wouldn't tell anyone else, but I'm always a bit nervous on opening night,' she admitted.
"Well, the reviews were all glowing," Alfred said. He reached over and picked up the morning papers. "You always made the society page. It seems you had quite the night on the town."
Zatanna looked at the pictures of her dancing, as she chewed a mouthful of food. She shrugged her shoulders and continued eating.
"A Mr. Constantine was mentioned as being in your company most of the night,' Alfred observed.
"Yeah, him and a couple of other friends and I went out to celebrate,' she replied. "Is there any more coffee?"
Alfred reached over and poured her another cup.
"Thank you."
"You are most welcome. I take it this Mr. Constantine is a close friend?"
"I wouldn't exactly say that,' Zee replied.
"I'm sure Master Bruce will be happy to hear that,' Alfred observed.
"Why do you say that," she asked.
"I have the impression Master Bruce does not care for the man, especially in regards to you, Miss."
Zatanna just looked at him for a moment, her mouth full of food, not sure what to say.
Gotham Heights
Clark and Lashina came in the front door and Diana was waiting. Clark could feel the tension the moment they entered. Lashina and Diana just glared at each other.
"And here I thought this was going to be awkward,' Clark mused. "Lashina, Diana, you're going to make nice, right?"
"Of course,' Lashina said, still staring at Diana.
"Absolutely, Kal,' Diana replied, never taking her eye off Lashina.
"Well, nothing to worry about then,' he joked. "We should probably get you some other clothes, first thing, Lashina."
"If you say so, Clark,' she replied.
"Diana, do you have anything she could wear until we get her something else?"
She flashed him a look and Clark took a step back. He had to admit she made him a little nervous when she gave him that particular look. He was really pushing it asking for her help. Diana was reluctant to do anything for Lashina, but relented.
"I might have some old jeans she could wear,' Diana finally said.
"They would probably be too big,' Lashina observed. "You're rather thicker through the waist than I am. Those matronly hips of yours are much wider."
"I'll give you matronly hips,' Diana grumbled, making a fist and stepping towards Lashina. Clark quickly got between them.
"I thought we were going to play nice, Lashina,' he whispered. "You remember our talk on the station?"
"Of course,' she replied. She looked at Diana and gave her a fake smile. "No offense, Princess."
Diana didn't respond, just muttered to herself as she headed upstairs to grab some things for Lashina to wear. Clark watched her and then just shook his head.
"I can't catch a break."