Chapter 11: A Formidable Effort
Warning: Inaccurate Norse mythology
Otherwise, enjoy the Stoki bonding :)
"I have finished them all." Loki announces before Steve even dismounts the stairs properly, to which the soldier returns his customary look of confusion.
"What?"
"The books you gave me. I have completed them." The god says almost proudly, as if Steve a day ago had presented him with a challenge.
"But, I gave you like ten books."
Loki tilts his chin to look at his visitor through hooded eyes, appearing quite pleased. "Another area Midgardians are simply lacking in, I'm afraid. You may quiz me if you'd like."
"No, it's fine, I believe you." Steve puts up a hand and wills himself to stay focused. He had wanted to come prepared, tried to conjure up possible situations and appropriate responses for each, but eventually realized the uselessness and absurdity of it all. He can never be prepared when it comes to Loki, who is inherently problematic and unpredictable—a perpetual mystery that no one has ever come close to solving. And Steve, by contrast, is plainly himself, and all he has to give is his honest, diehard effort.
"What is the matter, Captain?" The god eyes Steve curiously, his voice oddly gentle, "Was your talk with the Director not to your liking?"'
And that's the other thing nagging at his conscience. This pseudo-friendship—if Steve can call it any form of a friendship at all—is still just a part of some larger ploy—a long-term pretense—with lives, and worlds, and feelings at stake. And Steve is again muddled with what it is that he should do, which part of this is his responsibility, and which is honesty, sincerity, and truth?
"It's something else, actually." He sighs, deciding that there's no point for mincing words at this stage. "We made some progress yesterday—a lot of progress actually—with regards to the portal."
"That is excellent news, is it not?" Loki says coolly, already anticipating the bad news to follow, and Steve takes a deep breath through his nose.
"Dr. Foster, you know Dr. Foster—"Steve says cautiously, and Loki rolls his eyes and waves a flippant hand as if to say get on with it. "—Her data suggest that the portal you fell through came from the Bifrost."
The god visibly stiffens, expression flickering with—at least what Steve assumes to be—genuine surprise, doubt, and maybe even a smidgen of indignity. "That is impossible."
"The—energy signature?" Steve winces as he tries to recall Jane's lengthy, albeit simplified explanation, "Of the portal matches to the Bifrost's—or at least when it was still in prepare."
"How would she know that?" Loki looks at him skeptically, almost angrily, and Steve wonders if this is normal. Did he actually catch Loki in his lie or is this…something else?
"Thor came to Earth a couple of times while it was still in repair, and our scientists detected these—traces, I guess."
"A couple?" Loki presses his lips to a frown, brows furrowed in thought. "As impotent as he is with words, surely negotiations would not warrant a couple of visits. What was his purpose here?"
Because he was mourning for you, Steve thinks, because he wanted to see Jane. But he doubts that Loki would have accepted either.
"More importantly, how did he even manage to—" Loki is speaking swiftly, quietly, more to himself that to Steve. "Did Heimdall allow it?"
"Who?" Steve asks, and Loki's jaws click shut. A brief silence passes, during which Loki continues to stare intensely at nothing in particular.
"Never mind, that does not matter," the god eventually concludes, "I highly doubt that the portal is left by the Bifrost, but if the best minds Midgard has to offer would think so, then perhaps I will humor myself with this idea."
Steve stares at the god blankly, feeling lost. "You said the portal was because of Thanos."
"I still believe that."
"How sure are you?"
"Bring me your scientists, and we will settle it. Who is in charge? Stark?"
"Did you honestly—" Steve grimaces, wondering if an elegant way of expressing this allegation even exists, but Loki is looking at him so expectantly that he feels pressured to spit everything out as it is, which in retrospect, was probably not the best idea. "Did you not consider this possibility? At all?"
Loki watches him steadily, eyes sharp and features impassive. "You think I lied."
Steve has no response.
"And everything I have ever revealed to you is now under scrutiny." The god plainly states, and the soldier feels something tugging at him painfully—guilt? It's always guilt.
"Have you lied to me?" He says as Loki's eyes flicker of something dangerous.
"No."
"If you did—if you tell me right now—I can, we can still work something out."
"I did not lie to you, soldier." The god snarls, teeth gritting and feral.
Steve feels his breath catching in his throat, remembering the many facets of Loki he had been allowed to see during these past few days, and wonders if he will ever see them again.
"I want to believe you." He takes a few hesitant steps closer to the cell. "But I need you to tell me more. Especially, after this. Please." It's not really Loki's fault if he honestly didn't know, but Fury would definitely need more convincing, and Steve can't deny that he could use some too. He wonders whether he should have entertained this possibility before confronting the god, but Loki is the God of Lies—what was Steve supposed to expect?
"You hardly deserve it, but I do not have a choice, do I?" the god relaxes, although his shields are once again lifted, mask impenetrable. "What do you wish to know?"
"What happened that day when Thanos attacked Asgard," Steve carefully says, "Tell me exactly, as much as you remember—and not just what you think is important."
Loki frowns, obviously displeased with the request, but eventually abides with only a moment's hesitation. "Thanos had chosen a formidable time to launch his attack. A day of feast for the anniversary of Queen Frigga."
"Your mother?"
"Thor's mother." Loki adds somewhat needlessly, "And yes, mine too."
"What happened?
"It was close to dusk when Thanos approached me. He freed me from my cell after murdering my guards and crushed the many layers of both magic and physical precautions that stood between us. He destroyed them all, except for these chains that seal my power. Odin's magic."
"Is that when he—" Steve gestures vaguely to his side, where those stiches had long healed.
"Yes."
"Can you tell me exactly what happened?" This conversation is like pulling teeth, awkward and unwilling, and Steve doubts it gets any better.
"He took me by my neck," Loki says stony faced, "He held me against a wall and ran a dagger down my side. I assume he stopped after I lost consciousness."
"Did he say anything to you?"
"He taunted me for attempting to escape his punishment."
Steve swallows audibly, feeling uncomfortable and invasive, and the way Loki is staring at him with a mixture of indignity and contempt isn't making his job any easier. Odin's punishment or Thanos' revenge—these are Loki's choices right now, and Steve has to remind himself that the god deserves it—Asgardian justice at least—because he has taken the lives of the innocent and waged needless war. These are the lawful consequences to his misbehavior, but somehow, this notion isn't as comforting as it once used to be.
"Okay, then what?"
"I saw smoke in the direction of Odin's vault when he brought me outside," Loki continues, "It had been a decoy, and Odin must have realized too. We were soon confronted by guards, with increasing frequency as we made our way to the outskirts, although Thanos easily struck them down. Eventually, we reached the Bifrost where his portal sits. It was small, enough for maybe two or three to cross at a time, nothing compared to the portal forged by the Tesseract. The rest of his army waited on the other side, but Thanos had halted them from crossing. He then held me over the abyss before letting me fall."
"So you didn't see Odin? Or Thor?"
"No," Loki's voice is hard but his eyes are sad, and Steve feels an undeniable twinge of sympathy and gives his best effort to hide. "They were protecting the vault, most likely."
"But you ended up here though."
"Yes."
"Because of the Bifrost."
"I do not know," Loki draws his brows together, "If the portal on Midgard is indeed a byproduct of the Bifrost, then someone must have activated it before I had fallen to the Chitauri."
"Does this mean someone saved you?" The soldier gapes, eyes widening in revelation.
"Yes, I share the same doubts as you, that someone would do that for me." The god says dryly, and Steve feels abashed, wishing he had phrased himself better. "Heimdall is all-sensing and all-knowing." The god continues. "Legends claim that he is capable of detecting the fluttering of a butterfly's wings a thousand worlds away. He is the overseer of the Bifrost, and only he could have opened it. Although—" Loki's voice softens a little. "—I know not why he would. We are enemies."
"Why's that?"
Loki looks knowingly at Steve, a grin tugging at his lips that is both self-righteous and depreciating at the same time, "Because I have deceived his all seeing eyes—multiple times—which he hardly appreciates. And he is one of Odin's foolish servants, while I refuse to be. I had assumed he was slain by Thanos. He was on the ground of his observatory when we arrived, in a pool of his own blood, missing an arm and a leg. If he were alive—or sentient—he would be the first to know I am here, and Asgard would have come for me by now. I have done nothing to conceal my presence."
"If he's not there to operate the Bifrost, can it still be used?"
"There is very few qualified to do so." Loki waves a dismissive hand. "But Odin has his ways, I am sure, so fear not. Once he is informed that I am here, he will send someone to retrieve me."
"How does the Bifrost work, anyway?" Steve asks more out of curiosity than anything, "Is it like the train? Do people buy tickets and get on?"
And Loki actually laughs—brisk and sharp (probably at the idiocy of the question)—and Steve is strangely mesmerized because he's never seen Loki laugh before, and it's a peculiar sight and sound. "I do not know what a 'train' is, but no, you do not pay to use the Bifrost. It is almost exclusively limited to the royal family, and by that I mean Odin."
"But you've used it. And Thor."
"It had been highly frowned upon, and each time ended in some sort of punishment."
"Where have you gone, besides Earth."
"I'm sure you've heard of the incident at Jötunheim." Loki says without any real emotion. "Another notable place would be Alfheim, the land of the light elves."
Loki grins, in a small, subtle kind of way, as if reliving a memory that had not been particularly awful. It is something Steve easily could have missed if he had blinked at an inopportune time, but since he didn't and has managed to catch that brief glimpse, there's nothing else he wants to do more than to desperately cling to it.
"Did you like—Alfheim?"
"It is a pleasant enough place," Loki says carefully, as if tasting the words to a story he hadn't considered in a long time. "Nearly perpetually spring, and we—Thor and I—had gone there often as young boys. The light elves were a peaceful race, so our visits were almost consented by Odin?"
"So what happened?" Steve asks, strangely captivated by the way Loki's features seem to soften, making him centuries younger.
"We had been picking flowers for mother's anniversary," the god continues, "and Thor stumbled upon a woman bathing in the river. The Goddess Idunn, niece to the elf king Frey."
"Oh."
"Although, one might wonder why the king's niece would be bathing in a river." Loki arches a brow and smiles—almost suggestively—and Steve ducks his head in embarrassment.
"Oh."
"This clandestine rendezvous with the general's son had been highly frowned upon, considering Idunn was to marry the Asgardian warrior Bragi." Loki says musingly, "Bragi refused to wed her—or at least postponed the wedding for another century—before his sentiment and libido got the better of him. Idunn bears a grudge against us till this day, dubbing us as meddling, perverted princes who spy on women while they bathe. Although, I must admit, even Thor had been too young at the time to properly admire her form. Needless to say, after that fateful day, we were never to return to Alfheim again."
Steve stares at Loki, just sort of gaping and unsure of what to do with his face. He wants to laugh at the outrageousness of the story, but can't wrap his mind around the idea of Loki making him laugh, especially when the god isn't even trying to be funny, probably.
"Of course, as we grew older, Thor would visit Midgard with his friends to scare mortals and make his name known, while I focused on taming my magic." Loki pauses briefly, frowning a little as if realizing that he had shared more than he is comfortable with. "And until Jötunheim, this was the extent of our use of the Bifrost."
"I—Wow." was all Steve manages in the end.
"I apologize if the latter half of our conversation has been irrelevant." The god says somewhat stiffly, embarrassed almost.
"Oh no," Steve quickly assures, without thinking, "It's fine—it's more than fine—if you want to talk about stuff like this more often—"
Loki, of course misunderstanding him, scowls rather indignantly. "My life is my concern, and none of yours. I am not here to amuse you."
Steve puts a hand up in apology, accepting the reprimand even though it is ill deserved. "What I meant to say was. It was nice—to just talk."
Loki scans him with critical eyes, before stating plainly. "This is not camaraderie." And it strikes Steve a little more tenderly than it should.
"No, it's not," he sullenly agrees, "But if you weren't so—I don't know—mysterious, you'll have a easier time convincing people to believe you."
Loki visibly stiffens, and Steve almost feels bad for redirecting the conversation back to the present, back to Thanos, the war, and Loki's helplessness here. "You would have accused me of such regardless," he says, smiling grimly, and Steve finds it unnerving how sure he seems.
"How about this," the soldier says, hoping to reach some sort of neutral ground, "From now on, you make an effort to tell us the whole truth—details included no matter how insignificant you think they are—and I—we—will make an effort to believe you, regardless of—what might come up."
Loki arches an eyebrow, almost amused at the proposition. "An formidable effort on both our parts, then."
"I mean it."
"And I doubt you not."
"Okay," Steve shifts his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other, before on an impulse, walks to the scan by the cell and presses the code to enter. Loki watches him warily as he approaches, standing up to meet the soldier eye to eye.
"Shake on it." Steve extends his hand, and wills himself to maintain his confidence when nothing happens on the god's part for a long excruciating moment.
The god eventually takes his hand, lips curving on one end, as if humoring himself with such strange foreign customs. His grip is firm, but skin surprisingly smooth and cold. Steve decides three shakes are enough before letting go.
He stands there for another awkward moment, trying to think of something else to say. "So did you like my books?" He eventually decides, and Loki seems to accept the digression, returning to a rather flippant air.
"I suppose they can serve as an adequate past time when one is in prison."
"Do you want more?"
"I demand more."
As always, thanks for reading! Please let me know if you'd enjoyed it!