Hiccup would rather be getting beat up.
Yes, it was common for the Vikings to sing songs in Gaelic, especially around a campfire after supper. But to sing out of nowhere? That wasn't normal anywhere.
"I had a dream once," the leader of the ruffians proclaimed, a lost look in his eyes. Without even looking he threw his sharp axe, one that Astrid would have liked, where it protruded in the wall; nearly killing a poor accordion player chained to the said wall.
The accordion player narrowly dodged the axe, looking as though he wet himself, and began to play, shaking.
"I'm malicious mean and scary, my sneer could curdle dairy, and violence wise, my hands are not the cleanest!
But despite my evil look, and my temper and my hook! I've always yearned to be a concert pianist!"
Hiccup's jaw dropped as the turban leader sat promptly on a piano bench and began playing with ease; as if he had spent his whole entire life playing.
"Can't you see me on the stage preforming Mozart?" The leader asked Rapunzel, who sat next to him with curiosity. "Tickling the ivories till they gleam?" He asked, before sliding his hook down the keyboard, making a couple keys fly off. Rapunzel looked as though she were trying hard not to laugh, rising her frying to defend herself from the keys.
"Yes, I'd rather be called deadly, for my killer show tune medley! Thank you—because way down deep inside I've got a dream!"
"He's got a dream, he's got a dream," the whole cavern sang back, getting lost in the song. Hiccup, who was hanging on a hook next to Flynn, exchanged looks with him. Merida was very wide-eyed; she was let go and then forcibly arm hooked with the ruffians. North actually didn't care that everyone was singing and was kinda joining in. One man passed him a pint and North waved it, laughing.
Oh yeah, Jack thought. Responsible Guardian.
"You see I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem!" The leader sang, before smacking a fellow ruffian in the face, before continuing. "Though I do like breaking femurs, you can count me with the dreamers! Like everybody else I've got a dream!"
With all the joy of the cavern, they couldn't tell a mysterious cloaked figure was at the gate.
Meanwhile, the smacked ruffian began to sing his dream. "I've got scars and lumps and bruises—plus something here that oozes," he said, showing Rapunzel his arm. Jack wrinkled his nose before he was grabbed around the waist by a ruffian and forced into a dancing number.
"And let's not even mention my complexion! But despite my extra toes—" he continued, wriggling his six toes in front of Rapunzel , who gazed at them in fascination.
"And my goiter and my nose, I really want to make a love connection!" He proclaimed, handing Rapunzel a flower.
The ruffian stood up and sat in a barrel, where a short old ruffian was sitting. "Can you see me with a special little lady?" The ruffian asked dreamily, while the old man popped open a small pink umbrella.
"Rowing down a rowboat down a stream?" He sang, pretending his pear was a paddle and dragging the barrel in front of Rapunzel, who smiled awkwardly.
"Though I'm one disgusting blighter, I'm a lover, not a fighter!" He sang, tying the older man, who was now dressed as Cupid, on a string. "Because way down deep inside I've got a dream!"
"I've got a dream!"
"He's got a dream!"
"I've got a dream!"
"He's got a dream!"
The whole cavern, plus North, minus Jack, Hiccup, Flynn, and Merida sang; while the older man swung quite stupidly around the turban. Flynn looked completely fed up with the situation—Hiccup agreed with him, as 'cupid' swung in front of them.
"And I know one day romance will reign supreme! Though my face leaves people screaming, there's a child behind it gleaming! 'Cause way down deep inside I've got a dream!" The lovesick ruffian finished, before hugging Rapunzel and a fellow cavern member.
Kor would like to quit and be a florist
Gunther does interior design
Ulf is into mime
Attila's cupcakes are sublime!
Bruiser knits!
Killer sews!
Fang does little puppet shows!
"And Vladimir collects Aramaic unicorns!" The leader sang dramatically, gesturing to the biggest of the group. Vlad had tiny Aramaic unicorns in his hands, no larger than his thumbs. Then he tapped the two together and his deep scowl turned into a smile.
"What about you?" The love sick ruffian asked, turning to Flynn and Hiccup.
"I'm sorry me?" Flynn asked mockingly.
"Us?!" Hiccup asked bewildered.
"All of you!" The love sick ruffian asked, pushing Jack and Merida at them. North just chuckled, blending easily with the crowd.
Hiccup and Flynn were lowered to the ground, standing shoulder to shoulder with Jack and Merida.
"No, no, no," Flynn chuckled. "Sorry boys. I don't sing."
"Ah'm not singing!" Merida protested crossing her arms stubbornly.
"Ditto," Hiccup said.
"Never in a million years!" Jack argued.
There was the sound of unsheathed swords and the next thing the four knew they were singing.
Flynn danced like a monkey for his life, sashaying down the counter singing, " I have dreams like you, no really! Just much less touchy feely! They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny!" Flynn sang next to Vladimir before taking one of his unicorns. He was rewarded with a murderous look.
Flynn placed the unicorn on pot with an unknown substance that looked like mountains. "On an island that I own, tan and rested and alone!"
The ruffians grabbed him by the ankles and threw him into the air as Flynn cried, "And surrounded by enormous piles of money!"
"A—Ah've got a problem really! So listen up and Ah'll tell ye—about the dilemma here with me mum! See, she wants me to be married so Ah fought for my own hand and left them dumb! But now Ah've endangered all the kingdoms, fighting for my freedom—all Ah want is fer her to understand!" Merida shouted, scrunching her eyes and making up a song, despite the lyrics not really rhyming.
The ruffians look pointly at Hiccup who yelped and began to sing.
"I have a forbidden friendship, one that was never meant to be. I could keep it up or put my act together so my father will accept me! Oh, I just want to be accepted—treated just like all the other vik—er, I mean, warriors! But what I really want most of all is for them to try to see—our enemies and us aren't really that all different!" Hiccup sang miserably, his voice out of tune.
Jack rolled his eyes before letting out a deep sigh. "I'll make this really simple, so listen all you people, my dream has come true already! I'm a Guardian that's believed in—able to be seen! And that my folks was my dream!"
The ruffians gave Jack a strange look. Even Flynn, Hiccup, and Merida gaped at him weirdly. Jack flushed under everyone's stares and rubbed his head awkwardly. Rapunzel swooped in and saved the day.
"I have a dream!" She announced, her golden hair gleaming. The ruffians moods turned three sixty and they cheered her on.
"She has a dream!"
"I have a dream!
"She has a dream!"
"I just want to see the floating lanterns gleam!" The ruffians gave a hearty approval, making Rapunzel beam. "And with every passing hour, I'm so glad I left my tower! Like all you lovely folks, I have a dream!"
Jack felt a chill over his shoulder as everyone continued singing. He looked over and saw a woman peering through an open window, gaping at Rapunzel. She had bushy black hair and cold grey eyes. Her eyes flicked over to Jack and then she turned away from the window.
"YES WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE I'VE GOT A DREAM!"
Jack turned back at the cavern and saw Merida has actually joined in. She was sitting on a table, a sword placed on her lap. She was clapping and swinging her hands, her dress in even more shreds due to the manhandling.
"YEAH!"
Everyone cheered, clapping wildly as the song was finished, much to Flynn, Hiccup, and Jack's relief. Suddenly the door burst open, and a man from earlier yelled, "I have the guards!"
Everyone faced him. Flynn paled and ran to the side, grabbing Jack and Hiccup by the scruffs of their necks. He yanked Rapunzel's arm and Merida followed awkwardly. They all sat underneath a counter, fear pounding in the five of them as the guards entered. North had his hands gripped on his Russian swords, from the other side of the pub.
The cavern leader put a hand on Flynn's shoulder and the five under the counter looked up. His eyes flicked over to a corner. The five crawled, following him. The leader pulled a lever that had a carving of a duck on it and the corner was revealed to be a secret hallway.
"Go," the leader said to Rapunzel. "Live your dream."
"I will," Flynn breathed.
"Not you, I was talking to her!"
Flynn's smile melted, and with narrowed eyes he crawled down the hallway.
"Parent issues, follow him," the leader said. Merida and Hiccup exchanged looks, before sliding down after Flynn.
"North-!" Jack started but the leader shook his head. "No time! Go!" Jack caught North eye; North had crossed the pub and was nodding at what the leader said.
Jack hesitated before reluctantly sliding down, not happy at all.
"Thank you," Rapunzel whispered, giving the leader a small smile, who look touched, and slid down, her long trail of golden hair and Pascal following her down.