As much as she would have liked to, Deryn couldn't avoid her duty all the time. Three days after she asked Newkirk to bring breakfast to Alek, something came up. She wasn't sure what—he had been unusually indecisive about it—but now she was stuck with the job again, at least for today. This time it was toast and marmalade and a fancy omelette with red peppers. If she were being served such a meal every day, she would have been in a better mood than Alek had been in last time she'd seen him, that was for sure. But then again, to him, this was probably the undesirable fare which he regarded as leftovers to be fed to a dog under the table. A prickle of frustration sparked in her mind, and she decided that if he acted like a bum-rag again today, then she would just avoid him altogether, no matter whether Newkirk brought the food instead.

Shortly after she passed Dr. Erasmus, yawning and on his way to give the messenger lizards their own morning meal, Deryn arrived at Alek's door. She had stood here countless times before, but what she felt was new: intimidation. As soon as she recognized the sentiment for what it was, she did everything she could to squish it, but it popped up again like an adder, angry and venomous. This was Alek. She had faced down free flight on a Huxley, German aeroplanes shooting at her, her ship crash-landing in the Alps, the menacing Herkules, a battle with two ironclads, a secret mission to destroy Istanbul's kraken nets, a revolution, and countless other dangers with no more than a fierce sense of bravado, so why was one soft little prince so threatening? The worst he could do was throw a fit, and angry princes did not scare Deryn Sharp.

...did they? She gulped. Her knees were practically knocking, even though she should have been perfectly relaxed. So maybe they hadn't gotten along the last time they had talked. Big deal. Unless she never wanted to talk to him again, she was going to have to stop being such a ninny and just knock on the door already. Without even thinking, that was exactly what she did: three plain, sharp raps. She balanced the tray in her other hand, feeling very much like a fancy-boots waiter in a restaurant, but the fantasy was shattered when Alek opened the door.

There were circles under his eyes the colour of eggplants, and instead of holding himself regally as usual, he was slouched over like a beggar. He nodded a dull hello, but his eyes sparked with a more usual curiosity when he noticed it was Deryn and not Newkirk. He opened the door wider and she walked in. He had barely left her enough room to squeeze by, and she tried her best to ignore the electric crackling along her shoulder when she brushed against him. What was she, a Tesla cannon? Once she was in, he gave her a conspicuous look, and her heart leapt into her throat. Had he guessed? How? When? Bloody Hell, if he and Newkirk had figured it out...

To hide her alarm, she bent over and put the breakfast on the table, taking care to avoid Bovril, who was asleep underneath. As she did, she commented, taking care to keep her voice low, "It looks like someone could have used a bit more sleep."

Deryn heard Alek's voice behind her, startlingly close. She could even feel his breath on her neck, and it sent shivers down her spine. "Yes, but I was busy thinking." She leaped straight back up and whirled around only to find that his face was mere inches from hers. They were almost precisely the same height, which made it worse. She retreated and exclaimed, "Barking spiders, Alek! Were you trying to crack our heads together?"

"Of course not. There's nothing wrong in taking a look at what's on the menu for today, is there? Or is that a problem? You never struck me as the jumpy sort."

Deryn argued, "I don't tend to be jumpy unless I have Clankers trying to give me a concussion!" She was about to continue when she realized that this would only lead to a repetition of their fight from three days ago. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Look, I'm sorry for fighting with you. Can we just forget about it and be friends again?"

"Easy for you to say, since by that arrangement, you could just go on keeping your secret and not caring about how I feel whatsoever," Alek retorted darkly.

"That's not true!" Deryn protested, taking a step closer again. "You can't just say that. Of course I care about you. If I didn't, you'd have gotten your bum in so much trouble by now, not even clever-beak Volger could pull you out of it, and that's saying something. Would you have told me yours, anyways, if Dr. Barlow hadn't figured almost all of it out already? I bet you wouldn't have. And by that logic, I shouldn't have to tell you about myself either unless you've already guessed it." She crossed her arms, proud of her solid argument.

Alek stared her directly in the eye, his gaze bright with a fierce intelligence and determination. Suddenly, he seemed a world different from the exhausted, half-dead Alek that had let her in a moment ago. Had that been a purposeful disguise? "And what if I've already guessed it? What would you do then?" he demanded.

"If you were right, then I would tell you so. And the same if you were wrong," Deryn replied softly. She would keep her secret from him at all costs, and she would do everything she could to convince him that she was just a normal, male middy in the Royal Air Service, but she would not lie to him.

"I've put it all together," Alek began. "You became a midshipman, which means that you would have been in close quarters with other boys... Volger noticed something odd about you, and he would figure this kind of thing out... and you're always making excuses to be near me. I know what you are, Dylan. I'll admit it, it's unnatural, and I don't like it at all, but you're still my friend."

Deryn stared at him, uncomprehending. "I'm... what? What's unnatural? What do you think my secret is, exactly?"

"Stop pretending you don't know. You're homosexual, aren't you?"

Deryn kept staring. "I'm... what?" Then, ever so slowly, comprehension dawned on her. Wasn't it one of the things that man Sigmund Freud wrote about? She squeaked, her voice rising, "You—you think I'm—no! Alek, you have it all wrong! I'm not—no! That's not it at all, you barking ninny!"

"It's okay," Alek said quickly. "I've read about this! It's only... what's the word... arrested development, that's it! I think it's remarkably awkward, but you have my word: you're still my friend."

Deryn made a frustrated noise, which came out much squeakier than she had intended. She whirled and faced the window, taking a moment to regain control of herself. Her cheeks burned, and she could see them, bright red, in her reflection. Alek, she decided with conviction, was the biggest Dummkopf she'd ever known. But at least he hadn't figured out her true secret.

When she spoke, her voice was back to normal, and she even surprised herself with its calmness. "That's not what I am, Alek. I'm sorry, but you haven't guessed it right." She heard his boots scuffing across the carpet towards her, and the blank noise in her head grew as he came closer. When he had stopped, once again just inches from her, she could feel every nerve in her body screaming like it was on fire. She was torn between terror, knowing he was on the brink of finding her out, and desire, knowing that with the smallest, simplest movement, she could turn and make their lips meet.

His voice was wistful. "What are you, Dylan?"

"I'm a—" Deryn stopped herself just in time. This was enough. She had to choose the ship or Alek. If she told him her secret, everything would change, and others might find out. If she stopped seeing him completely, she would be heartbroken, but at least she would have the Leviathan. Blinking back tears, she turned and ran out of the room without a word of farewell.

This chapter required a little research. I wanted to make an allusion to a venomous snake, but I wasn't sure if there were any in Scotland; turns out the adder is the only one. I also had to do some research on opinions of homosexuality in the 1910s; most of my information came from ENotes. Forgive me if some of it is incorrect. I figured Alek should be a little more accepting of it, if only to make up for the sexist ass he was in Behemoth. Plus, it made things go more smoothly. In general, though, he'd have been a bit forward-thinking for his time. Also, the term was only introduced in 1869, and I think Deryn, being the "commoner" that she is, probably wouldn't have understood it immediately like someone would today.

Anyhow, research analysis done. Thanks again to all my great reviewers. 3