Episode 5: Berrynose
Five! And on time!...Okay, about twelve hours early, but I just want to get this up.
Two for keeping the cats and one neutral. Okay then, cats win out! Unless, of course, I get more reviews before next Monday... :( I only got three, after all. So, I'm extending our nice little poll to next Monday. If you already answered, you can't answer again, 'cause that would be cheating. :P
Anywho, onto Berrynose! I hope you all enjoy the revamp!
On the two new residential floors that Burntfur bought last episode, Liontail and Sunclaw are in the busy process of cleaning the rooms, as the previous residents left quickly, bringing only the necessities, valuables, and things that they actually owned. This leaves things such as washing machines, rented couches and chairs, and a few classic movies on DVD in the apartments. The second residential floor (which is technically the sixth floor) also happens to have verandas on a few of the suites, which means that, if the crew ever gets big enough to need the second or even third floor, those specific rooms will probably be fought over.
Nightsong and Diamondeyes, being two ladies and not exactly the type for grunt work, are 'supervising'. Though they are being some help and checking the kitchenettes included in the rooms for snacks and any perishables, they're leaving the tom and the tomboy to do the real work.
In the meantime, Burntfur and Whitefoot are upstairs checking out the third residential floor while Goldie...well, StarClan knows where Goldie is.
Sunclaw peeks out the door of what will soon hopefully become storage and snaps, "Nightsong, do you think you can get off your back end and come help me with this couch?"
"Sure," Nightsong wiggles her nose curiously. "You didn't have to be so sarcastic about it."
As Nightsong shuffles past Sunclaw and into the room, Sunclaw throws daggers at her back before she follows her inside.
Liontail turns to Diamondeyes, hoping oh so slightly that she'll have also had a change of heart, but she quickly quips, "Don't even thing about it."
Liontail takes a breath through his teeth before he turns back towards the room. Suddenly, a completely calm Burntfur strolls down the spiral staircase that the construction crew spent most of the last week installing as per Goldie's instructions. In her paws is a chainsaw, up and running.
"Hey, check out what I found in room W13!"
The two cats in the hallway just stare at her while, behind Burntfur, Whitefoot is oh so calmly walking down the stairs with a hockey goalie mask with what we can only hope are paint splatters strapped across her face. "There's some neat stuff in there!"
Sunclaw and Liontail barely see the mask and the chainsaw before they grab the girls and book it towards the elevator.
Whitefoot pushes the mask up onto her head and curiously asks, "What's their problem?"
Burntfur turns off the chainsaw and answers, "Maybe it's time for the show?"
With a quick glance at the clock, Whitefoot shakes her head. "Nah, Berrynose isn't even here yet."
Suddenly the elevator opens and Goldie steps out with two cats. One is a silver tom with a metal-like sheen to his fur. He looks like the kind of cat who would be wearing glasses, but that isn't the case. He's also dragging a duffel bag, a suitcase, a laptop case, and a box that's filled with a rattling sound with him. Under one arm is a motorcycle helmet and hanging from his neck is what appears to be an ignition key.
The second cat is a gray she-cat with minute white speckles on her paws and her tail. She's carrying a small box with what looks like jars in front of her with a messenger bag thrown over her shoulder. On her other shoulder, her purse is idly swinging. She's kind of older-looking, but not much older than the cats. Twenty-something, maybe?
Goldie spots the pair and calls, "Hey, girls!"
Goldie and the two other cats slow to a stop as they see the mask and Burntfur's chainsaw. Goldenheart's mouth opens and shuts a few times before she asks, "Do I want to know where you found those?"
"W13!" Burntfur chatters, helpfully starting up her chainsaw. The gray she-cat jumps and almost drops her box of jars.
Goldenheart pulls a notebook out of her purse and flips through till she gets to what can be assumed is a room layout for the new two floors. She clicks her claws idly but stops when she gets to room W13.
"Snap, I wanted that to be the greenroom."
The silver cat clears his throat and Goldenheart quickly puts her notebook back in her purse. "Where're my manners? Burntfur, Whitefoot, this is Techyscreen, our new supervisor of all things techy, and this is Honeyleaf, our new head medicine cat. Techy'll be rooming with Liontail and Honeyleaf will be moving onto the new floor."
"I thought that we weren't going to need the two floors?" Whitefoot comments, taking off her mask and coming down the stairs to shake the cat's paws.
"Yeah, that was before I realized we needed a med cat and more than one tech and cameracat. Right!"
Goldie claps her paws and gestures to room W8, the only room that the crew has completely cleaned out and applied a plaque (with the letter and number) to. "Honeyleaf, this is your suite; we'll put your name on the door later on, I hope you don't mind living all alone on this floor. The infirmary's two floors down, marked 'Infirmary', can't miss it. Techy! Your room's downstairs, you'll be rooming with Liontail. All our suites are two to a suite, girls in even rooms, boys in odd. I'll show you to your station later. Burntfur! Put the chainsaw in room" the gold she-cat consults her notes, "W18 and then grab Nightsong so you can meet Berrynose downstairs. Whitefoot, lose the mask and find the others, get them introduced to T and H, the whole gist. Have fun, see ya in forty-five!"
All this on just a few breaths, which just shows how professional the golden she-cat is. Goldenheart spins on her heel, snatching a few of Techyscreen's bags, and hops into the elevator with him, leaving Burntfur, Whitefoot, and the new med cat staring at the closed doors.
"Did anyone catch any of that?" Honeyleaf questions.
"Pssh, of course I did. I'm a professional after all." Burntfur grins in that I-have-absolutely-no-idea-what-I'm-doing way. She's been backing towards the elevator while she said that and turns around, moving too fast, just in time to smack face-first into the closed doors.
"Yeah, she's a real professional," Whitefoot sighs before she steps over the black and orange cat, snatching the chainsaw, and leaving Honeyleaf wondering what exactly she's signed up for.
Later on, Poppyfrost is worriedly pacing the camp. She's been at it for so long, it seems, that she's literally starting to wear a hole in the ground. Jayfeather, after having tripped over the mentioned hole, uses his whiskers to sense the she-cat's path and steps in front of her. In his grumpy way, he begins to speak;
"Poppyfrost, sit down. I heard that they'll need you for a couple of dares, so you'll get to see him anyway."
Poppyfrost looks at the medicine cat and murmurs in a worried tone, "But what about my—"
Now in full grump-mode, Jayfeather thunders, "We have two perfectly capable queens to take care of your kits! Now sit down and change the channel!"
Poppyfrost, scared of a grumpy Jay, does what he says and hustles Cherrykit and Molekit into the nursery before quickly changing the channel to WU. Everyone gathers around the old TV.
Later on, forty-five minutes after the afternoon's antics, Goldenheart, once again oblivious to the running camera (as usual), is curled up in her chair with a book, staring at the last few pages, biting her lip. One can see just the tiniest hint of a tear in her eyes...
Randomly, Techyscreen comes up behind her and looks over her shoulder to read. Even he's shocked by the ending and can't help but shout, "Holy-!"
Goldie smacks a paw over his mouth, shoves him into the back room, and turns to the camera, which she has just realized is rolling.
"Hello and welcome to Warriors Unleashed! I'm proud to say that this show is going to be full of fun and games for y'all's enjoyment. And yes, I did just say y'all. It's a good Great Plains word, dontcha know?"
On the other side of the room, Nightsong facepaws and yells, "Goldie? We have work to do!"
"Fine!" Goldenheart yells back. "Before we get to the show, we have not one but two new crew members to introduce! First off, we have Techyscreen!"
The silver tomcat walks onstage to the applause and takes a bow. When he looks back up, he sees the most beautiful thing in the world...a spankin' new up-to-date camera, which he proceeds to tinker with.
Goldie mutters, "Um, okay... So we can get to know our crew members a little more, I'll be reading their full profiles. So, to begin; Techyscreen-"
Suddenly a disembodied voice cuts her off and finishes for her, "Techyscreen is a technical genius and lives for technology and anything mechanical. He is also a freelance mechanic and built his own motorcycle when he was little more than an apprentice.
The hostesses nervously looked around, slightly freaked out by the disembodied voice. Nightsong composes herself and takes a step forward. Okay..." Our second cat is Honeyleaf!"
Seconds after the gray she-cat walks onstage, the disembodied voice begins again. "Honeyleaf is she-cat medicine cat who hopes to open her own apothecary. She is also our very first medicine cat on Warriors Unleashed!"
Diamondeyes gives off a little shiver before she requests, "Can someone find that and smash it?"
Sunclaw immediately cackles and walks off with her sledgehammer tossed over her shoulder.
"Okay, though our friend the disembodied voice helpfully pointed out, I have to say something," Goldie begins, "Techyscreen is going to be our head technician and Honeyleaf is going to become our very first medicine cat and therefore our head med cat."
Honeyleaf takes a seat by the door marked 'infirmary' while Techyscreen walks into his control room and whacks a few buttons.
"On ta the dares, dun dun dun dun!" Burntfur cheers excitedly, jumping up and down and proceeding to cackle. Nightsong, as we all know she gets rather fed up with the black cat's antics, grabs her own hammer and throws it. Burntfur goes flying backwards into the wall and Honeyleaf immediately drags her into the infirmary like the professional medicine cat that she is.
Meanwhile, Liontail in the wings, declares, "Amazingly, he actually wants to come in. She-cats and toms, give it up for Berrynose!"
The live studio audience that the show has collected in it's few short weeks boo collectively as Berrynose prances out, all high and mighty.
"I'm here!" Berrynose brags, throwing up his paws, "Your lives a-just got better."
The hostesses all roll their eyes while Whitefoot, Honeyleaf, Liontail, and Techyscreen all groan from their positions. Just then, Sunclaw walks in while Berrynose unknowingly sits in the electric chair that Techyscreen's sent out.
"I smashed the record player," Sunclaw announces, swinging her hammer up and onto her shoulder. "Anything else...I need..." Suddenly she notices Berrynose. "Argh!"
She randomly grabs a much larger hammer from backstage and begins chasing Berrynose. Nightsong turns to the camera and helpfully explains, "Sunclaw despises Berrynose."
Berrynose races behind Nightsong and Sunclaw follows. Berrynose grabs Nightsong's shoulder and looks straight at the camera, shrieking sincerely, "I'm too perfect to die!"
"That's why you deserve to die! Argh!"
Goldenheart instinctively screeches and once again grabs her tranq from her secret drawer. She immediately takes out Sunclaw and Honeyleaf makes sure that the dart didn't puncture any major nerves.
Honeyleaf glances back and wonders aloud, "Are cats always getting hurt on this show?"
A now conscious Burntfur sits up and answers, "Nah...actually, yeah." She immediately falls back down again.
"Forget that!" Diamondeyes hollers, waving her paws. "Berrynose, would you be a dear and sit down?"
Berrynose dumbly sits in the electric chair and Nightsong goes to restraining and hooking him up. Goldie claps her paws twice and Honeyfern and Poppyfrost appear front and center.
"Techyscreen, Liontail, you two need to do this..."
She pulls the toms aside and whispers instructions in their ears before turning to Berrynose.
"Berrynose! You have been dared to watch these two kidnap the two ladies in your life."
She turns back to the audience and gestures for them to lean in closer so only they can hear. "What Berrynose doesn't know is that if he moves, he will be shocked." She straightens back up again. "For reasons noted in the last episode, Diamondeyes over here will be in charge of the electrode box."
Diamondeyes takes the box and pulls up a chair while Goldenheart waves her tranq at Burntfur to make it clear that she's not to touch the box.
"On your mark..." Nightsong starts, "Get set... Go!"
Techyscreen and Liontail ambush both she-cats from behind and shove them into burlap sacks. Berrynose yells something unintelligible and tries to move for them. Diamondeyes promptly shocks him. Cackling, as this is the most fun they've had in forever, the two toms take the elevator down into the garage and load the girls into Liontail's rented Jeep. Whitefoot and Nightsong have followed them and take the show's van, which Nightsong commandeers. They then take off after the Jeep and cover the action on a big screen on the studio's east wall. The boys swerve onto the Performing Arts Center turn-off and Berrynose moves again. Diamondeyes laughs and shocks him again. Completely randomly, a nice Mustang swings in front of the show's van. Who's driving?
Sunclaw and Burntfur lean forward and stare at the screen. The driver is a handsome red tabby tom with brown eyes.
"Who is that?"
Sitting at her desk, Goldenheart smiles knowingly and admits, "A friend of mine."
The red cat, as if he heard her, turns and winks directly into Whitefoot's camera. Then he proceeds to chase the car while Berrynose drops into an excited frenzy, with Diamondeyes shocking him again and again. The odd red cat leans on the horn and gives the Jeep a little nudge with his Mustang, almost succeeding in knocking the pair off of the road. Berrynose realizes this and yells incoherently, after which Diamond shocks him one last time. Finally a laughing Goldie grabs a walkie-talkie and says, "Flame, Liontail, Techyscreen, you can cut it out with the high-speed chase thing. I think that we've gone and tortured Berrynose enough.
'Flame' and the other two laugh before 'Flame' swings in front of the Jeep and continues on his path to the Performing Arts Center at the end of the road while the boys make a perfect U-turn along with Whitefoot and Nightsong.
"En route to studio!" Liontail replies.
Suddenly, Liontail's Jeep crashes through the back wall. Which is quite a trick, seeing as the studio is on the fourth floor.
Techyscreen rolls down the window and shouts, "Woo! That rocked!"
Goldenheart stomps over, and, in a fit of rage, rips the door off of the car and hefts the two out while Burntfur and Diamondeyes free the girls.
Liontail dejectedly whispers, "That was a rental..."
A ticked off Goldenheart spins on her heel and scolds, "The rental company is the least of your worries. You two are so dead. And believe me when I say that the wall is coming out of your next paycheck."
"We're fine," Honeyfern inserts, "Thanks for asking!"
"Hmm? Oh, sorry. If you two would just sit down right there, thank you!" The golden she-cat turns back to the two toms, who are being poked and prodded by Honeyleaf while Nightsong and Whitefoot laugh.
"Is there anything else I need to say? I don't think so."
"Weeeelllllll..." Diamondeyes notes, "You could ask them how they got that car up here."
"I don't think that I even want to know, D," Goldie breathes.
Over in the corner, Burntfur has hijacked the box and is messing with it again. "Hehehe. Dance, berrynose, dance!"
Berrynose is dancing on two legs and is still connected to the electrodes. The sad part is that he's actually enjoying it.
"Gotta dance!"
The hostesses look on, rolling their eyes, before Sunclaw swings her hammer and threatens, "Calm it down, Burntfur. Give me the box."
Burntfur holds her box protectively while Nightsong quickly unhooks Berrynose.
"Okay, Berrynose."
Nightsong claps her paws and hammers appear in Poppyfrost and Honeyfern's paws. "You've been dared to choose between the two she-cats you love. Go for it."
Berrynose automatically starts stalling, muttering out unintelligible half-syllables while inching towards the door. Sunclaw stops him and waves one electrode threateningly.
"She's still at it. Ten seconds."
"Ummmm..."
"Five...four...three..."
Berry quickly shouts, "Honeyfern!"
Poppyfrost jumps to her feet and screams, "I knew it!"
Randomly, Poppyfrost turns into a Scarran from Farscape, swings the hammer above her head, and begins chasing Berrynose. Goldie, familiar with Farscape and therefore Scarrans, leaps out of the way and grabs the fire extinguisher. The others standing in the monster's path are going to have some nice little burns later on. Goldie quickly flips on the fire extinguisher and sprays the Scarran, after which it turns back into Poppyfrost.
"Thank you ladies, you can go now!"
The two sisters disappear back to StarClan and the camp. Since Honeyleaf and Goldenheart were the only ones of the crew to escape first degree burns, Honeyleaf begins treating the others while the hostess moves onto the last dare.
"We've been dared to have Burntfur read Berrynose's secrets while I make them appear. Okay! Diamondeyes?"
Diamondeyes, her burns cleared, bounces off to get the secrets for the black she-cat. Honeyleaf stands up and dusts herself off. "Okay, everyone should be all right later on. But Techyscreen, why did I find metal in your bloodstream?"
In a dark tone, Techyscreen answers, "My mother was a robot."
There's awkward silence and then a lightning strike combined with thunder.
"Cree-py," Whitefoot notes before Diamondeyes reappears and hands the page containing Berrynose's secrets to Burntfur.
"Okay, here we go. Berrynose, front and center."
Berrynose cowers in front of Burntfur and Goldenheart as Burntfur holds up the paper.
"He has a severe fear of fox traps."
Goldenheart claps her paws and a fox trap appears before Berrynose. He screams like a girl and dives for the elevator door. Sunclaw catches him by his stumpy tail and tosses him back across the room.
"He is in love...with his mirror!"
Goldenheart claps her paws and a mirror appears. Berrynose kisses it. Goldenheart raises one eyebrow and calmly hums, "Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat..."
"Not many secrets here, eh?" Burntfur comments. "Last one. He is..." the insane she-cat gasps before she finishes, "...training in the Dark Forest!"
There's a collective gasp around the studio. Goldenheart can't help but blurt, "Thornclaw, yes, but I never thought it would be him!"
Techyscreen exits his control room and shouts, "Get 'im!"
Everyone gathers into a stampede and they surge forward to attack Berrynose. Honeyleaf, all alone now, leaps to the abandoned camera and turns it towards her. "Our next episode's guest will be Sandstorm. We'll see you next week!"
Whitefoot goes flying past Honeyleaf's back. Honeyleaf sighs and she goes to do what she's signed up for...healing absolutely insane cats.
Back in ThunderClan camp, the ladies are engaging in the time-old tradition of eating ice cream to ease emotional pain. Poppyfrost laments over a tub of vanilla, "I just can't believe that he loves Honeyfern! I knew I was right. I just knew it.
"We feel your pain, girl," Cinderheart comforts, "Here, try Rocky Road."
Berrynose suddenly walks in to camp, all full of swagger, and the girls turn on him in a big mob, abandoning their ice cream.
"Okay, I know that looked bad-" Berrynose starts defending himself and backs up, "-but I was that close to getting shocked. I only had seconds to answer and Honeyfern is sort of easier to say…Ladies, you really don't need to look that ticked off...Oh, fox dung. Somebody help!"
Later on, long after the show and late at night, Techyscreen rides up to an office building on his precious motorcycle, which he built himself from scrap parts, giving it an awesome Frankenstein-ish look.
Popping off his helmet, Techyscreen looks at the office building. Spotting only one light on, in the room he was told to meet the sender of an odd letter in, Techyscreen climbs the stairs up to the floor with the light and knocks the twice. The door swings open silently and slowly. After a beat, he walks inside, into the dimly lit office. The smell of Japanese cherry blossoms automatically hits his nostrils.
"Hello, Techyscreen. Sit down."
Techyscreen sits down opposite the shape on the other side of the desk, putting his helmet on the floor. The shape leans forward, revealing herself, but only to the silver tomcat.
"Techyscreen, I've brought you here to talk to you about the G Star Thirteen initiative..."
Next week is the all-powerful everything-changes sixth episode! Woohoo! It's also where our crew starts to fill out and we get some more of our favorite kitties back.
I kinda had a bit too much fun with that last part and couldn't help but put in a nice little Avengers reference. It was fun, thanks for asking. :D
Just randomly, I somehow compare Berrynose to the Rum Tum Tugger from CATS. They're both stuck-up womanizers that you somehow learn to love...
Finally, I hope somebody caught the connection I've made between two of my stories...Hint hint...
I don't have anything else to say. *Tips head* Odd...
I like reviews. They're shiny. :)
Thanks for reading!
Hosts
Goldenheart:Intelligent tortoiseshell she-cat with gold streaks, gold eyes, head hostess and executive producer
Burntfur: Insane black she-cat with orange tail, hazel eyes, Goldie's best friend, in charge of picking up cats
Nightsong: Snarky silver she-cat with green and blue dyed streaks, hazel eyes, in charge of picking up cats, has a crush on Techyscreen
Diamondeyes: Beautiful white she-cat with silver streaks, white eyes that glisten like diamonds, in charge of the cat's secrets
Head Technician
Techyscreen: Mysterious silver tom with a metallic sheen that makes him look metal, blue eyes, has a crush on Nightsong
Camera Cats/Techies
Whitefoot: Clever dark brown tabby she-cat, white paws, brown eyes, head camera cat, very ambitious but somewhat lazy and secret pines for the exec producer job
Security
Sunclaw: Protective pale yellow tabby she-cat, yellow eyes that glisten like sunlight, head of security, very strong, has a small crush on Liontail
Director
Liontail: Hard-working dark ginger tabby with a fluffy tail, green eyes, in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly onstage, has a crush on Goldenheart
Medicine Cats
Honeyleaf: Motherly gray she-cat with white speckles, yellow eyes, head medicine cat, owns a small apothecary business